late for work (rated R)

[lady cop]

i had to laugh at this, another deputy sent it to me...caution, may offend some....



While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 15 mph over),

I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.

Naturally, he pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"



I replied, "I'm late for work."



"Oh yeah," said the cop. "What do you do?"



"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.



The cop said, "What?.... A rectum stretcher?

What does a rectum stretcher DO?"



I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand.

Then I work until I can get both hands in there,

and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."



The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot a** hole?"



I simply replied, " You give him a radar gun and

park him on top of a bridge....."



Bail: $100

Ticket: $95

Look on that cop's face: PRICELESS! :wah:

[valerie]

O HELP!!



:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

[BabyRider]

Love it!

I wasn't even THINKING of posting it, but I love it!!

(Of course, I forwarded it on to all the LEO's in the club!!!) :yh_rotfl

[CARLA]

:wah: :yh_rotfl Got a good laugh for sure..

[Clint]

Not too long ago, after waiting and waiting at a near blind intersection for an opportunity to pull out, I made my move. When I was far enough into traffic to actually see like you should be able to, I saw a motorcycle cop bearing down on me breaking as hard as he could. When I reached the other side of the intersection, I just pulled over and waited. He went through the routine with license, registration and insurance then he asked if I knew why he had stopped me. I said; “incredibly bad timing on my part?” His loss of composure was so brief it was almost imperceptible. He handed my license and papers back and said; “that is a very bad intersection, you need to be very careful there”. I thanked him and he rode off.

[Porpoise]

That's hilarious!:wah: