in honor of St. Patty's Day

[Wolverine]

Beer Troubleshooting Chart. i thought this might help Jimbo.







SYMPTOM Feet cold and wet.

FAULT Glass being held at incorrect angle.

ACTION Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.



SYMPTOM Feet warm and wet.

FAULT Improper bladder control.

ACTION Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.



SYMPTOM Beer unusually pale and tasteless................

FAULT Glass empty.

ACTION Get someone to buy you another beer.



SYMPTOM Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

FAULT You have fallen over backward.

ACTION Have yourself leashed to bar.



SYMPTOM Mouth contains cigarette butts.

FAULT You have fallen forward.

ACTION See above.



SYMPTOM Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

FAULT Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

ACTION Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.



SYMPTOM Floor blurred.

FAULT You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

ACTION Get someone to buy you another beer.



SYMPTOM Floor moving.

FAULT You are being carried out.

ACTION Demand to be taken to another bar.



SYMPTOM Room seems unusually dark.

FAULT Bar has closed.

ACTION Confirm home address with bartender.



SYMPTOM Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.

FAULT Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

ACTION Cover mouth.



SYMPTON Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

FAULT You are dancing on the table.

ACTION Fall on somebody cushy-looking.



SYMPTOM Beer is crystal-clear.

FAULT It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

ACTION Punch him.



SYMPTOM Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

FAULT You have been in a fight.

ACTION Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.



SYMPTOM Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

FAULT You've wandered into the wrong party.

ACTION See if they have free beer.



SYMPTOM Your singing sounds distorted.

FAULT The beer is too weak.

ACTION Have more beer until your voice improves.



SYMPTOM Don't remember the words to the song.

FAULT Beer is just right.

ACTION Play air guitar

[along-for-the-ride]

Here's to ya, Wolverine..............



Click on the pic.

Attached files

[chrisb84uk]

Hahaha good one! :wah: