Galbally's Advice Column for FG.

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abbey
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Post by abbey »

Galbally, you are so cool. :-4
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Post by Galbally »

Hamster wrote: Great! sign here!!! :D


Unfortunatly the contract (which I signed with a very nice fella with cloven hoves and a pitchfork) clearly states that I am by due right the sole beneficiary of any human misery and suffering encountered in this high-class councelling office. Though it is at my discretion to dole out such funds as would warrent special "favours" from time to time, its all there in the small print etc etc, totally above board, and legal and all that, honest.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



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Post by Galbally »

abbey wrote: Galbally, you are so cool. :-4


Please abbey, try to keep to the questions while the patients are watching. :lips:
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by abbey »

Galbally wrote: Please abbey, try to keep to the questions while the patients are watching. :lips:So sorry doc, that was unprofessional of me. :o
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Post by Galbally »

ArnoldLayne wrote: I was going to suggest to him that it might be because of the Heisenberg un-certainty principle but I wasnt sure.

I'm willing to have my mass measured but I'm buggered if I'm gonna let anyone double it. That would cause a temporal wave shift in itself.

I have bought and sent him a small wrist sundial that should keep accurate time providing he keeps Betelgeuse at a range of 6,000,000 light years and just within his periferal vision. The gravitational pull of a red giant has a nasty habit of casting unpredictable shadows, the likes of which were investigated by the Pheloosian Time Lords, only last tuesday. The Pheloosians were the first to experience such shadow distortions while navigating the Avenue of Suns, an attractive cul-de-sac of planets, lined on either side with an arrangement of stars of varying age. It is said to be particularly spectacular in autumn, though Arnold has yet to witness it, having spent the last seven years bumming around the Delta Quadrant


I am sure that everyone respects your tactfulness in such matters and of course having yourself mass-measured can be traumatic, of course I was not suggesting that your own body weight would be responsible for the doubling, simply it requires that we add the anti-arnold's mass to your own which would be exactly the same figure (hence the doubling).

As for the Pheloosians I am impressed with your knowledge, I am sure that the MOD would be interested if there are any security implications for the home counties, though apparently they do have an alleged "time lord" working for them in an advisory capacity. I am glad that the sun dial idea is working out for the anti-arnold and I'm sure that he can recieve advice from local astronomers regarding the positions of various red-giant stars if they are giving him cause for worry, I would remind him that november is a time for meteroites which generally are seen in the direction of the Pleideies star cluster in the northern hemisphere, perhaps a visit to a local planetarium would be informative for him, again I would refrain from telling any local authorities about any past difficulites that we have overcome, such as the stoning of local children, blacklisting of foreign clerics, unauthorized falconry etc as it might cause......complications.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Galbally, how do you think I should get over a completely stupid crush that I've had for ages:? The person in question obviously doesn't think the same of me as I think of them....what do I do?


Well, I was going to go to bed, but now that I've seen the question I had better answer it as it would be unfair to leave you waiting. This is a very common problem of course, and i myself have experienced the unrequited love experience also. Firstly I need to ask, are you sure that this person actually knows that you like them, often people are oblivious to others feelings about them, especially men for some reason. If they are not, then it would be a good idea that you use a third party to discretely inform the object of your desire you are interested, you seem like an intelligent attractive girl, so you have as good a chance as any in getting a response.

If however you are quite sure that he is not interested then you should harden your heart and remove yourself from the game, as unrequited feelings are very hurtful, and as you well know, you can't make someone care by feeling sad. The most effective way of doing this is to find someone as quickly as possible who is superior to the original love interest and then poke malicious fun at the first one's inadequacy, its shallow, but what the hell, it will get you through the rough patch.

On a lighter note, if this person is a member of a historical re-enactment society, that provides you with an excellent oppotunuity to bash him good with a dangerous weapon and get away with it. I don't recommend that its a moral course of action to use violence to make yourself feel better, but it is an option.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Thanks for the advicemate, i will take most of it apart from bashing the said person with me swordl....I don't fancy being in prison for a while, haha!


Its all about plausible deniability, but of course, of course, bashing him good is an outrageous suggestion, the little f"@^^%!er.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: LMAO!!! I'd love to, but I won't of course!

It's heartening jst to know there are nice people out there.

Nice people like you:-4


You flatter me with your kind words, and I'm glad that you can see through my attempts to incite you to violence and see the sensitive, empathic, even tragic and misunderstood soul that I am.

If it was me, I'd still bash him good though. :lips:
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Don't get me wong, I'm still tempted:thinking:

You? tragic? misunderstood? Noooo! Not possible, you being the lovely bright light that you are. :-6


Stop, stop I give up, you are too nice, my attempts at sardonic humour are useless against you. Seriously, its getting so late I will start to halluncinate soon, and I will have to visit myself for advice. I can see by your ability to charm me, that you will have no problem in finding another love interest in the near future. I think we have made real progress here, you will have them eating out of your hands in no time. :)
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Nomad »

12,372 hits !!!

Has icon-dom changed you ?
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Post by cherandbuster »

SnoozeControl wrote: He's got his own fan club now. ;)


I'm in it.

I've got the baseball card with his picture on it, the t-shirt, mug and my favorite: the Membership Card with the Doctor a la natural :thinking: :guitarist
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Post by cherandbuster »

Pinky wrote: Hehe, we can be the Galballyettes:D

So far there's me, Cher and Snoozie...there must be more of us, lol!


The Galballyettes

I love it!!

And what would be the privileges of membership? :thinking: :-6
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Post by Galbally »

Nomad wrote: 12,372 hits !!!

Has icon-dom changed you ?


Yes, completely. I am now absolutely conceited and self-important, or at least much more than I used to be. I have decided that I should now start giving interviews about my dietary habits, invite MTV round to me house, drive a hybrid car, marry a vacuous starlet, be patronizing to people in the third world, and release my own brand Eau de Colonge, in your honour nomad I will call it "Galballs" a scent for men.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by cherandbuster »

Galbally wrote: I will call it "Galballs" a scent for men.


That's FABULOUS Dr. G!

Now can't you see why you have The Galballyettes? :-4
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Post by Galbally »

SnoozeControl wrote: He's got his own fan club now. ;)


This is a troubling development, I forsee terrible trouble when the media get hold of my financial records.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by cherandbuster »

Galbally wrote: This is a troubling development, I forsee terrible trouble when the media get hold of my financial records.


DR. G

Let the media get hold of the financial records

The Gallballyettes will get hold of everything else :guitarist
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Post by Galbally »

cherandbuster wrote: I'm in it.

I've got the baseball card with his picture on it, the t-shirt, mug and my favorite: the Membership Card with the Doctor a la natural :thinking: :guitarist


I must find out how sold the rights to these items, though of course I am glad that you have them. :wah:
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Hehe, we can be the Galballyettes:D

So far there's me, Cher and Snoozie...there must be more of us, lol!


I would certainly settle for the 3 of you, any more would be greedy, though of course the councelling service is open to both sexes and is not just a cheap excuse for me to chat up women, I must put that up on the wall somewhere, maybe beside that councelling diploma I got from the online, completely above board, real, university of modern cyber councelling etc etc. :thinking:
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

cherandbuster wrote: DR. G

Let the media get hold of the financial records

The Gallballyettes will get hold of everything else :guitarist


Please, your enthusiasm is to be admired, but I will need to be physically unrestrained if I am to give out any useful advice.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

None of us ever doubted your motives for a second, did we girls?

Especially when you have those fab certificates on the wall over there...although why is that one written in felt tip?:D

So, do you have many years of experience Dr G?


Experience? Oh god yeah, plenty.

Oh you mean councelling experience, well when did I start this column? About that long I would say. As far as I am aware I have not been sued yet, so it seems to be going well enough, though some of my advice has led to civil unrest in Basingstoke, and Gary Indiana, as well as obviously that unfortunate incident with arnold's doppleganger, and well there was Far Rider's entry into the world of illicit arms sales, snooze got involved with a biker gang, erm and I did advice someone to try and kill simon cowell and the conway sisters, but apart from those minor problems its going reasonably well I think.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Nomad »

Galbally wrote: Yes, completely. I am now absolutely conceited and self-important, or at least much more than I used to be. I have decided that I should now start giving interviews about my dietary habits, invite MTV round to me house, drive a hybrid car, marry a vacuous starlet, be patronizing to people in the third world, and release my own brand Eau de Colonge, in your honour nomad I will call it "Galballs" a scent for men.




I dont think the really fat cats are driving hybrids Dr Gallbladder but your a trendsetter have at it.

Have the Bond people contacted you yet ?

I think Scarlett Johannsen is available. Esquire is calling her the sexiest woman alive. I might take issue with that but hey what do I know ?
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Post by Galbally »

I must pop out now, my dog needs a walk, so please remain calm and don't set fire to anything.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Nomad wrote: I dont think the really fat cats are driving hybrids Dr Gallbladder but your a trendsetter have at it.

Have the Bond people contacted you yet ?

I think Scarlett Johannsen is available. Esquire is calling her the sexiest woman alive. I might take issue with that but hey what do I know ?


I have written to Lexus, demanding a new 06 hybrid SUV becuase of my celebrity status, which I want helicoptered to my driveway.

I have recieved no word from the producers of the Bond franchise as yet, but I expect to be cast in the role of Q once they respond. I also want Arnold to be M, and Jimbo to play bond. You will play the supervillian "Nomad" head of nomad enterprises that is developing a new lipstick that will destroy civilization, added by the super-vixen SnoozeControl. Cheranbuster will be Bonds first love interest, but she will unfortunatly be eliminated by your Latvian henchman and fashion guru Accountable. Pinky will then be the second bond girl. I will call the movie, Liscence to Pout, it will be a worldwide hit with many cosmetic franchise opportunities.

I would certainly ask Mrs Johanssen out for a pint in my local, but I would prefer Kirsten Dunst, if she is available, I will try and arrange that Hello magazine are waiting in the toilets to take some photo's, though nof of the toliets as they need to be cleaned.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Well, seeing as you have such excellent credentials, I'll ask you about my next conundrum...(anyone that gets Snooze to join a biker gang is tops!:D )

I'm going to visit my good friend Hamster in just over a week, but I have no idea what I will need to take with me!

Obviously the usual stuff like toothbrush, etc etc....

Should I take her some beer or wine? Do I take going out stuff with me or just go casual? Boots or shoes?

Also, bearing in mind this is me and Hammy we're talking about...how do I avoid getting arrested while I'm there?


I shall ponder your dilema on my walk down the river.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Nomad »

Galbally wrote: I have written to Lexus, demanding a new 06 hybrid SUV becuase of my celebrity status, which I want helicoptered to my driveway.



I have recieved no word from the producers of the Bond franchise as yet, but I expect to be cast in the role of Q once they respond. I also want Arnold to be M, and Jimbo to play bond. You will play the supervillian "Nomad" head of nomad enterprises that is developing a new lipstick that will destroy civilization, added by the super-vixen SnoozeControl. Cheranbuster will be Bonds first love interest, but she will unfortunatly be eliminated by your Latvian henchman and fashion guru Accountable. Pinky will then be the second bond girl. I will call the movie, Liscence to Pout, it will be a worldwide hit with many cosmetic franchise opportunities.



I would certainly ask Mrs Johanssen out for a pint in my local, but I would prefer Kirsten Dunst, if she is available, I will try and arrange that Hello magazine are waiting in the toilets to take some photo's, though nof of the toliets as they need to be cleaned.










An evil lipstick magnate....I like it, I like it a lot.

May I suggest Q orianka Filcher as a future Bond girl ?

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Post by cherandbuster »

Since Pinky is the geographically closest Gallballyette to the lovely Dr. G, perhaps she needs to take a field trip to Ireland :-4

only as a representative of the Gallballyettes, of course :rolleyes:
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Post by Nomad »

The Bond girls never get to drive the boat. :rolleyes: Man.......
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Post by cherandbuster »

Pinky wrote: Ooh, Cher! Maybe I should...ya know...just to do the interviews and pics for the latest fanzine, lol! Galbally could show me his etchings - I mean certificates:yh_giggle


Pinky

The Gallballyettes Club is a little low on funds right now

so instead of booking a room for yourself at a nearby hotel

perhaps Dr. G would be able to put you up for a night or two in his castle :-6
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Post by Galbally »

Nomad wrote: An evil lipstick magnate....I like it, I like it a lot.

May I suggest Q orianka Filcher as a future Bond girl ?




If you like her, we can fit her in somewhere between the other two, after all Bond does get around a bit.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

cherandbuster wrote: Since Pinky is the geographically closest Gallballyette to the lovely Dr. G, perhaps she needs to take a field trip to Ireland :-4

only as a representative of the Gallballyettes, of course :rolleyes:


Interesting.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Ooh, Cher! Maybe I should...ya know...just to do the interviews and pics for the latest fanzine, lol! Galbally could show me his etchings - I mean certificates:yh_giggle


My etchings are currently in storage before a brief tour of museum toilets across Europe during which they will be exhibited. Its not a great gig, but oh well, everyone has to start somewhere.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

cherandbuster wrote: Pinky

The Gallballyettes Club is a little low on funds right now

so instead of booking a room for yourself at a nearby hotel

perhaps Dr. G would be able to put you up for a night or two in his castle :-6


Yes, yes my castle, of course of course, I have a castle, I mean we all do right? Its being deloused though at the minute, so my ditch will have to do, I could make it comfy though, some cushions etc.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: So you mean you're not going to show me them?:(

*sulk*


In your case, a private audience can be arranged of course by appointment, now about that hampster visit. You should bring beer and wine just to be on the safe side, along with some lettuce, a carrot, and one of the roll things that hampster can run around in after the telly. If you are staying for a while then of course some nice day clothes and some shoes for walking and an umbrella, oh and some board games if you are bored. If you are planning on a naughty girls weekend during which time completely innocently you meet some handsome men, you should bring some glam clothes, a camera, and a passport in case you are whisked off your feet to Tuscany or some other romantic location by a devil-may-care gad about town, you never know. Oh and bring the cat suit, cause I like that idea. And tell Hampster I said a big hello.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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Post by Galbally »

Pinky wrote: Blimey, has Galbally gone on a hike around Ireland?:confused: :D


Actually I ended up going for a long drive and going to Mullagvenhy wood, which is on the site of an ancient hill fort that is overgrown now, I think you would have liked it, as you are into your history.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"



Le Rochefoucauld.



"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."



My dad 1986.
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