Observations on life

[Chezzie]

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

***************************

Love is grand;

divorce is a hundred grand.

*************************

I am in shape.

Round is a shape.

*************************

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

***************************

Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

***************************

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

***************************

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

***************************

Even if you are on the right track,

you'll get run over if you just sit there.

***************************

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.

A pessimist fears that this is true.

**************************

There will always be death and taxes;however,

death doesn't get worse every year.

***************************

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

***************************

Dijon vu --

the same mustard as before.

***************************

I am a nutritional overachiever.

***************************

I plan on living forever.

So far, so good.

***************************

Practice safe eating --

always use condiments.

***************************

A day without sunshine is like night.

***************************

If marriage were outlawed,

only outlaws would have in-laws.

***************************

It's frustrating when you know all the answers,

but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

***************************

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

***************************

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

***************************

Age doesn't always bring wisdom.

Sometimes age comes alone.

***************************

Life not only begins at forty,

it also begins to show.

**************************

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

you grow old because you stopped laughing