Dear Employees

[scholle-kid]

:wah:Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention

that some individuals

throughout the company have been using foul

language during the course of

normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees

who may be easily offended,

this type of language will no longer be

tolerated. We do however, realize

the critical importance of being able to

accurately express your feelings

when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY

SAYING" phrases have been

provided so that proper exchange of ideas and

information can continue in

an effective manner.

l) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more

training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're

doing.

2)TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to

do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be

implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me

sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the

issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my A__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the

moment.

INSTEA D OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank you,

Human Resources

[K.Snyder]

:wah:

[Clodhopper]

Ah. Thank you. I knew I was ********** it up somewhere.:wah:

[qsducks]

This would never work where my hubby is employed.:wah: All guys.

[along-for-the-ride]

:wah:

If "consistant cussers" would really listen to themselves,................

[AussiePam]

Stone the bloody crows - I'm an innocent Aussie and hey I just learnt a heap of great new expressions not to use in my place of work!! :sneaky:

[qsducks]

AussiePam;903715 wrote: Stone the bloody crows - I'm an innocent Aussie and hey I just learnt a heap of great new expressions not to use in my place of work!! :sneaky:


Is that the good or the bad?:wah:

[AussiePam]

It's excelllent, Duckie!!! When I used to play golf my knowledge of the more exotic intricacies of the English language was similarly expanded!!

An aside: the French are very organised when it comes to this sort of thing. French has four semi-official registers of speech. The very formal one needs no explanation - I mean we all need to chat up the Academie Francaise once in a while Then there is the normal relaxed mode used by most people most of the time. Thirdly there is familiar language - used by les ados (kids) - and finally - and of course most dear to my evil heart - is lowlife street French guaranteed to stop the traffic and even get the attention of the mythical stereotype parisian waiter.

Why did I write all that???? WTF..??? You were all of course familiar with the issue.

[K.Snyder]

AussiePam;904049 wrote: It's excelllent, Duckie!!! When I used to play golf my knowledge of the more exotic intricacies of the English language was similarly expanded!!

An aside: the French are very organised when it comes to this sort of thing. French has four semi-official registers of speech. The very formal one needs no explanation - I mean we all need to chat up the Academie Francaise once in a while Then there is the normal relaxed mode used by most people most of the time. Thirdly there is familiar language - used by les ados (kids) - and finally - and of course most dear to my evil heart - is lowlife street French guaranteed to stop the traffic and even get the attention of the mythical stereotype parisian waiter.

Why did I write all that???? WTF..??? You were all of course familiar with the issue.


Hence "Excuse my French"?...

[AussiePam]

K.Snyder;904075 wrote: Hence "Excuse my French"?...


GUFFAW! Very good, K Snyder!! You might be okay in Australia!!! :sneaky: