Horoscope drinking! (Long)

[valerie]

ARIES

Drinking style:

Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to

call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing

time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty

flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way

to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can

become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever

happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be

counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and

done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.



TAURUS

Drinking style:

Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow

rather than a full on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a

one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who

spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the

preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and

barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that

the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will

get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is

extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.



GEMINI

Drinking style:

Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're so

naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell

sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusions,

then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of

intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic

ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very

tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different

cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme

(like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own

amusement.



CANCER

Drinking style:

Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an

after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling?

Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against

lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and

insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style,

Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional"

(read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping

stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer.

Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor

vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up vanilla vodka and soda.



LEO

Drinking style:

Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and

usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity

and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling

Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably

because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed,

expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung

them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try

to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to

you the next day.



VIRGO

Drinking style:

Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their

famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other

signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking

down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked

-- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but

there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when

walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo

friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of

intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!



LIBRA

Drinking style:

"I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn

social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to

everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend

device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little

instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as

they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which

can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly

boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's

beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!



SCORPIO

Drinking style:

Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you

and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog whimpering

drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if

you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to

savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if

depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally,

they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and

dizzying flirts.

They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were

blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.



SAGITTARIUS

In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness:

When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.

Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is

a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of

Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?).

They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire

crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or

Cancun.

Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of

loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).



CAPRICORN

Drinking style:

Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and

status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological

cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie

Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:

independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to

please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble?

But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off,

and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy

the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.



AQUARIUS

Drinking style:

Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water,

that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if

they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a

stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however,

they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they

make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're

usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best-designated

drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):

Aquarius is fascinated by drunken people and capable of holding

interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.



PISCES

Drinking style:

If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign

-- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and

Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy,

out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty

tolerance fast.

Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're

fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime.

With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas

and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality"

can be read two ways, you know

--------------------

I ALMOST posted this in the PUB!!



And, the Scorpio is ME!!! ACK!!!



:o

[Lil~Basco]

I'm an Aries...No freakin' way does this fit me!

Good one Valerie! :wah:

[orangesox1]

Pisces,



Fits me pretty good but I I haven't developed a tolerance for it, I can be a cheap drunk.

[nvalleyvee]

I'm married to a Scorpio and he likes me..............

[Valerie100]

I'm an Aries, and I can laughingly say that there have been a party or two, in my younger years now, where I've been known to wear a lampshade on my head.

One party, I remember, there were three of us that decided to take the lampshades off of the lamps in the house and walk around with them on our heads. It was out of nowhere and was such a riot.

I also remember at another pary talking about grilled lizard and cheese sandwiches and how their little tails would be sticking out of the bread and flipping around when you try to take a bite -- and, yes, the sandwiches were with tomatos. Gross and disgusting, but we had some real good laughs about that one.

Or -- my favorite and one of the most hysterical tiffs -- at a New Year's Eve party in 1998(?), I got drunk and passed out. Before I passed out, though, I had decided and was very adamant about it that my long range career goal was to become an "Entreprenurial Girl Scout Cookie Seller." I was actually laying on the couch talking to my then sister-in-law and telling her that. I remember my ex-sister-in-law and my ex-mother-in-law dying of hysterics about it. I have no idea where that one came from!

[CountryDweller]

These were great!

I'm a cancer and the only thing that rings true here is that I love the scent of vanilla!

[Wolverine]

capricorn.

yikes.

[Accountable]

My beloved is a Gemini and it fits her pretty well. I'm a Cancer, and I don't remember.

[ubetta]

and screw you if

you have a problem with that.


I think Scorps pretty much have that attitude about most things, lol.

Don't do ANYTHING with me if I don't like ya and if you have a problem with that? well.....Screw you! heheh.:p

[Peg]

SAGITTARIUS

In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness:

When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.

Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is

a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of

Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?).

They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire

crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or

Cancun.

Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of

loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

Pretty much describes me except for the spilling secrets part.

[nvalleyvee]

Wolverine wrote: capricorn.

yikes.


No wonder I think we don't think alike.............Capricorn here too. BUT---I have a Cancer moon and a Taurus rising - thank the Goddess for evening my Capricorn out....................:wah: :wah: :wah:

[chrisb84uk]

Oooh that's pretty spot on for me <----- Aquarius. So anyone looking for a ride back home after a late night, looks like I'm the driver.