Problem people

Discuss Mental Health topics & issues.
Happy Gram
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Problem people

Post by Happy Gram »

When you encounter a problem person... one who is demanding, rude, critical, mean.... when they can't be avoided... how do you deal with them? For instance, to run into them at a party or on the street.... I have a hard time being rude.... it takes alot for me to completely ignore someone..... your thoughts?
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spot
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Post by spot »

Before taking any hasty steps you may later regret, ask yourself "am I married to her".
Nullius in verba|||||||||||
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Patsy Warnick
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Problem people

Post by Patsy Warnick »

I don't have a problem ignoring someone - my choice

I've written several people out of my life

Couldn't do it when I was 30

I sure as hell can do it at 50

Lovin every minute of it ..!!!!



Patsy
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jones jones
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Post by jones jones »

Happy Gram;847402 wrote: When you encounter a problem person... one who is demanding, rude, critical, mean.... when they can't be avoided... how do you deal with them? For instance, to run into them at a party or on the street.... I have a hard time being rude.... it takes alot for me to completely ignore someone..... your thoughts?




i am always extremely nice to such people ... or i try to be ... it takes quite an effort but it seems to work every time ....

often when they are rude and i am not ... then THEY ignore me as they think i must be weird ....

they solves the problem of me having to ignore THEM ....
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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mrsK
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Post by mrsK »

Happy Gram;847402 wrote: When you encounter a problem person... one who is demanding, rude, critical, mean.... when they can't be avoided... how do you deal with them? For instance, to run into them at a party or on the street.... I have a hard time being rude.... it takes alot for me to completely ignore someone..... your thoughts?


Just ignore them,it gets easier with practice:-6:-6
It's nice to be important,but more important to be nice.
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jennyswan
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Post by jennyswan »

One of the most difficult things to learn in life is how to not get bothered by other people.

Is this person like this in general or just towards you?

If the person is like this in general the I would just say a quick hello and make my excuses and if the person is like that towards just you trying being nice and friendly and interested in them. This is a trick that a counsellor told me and I thought he was batty at first but I agreed to try it out and low and behold, the person totally changed. I realised it was my attitude towards them that was putting them on the defensive and when I changed myself a little they were totally different too.

Anyway just my 2 cents :)
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flopstock
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Post by flopstock »

Happy Gram;847402 wrote: When you encounter a problem person... one who is demanding, rude, critical, mean.... when they can't be avoided... how do you deal with them? For instance, to run into them at a party or on the street.... I have a hard time being rude.... it takes alot for me to completely ignore someone..... your thoughts?


I almost never let people be mean spirited about other folks with me. For every negative thing you tell me about someone I can counter with something positive, until you catch a clue and shut the hell up. I can however get just as mean spirited if I feel someone is attacking someone who can't or won't snap back.

I honestly don't care when folks are critilcal of me anymore. I just tune them out - unless it is work related, or I've asked for an opinion. I am way more critical of my own shortcomings then anyone else could be.

If someone does ask for an opinion, they have no place being offended if I am honest with them in giving that opinion. If they don't want it, don't ask. I am past the point of just patting folks on the back to pep them up.
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.

Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6

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spot
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Post by spot »

flopstock;847546 wrote: I can however get just as mean spirited if I feel someone is attacking someone who can't or won't snap back. Been there. Got thumped. She's good is our floppy!
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The Rob
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Post by The Rob »

I listen patiently and then correct their grammar.
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Kathy Ellen
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Post by Kathy Ellen »

Unfortunately, I have a very quick temper and say things that I don't mean because I misspoke. I can't deal with rude people and tell them off...
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Oscar Namechange
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Post by Oscar Namechange »

spot;847413 wrote: Before taking any hasty steps you may later regret, ask yourself "am I married to her".


:wah::wah::wah:
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Oscar Namechange
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Post by Oscar Namechange »

What do you do with hangers on?

People who really don't give a toss about how you really are.

They just want something for themselves.

People who were of no significance in your life, then suddenly your life becomes, "Us, We, etc".

I hate it, advice please?

Ignoring has not worked. :mad:
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
nok
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Post by nok »

When that happens to me, I'm very polite, nice and kind to them. If that still doesn't work, if I'm at a party, I leave after a couple of minutes if they continue bothering me or harassing me. If it's a work situation, and I can't avoid them ( such as a boss, assistant boss, manager, close colleagues, etc.), then I'm super nice to them and pretend that everything's okay but if the harassment continues for a long period of time ( I'm very patient and for me that would be a year), then I just quit my job and find a new one.
Happiness is not a destiny. It is a daily goal. :)
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Odie
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Post by Odie »

Happy Gram;847402 wrote: When you encounter a problem person... one who is demanding, rude, critical, mean.... when they can't be avoided... how do you deal with them? For instance, to run into them at a party or on the street.... I have a hard time being rude.... it takes alot for me to completely ignore someone..... your thoughts?


if you can't avoid them, be the bigger person, and say hello.
Life is just to short for drama.
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Maristar87
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Post by Maristar87 »

As hard as it is, I just try my best to either ignore or avoid them. My one friend is causing me grief right now and putting herself and her family in danger but some people are too pig-headed to be changed. If you confront them about it, it'll usually end badly. Play it safe and let them learn the hard way.
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Odie
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Post by Odie »

Maristar87;1356955 wrote: As hard as it is, I just try my best to either ignore or avoid them. My one friend is causing me grief right now and putting herself and her family in danger but some people are too pig-headed to be changed. If you confront them about it, it'll usually end badly. Play it safe and let them learn the hard way.


sometimes the hard way with no help can end up extremely dangerous.
Life is just to short for drama.
Patsy Warnick
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

Maristar

"PigHeaded"

could this be the response to your approach.

Perhaps you've put this person on the defense?

Patsy

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