Rednecks!

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:48 pm

Now you just could be a REDNECk if...

You don't have a home phone

You stockpile Pork & Beans

You have a refrigerator just for beer..

You clean your hands daily with gasoline.

You wouldn't dare go anywhere without jumper cables..

The cottage cheese container in your refrigerator holds night crawlers

You practice fishing off your front porch

All your wedding guests were seated on the same side of the church.

Every room in your house is a junk room

The biggest sign on your place of business says "Minnows!"

You've ever backed down an exit ramp.

You've ever been on TV not wearing a shirt.

You've ever read the entire Sunday paper sitting in the bathroom

You've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull.

You have to wash your hands ...before you go to the bathroom

You know your daddy's CB handle, but not his real name.

You own a monogrammed minnow bucket.

You own a Waffle House credit card.

Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.

Your horse can count higher than you.

Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.

All your relatives cars have "Tag Stolen" signs in the rear window.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:58 pm

and there's a rebel flag in your rear truck window, your kids and dogs and empty beercans are in the bed of the pickup, you consider cases of beer to be hurricane -essential supplies, you have 7 teeth, you think jerry springer is serious psychology, you are married to several of your cousins, you never answer the door when the eviction notice to your trailer is delivered, you move out at midnight, you let your babies run around barefoot amongst the fire-ant nests, but what the hell, you aren't watching them anyway, when you post personal ads you use your last booking photo, you weigh 378 pounds and wear walmart spandex halter tops, OH DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!!

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Mon Jul 04, 2005 7:42 am

You, know, the emergency room my sister used to work in had this

joke about the "tooth to tattoo" ratio on some of the derelicts that

came in. Seems there was more of one than the other, if'n ya know

what I mean!!

:D

devist8me · Post by **devist8me** » Mon Jul 04, 2005 7:57 pm

Whew! I'm glad I don't relate to any of those (ok, well most). However, I won't say which ones of these I do relate to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a

hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't

HAVE them, you PITCH them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,

turnip greens, peas, beans, etc, make up a mess.

_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the

general direction of yonder

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long directly is

-- as in: Going to town, be back directly.

_____

Even Southern babies know that Gimme some sugar is

not a request for the white, granular sweet substance

that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the

table.

_____

All Southerners know exactly when by and by is. They

might not use the term, but they know the concept

well.

_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best

gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is

a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold

potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference

between right near and a right far piece. They

also know that just down the road can be 1 mile or 20.

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:08 pm

How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

Three. One to eat the 'possum, and two to watch for cars.

found on

http://www.cyclingforums.com/t266373-rednecks.html

Lotto

http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t38

MagicZ4941A

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:13 pm

LottomagicZ4941 wrote: How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

Three. One to eat the 'possum, and two to watch for cars.

found on

http://www.cyclingforums.com/t266373-rednecks.html

Lotto

http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... inchat.t38

MagicZ4941A

ONG that is funny ahahahahahaha:wah:

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:22 am

oh dear i dont even know what a redneck is

is it people from a certain state or travelling people, somebody help me out

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 5:48 am

buttercup wrote: oh dear i dont even know what a redneck is

is it people from a certain state or travelling people, somebody help me out

Generally speaking, Rednecks are country people from the deep south USA. We got the name from the permanent sunburn we sport as a result of working outside for a living. ... and fishin'

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 6:53 am

For a definition of redneck:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck

I have many where I live! I now drive like them, since my nice car is going to be relegated to one of the kids for college, and I will be driving the pickup. Watch out for my definition of Daisy Mae as I'm rolling down the street!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 7:02 am

chonsigirl wrote: For a definition of redneck:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck

I have many where I live! I now drive like them, since my nice car is going to be relegated to one of the kids for college, and I will be driving the pickup. Watch out for my definition of Daisy Mae as I'm rolling down the street!
:yh_rotfl I've never seen such a sanitized & distant definition before. I feel like I've been impaled on a cork slab with a straight pin, label neatly typed and attached!

Chonsi, enjoy your truck. But you know the picture is not truly complete until you install a gun rack in the rear winodow.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 7:14 am

Yeah, a gun rack! That would really impress my students when they see me barrelling into the school parking lot every morning...................:wah:

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:02 am

valerie wrote: Now you just could be a REDNECk if...

Brilliant!!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:00 am

And bumper stickers, have to have them all over the back fender, with the Stars and Bars flying on the antennae...................

*as students target my truck for mischief*

Attached files

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:31 am

Far Rider wrote: You, obviously, have never eaten possum pot pie! Its awesome!:yh_bigsmi
That's right. The cars will stop for possum pot pie!

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:35 am

thank you accountable & chonsigirl, good descriptions, we had the dukes of hazzard & beverly hillbillys on t.v here when i was young, this is the first time ive heard of them being refered to as rednecks, i'll get the jokes now