Blonde Jokes!!!

[Imladris]

Two blondes living in Dublin were sitting on a bench talking....... and

one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is further

away...London or the moon?'

The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooo, can you see London...?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes,

it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburettor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if

he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would

get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then

today you expect me to show it to you!'



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees

another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I

get to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down

the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her

body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show

me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,

then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee

and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.

Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you? 'Well, no' she

said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'



BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian

said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the

Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at

night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature. Her question

was,

'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off

Q: Why can't you tell blondes Knock Knock Jokes?

A: Because they go answer the door!!

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

First Blonde: 'I can't seem to get this door unlocked!'

Second Blonde: 'Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!'

[Sheryl]

:wah::wah: