Why buy the pig? This is for the ladies!!!

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun May 18, 2008 2:33 pm

MEN==MEN==MEN

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like .. Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .... Chocolate Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ... Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like ...... Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9 . Men are like ..... Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun May 18, 2008 3:44 pm

Sorry chief, but this is one of those speak for yourself clauses...

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun May 18, 2008 4:03 pm

Hummm !! no comment. :p

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun May 18, 2008 5:53 pm

Cars

Are you currently down on men ??

Of course most women have to date some pigs before you find a good man

I call that shopping.

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun May 18, 2008 10:25 pm

That was good....I've heard the parking spaces one, but not with the handicapped twist....that's a bit harsh....but I know its just a joke!:wah:

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Mon May 19, 2008 4:58 am

I'm 10 outa 13. Pretty good, huh?

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue May 20, 2008 10:54 am

Patsy Warnick;869146 wrote: Cars

Are you currently down on men ??

Of course most women have to date some pigs before you find a good man

I call that shopping.

Patsy
P, It's supposed to be a joke!

:rolleyes: :p

(What makes it kinda ironicaly funny, is that a some of it is kinda true! :wah:)

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue May 20, 2008 11:02 am

rjwould;869202 wrote: Thank goodness gender jokes are finally going the way of polish, ugly girl, racial, and blond jokes..
Did somebody say Blond Joke!!! A male blond joke at that!!!

Blonde joke:

Three iron workers all worked together on the 66th floor of a skyscraper, putting the iron structure together. All ate their lunch together every day.

One had black hair, one had brown hair, & the last one had blonde hair.

Guy with black hair said, damn, I sick & tired of my wife making me a Tuna sandwich every day, day after day!

Guy with brown hair said, damn, I'm sick & tired of my wife making me a ham sandwich every day, day after day!

Guy with blonde hair said, damn I'm sick & tired too of having a balony sandwich every day, day after day! If I get another balony sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this 66th floor!!!

Next day, blonde guy looks at his lunch, & sure enough there is a balony sandwich! He's so pis$ed, he jumps off!!!

At the wake the people are consoling his wife, while at the same time sort of are blaming her for the balony sandwich.

And his wife says: HEY DON'T BLAME ME, "HE" made his own lunch every day!!!

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Tue May 20, 2008 6:59 pm

cars;869085 wrote: 13. Men are likeParking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

The implications behind this one I find incredibly distasteful...

cars · Post by **cars** » Wed May 21, 2008 3:47 pm

K.Snyder;870671 wrote: The implications behind this one I find incredibly distasteful...
You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed May 21, 2008 4:16 pm

Cars:-4

You are just way tooooooooooooooooo funny...loved it:-6

How's Florida and New England...that's a good life Cars...hope you're enjoying it. I've been travelling to Florida for the last few years and really love it. It's funny....I never visited because I thought it would be too buggy and hot, but I got used to it. I also thought that I could only live along the rough Atlantic, but since visiting the Gulf of Mexico where the waters are calm, I've begun to love it there:-6

Hope life is good for you and the Mrs.:-4

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed May 21, 2008 4:25 pm

K.Snyder;869109 wrote: Sorry chief, but this is one of those speak for yourself clauses...

Hi K :-6

So good to see you....hope you're well and enjoying life. Just saw your post after I posted in Car's thread....

These jokes are just silly. Geeze, how many jokes are told about women in the same vain....And, I used to get so mad at these jokes......

I've just decided to enjoy the jokes because sometimes there's a bit of truth there. But, if a nasty person posted them to be mean then I wouldn't like them.

Sometimes I just look at who posted them and make a decision if they were meant to be mean or just taking the p*ss out of ourselves.

And, we know that Cars is a luv:-6

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Wed May 21, 2008 4:42 pm

Kathy Ellen;871249 wrote: Hi K :-6

So good to see you....hope you're well and enjoying life. Just saw your post after I posted in Car's thread....

These jokes are just silly. Geeze, how many jokes are told about women in the same vain....And, I used to get so mad at these jokes......

I've just decided to enjoy the jokes because sometimes there's a bit of truth there. But, if a nasty person posted them to be mean then I wouldn't like them.

Sometimes I just look at who posted them and make a decision if they were meant to be mean or just taking the p*ss out of ourselves.

And, we know that Cars is a luv:-6

Hi Kathy...

I am doing quite well...I hope you are doing as well as ever as I'm quite sure anyone as lovely as you couldn't say otherwise...

But to reiterate my last statement,.."Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped." implies quite clearly that anything in regards to the "rest" is less equal to that of the posters preference in "the good ones", which as I've said before I find incredibly distasteful and I retract none of that...

cars · Post by **cars** » Wed May 21, 2008 5:43 pm

Kathy Ellen;871248 wrote: Cars:-4

You are just way tooooooooooooooooo funny...loved it:-6

How's Florida and New England...that's a good life Cars...hope you're enjoying it. I've been travelling to Florida for the last few years and really love it. It's funny....I never visited because I thought it would be too buggy and hot, but I got used to it. I also thought that I could only live along the rough Atlantic, but since visiting the Gulf of Mexico where the waters are calm, I've begun to love it there:-6

Hope life is good for you and the Mrs.:-4

Hi KE, it's a given, you're a sweetheart! :-4 New England is too darn cold & rainy for us right now, seems like we may have come back here a little soon. However, we were talking just today, with some of our year round FL friends, & they said it was sooooo hot there, in the mid 90's the last several days. That's one of the reasons we don't spend the summer months there. We don't like it that hot!!! (In addition not to mention, not wanting to be there during nasty Hurricane season!)

And Yes, life is good for us, we are thankfull for that!

Glad that you are enjoying FL as well!

cars · Post by **cars** » Wed May 21, 2008 5:49 pm

K.Snyder;871251 wrote: Hi Kathy...

I am doing quite well...I hope you are doing as well as ever as I'm quite sure anyone as lovely as you couldn't say otherwise...

But to reiterate my last statement,.."Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped." implies quite clearly that anything in regards to the "rest" is less equal to that of the posters preference in "the good ones", which as I've said before I find incredibly distasteful and I retract none of that...
Chill out man, it's just a JOKE!!! Have you no humor? Did you not notice that it is in "JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT" section!!!? It's a JOKE!!! :-2

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:04 am

cars;871289 wrote: Chill out man, it's just a JOKE!!! Have you no humor? Did you not notice that it is in "JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT" section!!!? It's a JOKE!!! :-2
There ya go Cars, insulting the inequality of the humorless.:wah:

Distasteful I say. I'll have a ham and cheese sandwich. Thank you very much!:D

cars · Post by **cars** » Thu May 22, 2008 12:29 pm

YZGI;871863 wrote: There ya go Cars, insulting the inequality of the humorless.:wah:

Distasteful I say. I'll have a ham and cheese sandwich. Thank you very much!:D
Oh Oh, I think a ham and cheese sandwich is distasteful! It's either a plain ham sandwich, or a plain cheese sandwich, never the twain should meet!!! :p

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Thu May 22, 2008 7:39 pm

cars;871289 wrote: Chill out man, it's just a JOKE!!! Have you no humor? Did you not notice that it is in "JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT" section!!!? It's a JOKE!!! :-2

I have a sense of humor...

It was just an idiot joke that's all...

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:22 pm

Snyder

don't take it so personal

Now you know how Blondes feel over those stupid Blonde jokes.

they get old.

Good to see you - hope all is good with you..

I thought of you yesterday - I watched more sports - soccer-baseball - basketball..

Did you see the line drive ball that hit the pitcher on the Padres game?? OUCH

OK - back to men jokes - did you hear the one about - - ?? kidding

Patsy

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:36 pm

Patsy Warnick;872466 wrote: Snyder

don't take it so personal

Now you know how Blondes feel over those stupid Blonde jokes.

they get old.

Good to see you - hope all is good with you..

I thought of you yesterday - I watched more sports - soccer-baseball - basketball..

Did you see the line drive ball that hit the pitcher on the Padres game?? OUCH

OK - back to men jokes - did you hear the one about - - ?? kidding

Patsy

I think it would be appropriate for me to tell you and anyone reading this thread that gender has nothing to do with my argument...

It has everything to do with the blatant disregard for those whom happen to be handicapped...

I don't know how else to make it as blatantly clear as that...

Oh, and btw...How are you doing Patsy?...I'm flattered to know you would think of me in relation to anything let alone sports...

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:00 pm

Snyder

I know I didn't care for it either. not at all - found it insensitive

Your a sports lover - soccer game yesterday was crazy - Baseball ouch

Of course I thought of you

and it's nice to see you here

Patsy

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri May 23, 2008 6:46 am

K.Snyder;872473 wrote: I think it would be appropriate for me to tell you and anyone reading this thread that gender has nothing to do with my argument...

It has everything to do with the blatant disregard for those whom happen to be handicapped...

I don't know how else to make it as blatantly clear as that...

Oh, and btw...How are you doing Patsy?...I'm flattered to know you would think of me in relation to anything let alone sports...
Oh for crying outloud. It is not blatant disregard for the handicapped. It's a joke about men, if you tell a joke about blondes and the joke makes the blonde seem dumb, it also is a joke about a blonde its not a blatant disregard about dumb people...Get over it, PC gone wild.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri May 23, 2008 8:41 am

No....he doesn't need to get over it. It's not about PC. It's about being sensitive to slights against other people. For what it's worth I didn't like it either. Maybe you think it's no big deal. We have disabled people on this board. Do you think they noticed?

For crying out loud nothing, YZGI. KSnyder saw what he thought was an injustice and said his piece about it. That's a lot more than anybody else here bothered to do.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri May 23, 2008 8:51 am

jones jones;872722 wrote: Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In

order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to

purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I

decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul

it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides

she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no

less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her

sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph

office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her

that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer

to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then

adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull,

the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one

word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send

her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you

want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to

haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word

'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read

it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'

RedGlitter;872779 wrote: No....he doesn't need to get over it. It's not about PC. It's about being sensitive to slights against other people. For what it's worth I didn't like it either. Maybe you think it's no big deal. We have disabled people on this board. Do you think they noticed?

For crying out loud nothing, YZGI. KSnyder saw what he thought was an injustice and said his piece about it. That's a lot more than anybody else here bothered to do.
Where is your outrage for the disrespect of blonds in this thread?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri May 23, 2008 1:31 pm

Get real.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri May 23, 2008 2:20 pm

RedGlitter;872974 wrote: Get real.

...

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat May 24, 2008 2:01 pm

YZGI;872651 wrote: Oh for crying outloud. It is not blatant disregard for the handicapped. It's a joke about men, if you tell a joke about blondes and the joke makes the blonde seem dumb, it also is a joke about a blonde its not a blatant disregard about dumb people...Get over it, PC gone wild.

Just because the person to whom wrote or told the joke considers it a joke doesn't mean that what they've said will never be inconsiderate or offensive...

What you consider a joke others see as blatant disregard...

It's not my fault you have the inability to recognize this...

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat May 24, 2008 6:00 pm

K.Snyder;873759 wrote: Just because the person to whom wrote or told the joke considers it a joke doesn't mean that what they've said will never be inconsiderate or offensive...

What you consider a joke others see as blatant disregard...

It's not my fault you have the inability to recognize this...
It's a joke, it's absolutely not referring to "actual handicapped people"! :-2

It's a term referring to some men are handicapped, as in they are not able to make a commitment, or they don't know a good thing when they see it, or they look a gift horse in the mouth, etc!!!

Lighten up!!!

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat May 24, 2008 6:29 pm

OK

This joke was never in way shape or form displayed with the intentions of harm.

Cars is not like that

YZGI - is not like that

KSnyder - everyone understands your point

we all get it - no feelings hurt between any of us here - OK

Peace

Patsy

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat May 24, 2008 6:56 pm

cars;873839 wrote: It's a joke, it's absolutely not referring to "actual handicapped people"! :-2

It's a term referring to some men are handicapped, as in they are not able to make a commitment, or they don't know a good thing when they see it, or they look a gift horse in the mouth, etc!!!

Lighten up!!!

I understand in how you've meant it...

That doesn't change the fact that what was actually said wasn't insensitive...

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:01 pm

Alright Snyder you get the last word..

curious are you discussing this thread with one before replying ? curious

just watching the board.

By the Way - I'm handicapped

Patsy

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:09 pm

Patsy Warnick;873849 wrote: Alright Snyder you get the last word..

curious are you discussing this thread with one before replying ? curious

just watching the board.

By the Way - I'm handicapped

Patsy

I'm sorry Patsy,..am I discussing this thread with one as in whom?...

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:19 pm

What do you have to be sorry about ?

You stressed your point - just on & on & on & after I said PEACE

how insensitive

as far as discussing this before replying - don't play me as stupid &

doesn't matter..

Take Care Snyder

Patsy

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat May 24, 2008 7:21 pm

Patsy Warnick;873852 wrote: What do you have to be sorry about ?

You stressed your point - just on & on & on & after I said PEACE

how insensitive

as far as discussing this before replying - don't play me as stupid &

doesn't matter..

Take Care Snyder

Patsy

I said I was sorry for not understanding fully in which you were referring...

One as in both of whom I were arguing with or whatever...

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat May 24, 2008 8:08 pm

Stop

Cars - there was nothing wrong with posting this list of Men Jokes

there's one floating around @ women.

Did the word handicapped hit a nerve with me ? alittle, but no more than Suicide, murder, & alot of others.

Hell - Snyder with everything I've experienced - Everything could hit a nerve if I allowed it.

Snyder, you stood so firm on a word in print - used in a sentence.

Do you Laugh ? and at who's expense ?

I've always enjoyed talking with you, miss our Sports Trivia and wish to set this discussion aside - you don't seem to want to stop.

As far as who rallys behind you - she seems to have returned to FG with a different attitude than when she departed - and that's too bad.

I will not make another reply to this thread

Take Care

Patsy

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat May 24, 2008 8:43 pm

You know, evolvement is a damned good thing.

I don't see much of it transpiring here.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun May 25, 2008 5:33 am

I noticed this thread suddenly had 39 replies and I KNEW that somebody'd gotten their knickers twisted. Hell, we FG'ers can make anything into a heated debate, can't we?

Tha's cuz we be kreeeeeative! :yh_bigsmi

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun May 25, 2008 4:31 pm

It takes superior intellect and unsurpassed imagination to find offense hidden deep within the writings of some of these posts, yet we do it nearly every time. We should create some kind of award. :-6

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun May 25, 2008 5:06 pm

Accountable;874327 wrote: It takes superior intellect and unsurpassed imagination to find offense hidden deep within the writings of some of these posts, yet we do it nearly every time. We should create some kind of award. :-6

Words of wisdom, my friend...I think that we all do it at times:p