Some cute one Liners

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:35 am

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"

The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet."

A certain man had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's job to set the table. But when it came time to eat, Joey's mother said with surprise, "Why didn't you give Mrs. Brown a knife and fork dear?". "I didn't think I needed to," Joey explained, "I heard Daddy say she always eats like a horse."

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold," ........ At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.

"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.

We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."

The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"

A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was President."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked: "What happened to the flea?"

A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma.

Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?"

The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.

"Toilette pepper!"

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:45 am

jimbo;949501 wrote: good ones chezzer the second one looks like a hot link to me talk about power abuse :wah::wah:

only joking people i have zero idea what a hotlink is no need to pm me i dont want to know as i will never understand your explanations anyway i'm only going to do stuff i write myself now just in case :rolleyes::rolleyes:

But your not bitter:D

p.s. If you want I could find you a suitable sig and put it on my photobucket account and send you the link...Oh the fun I could have:D

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:51 am

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:58 am

Yes it was a hotlink but ive saved it to my photobucket so now it isnt and you can use it:D

When you save it to your pc, the tip is not to then copy and paste the link of that pic, you have to use a picture hosting site or use the manage files on FG:D

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:18 am

Its not to make life easier its to stop TS getting into bother lol, its classed as theft cos it costs the place you took the pic money for you to put it on your post. If you use photobucket for eg or up it on your pc and then attach the pic using manage files it wont...Its dead simple honest:wah:

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:20 am

I use this one on another forum, its my fav:-4

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:25 am

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:32 am

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:33 am

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:34 am

jimbo;949512 wrote: so i copy it to my desk top ,then load it onto photo bucket ,then copy and paste it on fg ...... seems like going around all the houses instead of jumping the fence if you ask me that will take ages just to do the same thing

but if it makes the job of the mods easier then their wish is my command :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Once you've copied it to your desktop why load it to Photobucket?

Just use manage attachments to add it to your post.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:36 am

Bryn Mawr;949520 wrote: Once you've copied it to your desktop why load it to Photobucket?

Just use manage attachments to add it to your post.

you cant do that for signatures Bryn and also the manage attachments does shrink the pic which sometimes is a pain and also if you save it on photobucket, its there till you delete it and saves you cluttering up your hard drive.

Manage attachments is great for one offs though

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:02 am

jimbo;949512 wrote: so i copy it to my desk top ,then load it onto photo bucket ,then copy and paste it on fg ...... seems like going around all the houses instead of jumping the fence if you ask me that will take ages just to do the same thing

but if it makes the job of the mods easier then their wish is my command :rolleyes::rolleyes:I fink I love you:-4:D

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:51 am

Chezzie;949521 wrote: you cant do that for signatures Bryn and also the manage attachments does shrink the pic which sometimes is a pain and also if you save it on photobucket, its there till you delete it and saves you cluttering up your hard drive.

Manage attachments is great for one offs though

What's a signature? :wah:

I always thought putting up a thumbnail was an advantage - you can always click on it to see it full size.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:53 am

bryn Mawr;949786 wrote: what's A Signature? :wah:

I Always Thought Putting Up A Thumbnail Was An Advantage - You Can Always Click On It To See It Full Size.

:d:d:d