Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Q,s for the brainiacs here
Q,s for the brainiacs here
"To be foolish and to recognize that one is foolish, is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise."
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Richard Bell
- Posts: 1228
- Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:56 am
Q,s for the brainiacs here
LOL! Funny list. I especially liked the Tarzan question.
I once knew somebody who liked to say he "slept like a baby... I cried all night and messed* the bed."
:yh_rotfl
* well, actually, he used a cruder (and funnier) word, but I thought I should uphold FG's high standards of decency.
I once knew somebody who liked to say he "slept like a baby... I cried all night and messed* the bed."
:yh_rotfl
* well, actually, he used a cruder (and funnier) word, but I thought I should uphold FG's high standards of decency.
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cherandbuster
- Posts: 8594
- Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am
Q,s for the brainiacs here
Richard Bell;808919 wrote: * well, actually, he used a cruder (and funnier) word, but I thought I should uphold FG's high standards of decency.
Hey! When did we 'up' the standards around here?
Nobody told me :p
Hey! When did we 'up' the standards around here?
Nobody told me :p
Live Life with
PASSION!:guitarist
PASSION!:guitarist
Q,s for the brainiacs here
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Jane
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Basic Misunderstanding of How electricity works
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Its profitable
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? To ensure they don't knock themselves out before they hit the target.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Because its impossible to count four billion stars by yourself.
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Probably Hitler
What is the speed of darkness? Zero (no units).
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Misconception of how babies work
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? Unlikely
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? The question is an oxymoron
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? In those days the clever people were too busy doing properly useful things then like going to the moon and designing supersonic jets, nowadays the clever people have to make money by putting wheels on over-priced luggage, spicing up crap consumer products with flashy lights, and ghostwriting books by moronic celebrities about their new kitchens, which is why we haven't been back to the moon since 1973 and Concorde doesn't fly anymore.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because they quickly realize that one roof is like another, no matter how high up it is.
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Heidi Maybe? But more likely to be someone in the middle east about 10,000 years ago.
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Again, Heidi Maybe? Though that middle eastern Person may well have had something to do with that as well.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Same Reason Cars are deisgned to go at 130 MPH despite the 70 MPH speed limit, because people like the idea of being able to do things, even if its stupid.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? How often do you get up in the middle of the night looking for a frozen turkey in the dark?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Out of a vague sense of Dignity and also because they might get punched.
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? See answer above
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Hard to say, may be Pluto is looking for sympathy
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A series of tasks, graded at the end.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Petroleum byproducts and perfumes
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? No, but it seems that way sometimes.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? A lack of imagination perhaps?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Depends on what they are looking for out of it.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Dogs realize that they cannot attack the wind, but they can attack the moron who is blowing on them, which is why they may outlast us in evolutionary terms yet.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?[/QUOTE] No, but its an enjoyable activity, and victim free.
Hope that was of some use.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Basic Misunderstanding of How electricity works
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Its profitable
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? To ensure they don't knock themselves out before they hit the target.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Because its impossible to count four billion stars by yourself.
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Probably Hitler
What is the speed of darkness? Zero (no units).
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Misconception of how babies work
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? Unlikely
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? The question is an oxymoron
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? In those days the clever people were too busy doing properly useful things then like going to the moon and designing supersonic jets, nowadays the clever people have to make money by putting wheels on over-priced luggage, spicing up crap consumer products with flashy lights, and ghostwriting books by moronic celebrities about their new kitchens, which is why we haven't been back to the moon since 1973 and Concorde doesn't fly anymore.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because they quickly realize that one roof is like another, no matter how high up it is.
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Heidi Maybe? But more likely to be someone in the middle east about 10,000 years ago.
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Again, Heidi Maybe? Though that middle eastern Person may well have had something to do with that as well.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Same Reason Cars are deisgned to go at 130 MPH despite the 70 MPH speed limit, because people like the idea of being able to do things, even if its stupid.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? How often do you get up in the middle of the night looking for a frozen turkey in the dark?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Out of a vague sense of Dignity and also because they might get punched.
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? See answer above
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Hard to say, may be Pluto is looking for sympathy
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A series of tasks, graded at the end.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Petroleum byproducts and perfumes
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? No, but it seems that way sometimes.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? A lack of imagination perhaps?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Depends on what they are looking for out of it.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Dogs realize that they cannot attack the wind, but they can attack the moron who is blowing on them, which is why they may outlast us in evolutionary terms yet.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?[/QUOTE] No, but its an enjoyable activity, and victim free.
Hope that was of some use.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Q,s for the brainiacs here
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
it would be twice the difference between what one considers a 'normal' temperature and 0. if one considers 68 degrees fahrenheit normal, for example, then twice as cold tomorrow would be -68 degrees fahrenheit. 0, in this case, represents a mark in a system of measurement, not an amount.
it would be twice the difference between what one considers a 'normal' temperature and 0. if one considers 68 degrees fahrenheit normal, for example, then twice as cold tomorrow would be -68 degrees fahrenheit. 0, in this case, represents a mark in a system of measurement, not an amount.
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along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Q,s for the brainiacs here
The answer to all the questions...................because we're human.
:D
:D
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.