http://www.beliefnet.com/dailyjoke/dail ... x?QID=4845
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed, "Oh, that darned old fool, I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Trying to Take It With You
Trying to Take It With You
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".
Trying to Take It With You
LOL! good one, it reminds me of one similar:
A man gave a lawyer, a teacher and a minister a loan of 20,000 dollars on the condition that the pay him back when he died.
At the funeral, the Teacher said, "I can't pay him or his family back. I used the money for the students."
The Minister said, "I can't pay him back either, I used the money for the poor."
The lawyer said, "I think you are both despicable. A contract is a contract. I left a check for the entire amount inside his coffin."
A man gave a lawyer, a teacher and a minister a loan of 20,000 dollars on the condition that the pay him back when he died.
At the funeral, the Teacher said, "I can't pay him or his family back. I used the money for the students."
The Minister said, "I can't pay him back either, I used the money for the poor."
The lawyer said, "I think you are both despicable. A contract is a contract. I left a check for the entire amount inside his coffin."
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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LottomagicZ4941
- Posts: 752
- Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:00 pm
Trying to Take It With You
On a serious note we seem to have a lot of religious humor lately. If I haven't previously posted Obedient Christian Wife here I'll have to hunt it up. Till then here is a good one that has some truth to it. Don't know about ST Peter doing a meet and great but the grace part is true.
To get into heaven....
found on
http://www.christiansonline.cc/forum/sh ... php?t=1786
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A man died and approached the Pearly Gates. St. Peter told him he had to test people with the point system to enter heaven. If he got to 100 points he could enter.
The man told Peter that he gave to the poor. Peter marked him down for 3 points.
The man thought again, then said that he tithed. Peter added one point.
The man, desperately searching his memory, finally said that he never cussed. Peter added 1/2 a point.
By now the man got very frustrated and said that at this rate he could only get in by the Grace of God. Peter replied, "Come on in!"
Lotto
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t38
MagicZ4941A
To get into heaven....
found on
http://www.christiansonline.cc/forum/sh ... php?t=1786
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man died and approached the Pearly Gates. St. Peter told him he had to test people with the point system to enter heaven. If he got to 100 points he could enter.
The man told Peter that he gave to the poor. Peter marked him down for 3 points.
The man thought again, then said that he tithed. Peter added one point.
The man, desperately searching his memory, finally said that he never cussed. Peter added 1/2 a point.
By now the man got very frustrated and said that at this rate he could only get in by the Grace of God. Peter replied, "Come on in!"
Lotto
http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t38
MagicZ4941A