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Pinky wrote: Dear Mr Galbally,

Do you think I should try and be a bit more sensible when online?


Why do you feel the need to be sensible pinky, no one else does, especially me, I say be yourself, but act within the sacred laws of the internet at all times.

SnoozeControl wrote: If I might be allowed to comment on this question?

NO!!


Your comments are noted and approved.

The Management.

Dr. Gbally --

Have you ever developed a fierce attraction to one of your patients? If so, how have you handled the situation?

Signed,

A patient who has a secret crush on you and your sense of humor :-4

SnoozeControl wrote: What an excellent topic that would be! How about an outline so I can start obeying the sacred laws? Keep in mind that I plan to have some wine tonight, so don't make it too hard to follow. :sneaky:


Well, firstly and most importantly it seems that you must make them up as circumstances dictate, for instance tonight you must drink some wine and generally enjoy yourself, wheras tomorrow you must go to work and well, work, unless you are too hungover in which case you must not go to work, but stay in bed. Its there in the U.N. Internet charter somewhere, I am too busy to look right now, and of course you must be nice to your Dr as well.

cherandbuster wrote: Dr. Gbally --

Have you ever developed a fierce attraction to one of your patients? If so, how have you handled the situation?

Signed,

A patient who has a secret crush on you and your sense of humor :-4


Yes I have been told this is a common problem with many doctors, which is natural in my case as many of female patients are cute and funny, though in their case it seems to be brought on by a high level of toxins in the blood stream that case hallucinations. In the case of the females its simple enough as having clandestine affairs with them over several months seems to reduce the symptoms until the toxins wear off, though with the male patients its more tricky, in their cases I generally refer them to the actor and keen amateur councillor Richard Gere and his psychiatic assistant "nibbles" the gerbil.

Galbally wrote: keen amateur councillor Richard Gere and his psychiatic assistant "nibbles" the gerbil.


Oh my God

That is just FABULOUS

*continues her cyber crush on Dr. Gbally*

Galbally wrote: very interesting question, I shall have to think about this.


Had to come up with my own solution. Thanks anyway. :-6

koan wrote: Had to come up with my own solution. Thanks anyway. :-6


Oh right, I was considering advising you on using a stake tipped with depleted uranium, but that would be expensive. Would you care to share how you did, if you did manage to kill the "Vamprye" as it were, your not a scriptwriter for hollywood are you? If you have managed to work out an efficient way of killing these pests efficiently it would be good to know as I could pass the information on to any of my patients who find themselves living close to portals to the realms of the undead, which is hopefully a small number of them.

Galbally wrote: Oh right, I was considering advising you on using a stake tipped with depleted uranium, but that would be expensive. Would you care to share how you did, if you did manage to kill the "Vamprye" as it were, your not a scriptwriter for hollywood are you? If you have managed to work out an efficient way of killing these pests efficiently it would be good to know as I could pass the information on to any of my patients who find themselves living close to portals to the realms of the undead, which is hopefully a small number of them.


Yes to the scriptwriter thing. It's a fun project for a friend who works on the fringes of hollywood. Unfortunately Blade took a lot of good ideas. The UV thing works well. Bombs that launch stakes, slicing their heads off in a number of manners. Props people are pretty creative too.

The uranium idea isn't bad though. Wouldn't want to waste it on a small set. Maybe a sequel?

I do think they exist, btw. Better to be prepared, regardless.

koan wrote: Yes to the scriptwriter thing. It's a fun project for a friend who works on the fringes of hollywood. Unfortunately Blade took a lot of good ideas. The UV thing works well. Bombs that launch stakes, slicing their heads off in a number of manners. Props people are pretty creative too.

The uranium idea isn't bad though. Wouldn't want to waste it on a small set. Maybe a sequel?

I do think they exist, btw. Better to be prepared, regardless.


I understand that you feel it is prudent that you prepare for possible vampire incursions in your neighbourhood, though I would suggest that it would be important to prepare for things based on the likelihood of them actually occurring. Things that spring to mind are.

Inclement weather: Rain Cheater

Flat Tire: A spare

Meeting an attractive stranger: Having your own place and contraception.

Being prepared for the coming (sorry I mean possible) re-invasion of the U.S. by British Crown Forces: Get some cucumber sandwiches prepared, and a few bottles of Pimms ready.

Job Interview: Having several paper bags filled with money.

Getting Selected for the England Soccer Squad: A good PR man

Meeting a member of an intelligent extraterristrial civilization: Work out some sort of rudimentary language that could be understood by all intelligent life forms (such as football)



There are of course any amount of contingency plans that one can make for any eventuality, most people prepare for things in terms of probability, though you can also prepare for various probabilities based on your personal preferences if this makes you happy. Though training and equiping a standing army of Vampyre hunters and their associated staff could be expensive.

well done

Attached files

koan wrote: well done


Its all part of the service.

Galbally wrote: Its all part of the service.


I've been serviced by Galbally. And I don't even know your full name. Sometimes it's better that way.

koan wrote: I've been serviced by Galbally. And I don't even know your full name. Sometimes it's better that way.


Indeed it is, you are a wise person koan. I'm pleased that you respect my professional attitude to these matters.

Dear Dr. Gal,

I've just taken note of your advice column, well actually it was 2 hours ago. That's how long it took to read through previous questions to see if you'd answered my particular problem before. No sense in making you redundant. Here it is: I have a blind date tonight and my dilemma is whether to wear my ruby red slippers to effect a 'Dorothy from Oz' appearance or my usual black leather, six-inch stiletto boots that go so well with the black lace teddy that I intend to wear. This date has not seen either. Can you advise?

Dorothy from Dallas

ArnoldLayne wrote: Ive always been a little confused at the propensity for cucumber sandwiches amongst the hoi paloi in polite company. I have a habit - although I'm never amongst such polite company too often - of eating them 3 at a time. Besides, whats wrong with the ubiquitous cheese and branston pickle doorstep


The cucumber sandwich is a often misunderstood thing, on one level it is a simple sandwich made from cucumbers (obviously), however, recent schorlarly research has shown that the judicious use of the cucumber sandwich by the ruling elite of Britain was fundamental is gaining and maintaining the British Empire, and the decline of the said empire can be almost precisely tracked along with the decline in cucumber sandwich consumption. I myself, like the odd one (which is a very un-irish trait) though I do put aromat seasoning on them, which does somewhat betray my innate barbarity. As for the cheese and branston pickle sandwich this again a noble choice of snack, and I do like one myself from time to time (along with the sandwich). Recently I have gone all continental and been experimenting with emmental and sweet mustard, a most agreeable combination I will admit. We could in fact discuss for any length of time the innumerable sandwiches that are possible, with the crisp, chip, and bacon sandwiches all being firm favorites of mine, though for those who wish to loose weight I would suggest no sandwiches, just some raw asparagus and plenty of ryvita. Enjoy.

SnoozeControl wrote: Dr Galbally,

Do you like older women about my age?


Well there is one woman from utah that I met in cyberspace.

Zapata wrote: Dear Dr. Gal,

I've just taken note of your advice column, well actually it was 2 hours ago. That's how long it took to read through previous questions to see if you'd answered my particular problem before. No sense in making you redundant. Here it is: I have a blind date tonight and my dilemma is whether to wear my ruby red slippers to effect a 'Dorothy from Oz' appearance or my usual black leather, six-inch stiletto boots that go so well with the black lace teddy that I intend to wear. This date has not seen either. Can you advise?

Dorothy from Dallas


Hello Zapata, this is urgent. Firstly i need to know what a black lace teddy is? Where I come from that could mean you intend to go out dressed as some sort of transexual bear, though I presume this is not the case. In any case, red shoes and black outfits are not always a good match in terms of taste, also you may have miscalculated in that your date would appreciate you appearing up as a character from the much loved 1930's film, usually you need a little time to get to know the person before role play become a thing that both parties become comfortable with. Though I myself would be delighted if you turned up dressed as dorothy to a blind date, or even a munchkin lady, though perhaps its better if we don't get into that. From the facts that I know I say, go with the stilletos, be friendly, but demur, and if he turns up dressed as the tin man, rethink the whole idea.

Good Luck, let me know how you get on.

Galbally wrote: if he turns up dressed as the tin man, rethink the whole idea.

Good Luck, let me know how you get on.


Dear Doc,

Thank you for the sage advice. I did not foresee the possibility of him dressing in tin, however. What if my spike heels should puncture a hole while we dance the fandango?

Dancing Dorothy

SnoozeControl wrote: I've got some Rick James going through my head right now...


Thats an interesting lyric snooze, I think that your libido is definetly functioning at maximum at the minute, which is of course healthy. As you know I am off to an Island off the west coast of Ireland tomorrow with a load of girls, so I am trying to control mine, as one is an ex so I must restrain myself under all circumstances. Fortunatly having a fractured foot is almost as effective in having a cold shower in reducing any appetite for flagrant and unrestrained "activities". But do continue to express yourself in any way you see fit as its very good for you.

Zapata wrote: Dear Doc,

Thank you for the sage advice. I did not foresee the possibility of him dressing in tin, however. What if my spike heels should puncture a hole while we dance the fandango?

Dancing Dorothy


Should that unfortunate occurence arise, you can purchase a excellent car-body repair kit for small expense at most reputable garages. Also carrying a small can of WD-40 would be good in case he seizes up an in oppotune moment. On the whole though, doing in the fandango dressed as dorothy and the tin man is again, a little extreme for the first date. I would suggest that you would limit yourselves to dinner, an exchange of phone numbers, and perhaps a little bit of kissing etc, if you are mutually attracted to each other. If you must dance, perhaps something less taxing such as a waltz or foxtrot would be more suitable, patricularly in costume as it will lessen the likihood of injury. Then again that said, experiecing a trauma together can be a hugely bonding experience between people so if you feel that throwing caution to the wind is OK then feel free to Fandango away.

Dear Dr. G,

You are so wise. No wonder you have such a fine reputation for unfailingly giving sound advice. And for someone so young too! What you said about experiencing a trauma together being fulfilling is true, as one of my most satisfying relationships was when I fell from a horse, breaking my pelvis in Costa Rica. Discretion prevents me from naming the other party. Being under the influence of mind-altering drugs helped, too.

Pinky wrote: Dear Dr. G,

I'm enquiring about being an assistant nurse...I'm good with instruments, biology is a strong point and I wouldn't scare the patients away too much in a little white dress.

What other Quals would you suggest?


Those qualities are fine for the time being, any advanced techniques can be taken on as part of your on the job training, which begins around 11.30 pm on friday nights. Uniform is required to be worn at such times. You will have to be careful around Ms Control as she is a special "patient" who requires personal assistance and is a bit possesive on occasion though understanding at other times. Anyway. I believe there is already a "rumble" in progress somewhere in relation with snooze and someone else about someone else, it all gets a little complicated sometimes round here, but not to worry, we are all just one big, happy, disfunctional family.

SnoozeControl wrote: I hate to sound psychotic, but

Get away from him, you bitch! He's mine.

Joking! I'm willing to share.


Snooze, you know that I am your faithful servant, but I reserve the right to abuse the doctor-nurse privilidge as well as the doctor-patient priviiledge, its only fair. Aren't you supposed to be in a fight with someone? You know that I cannot advocate violence, though I am rooting for you of course (though not in the australian sense of the word).

SnoozeControl wrote: I hate to sound psychotic, but

Get away from him, you bitch! He's mine.

Joking! I'm willing to share.


eeeewwww. Kinky!

That sounds like that old doctor, nurse, rassler menage a trois thing.

Zapata wrote: Dear Dr. G,

You are so wise. No wonder you have such a fine reputation for unfailingly giving sound advice. And for someone so young too! What you said about experiencing a trauma together being fulfilling is true, as one of my most satisfying relationships was when I fell from a horse, breaking my pelvis in Costa Rica. Discretion prevents me from naming the other party. Being under the influence of mind-altering drugs helped, too.


Interesting, it seems that perhaps being dorothy on a blind date with tinman doing the Fandango would not be such an uncommon experience for you then. In terms of the drugs did they help with the falling off the horse, being in Costa Rica, or getting aquainted with the young man in question? I too have had similar experiences, except thay they involved young women, no horses, and did not happen in the southern hemisphere, but nevertheless there were parallels. Thank you for your kind comments on my attempts at being a cyber councellor, it makes a nice change from the legal writs I usually recieve. Do let me know how your date went, its important that we ensure that your new possible relationship with the tin man (I'm just using that as a short hand as I do not know the young man's name, he may have no similarities to our metallic friend at all), develops in a healthy and non-bizarre manner.

SnoozeControl wrote: Last word is that I'm rassling some 300 pound woman... I'm only hoping she'll be gentle with me.


I hope for that also.

Zapata wrote: eeeewwww. Kinky!

That sounds like that old doctor, nurse, rassler menage a trois thing.


Or even "triage a trois" thing, if you know what I mean. Anyway, thats a discussion for another time, its unseemly for me to be encouraging this scandalous behaviour, thats all supposed to happen behind closed doors. Anyway, moving on.

SnoozeControl wrote: What sense is that? I think "rooting" might be sort of American, if you get my really perv meaning here... :yh_whistl


I get it alright. You scamp. You shall have to be punished in various and intriging ways for your outrageous and entertaining behaviour.

Galbally wrote: Or even "triage a trois" thing, if you know what I mean. Anyway, thats a discussion for another time, its unseemly for me to be encouraging this scandalous behaviour, thats all supposed to happen behind closed doors. Anyway, moving on.


"Triage a trois" how outstandingly astute of you, Doc. But wait, are you implying that there is a pending disaster concerning the MUD? Are you clairvoyant also?

Zapata wrote: "Triage a trois" how outstandingly astute of you, Doc. But wait, are you implying that there is a pending disaster concerning the MUD? Are you clairvoyant also?


No, I do not predict the future, and would advise you not to trust those who say that they can. Though perhaps I was being prescient. We shall have to see, anyway, its late here and I must go to bed. Goodnight.

Dr. Since you live closer to the bad guys, (terrorists) do you think you could bash their heads in for me ?

Thank you.

Dear Dr. Gal, etc., etc.

I know that you are on holiday but could you please hurry home? I am in dire need of some legal advice. And maybe you can't help me but if that is the case, perhaps you can refer me to someone who can. This problem may have international consequences.

Mz Shou

Pinky wrote: Sorry, i didn't study MUD...only MTP....It takes many years t find out what they are...


please elaborate?

Nomad wrote: Dr. Since you live closer to the bad guys, (terrorists) do you think you could bash their heads in for me ?

Thank you.


An Irishman beating up Pakistani's because of terrorism? Bernarnd Manning would love that! You wouldn't get that I know, you would have had to have grown up in Britain in the 1970's. Anyway, no, I prefer to let the police do whatever head-kicking may be involved. Its for the best.

Ok since you wont bash their heads in can you at least tell me why sneezer wont answer my pm s anymore ? Is our friendship over ? Gone kaput ? Can it be repaired ? Im not big on groveling but I could whimper a little I guess. Would that be the right direction to go or should I put my foot down and demand her friendship ? Ill abide by your advice. Thank you Dr.

Am I too hard on you ? I asked you before if I should ease up, should I ? If I go too far with the teasing you have to let me know. Im not rigid. I can bend. I tease you because I adore you but I dont want to offend you either. Talk to me ! Im easy.