Abnormal?

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:37 am

You go girl, your not abnormal, how you live is most admirable. I am only 2 years into single life and whew it's tough. I think your perfectly fine and if you ever decide after your children are gone to take up with a "special someone" then they get a helluva catch hehehehe

The guy was being an idiot.

Post by **spot** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:41 am

You've no reason to think he knows anything more than you do, Lexi. What you have may involve ups and downs, but it sounds admirable. At least he only expressed his opinions online, he'd have been dire in a pub.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:41 am

I TOTALLY agree with you that you are perfectly entitled to be single if you so wish. Why not?!

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:48 am

prolly just intimadated by your independent nature.. .. must be living in the stone age yet.. yep that is it.. Me Grog.. you woman.. bwhahahahahaha.......

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:51 am

Lexi wrote: I have just had an argument with a guy online over my life style choice and he says that i am abnormal and need phychiatric help and why? because i enjoy single life! :-2

I just wondered what others perspective is on this.

I am almost 31, i have been bringing up my children alone for over 13 years and in all that time i have seen one guy, it was for 6 years but he was never introduced to my kids or allowed to my home, it wasn't serious, it was just fun that suited us both.

I have my own business and home, i'm financially secure, i can build a brick wall, put up shelves, change a plug and check the oil on my car.

I have good friends, love my kids and have a full life, yet because i dont have that need to find " the special one" i am told that i must be a lesbian when i said i wasn't he got abusive and said i'm abnormal and need pychiatric help as its only normal for a man and woman to want someone and i'm just lying to myself. I have now stopped laughing at his reaction and find his remarks patronising and insulting.

I have had to explain my life choice to friends for years due to them trying to " fix me up" over and over.

Why can't a woman be happy on her own?

My life is good i can't understand the need to complicate it by getting involved in a relationship.

If someones happy do they need to change to fit in with what society regard as the norm?

Sorry rant over, i need chocolate!

Good on ya -------------- If you are happy, screw what others think. Why even seek approval or comments from others?

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:53 am

Lexi, unfortunately that's the view of some guys (note i said some)

IMO they think this way because they can't stand to think of you,

an attractive woman bringing up 2 kids on your own

and doing a good job of it, and not having the need to rely on a man in your life!

I was on my own for 9 years and remained celibate for those years and it suited me perfectly, but it was like a red rag to a bull, i became a challenge to men and when i knocked them back they thought i was a lesbian!

So took to wearing an engagement ring because i was so fed up having to explain that i was perfectly happy on my own, doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone but my own concience.

You go girl, and if you want a bar of chocolate eat as many as you like after all, you dont have to apologise for it or explain why you feel the need for doing it to any man :wah:

PS sorry about any typo's my nails need cutting!

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 8:29 am

I see no reason for a woman to get married or have a man in her life if she doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to. As a matter of fact, I think it would be a big mistake to enter into a relationship just because others think you should. I do have one caution though. No matter how good you are as a mother, your children need a male figure in their life as they grow up. Someone like a grandfather, uncle, cousin or someone you trust who can commit to be there for them. It is especially important if you have a son.

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:50 am

Lexi wrote: Thankyou for the comments, i was shocked when i came on here as it had been a while since anyone had questioned me this way and he was so nasty!.

I understand what you say about male role model Clint and yes i have a son, i have lots of male friends and my kids were close to their grandad who sadly died earlier this year but i am the one who stands in the rain on the sideline during his football matches and rugby games, i take him paintballing and rock climbing, race him on his cross bike and i asked both of my children a while ago if they felt they were missing out as this point was raised by a friend and they said no, im mum and dad rolled into one, my son said i do more "dad" stuff with him that his friends dad do so i think they are growing up as well balanced individuals.
It sounds like you are a serious parent doing all you can do to give your children the best. Congratulations, Kudos, Keep up the good work!!!

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 3:19 pm

I am just like you.. can do ANYTHING... Also raised my two sons just like you... I had someone I lived with for 6 years break up with me because I was too independant and too enthusiastic about my work, my friends and my hobbies.

There is nothing abnormal about flourishing with and enjoying your single life.

Tan · Post by **Tan** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:41 pm

Do your thang girl! It is admirable.

jpcme · Post by **jpcme** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:02 am

I have had a couple of relationships with women in similar situations to yourself. There is nothing abnormal in how you choose to live your life and there are plenty of other women who feel the same way as you. As long as you and your children are happy then great.

babygirl · Post by **babygirl** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:25 am

Lexi wrote: Thankyou

It's not that i don't trust men, my husband died he didn't leave us by choice but i just don't have the time or the inclination for a relationship, i love the company of men, alot of my closest friends are men but i just dont " want one". Maybe i'm just too selfish i'm not sure, or maybe its just that no guy has ever made me interested enough to consider it.

But the kids are happy and i am so its good

i am sorry for your loss Lexi, and my advice is you do what you want do not listen to people if you are happy and your children are happy (which sounds like they are) then good on ya babe you stick to your guns and do not let anyone upset you about it xxx :-4

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:22 am

Holy Shiite lady!! you are one of the most "squared away" individuals I have ever heard of. You have it more together than some 50 yr olds I know.

That's friggin great! tell that guy to "Sod OFF!!" or "Get Buggered"

that's my opinion

and not to be too disgusting or lude, but since I am the Garden's Resident

Geek-Boy, one word.... MILF

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:24 am

Man are you weird! Everybody knows that know woman can't be truly complete without a man to feed and bathe, to sit in the living room wearing nothing but those oh-so-sexy white cotton briefs (just like Michael Jordan, you know) rubbing his carefully cultivated Buddha Belly, ideally covered with just the right amount of fur.

A woman needs a man to help raise the kids properly! Mom can't possibly do the "pull my finger" trick with any credibility. How are the kids going to learn to play one authority figure off the other if there is only one???? The social ramifications are astounding! :-5

:-6 I work hard to make my wife feel valuable. She shows her appreciation with a daily litany of all the things she's done by herself, many of which she wouldn't have had the opportunity to try without me - a MAN - in the house. How often do you have the chance to practice your "hovering" skills in the privacy of your home. It's never more realistic than when there are real urine stains on the toilet.

Just think of all the things you are missing.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:33 am

Accountable wrote: Man are you weird! Everybody knows that know woman can't be truly complete without a man to feed and bathe, to sit in the living room wearing nothing but those oh-so-sexy white cotton briefs (just like Michael Jordan, you know) rubbing his carefully cultivated Buddha Belly, ideally covered with just the right amount of fur.

How often do you have the chance to practice your "hovering" skills in the privacy of your home. It's never more realistic than when there are real urine stains on the toilet.

Just think of all the things you are missing.

OMG!! you are too much man :yh_rotfl :yh_laugh :yh_giggle

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:06 pm

Lexi wrote: Thankyou for the comments, i was shocked when i came on here as it had been a while since anyone had questioned me this way and he was so nasty!.

I understand what you say about male role model Clint and yes i have a son, i have lots of male friends and my kids were close to their grandad who sadly died earlier this year but i am the one who stands in the rain on the sideline during his football matches and rugby games, i take him paintballing and rock climbing, race him on his cross bike and i asked both of my children a while ago if they felt they were missing out as this point was raised by a friend and they said no, im mum and dad rolled into one, my son said i do more "dad" stuff with him that his friends dad do so i think they are growing up as well balanced individuals.
I have to disagree about the need for a male friend or mentor. I don't think it makes a bit of difference. I was raised by females (no males in the picture at all). One of my close friends is a lesbian and she and her partner of 24 years both were married and raised two sons each. The boys are straight and all male. I married and had four daughters. I would like to think that because of my close and ongoing contact with females, that I have a bit of a sensitivity to thier particular needs and concerns, and that ain't all bad.

babygirl · Post by **babygirl** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:22 am

Lexi wrote: Thankyou for the replies, they made me smile and are much appreciated xxx

I was at work today and had somone coming to view it as the business is for sale, it's a garage and car lot, the guy turned up slapped me on the arse and told me to go and fetch the boss man! :-2

I looked him in the eye and explained " you are talking to the boss" he was stuttering " but your a woman!!!!!" instead of feeling completely riled at his shock i stood proud and thanked him for noticing, thanks for making me more confident :wah:

xxxx

LMAO Lexi now that was funny good on ya Girl :-4

shibee · Post by **shibee** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 9:43 am

YOU GO GIRL! Don't be afraid to be who you are! You are a strong, independent women and some men fear a woman like that. That guy you were arguing with is probably some dependent, psycho, insecure nut. Don't question your happiness. If you are happy the way things are rolling now, CONTINUE TO BE HAPPY AND DON'T EVER CHANGE WHO U ARE JUST TO "FIT IN"...MORE POWER TO YA! :-6 :- 6 :-6 :-6

keyakeya123 · Post by **keyakeya123** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:54 pm

Hey, if you like it, I love it!! And anyway, why do you even care about what someone else thinks?