"Hello?"
"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says,"But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little gir l comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?"
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran aroun screaming. Then she tripped over the ru g, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? Is this 586-5731?"
Hello?
Hello?
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
Hello?
LOVE IT!!!Reminds me of one but I cant be bothered typing it all out:rolleyes:its a classic like that lol.Thanks for making me smile babe;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
fuzzy butt;769082 wrote: carol you realise that if I meet up with you, that anyone who tells an exceptional joke will enjoy a round of vintage champagne?:D
Well girlfiend get ready to go skint.When I used to do the gigs I used to tell gags also so oh boy you better get ready to go skint as I say:rolleyes::p;)
Well girlfiend get ready to go skint.When I used to do the gigs I used to tell gags also so oh boy you better get ready to go skint as I say:rolleyes::p;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
Good??????There not good..................there so funny you would think you had died and gone to heaven and you were the only babe with aload of hunks......thats how good they are....now start saving yer dosh sweetheart;):p
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
Oh and theres me finking I was yer hero Fuzz:(:(:rolleyes::p
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
fuzzy butt;769113 wrote: OH shnookims.................................... don't be like that :DOk as long as you bring lots of bevvy so we can get well pished:wah:gawd I better start buying some headache stuff:driving:;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
fuzzy butt;769113 wrote: OH shnookims.................................... don't be like that :DEspecially for you babe;)
I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she replied On the morning of her
birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and
then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
The Death Slide
The Wall of Fear
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster Five hours later she staggered
out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt
upside down Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving
husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing
chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog,
popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.I meant my dress size, you bleedin idiot" (changed the real word she used:wah:)
The moral of this story : Even when a man is listening, he's still
gonna get it wrong. :rolleyes:;)
I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she replied On the morning of her
birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and
then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
The Death Slide
The Wall of Fear
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster Five hours later she staggered
out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt
upside down Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving
husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing
chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog,
popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.I meant my dress size, you bleedin idiot" (changed the real word she used:wah:)
The moral of this story : Even when a man is listening, he's still
gonna get it wrong. :rolleyes:;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Hello?
Carolly;769123 wrote: Especially for you babe;)
I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she replied On the morning of her
birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and
then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
The Death Slide
The Wall of Fear
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster Five hours later she staggered
out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt
upside down Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving
husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing
chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog,
popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.I meant my dress size, you bleedin idiot" (changed the real word she used:wah:)
The moral of this story : Even when a man is listening, he's still
gonna get it wrong. :rolleyes:;)
Oh dear me............. You made me chuckle now
Thanks
How tru both are.
What we see and what the other sees can be night and day..............
Now I gotta find another like these:driving:
I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she replied On the morning of her
birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and
then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
The Death Slide
The Wall of Fear
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster Five hours later she staggered
out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt
upside down Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving
husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing
chocolate milk shake.
Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog,
popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.I meant my dress size, you bleedin idiot" (changed the real word she used:wah:)
The moral of this story : Even when a man is listening, he's still
gonna get it wrong. :rolleyes:;)
Oh dear me............. You made me chuckle now
Thanks
How tru both are.
What we see and what the other sees can be night and day..............
Now I gotta find another like these:driving:
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."