Can't Stand It Anymore

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu May 15, 2008 7:33 am

Its been five months since I've known this guy and we've known each other cuz we have the same class together. Two or three months into the relationship he asked me out, at that time, the best answer I thought I could give him was "yes and no". Yes because I like him, no because my parents and friends disapprove of him. I also didn't want to reach into another relationship. The following week, the two of us, just me and him went to the mall and hung out together. We held hands and everything was great. A week or two later after that, he said I'm not ready for a relationship yet, let's just be friends. He would also sweet talk me calling me babe and sweetie and his girl and his boo, that "I'm confident that when the time is right we will date". And I think to myself what the hell is this? I thought that we could go out and hang out around school walking each other to class and I was crushed. Is he leading me on? I talked to all my friends about it, they all told me that he's not worth it, but I don't know how to let him go. I've put in so much effort into making this relationship work. I would go to his class and wait for him to get out of class, call him up, email me everythings on me and now I don't know anymore. He rarely calls me, emails me and rarely looks for me on campus, I'm the one to do all that. He's also saying that he's heard rumors about me having a boyfriend, that I'm pregnant, that I have a baby, that I'm in rehab from one of his friends and its all not true. I deny it everytime he brings it up in front of me too. Yesterday I got mad at him and he assumed that I got mad at him cuz those rumors are true, but I'm mad cuz it got under my skin, and I said "I don't ****en care. I don't know that mother****er (the person that supposedly spread those rumors about me) so leave me alone), and I almost always has my temper under control and I won't cuss like that in front of anybody. The only time that he shows that he cares about me is when I'm mad at him and he would immediately send me back an email or like the other day call me back and make up with me, telling me that he was only joking, that I'm taking this too seriously. I don't think that I can stand having someone as a friend or boyfriend who believes all those rumors about me, its so insulting and degrading, he should know me better than that, but he keeps denying it. He keeps saying "No, you know what, I don't know that." Why won't he believe me when I tell him over and over again that those rumors are not true, anyone who knows me could tell him that. Only him and my parents could make me this mad. Is he making all this up to push me away? It just pisses me off so much that he thinks of me like that! And he says that he cares about me and likes me as a friend too. He also says that I'm too good for him. So then why did I end up making up with him letting him hold my hands, wrapping his arms around me? He also treat me like crap talking to other people in front of me as if I'm not there? He also talk to random girls around campus while I'm not there. He also smokes, drinks (hard liquor), is a party boy, either a gangster or wanna be gangster. I'm sick and tired of this. I'm also taking five classes and working part-time, I'm thinking if he's REALLY leading me on, I don't need to deal with this. Oh yeah he also said that I was leading him on, what do you guys think of that? What's a girl to do? I really need some advice please tell me what to do.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu May 15, 2008 8:16 am

Drop him. He's messing with your head.

I appreciate that at the moment it feels like the most important thing in the world but actually it isn't. He sounds very immature and will make you steadily more and more unhappy.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu May 15, 2008 8:18 am

Clodhopper;866267 wrote: Drop him. He's messing with your head.

I appreciate that at the moment it feels like the most important thing in the world but actually it isn't. He sounds very immature and will make you steadily more and more unhappy.

Totally agree. From the sounds of it, he's loving being in control over you. Dump him honey, he ain't worth it.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu May 15, 2008 8:19 am

"The days of our lives" "As the world turns"

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu May 15, 2008 8:19 am

Yes I agree with Clods, If hes acting so badly before you have even entered a relationship properly, imagine how badly he could treat you during one. Dont give him the satisfaction, walk away, head held high and find yourself a hottie with a personality and good manners, then give him my number :wah::-6 (joke!)

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu May 15, 2008 9:01 am

Not boyfriend material

Do not focus on this guy anymore - move on

you can stay civil - on speaking terms - this guy wants to date/see others

and keep you around just in case the other relationships don't work out..

Just stay friends - move on - and things are OK

Good Luck

Patsy

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu May 15, 2008 9:54 am

As your name implys "you're a strong girl" and besides what is your intuition saying?

Post by **jones jones** » Thu May 15, 2008 10:11 am

dump the dude honey ... he's using every excuse in the book cos he doesn't have the guts to tell YOU he isn't interested!

:-4

Jj

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Post by **Dewey2Me1MoThyme** » Thu May 15, 2008 10:50 am

strongirl56;866183 wrote: Its been five months since I've known this guy and we've known each other cuz we have the same class together. Two or three months into the relationship he asked me out, at that time, the best answer I thought I could give him was "yes and no". Yes because I like him, no because my parents and friends disapprove of him. I also didn't want to reach into another relationship. The following week, the two of us, just me and him went to the mall and hung out together. We held hands and everything was great. A week or two later after that, he said I'm not ready for a relationship yet, let's just be friends. He would also sweet talk me calling me babe and sweetie and his girl and his boo, that "I'm confident that when the time is right we will date". And I think to myself what the hell is this? I thought that we could go out and hang out around school walking each other to class and I was crushed. Is he leading me on? I talked to all my friends about it, they all told me that he's not worth it, but I don't know how to let him go. I've put in so much effort into making this relationship work. I would go to his class and wait for him to get out of class, call him up, email me everythings on me and now I don't know anymore. He rarely calls me, emails me and rarely looks for me on campus, I'm the one to do all that. He's also saying that he's heard rumors about me having a boyfriend, that I'm pregnant, that I have a baby, that I'm in rehab from one of his friends and its all not true. I deny it everytime he brings it up in front of me too. Yesterday I got mad at him and he assumed that I got mad at him cuz those rumors are true, but I'm mad cuz it got under my skin, and I said "I don't ****en care. I don't know that mother****er (the person that supposedly spread those rumors about me) so leave me alone), and I almost always has my temper under control and I won't cuss like that in front of anybody. The only time that he shows that he cares about me is when I'm mad at him and he would immediately send me back an email or like the other day call me back and make up with me, telling me that he was only joking, that I'm taking this too seriously. I don't think that I can stand having someone as a friend or boyfriend who believes all those rumors about me, its so insulting and degrading, he should know me better than that, but he keeps denying it. He keeps saying "No, you know what, I don't know that." Why won't he believe me when I tell him over and over again that those rumors are not true, anyone who knows me could tell him that. Only him and my parents could make me this mad. Is he making all this up to push me away? It just pisses me off so much that he thinks of me like that! And he says that he cares about me and likes me as a friend too. He also says that I'm too good for him. So then why did I end up making up with him letting him hold my hands, wrapping his arms around me? He also treat me like crap talking to other people in front of me as if I'm not there? He also talk to random girls around campus while I'm not there. He also smokes, drinks (hard liquor), is a party boy, either a gangster or wanna be gangster. I'm sick and tired of this. I'm also taking five classes and working part-time, I'm thinking if he's REALLY leading me on, I don't need to deal with this. Oh yeah he also said that I was leading him on, what do you guys think of that? What's a girl to do? I really need some advice please tell me what to do.

I think you'll find your answer in your own words, read the last part from "He also smokes" you already know the answer, you just have to convince yourself you know it. Sounds to me like he is eating away at what security you already had. I agree with you and all the previous posters. As JJ said, dump the dude.

Dew

"Anything worth dewing is worth dewing well"

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Fri May 16, 2008 8:46 am

Hey guys its time for an update. A lots happened between me and that guy in the past few days and I've finally decided on what I'm going to do with him. But first I would like to say thanks to everyone for your advice even though it doesn't leaves me a strain a hope that me and him would work out one day but I guess since my name is strongirl I CAN and I WILL get over him. Jj thanks I really appreciate what you said at first I was pissed cuz you said that but who knows it might be true. It might be that he likes me as only a friend and nothing more. On wednesday morning I figured out where his first class was and I waited for him to get out of class once again then right after he got out I walked him to the tutoring center well kind of but halfway he met up with one of his friends and I was in a hurry to go to the library to meet up with one of my friends so I just left. After I hung out with my friend I went to the tutoring center to see him before I went to class, I didn't want to go, but he don't like it when I skip class, so he dragged me off to class. Along the way we met up with one of our friends, I talk with her for a bit and he went back to the tutoring center. My friend could tell that I like him and she say I should focus all my attention in school. The next day I skipped my first class to talk on the phone coincidentially he saw me, so I got off the phone, I dropped my stuff at the tutoring center with him, so I could run some errands. At noon I walked him to his class. In the morning I have a stat class during break I went to the tutoring center to sign up for a tutor and to see him. Once I got out of that class I went back cuz I needed tutoring and he said you're popping up in front of me too much and thats scaring me you know that right? So then I made a vow to myself that I'll never wait for him after his classes end, never call him again, never email him again, and just see him on campus if I bump into him.

Post by **jones jones** » Fri May 16, 2008 11:00 am

So then I made a vow to myself that I'll never wait for him after his classes end, never call him again, never email him again, and just see him on campus if I bump into him.[/QUOTE]

good girl! your doing the right thing sweetheart! Trust me .. i'm a guy and i know how guys minds work ... womens too!

Jj:-4

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Fri May 16, 2008 9:48 pm

jones jones;867526 wrote: So then I made a vow to myself that I'll never wait for him after his classes end, never call him again, never email him again, and just see him on campus if I bump into him.

good girl! your doing the right thing sweetheart! Trust me .. i'm a guy and i know how guys minds work ... womens too!

Jj:-4

It would be nice to have a boyfriend like you. Someone who knows how guys think and how girls think. You single? I highly doubt that.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat May 17, 2008 12:17 am

Ha Ha jj thinks he knows womens minds but I have yet to meet a man who does.

Dump the dude sweetie he is not worth it. Next time dont chase let them do the chasing ...so much more fun....good luck :-4

Post by **jones jones** » Sat May 17, 2008 8:42 am

kayleneaussie;867970 wrote: Ha Ha jj thinks he knows womens minds but I have yet to meet a man who does.

Dump the dude sweetie he is not worth it. Next time dont chase let them do the chasing ...so much more fun....good luck :-4

thats only cos you haven't been officially introduced to ol Jj darling ...

i am the chosen ... the one who knows!

mwaaaaaaaaaah!!!:-4

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Wed May 21, 2008 9:30 pm

Time for another update guys. The last couple of days has been really tough on me and when those days come, it is when I want to contact him (the guy that I'm supposed to dump the most). In fact it was only yesterday that I called his home phone (since he dont have a cell phone), he didnt pick the phone, somebody else did. When that person asked me who was asking for him, I just hung up the phone, I thought to myself I couldnt let him know that I called him, but in the end I did (well if he read the blog on my myspace, he would know). I've accidentally plagarized one of my papers and the teacher caught me twice, once its cuz I didnt cite my sources and the other time its cuz I didnt pick in any quotes where I'm supposed to. I'm forgetting to put quotes on stuff I'm supposed to now and I've never had that problem before how weird. Just because of that, I might fail that class and if I do, it's going to me my first F in college

In addition to that I got a C on my statistics midterm and one of my papers. I cant wait til school is over. Also I've also gotta sign up for my classes and I've gotta figure out what classes to take and thats always a hussle. When am I gonna get a bachelor's degree, I'm so clueless and lost about so many things right now. I wonder if all this is going to be easier for me to handle if I have a boyfriend. If thats true, then its too bad that I dont have one. I've had three boyfriends in the past and it makes me sad :-1 that I'm no longer with them (even though its all my fault

) At the same time, I'm glad that I've still got all the happy memories that I've shared with all three of them

. I know that I can do this, strongirl56 CAN and WILL pull herself up from the bootstraps and charge through life, breaking down the barriers, trying to be as happy as can be. It feels like I'm on a roller roaster right now, having my feelings going up and down (sometimes I could hide everything and act like everythings fine when its not while other times I would sit there and stare into spare brooding and worrying about everything) , and I dont even know why, its crazy. I know that I have all you people on forum garden to be there for me, all my friends, my parents, and god to be there for me, so I'm gonna be fine right?

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu May 22, 2008 6:25 pm

Alright guys I'm back again and this time this updates BIG. I've did my part to grant his wishes no contacting him, and not look for him around school, but now this!

Its been a week since I've seen the guy that all you guys adviced me to dump but when I saw him again today I couldnt say no to his face. and we ended up taking the same bus and bart together from school. Along the way he would rather talk to this random girl he just met then talk to me and ask me how I've been doing. On the bus he already told me not to get mad at him but I was thinking to myself already how the hell could I not? At the bart station he forgot all about me as soon as he saw two of his friends. How the **** was I supposed to feel?:-1 I was so mad at him. I'm already having a bad time in life already and I was hoping that he would make me feel better but now hes acting like I'm completely invisible just as before if not worse. What is he thinking? It's not like he's looking for a girlfriend he told me himself that he's not ready for a relationship that all he wants to do is focus on school unless hes lying to me. Is he bitter that I turn him down to be his girlfriend is this his way of revenge, is this his way of payback? :-5

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu May 22, 2008 6:53 pm

Why do you insist on putting yourself thru this.??

If you don't want to be his girlfriend - and he doesn't want a relationship then WHY????

And this last episode at BART - why didn't you go up to these friends and introduce yourself ? Be assertive / strong - If you insist on being around him than don't be a wall flower.

If you want to play this game - pretend nothing bothers you - Don't ever let him know your mad or upset.. he owes you nothing - you owe him nothing.

He has no manners - No one taught him how to treat a female and he obviously hasn't had enough experience to figure it out..?

You want him to respect you - stop wining..

I'm not trying to make you mad - don't make him a priority or special

Don't allow what he does or doesn't do to upset you. Fake it - smile

OR JUST DROP HIM ALTOGETHER

Patsy

Post by **jones jones** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:27 pm

Is he bitter that I turn him down to be his girlfriend is this his way of revenge, is this his way of payback?

noooooooooooo!

its his way of showing you what a jerk he really is!

patsy is giving you good advice ... listen to her and drop him!!!

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:25 am

Anyone interested in an update???????

Even though I'm stressed out and overworked, I refuse to give up. I am not a quitter. I'm sure that I'll probably fail one of my classes and yet I'm staying doing the rest of the assignments for the rest of that class. I'm so frustrated and worried about my grades that sometimes I feel like giving up, but I know that giving up is never the answer to anything. I know that I have tons of people behind me supporting me and thats all I need. It's only been a couple of days since I've seen that guy and I hope that I won't see him anytime soon or better yet for the rest of this quarter. I just want to get over him and forget about him as soon as possible. I can't handle him and handle being stressed out and overworked and being frustrated and worried about my grades all at the same time.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:44 am

Well after having gone through a lot with my exams at college I can safely say, that it really is not worth failing or giving up on it especially for this guy. I mean on one hand you have this guy who is giving you all these signals that to many of us aren't good ones and even though you still have some feelings for him it seems, he is still happy messing you around and clearly treating you like dirt.

Then you have your exams which would decide you future and can help path the way for whatever life has to offer in the future. At one point I really messed up my exams, and trust me you only end up regretting it later.

So when you compare which is more important or deserves the full attention, I think that's easy to work out. All I suggest to do is give 100% commitment and effort into your work, and carry on your life without this guy, and should you cross each other's paths, just say hi, and little more, because otherwise he will start leading you estray on a path that may seem fine now, but believe me you will only regret later!!

Oh and keep staying strong and believe in yourself, even during hard times with work or family, I find a positive outlook and a smile will help! :-6

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:18 pm

strongirl56;866183 wrote: Its been five months since I've known this guy and we've known each other cuz we have the same class together. Two or three months into the relationship he asked me out, at that time, the best answer I thought I could give him was "yes and no". Yes because I like him, no because my parents and friends disapprove of him. I also didn't want to reach into another relationship. The following week, the two of us, just me and him went to the mall and hung out together. We held hands and everything was great. A week or two later after that, he said I'm not ready for a relationship yet, let's just be friends. He would also sweet talk me calling me babe and sweetie and his girl and his boo, that "I'm confident that when the time is right we will date". And I think to myself what the hell is this? I thought that we could go out and hang out around school walking each other to class and I was crushed. Is he leading me on? I talked to all my friends about it, they all told me that he's not worth it, but I don't know how to let him go. I've put in so much effort into making this relationship work. I would go to his class and wait for him to get out of class, call him up, email me everythings on me and now I don't know anymore. He rarely calls me, emails me and rarely looks for me on campus, I'm the one to do all that. He's also saying that he's heard rumors about me having a boyfriend, that I'm pregnant, that I have a baby, that I'm in rehab from one of his friends and its all not true. I deny it everytime he brings it up in front of me too. Yesterday I got mad at him and he assumed that I got mad at him cuz those rumors are true, but I'm mad cuz it got under my skin, and I said "I don't ****en care. I don't know that mother****er (the person that supposedly spread those rumors about me) so leave me alone), and I almost always has my temper under control and I won't cuss like that in front of anybody. The only time that he shows that he cares about me is when I'm mad at him and he would immediately send me back an email or like the other day call me back and make up with me, telling me that he was only joking, that I'm taking this too seriously. I don't think that I can stand having someone as a friend or boyfriend who believes all those rumors about me, its so insulting and degrading, he should know me better than that, but he keeps denying it. He keeps saying "No, you know what, I don't know that." Why won't he believe me when I tell him over and over again that those rumors are not true, anyone who knows me could tell him that. Only him and my parents could make me this mad. Is he making all this up to push me away? It just pisses me off so much that he thinks of me like that! And he says that he cares about me and likes me as a friend too. He also says that I'm too good for him. So then why did I end up making up with him letting him hold my hands, wrapping his arms around me? He also treat me like crap talking to other people in front of me as if I'm not there? He also talk to random girls around campus while I'm not there. He also smokes, drinks (hard liquor), is a party boy, either a gangster or wanna be gangster. I'm sick and tired of this. I'm also taking five classes and working part-time, I'm thinking if he's REALLY leading me on, I don't need to deal with this. Oh yeah he also said that I was leading him on, what do you guys think of that? What's a girl to do? I really need some advice please tell me what to do.

I just read this for the first time, and didn't read the other responses before posting mine....please listen to me and listen to me good!!

RUN....RUNNNNNN far away from him and DON'T look back! Take it from someone that has been there honey....he is a piece of poop!!

I will tell you right now, NO-one started rumors, he's a piece of crap person who is messing with your mind...don't give him a second thought and go apply yourself to your classes and your job.

Please DON'T ever let a guy tell you that he thinks less of you than you are, without you snubbing your nose in the air!! Don't call him, email him or even look at that scumbag again!!

Yes, I sound like your Momma!! and I'm talking in my "Mommy voice" to you, I don't want you to be hurt my sweet one! please take my advice and others to heart!

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Wed May 28, 2008 9:34 am

Heres a quick update guys I dont have a lot of time to write this but I have to get it off my chest. Today morning I got a voicemail from my first ex-boyfriend, in the voicemail, he said, "pick up the phone you stupid bitch." It was me that broke up with him but it was him who took my virginity against my will so what chance did I have but to break up with him. He always has a new girlfriend so why the hell is he still bothering me for? I'm already overworked and overstressed and I still gotta deal with jerks like my first ex-boyfriend and this guy whos treating me like crap what the hell? So frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so yeah my second ex-boyfriend is verbally and physically harrassing/abusing my best friend/friend. He has accused her of cheating on him when she's not. She's only talking to other guys whats so wrong about that? It don't mean that shes treating on him right? Guys are such jerks. :-5

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Wed May 28, 2008 12:18 pm

I assure you that not all guys are jerks, just some.

Also if this first boyfriend of yours is harrassing you or anyone else for that matter, than can't you just tell the police or at least someone. I mean otherwise they are going to keep on at it, if not you to other girls, and put them through the same torture you've had. Besides taking virginity against your concent as far as I'm concerned is rape, and certainly shouldn't just be left alone or ignored.

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Wed May 28, 2008 4:11 pm

Hi everyone I finally got a chance to talk things out with the guy that I like about last Thursday, now I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing, but at least I got to let some steam off of my chest and it felt good. I told him I wanted to talk things out and he thought I was gonna start an argument and I just said straight out, no I want to talk things out. The first time was when he asked someone who was smoking for a cigarette and I just walked away, he knew that I was mad at him, instead of coming after me, he stayed where he was. After I calmed down a bit, I went to him and I told him what I expected him to do and why I got mad at him. I told him that I'm still mad at him about last Thursday and I told him why (I told him I got so mad at you cuz I was overstressed and overworked and you are making jokes like that, and you werent paying any attention to me) and he apologized to me. He said "I'm sorry sweetie for doing that to you." We held hands for a bit too. He did joke around with me which got me to being mad at him though. The second time around we were on the bus and he pissed me off (he told me to keep him on track to help him quit smoking and I said to him thats what I've been doing since I met you and he said you wanted me to quit smoking cuz you dont like guy thats smoke not cuz you care about me and I said both but he doesnt believe me) so I moved seats, eventually he waved me back to sit next to him. I know that I shouldn't be hanging out with him cuz nothing could come out of us, my parents would never accept him into the family. He liked me cuz I'm smart and he told me that out of all the girls, he'll most likely do something with me, what is that supposed to mean? He also told me that he doesnt know how to show affection for somebody. He's also got a cell phone number now but he didnt give it to me because its pointless, cuz he barely use it to talk on the phone in the morning, he use it for text messaging. Also cuz he know that if I call him and he dont pick up, I'll get mad at him for it, which is so true. I guess I shouldnt mind that cuz I know that I probably wont call him that much anywayz. I told him that I dont think he can stand me, that he cant stand talking to me for more than five minutes and he denied it all, he said I was putting words into his mouth. I told him again that I think that he doesnt care about me cuz he doesnt act like he does and he once again told me that he does care about me. Also relationships are so complicated, I dont think I ever want to get into one. My friend, she is in an abusive relationship, her boyfriend hits her, physically broke her laptop, got mad at her and then two hours later he said "I miss you" and all that, and they dont have a place to live, I as her friend tells her to break up with him, she then got all defensive and said "You're not my mother dont tell me what to do", I said "I'm only saying that for your own good dude", she said "Maybe it'll get better". From what shes told me, theres no trust, honesty and communication in that relationship, why does she want still want to stay in a relationship like that? Will love be enough to keep their relationship strong? I mean that is all I really see working for her and my boyfriend right now. Everything is so messed up right now. Theres too much for me to worry about. :-5

Trunk Monkey · Post by **Trunk Monkey** » Sat May 31, 2008 11:19 am

strongirl56: Please don't get mad and I really care about you but.....you seem love starved to me. Do you not get the love and attention you need from your parents? You can't "make" someone love you by stalking them and being "in their face" all the time. Love will find you when you least expect it. You don't have to search for it, it will come to YOU. This one is for you:

Finding True Love

Finding true love isn't always easy.

we always look and look and look...

usually we look in all the wrong places,

in all the wrong people.

finding true love is sometimes difficult.

Crying,

Broken hearts

and being misled is what happens at times.

You go through so many relationships

thinking that they're the one.

but no, it doesn't happen quick.

It wont be your first nor your second.

It takes time to find it.

but i learned, not to search for love.

true love will find me.

So finding love is useless,

because eventually,

it will come looking for you.

Always About Love

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:44 am

I am very much afraid you are doing to yourself what you say your friend is doing to herself by staying in the abusive relationship. YOU are in an abusive relationship. Nothing anyone on this thread has said has made you see this. Just like your friend, you are saying, "Maybe it will get better."

It won't.

Bur I suspect, like most of us, you'll have to fall flat on your face to see that.

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:48 pm

Well I dont know if me being his friend just saying hi to him around campus and hanging out with him would mean that me and him are in an abusive relationship. I do mind when he would talk to other girls while hes walking next to me most of the time or for that matter all the time. Today I saw him (his back was toward me)and I could have walked right past him but instead I had to go say hi. He then walk me off to class, along the way he talked to others girls instead of me most of the day and that got on my nerves. Then he talked to me for a bit then he asked someone if he could buy a cigarette from them, and I kept on walking and he was said "I'll holler at you later" and then walked in the opposite direction.

ilona17 · Post by **ilona17** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:44 am

strongirl56;880248 wrote: Well I dont know if me being his friend just saying hi to him around campus and hanging out with him would mean that me and him are in an abusive relationship. I do mind when he would talk to other girls while hes walking next to me most of the time or for that matter all the time. Today I saw him (his back was toward me)and I could have walked right past him but instead I had to go say hi. He then walk me off to class, along the way he talked to others girls instead of me most of the day and that got on my nerves. Then he talked to me for a bit then he asked someone if he could buy a cigarette from them, and I kept on walking and he was said "I'll holler at you later" and then walked in the opposite direction.

Why even be friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about your feelings or respect you.

He's not worth even being a friend with.

Your name says strong girl but your clearly not strong enough to tell him where to go.

He's making you look like a fool and you're letting him do it, talking to other girls and ignoring you are even alive etc.

Why would you go up to him all the time, if he's so desperate to talk to you he would make an effort.

Just find some better people to hang around/be friends with.

He's clearly not worth your time at all.

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:01 am

Yesterday I found out something very interesting from three of my friends, all three of them found me intimidating and I can't for the life for me figure out why. Is being strong minded and stubborn a good thing or a bad thing? Cuz I know that most like like to be in control but in my case I would like to be the one in control of everything. I am yes I am stubborn and I am strong willed and I do have very high expectations and I do expect everything to go my way most of the time. I guess if guys can't handle a girl like me then there is no way that I could ever get a boyfriend. *Sigh* :yh_worry :yh_frustr:-2

:yh_worry

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:23 am

strongirl56;882153 wrote: Yesterday I found out something very interesting from three of my friends, all three of them found me intimidating and I can't for the life for me figure out why. Is being strong minded and stubborn a good thing or a bad thing? Cuz I know that most like like to be in control but in my case I would like to be the one in control of everything. I am yes I am stubborn and I am strong willed and I do have very high expectations and I do expect everything to go my way most of the time. I guess if guys can't handle a girl like me then there is no way that I could ever get a boyfriend. *Sigh* :yh_worry :yh_frustr:-2

:yh_worry

you don't say if your three friends are male or female ... however ...

assuming they are female ... then in my experience usually when one woman finds another woman quote ... intimidating ... unquote ... it means that the intimidating woman is usually hot with "model" looks ...

if this is the case .. then why are you wasting your time running after that loser at school?

Jj

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:57 am

well heres the answer to your question Jj and its all males, they all say they think im intimidating because I'm strong willed and stubborn. Pretty much I expect things to go my way and I expect a lot from my friends whether they're males or females. then there are other friends that I have who don't find me intimidating at all.

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:14 pm

[QUOTE=strongirl56;882357]well heres the answer to your question Jj and its all males, they all say they think im intimidating because I'm strong willed and stubborn. Pretty much I expect things to go my way and I expect a lot from my friends whether they're males or females. then there are other friends that I have

Real men don't find women intimidating.

Perhaps in school settings, it could also be an issue of social class. Girls tend to gain social intelligence, vocabulary, and even height advantage faster than guys, though because they have to play dumb to get us to pay attention to them, we eventually catch up.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:06 pm

Hey Ms Strong Willed & Stubborn

it's more than likely your BODY LANGUAGE during your strong will & stubborness.

there's no intimidation male or female.

these other people don't approach you for a reason ??

don't talk to you for a reason??

and if you'd like them for a friend - you'll need to approach them - and we know that won't happen - your not assertive & strong.

What you've described to me "strong willed & Stubborn" gets what you want..?

means a SPOILED BRAT to me

You'll get everything you deserve.

Patsy

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 4:06 pm

Hi Ms. Patsy. I admit that I am a spoiled brat what I dont understand is what you meant by all the questions that you've asked me.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 7:25 pm

Strongirl

you stated "Intimidation " that your intimidating.

I stated these people don't approach you for a reason? and you don't know the reason ? why this could be happening?

So, are you asking me why these people don't talk to you - approach you ??

Think about it - your the one complaining about these people -

I think your a snob - seldom smile - not approachable - pretend friend - phony.

anymore questions?

Make this a class project & approach these people & ask them "Why your not friends"? What stops one from approaching another on Campus?

You need to be a fun person for people to want to be around you

I refuse to be around anyone NEGATIVE

Patsy

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:50 pm

Well you're wrong about me patsy thats all I'm gonna say to you.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:10 pm

Strongirl

you can't answer those questions yet?

You've analyzed yourself, intimidating, strong, control, stubborn, spoiled.

yet - you stay in his abusive relationship.? your in control

so you continue to stay around this guy (jerk) - his respect or lack of rubs off onto you.

Perhaps that association with this Jerk is the reason others avoid you.?

you stated I was wrong about you - Let me know what I'm wrong about

Patsy

ilona17 · Post by **ilona17** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:14 am

:yh_eyerol

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:18 am

Some only learn by having their noses rubbed in it. Sadly, some don't learn even then. Strongirl, you're walking a path that leads only to pain.

AJames · Post by **AJames** » Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:13 am

I am saddened that you are too into yourself to see that this guys is REALLY NOT INTO YOU. :-5

You are probably the opposite of what patsy said you were...you are vibrant..the life of the party... but for the life of you... you cant figure out why this guy will not be with you...INSPITE OF YOU STALKING HIM.

Like... does he not know what a catch you are? You know what...you probably arent that much of a catch...you are controlling.... you have 3 friends who FINALLY had guts to tell you to your face what they thought of you. Your other friends probably think that it is not worth the trouble to tell you what they think.

What do you think about what I think?

I do not mean to be mean to you but most of the time the truth will hurt.

RESPECT begets respect.... you do not respect yourself.... setting yourself up to being humiliated and probably even having the guy brag about you to his friends like how gaga you are about him....so how do you think he can respect you?

Look in the mirror. The one there is the source of your problem.

Just my two cents.

Peace.:yh_peace