Social Services

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:31 am

My son is 3 yrs old and living currently with foster carers and has been for 7 months he's attended contact with bruising to which nobody has any explanation he was so badly bruised in August i refused to allow him to go back to the carer and was eventually taken to hospital where there was 14 bruises noted still he was returned to the same carer and the social services are doing nothing................... I am currenttly trying to press charges against the carer and due to doin this my contact has been reduced to 1 hour a week from 3 hours one week and 2 the next..........:-1

Does anyone think i'm in the wrong for being a mother and caring about my child?? :-5 :-5 :-5

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:39 am

Hello Sheryl,

Why is your son in foster care in the first place??

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:47 am

My son was placed in foster care because of my drug habit....... but he was always put first i never put drugs 1st................ i was wrong to use drugs but many parents do.............. now the social worker is trying to say i have problems parenting after 5 weeks of being my sons social worker she decided to take him cos i had a very very negative relationship with her she was telling me how to bring my son up instead of offering support like she should have done...............................:-5 :-5

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:03 am

Any chance of getting another social worker then? Your social worker probably felt she was supporting you, we can't always get on with everyone.

Maybe she's just not so good at supporting without seeming like it. Some people have natural skills of putting things across by giving you ideas rather than appearing to tell you what do.

My three year old is currently covered in bruises after falling off her bike, are you sure this sort of thing didn't happen with your son? Kids are kids and through the clumsy toddler stages both my children have been covered in bruises, it's a fact of life at that age.

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:33 am

They are refusing to change my sons social worker and are applying to the courts to have him put for adoption........... i am certain that his bruises are not accidental he had a bruise under his arm-pit and has become really withdrawn

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:36 am

I assume you have a solicitor then?

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:43 am

Are the current foster parents the ones who want to adopt him?

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:54 am

yes i have a solicitor........... he's doing his best to get my son home............... I'm not sure if the carers want to adopt him as i don't get told who he will (if he is) be adopted to:( :-1 :-1 :-1

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:15 am

Here in the states, this is an end run around the scarcity of adoptable babies.

Take in foster kids, find one you like and then let the social worker know you would like to adopt this particular child.

Prove the parents unfit to reunite with the child and what is the best thing for the child? Why, of course, staying in the loving environment they have grown accustomed to.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:38 am

I have never had to deal with this kind of thing personally but I would suggest Go see your local MP and ask for help, He or she should hold local surgeries for constituents, that's what they are there for-not to say they will but you have nothing to lose, just don't go looking like a junkie.

Find any local single parent support groups that you can. You don't say how bad the drug problem is or whether you did actually neglect your son but you are up against a lot of inbuilt prejudice. If you think he is being abused get hold of the RSPCC as well and see if they can help or at least make them aware of the concerns. There`have been a few high proifile cases where social services ignoredsigns of abuse by carers.

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:22 pm

when i actually think about it my son is in more danger now than he ever was with me......... The carer and social services have gone one step further now by brain washing my son against me.. They say he's saying he doesn't like me and that he doesn't love me yet when i have contact with him he's brilliant and is giving me lots of cuddles and kisses and tells me he miss's me and loves me............ when contact is finish'd he looks really upset that he has to leave

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:31 pm

I would suggest you document in writing all dates, times, directions given etc. so that you can apprear competent and in control when you are questioned on past happenings. Presenting a stable personality is very important. Kicking your drug habit is vital in showing that you can offer your son a safe, secure and loving home.

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:45 pm

I am trying my very best to kick my drug habit which isn't easy..............i'm currently on the waiting list to go into a detox........... i've thought several times about just going and taking my son and starting a new life where we can't be found............................

Maybe this is my only chance to have a life with my son and to watch him grow up :-1 :-1 :-1

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:11 pm

Sheryl you are a junkie right ? so how did you come to the attention of social services it takes more than one complaint before your child is taken away - i have a next door neighbour much the same as you she was a drunk used drugs and use to leave her son home alone luckily her child after many incidents like being arrested drunk in charge of a minor and belting a copper her son aged 3 was given to the father- thankfully. one year on she still whines and complains that its the fault of every body else - its ok to be a drunk/junkie but dont you dare grass her up - maybe its time you quit whining AND DRUGS and think about the ONLY important thing in your life YOUR CHILD .Where do people like you get off blaming everybody else. so what if your social worker hates you you neglected your child you put your child in that postion you will get no sympathy from me - a child is a gift dont you dare ever forget it .

:-5

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:21 pm

Did i say it was anyone else's fault??????? NO......... At the end of the day i expect social services to PROTECT my son not let the carer THEY placed him with ABUSE him :-5 :-5

If it was the case and my son had 14 bruises on his body while with me i'm sure they'd contact the police in a shot

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:45 pm

so how did YOU come to the attention of social services ?

anastrophe · Post by **anastrophe** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:51 pm

(thread moved to kids & family forum)

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:51 pm

. At the end of the day i expect social services to PROTECT my son not let the carer THEY placed him with ABUSE him

Social services are protecting him - from you!!

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:09 pm

They have no need to protect him from me.................. he always came 1st and social services got involv'd cos his dad was a **** head

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:09 pm

if he truely came first, you'd have stopped the drug thing the minute you knew you were pregnant. Most parents don't take drugs,,,in fact most of us would be horrified at the thought of our kids having any contact with drug users.

time to put your money where your mouth is and get clean. Make the most of your contact with him, he's just a baby. As to the bruises..well, yes, some foster carers have been found to be abusive. Don't fight your social worker, just keep repeating your concerns and insist on someone independant taking a statement...could your solicitor be present when you next have contact maybe?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:43 pm

sheryl_b wrote:

I am trying my very best to kick my drug habit which isn't easy..............i'm currently on the waiting list to go into a detox........... i've thought several times about just going and taking my son and starting a new life where we can't be found............................

Maybe this is my only chance to have a life with my son and to watch him grow up :-1 :-1 :-1this would be a very ill-advised move, which could get you into deep water, interference with custody, even kidnapping. i am sure that if you thought it over you would not want your son to live in hiding. step one is get clean, nothing else is possible until you have done that.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:00 pm

Please get yourself clean so you can raise your child. I don't know of any professional child care people who listen to junkies.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:48 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: Please get yourself clean so you can raise your child. I don't know of any professional child care people who listen to junkies.
If the father turned you in, why are they talking adoption instead of giving him custody?

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:24 pm

Peg wrote: If the father turned you in, why are they talking adoption instead of giving him custody?

Good question.........where is dear ole Dad?

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 6:27 am

dear old dad will prob be sat in a pub somewhere seen as he turn'd his back on my son when he was 18 months old and then didn't like it wen he heard my new partner was being call'd daddy and my son had his surname

:-5 :-3

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 6:28 am

dear old dad will prob be sat in a pub somewhere seen as he turn'd his back on my son when he was 18 months old and then didn't like it wen he heard my new partner was being call'd daddy and my son had his surname

:-5 :-3

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Dec 24, 2005 6:54 am

Typical so how many fathers has this poor child had in his short life - your still blaming every body else for your mistakes YOU are the junkie YOU are the parent the child is being protected from YOU chose the lazy sperm that sits in the pub on christmas day .Get clean be grateful and stop whining NOBODY cares your a junkie - SCUM.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Dec 24, 2005 10:55 am

So how did you become a junkie ?

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 3:06 pm

I got in wiv the wrong crowd........ we all make mistakes and nobody can say they havn't made them........... i tried drugs and before i knew it i was hook'd but wen i start'd i thought i had control but drugs soon take over........... I always put my son 1st tho that's why he flexs around in top named clothes and shoes............ i'd see myself rattling if my son needed new trainers or clothes and NOT buy drugs Nobody really understands anything about drugs till they've actually been there thenselves

People who judge 'junkies' don't know a thing about drugs and obviousley have never had a habit

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Dec 25, 2005 8:32 am

Really - why are you still whining. your son has been in care for seven months and you are still an active drug addict if you cared at all for him you would be clean .

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:38 am

sheryl_b wrote:

People who judge 'junkies' don't know a thing about drugs and obviousley have never had a habit
Wrong wrong wrong.....

Again, you're transferring the blame and whining that "people just don't understand...." yada, yada, yada....

Sorry, but you're not going to find much sympathy for that here. Not to mention, we're getting only one side of this story, yours. And everyone knows 2 things: the story will be told to best suit the needs of the teller, and you can tell when a junkie is lying because their lips are moving.

Sorry, I'm not buying a word of it. And I HAVE been through addiction, so don't even try to tell me that I don't "get" it. I get it better than anyone.

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:41 am

MY SON IS NOW BACK HOME WITH ME AFTER A CHILD PHYCOLOGIST CONCLUDED THAT THE SOCIAL SERVICES AND SO CALLED CARER WHERE BRAIN WASHING HIM AND ALLOWING HIM TO BE ABUSED.......... THERE IS A POLICE INVESTIGATION UNDERWAY AND MY SON IS NOW WITHDRAWN BUT WITH ME HE'LL SOON BE BACK TO A NORMAL 3 YR OLD HOPEFULLY.....................

HE'S MY LITTLE RAY OF :-6

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:44 am

sheryl_b wrote:

MY SON IS NOW BACK HOME WITH ME AFTER A CHILD PHYCOLOGIST CONCLUDED THAT THE SOCIAL SERVICES AND SO CALLED CARER WHERE BRAIN WASHING HIM AND ALLOWING HIM TO BE ABUSED.......... THERE IS A POLICE INVESTIGATION UNDERWAY AND MY SON IS NOW WITHDRAWN BUT WITH ME HE'LL SOON BE BACK TO A NORMAL 3 YR OLD HOPEFULLY.....................

HE'S MY LITTLE RAY OF :-6but are you still using?

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:04 am

No i am now clean and doing really well................

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:10 am

Good for you, Sheryl, and well done. I wish you and your son all the very best :-6

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:54 am

i'm goin to set my aims now at nobody but my son

theia · Post by **theia** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:36 am

And you can do it, Sheryl, you really can, just keep those aims in mind.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:49 am

And all this happened within a week - bollocks i dont believe you .

sheryl_b · Post by **sheryl_b** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:50 am

it's call'd an appeal and getting the police involved

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:52 am

Really, who are you trying to convince because it aint me.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Jan 07, 2006 8:00 am

and your partner is in prison and your telling me you got the kid back .

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:51 pm

my B.S. detector is in overdrive. druggies are liars by definition. right before christmas you were still not in rehab and now you're clean? right. anyone want to buy some swampland in florida? :rolleyes:

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:05 am

:yh_clap :yh_clap Well said LC- and to think social services would take a child from approved foster parents and give it back to a lying junkie whos boyfriend is in prison .Oh yeh and when did council flats get conservatorys.

PIXIECHICK35 · Post by **PIXIECHICK35** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:25 am

My heart goes out to the child involved in the mess. Another horror story!

HelloGal · Post by **HelloGal** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:42 pm

I hope your doing well Sheryl

I am a foster mom myself don't hate me I read a bit on this and it realy tears me up that a foster mom would do that to a child. Yes it has happened the reason I became one to help the children and I love those kids I would never do any harm and I am for reunification of the family and the thing you need right now is a support system. I hate to hear of cases like that where the system who is suppose to protect the child harms it. Sad indeed. Also being a drug addict does not make you unable to be a parent and yes children are returned if the parent changes their are plenty single moms and lots of them have their partners in Jail that is not the problem at all. I hope you have a support system and keep off drugs. If you get a chance stop by the mommyneighborhood thier is support for moms of all backgrounds. No one is perfect and we have all sinned I believe in Jesus and I know he loves you and everyone. Sherly what I am saying is don't let anyone bring you down they have not walked a mile in your shoes and I do not judge you. I wish you the best of luck.