Need a chuckle? Or at least a grin?

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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BabyRider
Posts: 10163
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 1:00 pm

Need a chuckle? Or at least a grin?

Post by BabyRider »

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get

married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was

excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,

"I've lost my electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,

"Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender

says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted .



5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,

"Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.



7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the

other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says, "It's not unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this

morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,

"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up, examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other

day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet

him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.

He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

15. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

17. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the

bar tender here?"

[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

Need a chuckle? Or at least a grin?

Post by Accountable »

:yh_rotfl That's very punny!! :wah:
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abbey
Posts: 15069
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

Need a chuckle? Or at least a grin?

Post by abbey »

6,9 +12 gave me a chuckle! :D
polycarp
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:00 am

Need a chuckle? Or at least a grin?

Post by polycarp »

Ha ha ha, I was damn moody today but now you've given a good reason to laugh. Thanks BabyRider!
A formula for tact: "Be brief politely, be aggressive smilingly, be emphatic pleasantly, be positive diplomatically, be right graciously".
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