Friends Of Carol Part 1

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:10 pm

Carolly;840453 wrote: I also know without a shadow of a doubt that you a good mother and loves him more than herself or anybody else in this world.Ok you have some hang ups.....many of us do so your not alone there...but you have to think of Jacob and try to give him a normal,healthy upbringing.I wasnt given one and it will haunt me forever.

i do love my baby more than anything or anybody in this world, i would die for him without hesitation, but i sometimes doubt my ability to be a good mother, my mom is always telling me i'm spoiling him, she doesn't think i know how to take care of him either. when we're around her she's telling me every move to make dealing with him like i'm stupid or something, which is not good for my self-esteem. but then again thats nothing new, my mom has a habit of tearing down my confidence.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:19 pm

Hope6;840465 wrote: i do love my baby more than anything or anybody in this world, i would die for him without hesitation, but i sometimes doubt my ability to be a good mother, my mom is always telling me i'm spoiling him, she doesn't think i know how to take care of him either. when we're around her she's telling me every move to make dealing with him like i'm stupid or something, which is not good for my self-esteem. but then again thats nothing new, my mom has a habit of tearing down my confidence.You have to ask yourself if SHE was a good mother.....if she was then listen to her and if she wasn't you have to do what you think is right.At the end of the day she is your mother and she will feel she knows better as to her your still her little girl no matter how old you are.You have to deal with it and ask yourself if she actually does know better or the last thing you want is your child having your hang ups.Only you know the answer to the way you were brought up and you have to think about that very carefully.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:30 pm

Carolly;840471 wrote: You have to ask yourself if SHE was a good mother.....if she was then listen to her and if she wasn't you have to do what you think is right.At the end of the day she is your mother and she will feel she knows better as to her your still her little girl no matter how old you are.You have to deal with it and ask yourself if she actually does know better or the last thing you want is your child having your hang ups.Only you know the answer to the way you were brought up and you have to think about that very carefully.

my mother was over-bearing, over-protective, tempermental, and very, very strict. i got to go no where and do nothing as a child and she though that was fine, she used to say, i didn't get to do that when i was a child and you aren't any better than i am so why should you? even since i became an adult she has this same attitude when i lost my first baby, she showed very little sympathy for me, since she had lost a baby too before she had me. one of her favorite sayings was you act like your the only one who ever lost a child.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:37 pm

Hope6;840480 wrote: my mother was over-bearing, over-protective, tempermental, and very, very strict. i got to go no where and do nothing as a child and she though that was fine, she used to say, i didn't get to do that when i was a child and you aren't any better than i am so why should you? even since i became an adult she has this same attitude when i lost my first baby, she showed very little sympathy for me, since she had lost a baby too before she had me. one of her favorite sayings was you act like your the only one who ever lost a child.Well in that case you have to do what YOU feel is right and not let her take control in any way.I just hope that you can give him all the love he so deserves and at the same time not let him grow into a spoilt "bratt" that people will shy away from.You are a good woman and Im sure will

do the right thing.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:45 pm

Carolly;840484 wrote: Well in that case you have to do what YOU feel is right and not let her take control in any way.I just hope that you can give him all the love he so deserves and at the same time not let him grow into a spoilt "bratt" that people will shy away from.You are a good woman and Im sure will

do the right thing.

i'm glad you think i'm a good woman, but i don't know if i think it about myself, i to hope i can do the right thing. i guess time will tell.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:52 pm

How far is town away from you Hope? Maybe you could take him in say once a week to play with some other kids. Do they have any playgroups he could go to or have you any friends with kids that you could meet up with so he is mixing with other children.

At Jacobs age they do get very clingy. I am sure you are a wonderful mother and you are doing a great job with Jacob.

It is so sad you didnt get the sympathy off your mother when you lost your baby. Its a very sad thing to go through.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:08 pm

kayleneaussie;840489 wrote: How far is town away from you Hope? Maybe you could take him in say once a week to play with some other kids. Do they have any playgroups he could go to or have you any friends with kids that you could meet up with so he is mixing with other children.

At Jacobs age they do get very clingy. I am sure you are a wonderful mother and you are doing a great job with Jacob.

It is so sad you didnt get the sympathy off your mother when you lost your baby. Its a very sad thing to go through.

the closest town to us is about 8 miles away but you can hardly call it a town, it doesn't have a playground, all my friends and family's children are all so much older than Jacob, because of me being older having him. there is a preschool for 2 year-olds in the next nearest town which is about 45 minutes away but he can't go until he's 2, it's one day a week. unfortunatly there are no children his age in the neighborhood, he has one cousin he sees sometimes, shes 4 and shes very jealous of him one of the last times they were together she pushed him down in the floor.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:09 pm

Hope6;840499 wrote: the closest town to us is about 8 miles away but you can hardly call it a town, it doesn't have a playground, all my friends and family's children are all so much older than Jacob, because of me being older having him. there is a preschool for 2 year-olds in the next nearest town which is about 45 minutes away but he can't go until he's 2, it's one day a week. unfortunatly there are no children his age in the neighborhood, he has one cousin he sees sometimes, shes 4 and shes very jealous of him one of the last times they were together she pushed him down in the floor.

Well when he turns 2 try putting him in to pre school for the one day.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:11 pm

Well got a phone call today and they have found long term carers for Shayden. He will leave mid May all going well and Latesha goes on 12th June.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:10 am

kayleneaussie;840510 wrote: Well got a phone call today and they have found long term carers for Shayden. He will leave mid May all going well and Latesha goes on 12th June.Oh boy your gonna miss em mate:(

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:24 am

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money.

Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked,

'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'

The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,

'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did.' :wah::wah::wah:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:27 am

Carolly;840528 wrote: Oh boy your gonna miss em mate:(

I know :-1

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:54 am

Hope6;840465 wrote: i do love my baby more than anything or anybody in this world, i would die for him without hesitation, but i sometimes doubt my ability to be a good mother, my mom is always telling me i'm spoiling him, she doesn't think i know how to take care of him either. when we're around her she's telling me every move to make dealing with him like i'm stupid or something, which is not good for my self-esteem. but then again thats nothing new, my mom has a habit of tearing down my confidence.

hi hope,

dont worry dear, you're not the only one whose been through this :-5

parents are of another generation, they did things differently with us when we grew up.

jacob will do things differently to you when he's bringing up his own children and you will be sitting there, gritting you teeth cos its not the way YOU did it :rolleyes:

i could have willing strangled my mum sometimes cos her favorite saying was "dont worry, its a phase they're going through "

perhaps it would be worth the journey, once a week, to the play group, just to let him mingle with other children. its how they learn social skills, ok some of them will not be very desirable :-3 but they still learn.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:55 am

Hi ya Helen :-4

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:55 am

morning carol and kay,

hope things are ok with you both,:-4

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:06 am

hope,

just a little add on here...........

i was never going to have children, i was going to be something famous in the horse world

however 38yrs down the line, i have three girls and 13 grandchildren and havnt been near a horse for a very long time

i must have done something right cos they are good kids and havnt turned into criminals or druggies so i've got a family to be proud of:-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:19 am

Morning Guys;)Hope everyone is full of the joys of spring:-5:mad::sneaky:

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:45 am

Carolly;840556 wrote: Morning Guys;)Hope everyone is full of the joys of spring:-5:mad:

well im full of something but i think its the effects of the cabbage i had for tea last night

:(

didnt see tony curtis last night but he's on " this morning " now and in a wheelchair too, thats scarey :-2

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:52 am

Helen;840570 wrote: well im full of something but i think its the effects of the cabbage i had for tea last night

:(

didnt see tony curtis last night but he's on " this morning " now and in a wheelchair too, thats scarey :-2He wasnt in a wheelchair last night......he walked.....but goodness dont he look.......well weird springs to mind......is this really that hunk that most women fancied like mad??:(

Oh I know we all get old......my mirror knows that:-5 but at least gracefully and not having so much surgery on our faces that our belly button become our nose:rolleyes:

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:00 am

Carolly;840576 wrote: He wasnt in a wheelchair last night......he walked.....but goodness dont he look.......well weird springs to mind......is this really that hunk that most women fancied like mad??:(

Oh I know we all get old......my mirror knows that:-5 but at least gracefully and not having so much surgery on our faces that our belly button become our nose:rolleyes:

OMG

i had a reply to that but this is a family site and too early in the morning :wah::wah:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:12 am

Carolly;840576 wrote: He wasnt in a wheelchair last night......he walked.....but goodness dont he look.......well weird springs to mind......is this really that hunk that most women fancied like mad??:(

Oh I know we all get old......my mirror knows that:-5 but at least gracefully and not having so much surgery on our faces that our belly button become our nose:rolleyes:

And a Penis becomes a tongue

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:13 am

kayleneaussie;840584 wrote: And a Penis becomes a tongue

DIRTY GIRL !!!:wah::wah:

AND I TRIED SO HARD NOT TO POST ANYTHING LIKE THAT !

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:15 am

Helen;840585 wrote: DIRTY GIRL !!!:wah::wah:

Couldnt help myself :yh_rotfl Carol is going to go off at me for that one :driving:

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:21 am

Hiya each !!

Ere how can you tell when somebody has had a face lift or two ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

They have a very twitchy nose ----- have you noticed?

I think it's that the outlet valve has been moved too close to the inlet valve :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:25 am

mornin gill,

think the conversation on here has dropped to an all time low hasnt it

;):D

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:26 am

Carol started it

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:27 am

Helen;840590 wrote: mornin gill,

think the conversation on here has dropped to an all time low hasnt it

;):D

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Very good that Helen

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:28 am

Well I shall be back....just going to have a nice bubble bath

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:32 am

G#Gill;840592 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Very good that Helen

:wah::wah:

didnt read it that way when i posted it !!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:34 am

oh well, friday lunch time is approaching so are several bags of spuds, best get on with it i suppose:-1

cyas later :-4:-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:46 am

kayleneaussie;840584 wrote: And a Penis becomes a tongue

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:48 am

kayleneaussie;840591 wrote: Carol started it :DYe but I was being a lady:rolleyes:UNLIKE SOME!!!!!!:-5:sneaky:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:51 am

Watcha Gill hope ye ok and Chris is also.

So the tarts gonna have a bath.......just hope she washes that mouth out as well:rolleyes:I swear shes getting worse that one.......must be all that Pumkin she eats:wah::wah:;)

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:58 am

Hi Hope, Kay, Carol - I liked your joke :wah: but what are you doing up at 4.30 am ffs?

Hi Helen, don't work too hard Mrs :-3

:-6

:-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:01 am

I actually had a cross between a Peke and a Shitzu and called it my little Pigshit:wah::wah:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:08 am

Carolly;840614 wrote: I actually had a cross between a Peke and a Shitzu and called it my little Pigshit:wah::wah:

Now thats not very Ladylike speaking Petal:p

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:11 am

kayleneaussie;840620 wrote: Now thats not very Ladylike speaking Petal:pEr trying to catch up with you dearheart:D:rolleyes::p

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:11 am

I JUST LOVE MY BUBBLE BATH

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:14 am

kayleneaussie;840623 wrote:

I JUST LOVE MY BUBBLE BATH :DYe and dont the world know it!!!:-5:-5:p

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:15 am

ok I am off now...take care my cherubs :-4:-4:-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:23 am

kayleneaussie;840627 wrote: ok I am off now...take care my cherubs :-4:-4:-4Talk later Mrs;)

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 4:26 am

kayleneaussie;840627 wrote: ok I am off now...take care my cherubs :-4:-4:-4

See you later Kay XXX

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:08 am

Just got to feed the masses, be back shortly

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:48 am

Helen;840186 wrote: hello,

im sitting here with a badly swollen ankle again, it just dosnt seem to want get better.

anyway the doc told me to put a bag of frozen peas or what ever on it........... i havnt got any so.......... i've got a 2lb pack of bacon on there its done the trick and the dog thinks i smell wonderful
Hope your ankle is feeling better now Hele:-4n

Carolly;840263 wrote: Guys Im going for awhile as Im shattered.........hopefully talk later
You gotta start taking better care of yourself Carol:-4

Hope6;840465 wrote: i do love my baby more than anything or anybody in this world, i would die for him without hesitation, but i sometimes doubt my ability to be a good mother, my mom is always telling me i'm spoiling him, she doesn't think i know how to take care of him either. when we're around her she's telling me every move to make dealing with him like i'm stupid or something, which is not good for my self-esteem. but then again thats nothing new, my mom has a habit of tearing down my confidence.

Hope being a mum is the hardest job in the world, and one that none of us have any training or qualifications in to start with:rolleyes: Carol has given you a lot of good advice, i know its hard for you but you will always do what you think is best for your son and thats all you can do. You just have to learn not to ignore the voice in your head when it tells what the right thing is because you are worried he may think badly of you or wonder why you are making him do this, why you are making him spend time away from you, go to school, go to playgroup etc. when he just wants to be with you. the hardest thing about being a mother is the times you have to make decisions for their own good. You know he has to learn right from wrong etc. and you seem to be a woman that will instill that in to him, and not let him get away with facing consequences of his actions, so dont worry that you are spoiling him, cos i always say you can never spoil a child with love. He is your child and you are bringing him up, not your mother or your aunts, yes its ok to take advice from family sometimes, once you have heard their advice and deceided yourself wether you think it is good or not. But like i said at first Carols advice was good, you cant totally protect him from the big bad world and you wont be doing him any favours by trying to. The main thing is you obviously love hm very much and how lucky he is to have that:-4

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:49 am

G#Gill;840657 wrote: Just got to feed the masses, be back shortly

HI Gill:D

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:50 am

Sheila is loads better today:Dpractically back to her old self:D

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 5:57 am

Helen;840548 wrote: hi hope,

dont worry dear, you're not the only one whose been through this :-5

parents are of another generation, they did things differently with us when we grew up.

jacob will do things differently to you when he's bringing up his own children and you will be sitting there, gritting you teeth cos its not the way YOU did it :rolleyes:

i could have willing strangled my mum sometimes cos her favorite saying was "dont worry, its a phase they're going through "

perhaps it would be worth the journey, once a week, to the play group, just to let him mingle with other children. its how they learn social skills, ok some of them will not be very desirable :-3 but they still learn.

Hi Helen

i'm sure you're right, i'll be old grandma sticking my nose into things too!:wah::wah:

i think i will start takeing him to the play group when he gets 2, i also need to start letting him go to his own Sunday School class, so far i've been carrying him into mine.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:01 am

kazalala;840718 wrote: Hope your ankle is feeling better now Hele:-4n

You gotta start taking better care of yourself Carol:-4

Hope being a mum is the hardest job in the world, and one that none of us have any training or qualifications in to start with:rolleyes: Carol has given you a lot of good advice, i know its hard for you but you will always do what you think is best for your son and thats all you can do. You just have to learn not to ignore the voice in your head when it tells what the right thing is because you are worried he may think badly of you or wonder why you are making him do this, why you are making him spend time away from you, go to school, go to playgroup etc. when he just wants to be with you. the hardest thing about being a mother is the times you have to make decisions for their own good. You know he has to learn right from wrong etc. and you seem to be a woman that will instill that in to him, and not let him get away with facing consequences of his actions, so dont worry that you are spoiling him, cos i always say you can never spoil a child with love. He is your child and you are bringing him up, not your mother or your aunts, yes its ok to take advice from family sometimes, once you have heard their advice and deceided yourself wether you think it is good or not. But like i said at first Carols advice was good, you cant totally protect him from the big bad world and you wont be doing him any favours by trying to. The main thing is you obviously love hm very much and how lucky he is to have that:-4

hi Kaz,

i don't think you can spoil a child with love either, i believe me i love my little angel more than anything on this earth, i tell ya i didn't know i was capable of loving something so much.

i wonder if being an older mother, makes me worry more, maybe i have a harder time dealing with things than a younger woman would.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:03 am

kazalala;840720 wrote: Sheila is loads better today:Dpractically back to her old self:D

Hi Kaz !!! So pleased to hear about Sheila :-4 Dogs are so resilient!!

I've just been outside, briefly, blinkin eck it aint arf cold in that wind brrrrrrrrrrr!

:-6:D

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:05 am

Hope6;840740 wrote: hi Kaz,

i don't think you can spoil a child with love either, i believe me i love my little angel more than anything on this earth, i tell ya i didn't know i was capable of loving something so much.

i wonder if being an older mother, makes me worry more, maybe i have a harder time dealing with things than a younger woman would.

No

I think thats just the way you are:wah: also maybe because of your living situation you dont get to mix with other mothers a lot and have a good natter about things, then you would probably see we usually all have more or less the same problems worries etc. i felt the same way you do when i had my kids Hope, its so hard to explain unless you are a mum how it feels, that overpowering love. You wil do ok Hope, just the fact that you are worrying and thinking about the best way to do things is a good sign:D:-6