Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
I have decided that my complete lack of empathy for all human suffering and cruel sense of humour will make me the perfect agony aunt (well uncle) for you people. So if you have any problems, prefferably something that I can get a laugh out of, don't hestitate to write.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
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chrisb84uk
- Posts: 11634
- Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:29 am
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
That's a great idea for a thread, I'm surprised that I didn't think of that earlier. Well I can't say I have any problems, but I'm sure that u will be able to find many people who could use some advice!! 
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
chrisb84uk wrote: That's a great idea for a thread, I'm surprised that I didn't think of that earlier. Well I can't say I have any problems, but I'm sure that u will be able to find many people who could use some advice!!
Thank you chris, though I have found (during my 14 minute course in councelling) that people who say they have no problems are usually covering up feelings of rage and guilt related to past failures with the opposite sex. I suggest that you immediatly begin a six week course of intensive massala yoga to relieve these latent feelings.
Thank you chris, though I have found (during my 14 minute course in councelling) that people who say they have no problems are usually covering up feelings of rage and guilt related to past failures with the opposite sex. I suggest that you immediatly begin a six week course of intensive massala yoga to relieve these latent feelings.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
-
chrisb84uk
- Posts: 11634
- Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:29 am
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Galbally wrote: Thank you chris, though I have found (during my 14 minute course in councelling) that people who say they have no problems are usually covering up feelings of rage and guilt related to past failures with the opposite sex. I suggest that you immediatly begin a six week course of intensive massala yoga to relieve these latent feelings.
Hahaha well your the doc, I'll take your prescription, regardless of how far from the truth you could be. Though this yoga sounds a bit painful!!
Hahaha well your the doc, I'll take your prescription, regardless of how far from the truth you could be. Though this yoga sounds a bit painful!!
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: Yes rage and guilt! Im there! So how does one get rid of rage?:wah:
Far Rider, I believe that you are a military man. Therefore I am assuming that you have access to some heavy weaponry. If that is the case, I suggest finding a safe area and blowing up some satisfyingly large object. If this is impossible, some herbal tea may also be effective if taken in the morning.
Far Rider, I believe that you are a military man. Therefore I am assuming that you have access to some heavy weaponry. If that is the case, I suggest finding a safe area and blowing up some satisfyingly large object. If this is impossible, some herbal tea may also be effective if taken in the morning.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
chrisb84uk wrote: Hahaha well your the doc, I'll take your prescription, regardless of how far from the truth you could be. Though this yoga sounds a bit painful!!
Just let the monsters go, you will feel better. If you are unable to stand the pain a Lemsip can also be useful as a short term measure.
Just let the monsters go, you will feel better. If you are unable to stand the pain a Lemsip can also be useful as a short term measure.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: Settle this argument:
Two kids, want the last piece of chocolate cake, they each have been good and have finished their meals allbiet somewhat rushed to be the first to grab that last peice of cake.. they begin to argue about who gets it.....
Ok take it from there my good man!
O.K. Firstly I would make them wash up their dishes, clean their faces, and do the 12 times table. Following this I would make them race each other around the backgarden doing 5 circuits each. The one with the fastest time will be the one to eat the cake. While they were invovled in the race, I would eat the cake, to therefore teach them about the cruelty of life. If they complain at this, they shall both be made to write a 2 page essay on their outrage at the harshness of the world, which I would subsequently burn without reading to teach them not to argue with their elders.
Two kids, want the last piece of chocolate cake, they each have been good and have finished their meals allbiet somewhat rushed to be the first to grab that last peice of cake.. they begin to argue about who gets it.....
Ok take it from there my good man!
O.K. Firstly I would make them wash up their dishes, clean their faces, and do the 12 times table. Following this I would make them race each other around the backgarden doing 5 circuits each. The one with the fastest time will be the one to eat the cake. While they were invovled in the race, I would eat the cake, to therefore teach them about the cruelty of life. If they complain at this, they shall both be made to write a 2 page essay on their outrage at the harshness of the world, which I would subsequently burn without reading to teach them not to argue with their elders.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
SnoozeControl wrote: Here's my issue:
I'm incredibly attractive, intelligent and I have an amazing gift for making people love me.
Nevermind, I'm perfect just the way I am.
Indeed, this is an obvious sign that you have an innate fear of Danish men. It may stem from an overheard conversation when you were young about houseprices in Copenhagen. The only real solution to this problem is to undertake a linguphone course in modern Danish, and to do charitable work for the nearest local Danish immigrant community. I wish you good luck.
I'm incredibly attractive, intelligent and I have an amazing gift for making people love me.
Nevermind, I'm perfect just the way I am.
Indeed, this is an obvious sign that you have an innate fear of Danish men. It may stem from an overheard conversation when you were young about houseprices in Copenhagen. The only real solution to this problem is to undertake a linguphone course in modern Danish, and to do charitable work for the nearest local Danish immigrant community. I wish you good luck.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Ok my Angst, I have this crazy desire to take your advise to Far a step further with some kind of voodoo scarcrow of some folks whom have crossed my path in life. However my real dilema, how to I get Fars arms of mass destruction across the border????
Sincerely
Minks the Mistreated
hehehehe
Sincerely
Minks the Mistreated
hehehehe
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
minks wrote: Ok my Angst, I have this crazy desire to take your advise to Far a step further with some kind of voodoo scarcrow of some folks whom have crossed my path in life. However my real dilema, how to I get Fars arms of mass destruction across the border????
Sincerely
Minks the Mistreated
hehehehe
Firstly, as a councellor, I cannot advocate using supernatural forces to gain revenge on your enemies. Though such effigies should be made of wax with a small item of the offenders clothing included. Knitting needles are very effective as a stabbing instrument in such cases.
As to how to get Far's arms across the border, unless you have military training, it would be unwise for you to attemt to use any weapaon more dangerous than a handheld catapult. Therefore I suggest the tea option.
Sincerely
Minks the Mistreated
hehehehe
Firstly, as a councellor, I cannot advocate using supernatural forces to gain revenge on your enemies. Though such effigies should be made of wax with a small item of the offenders clothing included. Knitting needles are very effective as a stabbing instrument in such cases.
As to how to get Far's arms across the border, unless you have military training, it would be unwise for you to attemt to use any weapaon more dangerous than a handheld catapult. Therefore I suggest the tea option.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: I could become an Arms dealer?:wah:
This is definetly an option for you given your background. However, I suggest that you will need some time to ingratiate yourself with the leaders of the international arms trade, and you will need to learn some extra counter-surveilance techniques to augment your existing training. A quick course in Russian, French, and Serbo Croat would also be desirable.
This is definetly an option for you given your background. However, I suggest that you will need some time to ingratiate yourself with the leaders of the international arms trade, and you will need to learn some extra counter-surveilance techniques to augment your existing training. A quick course in Russian, French, and Serbo Croat would also be desirable.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: I could become an Arms dealer?:wah:
I apologize as I forgot that you will also need a large, reliable truck, some gloves, and a pair of sunglasses.
I apologize as I forgot that you will also need a large, reliable truck, some gloves, and a pair of sunglasses.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
hmmmm well ok off to walmart to buy knitting needles then and wax for my dummies, perhaps some red paint to pour inside the figures so they gushing blood simulation satisfies my needs.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
minks wrote: hmmmm well ok off to walmart to buy knitting needles then and wax for my dummies, perhaps some red paint to pour inside the figures so they gushing blood simulation satisfies my needs.
It really would be better if you attempted the tea option first, as calling upon infernal spiritual powers to seek the destruction of others is a risky strategy.
It really would be better if you attempted the tea option first, as calling upon infernal spiritual powers to seek the destruction of others is a risky strategy.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Galbally wrote: It really would be better if you attempted the tea option first, as calling upon infernal spiritual powers to seek the destruction of others is a risky strategy.
No those just cause conflict inside my head the good voices speaking to the bad voices hehehehe
No those just cause conflict inside my head the good voices speaking to the bad voices hehehehe
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
minks wrote: No those just cause conflict inside my head the good voices speaking to the bad voices hehehehe
Oh dear, a case of demonic possession already and we're only on page 3. Firstly you need to lie down for a while in a pleasant room. A brief phonecall to a physcologist will be necessary to confirm that this is not a problem caused by bad diet. Once confirmed, you should seek the guidance of a local priest (catholic is best) and discuss your voices with him.
Under no circumstances should you watch any MTV until this problem goes away.
Oh dear, a case of demonic possession already and we're only on page 3. Firstly you need to lie down for a while in a pleasant room. A brief phonecall to a physcologist will be necessary to confirm that this is not a problem caused by bad diet. Once confirmed, you should seek the guidance of a local priest (catholic is best) and discuss your voices with him.
Under no circumstances should you watch any MTV until this problem goes away.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: I'd be a terrible arms dealer.... I'd kill all my contacts! That's gotta be bad for business!:-2
Yes this is, in most cases, an unsound business strategy. Perhaps only wounding them nonfatally could be a compromise that you could live with.
Don't forget about the sunglasses, thats very important apparently.
Yes this is, in most cases, an unsound business strategy. Perhaps only wounding them nonfatally could be a compromise that you could live with.
Don't forget about the sunglasses, thats very important apparently.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
My problem is just a little one:-
It is after six pm here and I have a mountain of housework to do, dishes to wash, ironing to do, windows to clean and dinner to make etc. I also have been given a dvd to watch. a computer game to play, a couple of cd's to listen to and a book to read. these all have to be given back in the morning. The dog is waiting to go out for her walk, I have emails to attend to and phone calls to make and my man is crashed out on the sofa holding tightly to the remote and snoring loud enough to wake the neighbours.
Oh and did I say that I need to be showered and in bed by 9pm.
Please help.
It is after six pm here and I have a mountain of housework to do, dishes to wash, ironing to do, windows to clean and dinner to make etc. I also have been given a dvd to watch. a computer game to play, a couple of cd's to listen to and a book to read. these all have to be given back in the morning. The dog is waiting to go out for her walk, I have emails to attend to and phone calls to make and my man is crashed out on the sofa holding tightly to the remote and snoring loud enough to wake the neighbours.
Oh and did I say that I need to be showered and in bed by 9pm.
Please help.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
pina wrote: My problem is just a little one:-
It is after six pm here and I have a mountain of housework to do, dishes to wash, ironing to do, windows to clean and dinner to make etc. I also have been given a dvd to watch. a computer game to play, a couple of cd's to listen to and a book to read. these all have to be given back in the morning. The dog is waiting to go out for her walk, I have emails to attend to and phone calls to make and my man is crashed out on the sofa holding tightly to the remote and snoring loud enough to wake the neighbours.
Oh and did I say that I need to be showered and in bed by 9pm.
Please help.
It is currently 5.47 pm GMT that gives us 3 hours 13 minutes. Firstly I suggest that you coerce you husband into action by refusing to sleep with him for the next 4 days unless he carries out your explicit orders. He can play the computer game while washing the windows and ironing between gaming levels. This means that first you must wash the dishes, do this in v. hot water using gloves and a minimum of washing up liquid so that you do not have to rinse. While filling the sink you should be able to order a economy meal from the local chinese, stir frys are quickest and easiset to eat. You can listen to the CD's while washing the dishes. Once this has been done, you can eject your man from the telly and watch the DVD while reading the book, just skim both (FF the DVD at the borig bits, like the story)enough to blag it tomorrow in the office, your meal will arrive during this time, eat it, don't use plates, just the plastic boxes. During this time himself can take the dog around the backgarden at least 10 times while chewing on a spring roll. I approximate that all of this will take till 8.10. At this stage, go onto your computer and do your emails, keep them all to a minimum of 2 lines, and make your phone calls on the mobile while doing so. Do not allow people to get into conversations about auntie violets' privet hedge (this is an elementary mistake). At this stage it should be 8.48 pm. Which gives you plenty of time for shower and so on. You will be in bed precisely at 9.
No Problem.
It is after six pm here and I have a mountain of housework to do, dishes to wash, ironing to do, windows to clean and dinner to make etc. I also have been given a dvd to watch. a computer game to play, a couple of cd's to listen to and a book to read. these all have to be given back in the morning. The dog is waiting to go out for her walk, I have emails to attend to and phone calls to make and my man is crashed out on the sofa holding tightly to the remote and snoring loud enough to wake the neighbours.
Oh and did I say that I need to be showered and in bed by 9pm.
Please help.
It is currently 5.47 pm GMT that gives us 3 hours 13 minutes. Firstly I suggest that you coerce you husband into action by refusing to sleep with him for the next 4 days unless he carries out your explicit orders. He can play the computer game while washing the windows and ironing between gaming levels. This means that first you must wash the dishes, do this in v. hot water using gloves and a minimum of washing up liquid so that you do not have to rinse. While filling the sink you should be able to order a economy meal from the local chinese, stir frys are quickest and easiset to eat. You can listen to the CD's while washing the dishes. Once this has been done, you can eject your man from the telly and watch the DVD while reading the book, just skim both (FF the DVD at the borig bits, like the story)enough to blag it tomorrow in the office, your meal will arrive during this time, eat it, don't use plates, just the plastic boxes. During this time himself can take the dog around the backgarden at least 10 times while chewing on a spring roll. I approximate that all of this will take till 8.10. At this stage, go onto your computer and do your emails, keep them all to a minimum of 2 lines, and make your phone calls on the mobile while doing so. Do not allow people to get into conversations about auntie violets' privet hedge (this is an elementary mistake). At this stage it should be 8.48 pm. Which gives you plenty of time for shower and so on. You will be in bed precisely at 9.
No Problem.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Wow!!!! Apart from being an hour late you did brilliant. I am an hour later than you.
We could do with your organising on some of the building sites around here,
We could do with your organising on some of the building sites around here,
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
pina wrote: Wow!!!! Apart from being an hour late you did brilliant. I am an hour later than you.
We could do with your organising on some of the building sites around here,
I apologize for my tardiness. You will have to simply watch the first 20, and last 15 minutes of the DVD while reading the first and last two chapters of your book, your man will have to talk the dog for only 5 laps but he can run faster to account for the lack of exercise. You may do everything alse as planned. You will not have time to email me for any more instructions, though you can cheat and take 3 minutes after nine to emal if the plan was sucessful. Good Luck.
We could do with your organising on some of the building sites around here,
I apologize for my tardiness. You will have to simply watch the first 20, and last 15 minutes of the DVD while reading the first and last two chapters of your book, your man will have to talk the dog for only 5 laps but he can run faster to account for the lack of exercise. You may do everything alse as planned. You will not have time to email me for any more instructions, though you can cheat and take 3 minutes after nine to emal if the plan was sucessful. Good Luck.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Should i really have had fish n chips for my tea o wise one??
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
abbey wrote: Should i really have had fish n chips for my tea o wise one??
Yes, but you should have had oven-ready chips (McCain Home Fries are very nice) and you should bake the fish. This will minimize the saturated fat levels associated with such a meal. If you do not like vegetables than you should also have placed a tomato and small onion (peeled) in the oven, they are both quite nice when baked, for nutritional purposes. If you like salt and vinegar you should use only 2 sprinkles of vinegar and one of salt to season the meal. A slice of lemon is also pleasant with the fish. You should not eat cod as this species is endangered, try Hoki or unsmoked haddock in future as they are very similar and quite nice. Drink a small glass of water with the meal in future even if you are not thirsty as this will aid digestion. Bon Appetit.
Yes, but you should have had oven-ready chips (McCain Home Fries are very nice) and you should bake the fish. This will minimize the saturated fat levels associated with such a meal. If you do not like vegetables than you should also have placed a tomato and small onion (peeled) in the oven, they are both quite nice when baked, for nutritional purposes. If you like salt and vinegar you should use only 2 sprinkles of vinegar and one of salt to season the meal. A slice of lemon is also pleasant with the fish. You should not eat cod as this species is endangered, try Hoki or unsmoked haddock in future as they are very similar and quite nice. Drink a small glass of water with the meal in future even if you are not thirsty as this will aid digestion. Bon Appetit.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
My goodness Gabally the Great, you have all the answers, ok, my next Q, whilst in England will I have time (14 days) to see all the sights everyone in FG suggested I have my good walking shoes ready, I will walk all winter long just to get in shape, heck I will run if need be. hehehe I don't wanna miss a thing.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
― Mae West
― Mae West
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
How do I overcome my fear of flying? And spiders?
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Galbally wrote: Yes, but you should have had oven-ready chips (McCain Home Fries are very nice) and you should bake the fish. This will minimize the saturated fat levels associated with such a meal. If you do not like vegetables than you should also have placed a tomato and small onion (peeled) in the oven, they are both quite nice when baked, for nutritional purposes. If you like salt and vinegar you should use only 2 sprinkles of vinegar and one of salt to season the meal. A slice of lemon is also pleasant with the fish. You should not eat cod as this species is endangered, try Hoki or unsmoked haddock in future as they are very similar and quite nice. Drink a small glass of water with the meal in future even if you are not thirsty as this will aid digestion. Bon Appetit.You forgot to mention that a tomato & peeled onion dont make you fart like mushy peas do.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
minks wrote: My goodness Gabally the Great, you have all the answers, ok, my next Q, whilst in England will I have time (14 days) to see all the sights everyone in FG suggested I have my good walking shoes ready, I will walk all winter long just to get in shape, heck I will run if need be. hehehe I don't wanna miss a thing.
Thank you I hope I am doing a professional job.
Firsty, you should spend at least 3 days in London as it has a lot of very intersting things in it. For the first 2 days you should restrict yourself to zones 1 and 2 on the underground as most of the inner city can be covered within these areas. Buy day cards on the tube as they are the most practical, you can also buy multiple tickets for the short bus trips that are necessary for your wanderings. Use the rough guide to decide what you want to see. On the 3rd day you can pick 2 specfic areas in greater London (which is very large) to visit. On the following 2 days you should pick places in southern England (the West country is V. Nice) to visit, railways are expensive and buses take a long time so consider car hire, remembering that people in Britain drive on the left and drive manuals. Spend the next day in Wales and try to get some walks in, Snowdonia is lovely. You will then have 3 days in Northern England, which has many very scenic places to visit. You now have used 9 days. Of your last 4 days I suggest Scotland for at least 3, it is very spectacular and Edinburgh is particularly beautiful. This gives you plenty of time to get back to London and chill out, for the remainder of your time.
Things you will need. A guide to britain. Money, Warm Clothes, patience, and yes some sensible, waterproof shoes. Most importantly you will need a rain hat or at least an umbrella.
P.S. Under no circumstances refer to your backside as your "fanny" in Britain, it may result in an unfortunate misunderstanding of your intentions toward the locals.
Thank you I hope I am doing a professional job.
Firsty, you should spend at least 3 days in London as it has a lot of very intersting things in it. For the first 2 days you should restrict yourself to zones 1 and 2 on the underground as most of the inner city can be covered within these areas. Buy day cards on the tube as they are the most practical, you can also buy multiple tickets for the short bus trips that are necessary for your wanderings. Use the rough guide to decide what you want to see. On the 3rd day you can pick 2 specfic areas in greater London (which is very large) to visit. On the following 2 days you should pick places in southern England (the West country is V. Nice) to visit, railways are expensive and buses take a long time so consider car hire, remembering that people in Britain drive on the left and drive manuals. Spend the next day in Wales and try to get some walks in, Snowdonia is lovely. You will then have 3 days in Northern England, which has many very scenic places to visit. You now have used 9 days. Of your last 4 days I suggest Scotland for at least 3, it is very spectacular and Edinburgh is particularly beautiful. This gives you plenty of time to get back to London and chill out, for the remainder of your time.
Things you will need. A guide to britain. Money, Warm Clothes, patience, and yes some sensible, waterproof shoes. Most importantly you will need a rain hat or at least an umbrella.
P.S. Under no circumstances refer to your backside as your "fanny" in Britain, it may result in an unfortunate misunderstanding of your intentions toward the locals.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
abbey wrote: You forgot to mention that a tomato & peeled onion dont make you fart like mushy peas do.
I thought that was common knowledge and didn't need to be reiterated.
I thought that was common knowledge and didn't need to be reiterated.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Galbally wrote:
P.S. Under no circumstances refer to your backside as your "fanny" in Britain, it may result in an unfortunate misunderstanding of your intentions toward the locals.Good sound advice there Galbally, it can be quite amusing though, hearing an American lady getting off a tour bus telling her companions that it was such a long ride her fanny's aching!
P.S. Under no circumstances refer to your backside as your "fanny" in Britain, it may result in an unfortunate misunderstanding of your intentions toward the locals.Good sound advice there Galbally, it can be quite amusing though, hearing an American lady getting off a tour bus telling her companions that it was such a long ride her fanny's aching!
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
theia wrote: How do I overcome my fear of flying? And spiders?
In the first instance you will need to buy a cheap flight simulation program for your computer, microsoft do one that includes commercial passanger jets. When you get good at that, take several actual flying lessons in a small aircraft, they are relatively inexpensive. Once you have mastered the art of flying you will feel more confident that you won't die horribly in a fireball of twisted wreckage on a runway. Do not watch any more episodes of "Lost" as this will simply increase your fears.
As for the spiders, this is simple. You are a human being, they are spiders. They are about 132 stages down the food chain from us. Despite the fact that they are elegant creatures and admittedly a small minority are dangerous (mostly in Australia on the last one), they are (compared to your average, bog standard human), complete idiots. Also native spiders have no legal protection in their respective countries, so you can confirm your power over their puny lives by killing as many as possible in the most gruesome ways imaginable to little spider brains. Other people may tut tut your behaviour, but ignore them as they can do nothing to stop you and you will feel much happier.
In the first instance you will need to buy a cheap flight simulation program for your computer, microsoft do one that includes commercial passanger jets. When you get good at that, take several actual flying lessons in a small aircraft, they are relatively inexpensive. Once you have mastered the art of flying you will feel more confident that you won't die horribly in a fireball of twisted wreckage on a runway. Do not watch any more episodes of "Lost" as this will simply increase your fears.
As for the spiders, this is simple. You are a human being, they are spiders. They are about 132 stages down the food chain from us. Despite the fact that they are elegant creatures and admittedly a small minority are dangerous (mostly in Australia on the last one), they are (compared to your average, bog standard human), complete idiots. Also native spiders have no legal protection in their respective countries, so you can confirm your power over their puny lives by killing as many as possible in the most gruesome ways imaginable to little spider brains. Other people may tut tut your behaviour, but ignore them as they can do nothing to stop you and you will feel much happier.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
I know someone who is suffering from a complete lack of empathy for all human suffering and cruel sense of humor. What can be done to help them become a nicer, caring person?
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Jives wrote: I know someone who is suffering from a complete lack of empathy for all human suffering and cruel sense of humor. What can be done to help them become a nicer, caring person?
That is easy, I would suggest that they start a thread similar to this one as it is very theraputic.
That is easy, I would suggest that they start a thread similar to this one as it is very theraputic.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
ROFL! That's a good one!:wah:
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
SnoozeControl wrote: He's got an answer for everything, even if it has no bearing on the question.
There is no need to feel any hostility toward me, I am your cyber friend. Unecessary feelings such as this are again a classic symptom of Danephobia. Do not be alarmed, it need not be a continual problem.
There is no need to feel any hostility toward me, I am your cyber friend. Unecessary feelings such as this are again a classic symptom of Danephobia. Do not be alarmed, it need not be a continual problem.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Far Rider wrote: whew..for a second there I thought you were going for the "you can eat them too" method.
I would not advise eating spiders, except in an emergency, as their little spider legs get stuck in your teeth. Also some are quite nastly little b*stards who will only pretend to be dead and then bite your gums when you try and chew them.
I would not advise eating spiders, except in an emergency, as their little spider legs get stuck in your teeth. Also some are quite nastly little b*stards who will only pretend to be dead and then bite your gums when you try and chew them.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
-
chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
Are you rerlated to the Spirit in the Garden?
*no, you're too nice for that*
*no, you're too nice for that*
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
SnoozeControl wrote: Sorry for the hostility, its just eerie how spot on you are with your diagnosis. I've always been deathly afraid of Vikings. With your help, I hope to overcome this disabling phobia.
Thank you, Doctor Galbally!:-4
I am only here to help you, I hope I am being of assistance. I am delighted that you have managed to express your irrational fears, you are undoubtedly a brave person. I have every confidence that your fear of longships, double-headed axes, and long blond beards will soon be a thing of the past.
Thank you, Doctor Galbally!:-4
I am only here to help you, I hope I am being of assistance. I am delighted that you have managed to express your irrational fears, you are undoubtedly a brave person. I have every confidence that your fear of longships, double-headed axes, and long blond beards will soon be a thing of the past.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
chonsigirl wrote: Are you rerlated to the Spirit in the Garden?
*no, you're too nice for that*
I am unaware of any relationship between myself and that individual. Thank you for thinking I am nice, however, I must remind you that I am a bit of a mouthy git (or a "smartass" in American-English) also.
*no, you're too nice for that*
I am unaware of any relationship between myself and that individual. Thank you for thinking I am nice, however, I must remind you that I am a bit of a mouthy git (or a "smartass" in American-English) also.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Galbally's Advice Column for FG.
I am boring posting reasonable things about politics, I need some problems to chew on and more importantly, laugh at, so in your own good time please.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.