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General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

i cannot recall if we have ever done this before....tell all your most intimate 2947 friends here at FG the most embarrassing thing you ever did! remember, we don't actually know your name and address! well, er, i do. :D ...come on, TELL!!
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Peg
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Post by Peg »

I got caught parking by the cops when I was 17. Thankfully, they didn't embarrass me further by calling my parents.
lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

flopstock wrote: Ummm, just curious....in case anyone else wants to know...we need to keep this PG rated right?



:rolleyes:it seems we are allowed R rated material! ............."Just For The Fun Of It General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below".
jasmund
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Post by jasmund »

I CANT beleive I am about to share this.

When fiance and I had started dating once we went parking down a dirt road, just kissing etc. Well anyway it was dark and all of a sudden, yep, COPS!

Flashlight in the face. They were cracking up because I had no shirt on and, they had busted the pharmacist who fills their prescriptions(yep my fiance and boss)

-in short the cop that busted us is our neighbor.

-I still cant look at him without cracking up, that was 6 years ago.
lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

well so far it all involves cops! LOL
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Peg
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Post by Peg »

lady cop wrote: well so far it all involves cops! LOL
A cops job is to embarrass people?:wah:
lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

Far Rider wrote: um *looks to the floor*.... I took my pants off in a pub once! hahahahahhaaonce????? :wah: hey that's ok, business picked up a lot!
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mominiowa
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Post by mominiowa »

This is simple........I farted- sophmore year - Lit Class........Sitting by the hottie of 10th grade..He made me laugh and I laughed so hard.....ooops - I farted.......I wanted to die! He said he would never tell anyone - cuz I looked like I would cry....and he didn't--I don't think LOL


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
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mominiowa
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Post by mominiowa »

:yh_rotfl :yh_doh :yh_rotfl .........


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
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theia
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Post by theia »

Friend from years ago turning up unexpectedly at my door, looking gorgeous, equally gorgeous bloke in tow. Me? Well, having a "chill" day - unbathed, teeth unbrushed and hair doing its own thing, wildly and witch-like. Also wearing the tackiest, oldest, scruffiest excuse for a dressing gown ever.

And they actually said it was "nice" to see me??
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

ok, here goes.

nope. can't do it. Gotta stop at the pub first. Get me some "liquid courage"

I'll be back:driving:


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

My worst ?

Cant, wont, couldnt, shouldnt, never will.

I do have one though.

I lived in an apt. that had a back door just outside the bedroom. It was about 3 am and I woke to the sound of keys in the lock, I was startled because I wasnt expecting my girlfriend. But it had to be her who else had keys ? No one..................WRONG !

I was naked all over and got up to open the door for her but it wasnt her.

It was the girlfriend of the previous tenant, she still had keys and they never changed the locks.

So Im standing there in front of this girl Id never seen naked and she was drunk but to my dismay it didnt even occur to me to invite her in till she was gone.

:-1
I AM AWESOME MAN
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

Nomad wrote: ...but to my dismay it didnt even occur to me to invite her in till she was gone.

:-1
so you are embarassed that you didn't invite her in, or that you stood there and carried on a conversation with a drunk girl, naked??


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

At 1st I was embarrassed because I wasnt expecting that then later it would fall into the category of stupidity !
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

flopstock wrote: sounds more stupid then embarrassing to me..

but it was nice to at least meet ya, anyways:p
*gasp* No, D! say it ain't so!!


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BTS
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Post by BTS »

flopstock wrote: Ummm, just curious....in case anyone else wants to know...we need to keep this PG rated right?



:rolleyes:


LC said R rated............ we're waiting ........
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
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BTS
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Post by BTS »

flopstock wrote: All I have to say on the subject, is that in the not too distant past , while at a cookout at a friend of my guys, we wander off to have a private conversation off towards the woods...my ears got chilly, so my head went under the blanket...when i came up for air...people had apparently come looking for us...I'm sure they totally misunderstood... and I refuse to go to cookouts anymore...:lips:


Oh me o my......... can't refuse this one...................













Was it a weinie roast?
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BTS wrote:





Was it a weinie roast?
damn, you beat me to it!!:sneaky:


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

HA!:wah:


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

ok. y'all ready now?

here goes

Iowa State Fair. really big deal in po-dunk Iowa. every year they have the newest farm equipment on display from all the manufacturers. JD, New Holland, CaseIH, Cat.

so early one morning the gal i was dating(i was 19, she was 20) went to the fair to beat the rush.

now at the display all the machinery is unlocked and open to the public. so she and i crawled into the biggest, roommiest JohnDeere combine and went to town.

the security guards waited until we finished before stepping in. I must have done something right because as she and I stepped out, the 4 guards and the display attendant were applauding.

We were banned from the Fair for 5 years.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

you bet'cha!!!


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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valerie
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Post by valerie »

For the newbies, anyway!



I was all dressed up and riding my horse in the parade. Big parade, sunny

day, crowd lining the sidewalks. You get the picture. Well, I had a boy horse,

and he had to pee. So he did. Boy horses stretch out to pee, and they pee

A LOT. Bad enough, but it got worse. You know how roads are "crowned"

a little bit for run-off purposes, well this boy horse pee started heading towards

the side of the road, where approx. half a ZILLION little kids were sitting on the

curb with their feet in the gutter. Boy horse pee comes toward them, much

jumping up and running and screaming ensued.



What'd I do? Pulled my cowboy hat down over my face, of course!!



(At least it wasn't in front of the judge's stand!!!)



Especially for Wolverine:

(Dennis Linde)



They were farm kids way down in Dixie

They met in high school in the sixties

Everyone knew it was love from the start

One July in the midnight hour

He climbed up on the water tower

Stood on the rail and painted a 10ft heart

In John Deere green



On a hot summer night

He wrote Billy Bob loves Charlene

In letters 3ft high

And the whole town said that he should have used red

But it looked good to Charlene

In John Deere green



They settled down on 80 acres

Raising sweet corn,kids and tomato's

They went together like a hand and a glove

On a clear day from their front yard

If you look and know what to look for

Off to the east you can still read his words of love

In John Deere green



Now more then once the town has discovered

Painting over it ain't no use

There ain't no paint in the world that'll cover it

The heart keeps showing through

In John Deere green



Ahh,paint it green boy

In John Deere green







John Deere green













Tamsen's Dogster Page

http://www.dogster.com/?27525



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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

Wolverine wrote: ok. y'all ready now?

here goes

Iowa State Fair. really big deal in po-dunk Iowa. every year they have the newest farm equipment on display from all the manufacturers. JD, New Holland, CaseIH, Cat.

so early one morning the gal i was dating(i was 19, she was 20) went to the fair to beat the rush.

now at the display all the machinery is unlocked and open to the public. so she and i crawled into the biggest, roommiest JohnDeere combine and went to town.

the security guards waited until we finished before stepping in. I must have done something right because as she and I stepped out, the 4 guards and the display attendant were applauding.

We were banned from the Fair for 5 years.




Is that really so wrong ?





I think not !





The punishment exceeded the crime.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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minks
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Post by minks »

ok mine too involves cops, wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back in my teens after a summer party a bunch of us decided to go to the local outdoor pool, hop the fence and skinny dip. We had a few beers with us and were having fun until the cops came. They waltzed up to the fence and told us to get out of the pool. Oh goodie us all with no clothing on They told us to come to the fence and talk to them, so we quickly got out and headed for our clothing and in very very commanding voices the pr***s told us to get over to talk to them NOW!!! yep so there we were at the fence buck nekid trying to cover ourselves in front of these jerks as they lectured us. Next nite my bro went and did the same thing and again cops caught them, and my brilliant brother had to ask "hey aren't you the same guys that busted my sister last nite"

UGH!!
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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mominiowa
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Post by mominiowa »

VAl- After that song came out some one actually did paint a huge heart in John Deere Green on the Adel Water Tower........LOL Got to love that song!


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
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