Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I hear that there's a gamin'

One that there's no shamin'

I'll dance with you Sir,

Will you make me purr?

Unless you think I need tamin'


To tame you is not my goal

Tame would be too droll

It's not our style

A little rye'll

Liven up your soul
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

That bottle of rye

Monkey guzzled it bye.

He drank it too fast

Monkey asleep at last.
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

chonsigirl wrote: That bottle of rye

Monkey guzzled it bye.

He drank it too fast

Monkey asleep at last.


And so he lay in drunken stupor

Sound asleep, a party pooper

Partied out

Crashed no doubt

Blessing on thee, little trooper

..................monkey says 'nite ya'll... thanks for the wonderful party... see ya tomorrow :yh_monkey
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkeys up and feelin' groggy

His little head is kinda foggy

Did he sleep with chonisgirl

Or was he on the tilt-a whirl

Left him shook and spent and soggy
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

If Monkey slept with Chonsigirl,

He will think he's Duke of Irl,

Please don't tell her,

Of this error,

Or she'll surely want to hurl.

:lips:
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: To tame you is not my goal

Tame would be too droll

It's not our style

A little rye'll

Liven up your soul


Let's see if I have this right?

To ply me with rye, you might?

Hang on to YOUR knickers,

This girl likes her lickers,

She'll keep you "up" all night!

(how's that for naughty?)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Let's see if I have this right?

To ply me with rye, you might?

Hang on to YOUR knickers,

This girl likes her lickers,

She'll keep you "up" all night!

(how's that for naughty?)


Why....it's the epitome of naughty

But not the least bit haughty

I offer liquor

You proffer lick'er

And you certainly have the body............woo hoo..........hubba,hubba..........

......................pant, pant, pant :yh_drool
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Hey.......monkey can stand on his head

Hop like a head-O-ped

Upright or inverted

His tummy's extroverted

That's why his butt's so red
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

His rear so dear

We see quite clear

The imprint of them boots

No wonder monkey hoots!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Why....it's the epitome of naughty

But not the least bit haughty

I offer liquor

You proffer lick'er

And you certainly have the body............woo hoo..........hubba,hubba..........

......................pant, pant, pant :yh_drool


You certainly are flirtatious,

Your advances are most tenacious,

I like when you're panting,

I'ts downright enchanting,

Lucky for you I'm salacious!!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

[QUOTE=chonsigirl]His rear so dear

We see quite clear

The imprint of them boots

No wonder monkey hoots![/QU



To Chonsi I say congrats!

For kicking that Monkey's ass,

Your boot made him smart,

On his hinder part,

Now he's not so quick to sass!
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

heh, heh, heh, monkey is watching YOU

He's got your number too

When you least expect

Expect to get decked

With a big shot of monkey poo:cool:
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Putting on protective gear

Monkey think's her fur to smear.

Watch out Monkey, in all that muck,

Ooops, he fell in it-lot's of luck!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha wrote: You certainly are flirtatious,

Your advances are most tenacious,

I like when you're panting,

I'ts downright enchanting,

Lucky for you I'm salacious!!


So, who had to look up the words on this one? come on. . . fess up!!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

So Monkey is imbued in poo,

He's proud to be wearing it too,

He has a good reason

To wear poo this season,

For Sue, with the new blue tatoo!
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Tattoo has a smear

Monkey sheds a tear.

Wash it all clear

Sue rides on his rear!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's a little confused

Why is he so meanly used

He offered parties

But all you smarties

Offer him back abuse
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

It seems Monkey ran out of cash,

He spent everything from his stash,

He now needs a job,

Can he be someone's BOB?

I hope he don't do nothin' rash!
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Monkey threw poo

And wonders now, boo hoo.

Girls want nice things,

Not stuff that you fling.
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: It seems Monkey ran out of cash,

He spent everything from his stash,

He now needs a job,

Can he be someone's BOB?

I hope he don't do nothin' rash!


hmmmm... a message straight from your heart

Ol' monkey can sure play that part

No money no honey

If you give him nonehe

Will swing with another tart
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

You draw monkey toward YOUR standard

You've frowned each time he has wandered

But listen folks

It's just for jokes

His antics WILL NOT be pandered
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

If monkey gets too big for his britches

There's always branches for switches

Whip his behind

But leave his mind

It fills some much needed niches

................................I'm saving 'sons o b*tches' for when it gets deep :yh_rotfl
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Space between the words

Monkey knows cannot be heard.

Monkey rhyme we always sing,

Monkey always our sweet thing.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: hmmmm... a message straight from your heart

Ol' monkey can sure play that part

No money no honey

If you give him nonehe

Will swing with another tart


Since Monkey is always so randy,

I thought he could be someone's dandy,

He'd do the "wild thing"

And cash it would bring,

At least for something he's handy.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha is looking for romance,

She's on her way over to France,

She'll find a cafe,

And wait for a day,

For someone to make an advance!
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Monkey will cry

If you get a guy.

Monkey better look good

And put on a tie!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

chonsigirl wrote: Monkey will cry

If you get a guy.

Monkey better look good

And put on a tie!


I know monkey shouldn't be jealous

Sometimes he's just overzealous

But he likes you all

Thinks each is a doll

If you'd like a hug just tellus
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Samantha is looking for romance,

She's on her way over to France,

She'll find a cafe,

And wait for a day,

For someone to make an advance!


No need to wait for advancement

And France is not ample enhancement

Your wonder worldwide

I hold deep inside

So total is my enchantment:yh_flower
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's not much into money

He's more naughty and funny

A laugh is his 'bling'

Chuckles 'ka-ching'

He's peeping on Pam in the dunny
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Well monkey has called for a wrecker

Crashed driving a double decker

He should have knowed

To keep his eyes on the road

Instead of watching his p*ck*r
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Well monkey was feeling frisky

Though he knew that it was risky

Tried to feel

Samantha's appeal

Didn't know she was takin' a............monkey was feeling frisky................
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Well monkey has called for a wrecker

Crashed driving a double decker

He should have knowed

To keep his eyes on the road

Instead of watching his p*ck*r


"Monkey" is just an extension,

Of man's most noble "intention,"

He just wrecked a bus,

So what's all the fuss?

His willie just needs some attention.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: No need to wait for advancement

And France is not ample enhancement

Your wonder worldwide

I hold deep inside

So total is my enchantment:yh_flower


Samantha is starting to blush,

Such sentiments give her a rush,

You kindle her fires,

And light her desires,

On 4Rum she sure has a crush!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Awww...c'mon now sweetie an' hush

Such attention makes my heart gush

So sweet are your words

The sweetest I've heard

You've turned ol, 4rum to mush :yh_blush
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum:

I think we both better quit,

We'll give these nice people a fit,

They'll think that we're sappy,

When we are so happy,

It's just that we're both full of whit!!

(almost put the "s" word in there but. . . .. thought better of it)

:rolleyes:
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

So...........this is how it all ends.............sob

Sigh.......................you want to be just good friends....sniffle

I've heard it before

So just ignore

The sound of my heart as it rends..............:yh_cry



...........MUUUUWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA AAA AAA AAA ... A

aw, man...I should get an oscar for that one!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I'll give you an oscar alright!

Now quit being so darn contrite,

We've Monkeys to tend,

Your heart will not rend,

We STILL have our date for tonight!
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Monkey cheesecake

For Oscar picks

Sam waits him to show up

No more tricks!

If he doesn't tow the line

Sam no more will want to whine

Other monkey hunks like that girl

*poor six, he wants to hurl*



:wah:
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Guess monkeys an' liquor don't mix

'Cause drunken monkeys are pr*x

Unruly and hateful

Always unfaithful

They smoke, drink and party for kix :yh_monkey
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Party for a kiss

From monkey girls

Natural way

To make head swirl.

:)
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

chonsigirl wrote: Party for a kiss

From monkey girls

Natural way

To make head swirl.

:)


Should monkey leave you for another

You might call up his other brother

He's a little more refined

Seldom scratches his behind

'Course he does still live with mother
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Mama's boy

No fun girl toy

I'm taking you out,

No more monkey pout.

:)
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Guess monkeys an' liquor don't mix

'Cause drunken monkeys are pr*x

Unruly and hateful

Always unfaithful

They smoke, drink and party for kix :yh_monkey


Monkey went out on a bender,

In search of the opposite gender,

He tried to maligne,

A fat porcupine,

Now he looks like he's been in a blender!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

He was frustrated and in confusion

He was suffering a gender illusion

Blender my a$$

Monkey could pass

For a well used furry pin cushion
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

chonsigirl wrote: Mama's boy

No fun girl toy

I'm taking you out,

No more monkey pout.

:)


Monkey would be right proud

To show you off to the crowd

Dinner and dancing

A little romancing

That is, if that's allowed?
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

A night on the town,

Monkey no more frown.

Smile on his furry face

AS we dance all over the place.
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Mombo, tango or even limbo

A$$holes and elbows all akimbo

Shake that ever lovin booty

Drinks with parasols so fruity

Show ol' monkey that you're no bimbo
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chonsigirl
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Monkey

Post by chonsigirl »

Grabbing monkey paw to dance

Chonsi shakes him into a trance.

Monkey's eyes light up and glow

Shake it as we monkey disco.
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey came back from the doc,

The news that she had was a shock,

A baby is due,

Do not misconstrue,

That Monkey's the dad is NO crock!
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey had DNA tested,

To ascertain that she's infested,

That Monkey's the dad,

Will he run away mad?

If he does--she'll have him arrested.
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