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New member introductions. Tell us a little about yourself. Then, click on "Blogs" above and start your own personal blog!
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esrun
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:12 pm

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Post by esrun »

Hi my name is Rhonda. I am new to this and I'm not sure what to tell and what not to tell. I just feel so empty and alone. My husband will not talk to me about the affair he had. He keeps saying I don't know to all my questions and he says it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with me. I need to know how to get him to open up to me. I don't even know the woman's name. He wont tell me because he says he is trying to protect me. I think he wont tell because he is protecting her. He thinks I will do something to her. I dont want to do anything to her I just need peace of mind so I wont hate everywoman I know or meet wondering if she is the one. If anyone can help I would appreciate it.
Jives
Posts: 3741
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:00 pm

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Post by Jives »

Damn...Sorry to hear that Esrun. Here's something that should make you feel better...you are a good decent, intelligent human being. There's NOTHING wrong with you, so don't take it so hard.

By the way, in case you haven't faced it yet....your marriage is over. Pack up and move on. There are guys out there that will love you and be true to you forever.

You deserve it. :o

In the meantime, why not hang out here with us. Talking to people here will make you feel better and perhaps can restore that broken self confindence. If nothing else, it can distract you from your problems. ;)
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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babygirl
Posts: 738
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:00 pm

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Post by babygirl »

Jives wrote: Damn...Sorry to hear that Esrun. Here's something that should make you feel better...you are a good decent, intelligent human being. There's NOTHING wrong with you, so don't take it so hard.

By the way, in case you haven't faced it yet....your marriage is over. Pack up and move on. There are guys out there that will love you and be true to you forever.

You deserve it. :o

In the meantime, why not hang out here with us. Talking to people here will make you feel better and perhaps can restore that broken self confindence. If nothing else, it can distract you from your problems. ;)


Nicely put Jives xx

welcome to FG i am sorry about what you are going through but read wjat Jives has put
Live life to the max as you only get to do it once!! make your dreams come true :-4





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BabyRider
Posts: 10163
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 1:00 pm

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Post by BabyRider »

Esrun, did your husband "confess" or did you find out?

Either way, it seems to me that since it's out there, in the open, he should tell you whatever it is you want to know. Continued secrecy about it leads me to believe that A) it's not over, and B) he isn't trying to work on the marriage. If you are the only one to make an effort, it will be in vain. Marriages can survive affairs, but only if both people are willing to work on it. If he is a closed book, perhaps your efforts are better focused somewhere else. Like yourself.
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




Jives
Posts: 3741
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:00 pm

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Post by Jives »

BabyRider wrote: Marriages can survive affairs, but only if both people are willing to work on it.


Very well said, BR, that's what I was trying to say. I can tell from his actions that he's trying not to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore.

Dang...I hate threads like these.

:(
All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players...Shakespeare
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BabyRider
Posts: 10163
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 1:00 pm

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Post by BabyRider »

That's the same impression I get, Jives. To just shut down like he has and not be willing to discuss it is a bad sign. No communication = no hope.

I hate these threads, too. I just hope that talking about it and getting some unbiased input will help this lady.
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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mominiowa
Posts: 1576
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:39 am

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Post by mominiowa »

I feel for you esrun......keep your head up and always know who you are..Don't live your life to please a man that has little time or you...Make time for yourself and appreciate yourself..Do you have children? - If you do - think of their happiness and how this is affecting your family as a whole....Women and men are strong creatures when they are dealt a rotten hand....Fold the deck and move on girl!! ;) Good LUck - and welcome....we are happy you are here!!! :-6


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
weeder
Posts: 3130
Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:05 am

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Post by weeder »

Theres nothing wrong with you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that everyday.

You know there is this way of thinking today... That we arent meant { except in really out of the ordinary unions} to be with one person for a lifetime. Sometimes our mates move on.. but they shouldnt take your self respect with them. You need your self esteem to move on, love again if you wish.. and go on to maybe love again yourself. If hes not willing to share the details of this affair with you.. its over. Cut him loose.. dont let him have his cake and eat it too. Thats too much power. Help him make his decision... make it for him. Youll feel great. best wishes

for a speedy recovery,
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Peg
Posts: 8673
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2004 12:00 pm

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Post by Peg »

Hi esrun and welcome to the garden. :D I think you know what you need to do. Sometimes, it's better to be alone and lonely than to be married and lonely. Hope that makes sense.
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minks
Posts: 26281
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

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Post by minks »

Welcome to the garden E. I would also like to add to what the others stated (I agree with them and some of us have been through your trials and tribulations and have got awesome support from each other here) If you do decide to work on your marriage, please thing long and hard about what future secrets will do to your relationship and how far will you be willing to trust your husband after this.

I wish you luck and do stick around here for support there is many an experienced "gardener"

Cheers
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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