Why do we Love Children?

[scholle-kid]

WHY DO WE LOVE CHILDREN?



1) NUDITY



I was driving with my three young children one warm summer

evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood

up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from

the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,

'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'





2) OPINIONS



On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his

teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The

opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those

of his parents.'



3) KETCHUP



A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her

4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy

can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.

She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY



A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the

women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst

into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for

cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,

'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a

little boy before?'





5) POLICE # 1



While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary

school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years

old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are

you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the

report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask

the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's

right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as

she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie

my shoe?'





6) POLICE # 2



It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in

front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9

partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring

in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he

asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the

boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.

Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'





7) ELDERLY



While working for an organization that delivers lunches to

elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on

my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the

various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,

walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a

pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself

for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned

and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe

this!'



8) DRESS-UP



A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.

When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,

'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'

'And why not, darling?'

'You know that it always gives you a headache the next

morning.'



9) DEATH



While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,

our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly

made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and

his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper

burial should be performed, they had secured a small box

and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the

disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate

prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of

what he thought his father always said:

'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn,

and into the hole he-goooes.'



10) SCHOOL



A little girl had just finished her first week of school.

'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her

mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they

won't let me talk!'



11) BIBLE



A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated

as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something

fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked

at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in

between the pages.

'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.

'What have you got there, dear?'

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he

answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!

[Accountable]

:yh_rotfl #9 made me spit my coffee. :wah: