Stella Awards

[Uncle Kram]

It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella

Awards."

The Stellas are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled

coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the

Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the

United States.



Here are this year's winners:

7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000

by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who

was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were

understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving

little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son!

6th Place: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and

medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.

Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the

car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a

house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to

get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was

malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door

connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on

vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight

days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry

dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused

him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded

$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the ass by his next door

neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The

award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a

little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the

fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson

of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink

and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.

Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an

argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the

owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom

window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while

Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to

avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental

expenses.

1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having

driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left

the driver's seat to go into the back and make herself a sandwich. Not

surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's

manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000

plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the

basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

[OpenMind]

I need some dosh. Now, where did I put that banana skin?

[lady cop]

great arguments for tort reform.

[SOJOURNER]

What do you expect!

These awards came from "a jury of his peers!"

[Accountable]

:yh_rotfl



You're right Sojo! I could see it now. "Judge calls mistrial. Couldn't find 12 people as stupid as plaintiff."

[lady cop]

Accountable wrote: :yh_rotfl



You're right Sojo! I could see it now. "Judge calls mistrial. Couldn't find 12 people as stupid as plaintiff."they could always reconvene the oj criminal trial jury.

[Sheryl]

Ok and I thought I knew some sue happy people.