Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Monkey's in absolute elation

With his stellar vacation

Away from 'Big Blue'

In a room with a view

With a cooler FULL of libation


So Monkey is starting in space?

As a part of his Grail race?

I'll come see him off,

My hat I will doff,

Now I can trash all my mace!!!

(fly away . . . .)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

If you'd like to check his rocket

He'd like a place to dock it

He's an expert pilot

Handels it while it

Comes rocketing out of his pocket

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: If you'd like to check his rocket

He'd like a place to dock it

He's an expert pilot

Handels it while it

Comes rocketing out of his pocket


Miss Monkey has seen his wee rocket,

She said it won't work in her socket,

I know that she lies,

About Monkey's size,

I could care less where he docks it.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Now 4rum will you please explain,

I'd just like to ascertain,

Exactly what "pocket"

Will hold this lil "rocket"

I hear it will enter tain.



(got any extras??):lips:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Now 4rum will you please explain,

I'd just like to ascertain,

Exactly what "pocket"

Will hold this lil "rocket"

I hear it will enter tain.



(got any extras??):lips:


If the tain you refer to is poon

Then yes it would enter soon

His rocket you bet

Will cool your jets

And orbit 'round your "full moon"
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: If the tain you refer to is poon

Then yes it would enter soon

His rocket you bet

Will cool your jets

And orbit 'round your "full moon"


Listen up 4rum!!

I

don't

want

Monkey's

Rocket:-5
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Sorry if all that inquiring

I mistook for your desiring

I get confused

If verbally abused

But monkey's not retiring
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Sorry if all that inquiring

I mistook for your desiring

I get confused

If verbally abused

But monkey's not retiring


4rum sometimes you are thick!

I don't want a Monkey wick,

With you I would play

I hope that you'll stay

Send monkey away now--quick.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey is orbiting Mars,

Miss Monkey is out in the bars,

The twins are west,

On their own quest,

Let's you and I gaze at the stars!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Alas my sweet 4rum is tired,

For limericks he seems uninspired,

What can I do?

To motivate you?

I'll dew what ever's desired.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

It's monkey that helps sustain us

Though his actions are usually heanous

Like him or not

He's our best shot

Without him you're left on Uranus
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: It's monkey that helps sustain us

Though his actions are usually heanous

Like him or not

He's our best shot

Without him you're left on Uranus


Oh well. . . .

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

I think monkey's up for a race

Think you can keep the pace

Yes indeedy

He's pretty speedy

He usually wins first place

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

A worthy opponant was tuff,

I finally found one with guff,

His name is Munk,

He's a little bit punk.

But I think he has all the right stuff.

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Oh well. . . .


You challenged monkey on your scooter

Didn't know you were a recruiter

But monkey's no chicken

He'll give Munk a lickin'

And Munk will be left licking his tooter
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: You challenged monkey on your scooter

Didn't know you were a recruiter

But monkey's no chicken

He'll give Munk a lickin'

And Munk will be left licking his tooter




THAT was NOT moi!! This is moi!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: THAT was NOT moi!! This is moi!!


Like a monkey on a mission

He loves the competition

Race for drinks

Race for pinks

He's waiting for your decision

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

well well well, how long did it take to find THAT picture?
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Like a monkey on a mission

He loves the competition

Race for drinks

Race for pinks

He's waiting for your decision


I don't race for pinks or for drinks,

I won't race with M cause he stinks,

He's nasty and crude,

Obnoxious and rude,

But Munk will race him methinks!!

:driving:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I don't race for pinks or for drinks,

I won't race with M cause he stinks,

He's nasty and crude,

Obnoxious and rude,

But Munk will race him methinks!!

:driving:


punk...er... Munk? is so terribly outclassed

He couldn't even come in LAST

Monkey may not impress you

At least he don't eat his poo

Better leash your poochy fast
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss M and the twins came to town,

They heard there's a race going down,

So come all and see,

Admission is free,

The winner will take home the crown.

Attached files
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum 4rum wherefore art thou 4rum??

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: 4rum 4rum wherefore art thou 4rum??


In school... learning how to kill bugs..............humanely ♥
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Miss M and the twins came to town,

They heard there's a race going down,

So come all and see,

Admission is free,

The winner will take home the crown.


Well monkey is certainly down

But he doesn't monkey around

When choosing prizes

What catches his eyes is

Farther down than the crown

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

While Monkey was feasting his eyes,

Munk went home with first prize,

But Monkey's been busy,

With big breasted Lizzie,

Sometimes it's all about size!

:D
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: While Monkey was feasting his eyes,

Munk went home with first prize,

But Monkey's been busy,

With big breasted Lizzie,

Sometimes it's all about size!

:D


Munk chose his prize, Monkey chose his

Winning isn't all that it seems it is

Munk sought treasure

Monkey sought pleasure

Which is happier? not my biz!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Someone please call 911,

Monkey had way too much fun,

He ran out of air,

Between Lizzie's pair,

Those boobies must weigh a ton!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My 4rum is such a delight,

He's charming and witty and bright,

I'll give him a kiss,

I shant be remiss,

Just come to my garden tonight!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: My 4rum is such a delight,

He's charming and witty and bright,

I'll give him a kiss,

I shant be remiss,

Just come to my garden tonight!


In slivered silver moonlit beams

We'll mingle amidst the misty streams

And laid to heart

Their magic impart

The power to grant our dearest dreams

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Someone please call 911,

Monkey had way too much fun,

He ran out of air,

Between Lizzie's pair,

Those boobies must weigh a ton!


Monkey saw shock and awe

Huge HOOTERS in the raw

She was tuff

In the buff

He'll never forget what he saw

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Awww -- was he a little bit wrecked?

What the hell'd he expect?

He wanted pleasure,

Rather than treasue,

He's brain damaged now I expect!!

(you know. . . from lack of oxygen??)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Awww -- was he a little bit wrecked?

What the hell'd he expect?

He wanted pleasure,

Rather than treasue,

He's brain damaged now I expect!!

(you know. . . from lack of oxygen??)


Of oxygen there WAS a lack

Unconscious everything went black

But for her surfiet

It was certainly worh it

HOT DANG!!! what a rac!!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's brain is recouperating

Yet he refuses rehabilitating

That boob overload

His fears overrode

He found it most tit'illating
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey got home from LA,

Her surgerie's, done she's OK

She's proud as can be,

Of her double Ds,

She's planning an "unveiling" soiree!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Well THAT should be quite a show

I'll be waiting with interest you know

Double D's might be scary

If she leaves 'em hairy

I do hope she'll shave them though
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Hairy, she won't let them be,

She can be quite prissy you see,

She'll dress them up pretty,

And if you are witty,

She could let you pet them -- maybe!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Fondle, pet or pat

Don't think I want none of that

Purple and pink?

Clashes I think

Ms. M traded tit for tat???
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Fondle, pet or pat

Don't think I want none of that

Purple and pink?

Clashes I think

Ms. M traded tit for tat???


4rum sweetheart. . . THOSE were for Monkey!!

You may have MINE. . .:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Oh well then I'll certainly take 'em

You won't even have to shake 'em

Just let me at 'em

I'll pet an' pat 'em

And I promise not to break 'em
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is working at Hooters,

Where she has lots of suitors,

She swivels her hips,

And purses her lips,

The guys ain't seen anything cuter!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Oh well then I'll certainly take 'em

You won't even have to shake 'em

Just let me at 'em

I'll pet an' pat 'em

And I promise not to break 'em


My boobies are not made of glass,

You need not worry your @$$,

I doubt if they'll break,

As they are not fake,

Some whip cream would surely add class!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Boobies topped with whip cream

Sounds like a gourmet's dream

There IS one better topping

On top I'll be dropping

For a culinary delight supreme:yh_drool
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Whatever would go with whipped cream?

Some cherries, some chocolate ice cream?

So what have you got?

Would I like it a lot?

I hope it won't make me scream!!

(on second thought. . . )
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Whatever would go with whipped cream?

Some cherries, some chocolate ice cream?

So what have you got?

Would I like it a lot?

I hope it won't make me scream!!

(on second thought. . . )


I'm sure you'd love whipped cream's wiggle

And probably delight in gelatin's jiggle

I know not

If you'd like what I got

I just hope it don't make you giggle :(
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: I'm sure you'd love whipped cream's wiggle

And probably delight in gelatin's jiggle

I know not

If you'd like what I got

I just hope it don't make you giggle :(


Are you forgetting I've seen a pictures??

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4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

NO and I haven't forgotten that crack about getting them enlarged either!!! :mad:
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: NO and I haven't forgotten that crack about getting them enlarged either!!! :mad:


I do not remember that crack.

You're not at all out of wack,

You're perfect as is,

You're my special wiz,

You don't have a single drawback.

(well, maybe the snoring. . . .):wah:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Oh I'm never out of 'whack'

I keep 'it' by the 'sack'

Long as my whackin'

Don't leave you lackin'

I reckon we're right on track :p
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Oh I'm never out of 'whack'

I keep 'it' by the 'sack'

Long as my whackin'

Don't leave you lackin'

I reckon we're right on track :p




I certainly never do lack

No matter how often you wack

Don't over exert,

I don't want you hurt,

Now, lets get back on the track!

:D

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey has donned her bikini,

Put something in Monkey's martini,

That booze had some clout,

He nearly passed out,

But she had a great time with his weenie!

:-6
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