Alcoholics Anonymous help me understand it

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:15 pm

I met a guy last spring, we have become pretty good friends, he is a recovering alcoholic. He has been clean for quite a number of years. He still goes to his AA meetings. He has no urges to drink (or so he tells me) I would like to understand more about this... is it something that never goes away? Are the meetings for life? He says it's perfectly ok for me to drink around him, but I don't feel the need or desire. I respect what he has gone through and admire his dedication to staying clean. I would just like to know more about the program and how long does one stick with it.

TheCat · Post by **TheCat** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:42 pm

I know people who have gone to it, and yeah its more than just going there when they have a craving. I guess people go there to know they'll be in a safe environment and around people they know and have shared experiences with.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:02 pm

Be very very careful with this Minks.... before you get emmotionally involved.

It has been my experience that AA takes the place of the bottle, but often AA now takes over the alcoholics life, There often is no room for anything else ( You ) How long has he been sober? I have great respect for long time recovered alcoholics, but not a lot of faith in the newbies. Also do some research on what they call " Dry Drunk" that personality can often be worse than the drunk personality. Im not talking through my hat here.... I have experience with this. I dont mean to be negative, but I dont want you hurt.

" The choices we make... dictate the lives we lead " Choosing an alcoholic almost 30 years ago to marry certainly colored the path of my life. Youve had your share of difficult times too.... you deserve the best, and I so want you to be happy. Love, Weeder

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:09 pm

Thanks weeder I wondered if that could be something, AA as a replacement addiction, or maybe a safe place to hide.

He has been clean for about 15 years. Oh don't you worry about my emotional involvement, he's a unique friend, has many an issue but is truly a charming person. He speaks often of AA and his meetings and the people from there and different incidents etc. I believe it's a very important part of his life I spose one day he will let me know more who knows. I am just curious is all.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:26 pm

15 years is very commendable.... and very secure. AA can be a very good thing. Im a liitle jaded as the recovery rate for alcoholics is very small. And a not often recognized secret is that alcoholoics are very charming people. They have a lot of heart, and feel things deeply. It has been my experience that I have been drawn to them for much of my life because they are very out of the ordinary people. A seriously recovered alcoholic is a true gem. All of the special qualities without the bad behavior of alcoholism.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:36 pm

Have you asked about attending an AA meeting with him? It could help you get more of an understanding. He may just like helping people. I can tell you an alcoholic does have an addictive personality. They don't like to do something they enjoy only half way. 15 years is great, but it doesn't mean it'll last forever. My husband had 20+ years of recovery and started drinking. Thankfully, it didn't last long, but it did destroy my trust in him.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:10 am

a recovering alchoholic is only ever one drink away from active alcoholism..