Romancing with Coworkers

lalalala · Post by **lalalala** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:17 am

Has anyone ever had a relationship with a co-worker and did it work out for the best or did the relationship fall apart and now you don't talk to eachother?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:39 am

Ive had one. It was great in the beginning. We became a couple. Lasted 6 years. We do not speak now. Havent in 7 years. Your circumstance is probably different than mine was, however For the most part, I dont think its a great idea, if it can be avoided.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 12:57 pm

It's not a good idea - usually doesn't work

It's not good for the work environment

Patsy

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:13 pm

I did. Married him. We're happy and have been together over 10 years.

We do not work in the same department at work, though.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:38 pm

someone told me once..."don't mix your honey where you earn your money...you might end up losing both" . :wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:41 pm

guppy;713000 wrote: someone told me once..."don't mix your honey where you earn your money...you might end up losing both" . :wah:
So you're saying bee keepers are screwed?:D

Post by **spot** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:54 pm

lalalala;712911 wrote: Has anyone ever had a relationship with a co-worker and did it work out for the best or did the relationship fall apart and now you don't talk to eachother?

It's that word "relationship" that has me flummoxed - I had to go and look it up and even then I wasn't sure:M. LASKI Love on Supertax viii. 81 ‘Were you going to marry Lou?’ asked Clarissa... ‘We hadn't got further than a relationship,’ Sid said.

1974 J. GARDNER Corner Men v. 41 Bob and I weren't hallo young lovers. We had a relationship, but I wasn't in love with him.

1975 R. RENDELL Shake Hands for Ever viii. 76 ‘Did Mr Hathall have a special friendship with any girl here?’..‘Do you mean a relationship? D'you mean, was he sleeping with anyone?’

1977 Rolling Stone 30 June 62/2 People don't fall in love anymore, they have relationships.

1981 C. R. LAJEUNESSE Dead Man Running iii. 11 Rowena and I had a relationship at first, which had been a no-strings-attached affair. Then..she became serious and I had shied away.That's what you mean? A no-strings-attached affair with no intention to get permanent together? Great fun if you can manage it, complete disaster if only one of you subsequently changes the rules or it messes up your ability to work with everyone else around you. If you both make it an objective to stay friends afterwards then it's a great way to socialize. It's ten years since I last got entangled in an office.

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:42 pm

I did it once, very bad idea. Don't know that I'd do it again. that was 3 years ago.

There's a super nice man at my job who came on really strong when I was new. And I didn't know how to take it, considering he is everybodys' boss. So I kinda acted like I wanted to just be friends. He got discouraged and let me alone. then I liked him more. So now we are work friends. But he is on the other side of the bldg. in his own office. I shouldn't even write about it here.

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:43 pm

guppy;713000 wrote: someone told me once..."don't mix your honey where you earn your money...you might end up losing both" . :wah:

You can also say..."don't s h i t where you eat". .....

sorry.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:45 pm

:wah: Like my Father use to say to his men at work "Keep your ****** out of the payroll".. Pretty much says it all..

Post by **spot** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:14 pm

CARLA;713056 wrote: :wah: Like my Father use to say to his men at work "Keep your ****** out of the payroll".. Pretty much says it all..

It says it all, Carla, but it gives no reason for saying it. Why did he say it? What possible business is it of an employer if two workmates want to get their ends together? Or, for that matter, whether they're men or not? It sounds paternalist, sexist and as out of date as taking responsibility for the moral rectitude of your servants.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:55 pm

To answer the OP, I had a "thing" with a coworker and it was on again, off again for a year. He was quite a bit younger which accounts for the most of why it was handled so poorly at work but if I were to do it again, I'd keep silent about it and it would be under very different circumstances.

And I also want to say I agree with Spot 100%. I'm sick to death of the word relationship. In short it means whatever you want it to mean which means it means nothing. It's cheesy and prevents people from knowing what the h*** kind of transaction they're actually in. There's going to be someone here who says "we don't need labels for our love" but I beg to differ.

I'm not picking on the OP's choice of word either, just thanking Spot for bringing to light something that routinely pisses me off. And the worst is when someone says "I just got out of a relationship." It sounds like "I just got out of jail." What the hey is that?!

Post by **spot** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:13 pm

Since there's so much negativity in the air, can I put in my recommendation on the basis of first-hand experience? We both knew what we each wanted (which involved a major emotional aspect), why we each wanted it and how long we were going to want it (a year). We started out great friends, we stayed great friends, we still are great friends and we brightened up this town's nightlife so much that we deserve a medal. "Keep your ****** out of the payroll" and "don't **** where you eat" offend me, as you might have noticed.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:35 pm

Spot

You said it pg. 11 "out of date comment" its just that old statement

I'm sure Carla wasn't wanting to offend

Patsy

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 6:38 am

I had a very strict 'no dating coworkers rule'! I'd stay friends with them and only take it to another level once we were no longer working together.

I broke that rule when I met my husband but he's the only human I could stand to be around 24/7!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 6:52 am

My case is different. I worked where I work before my husband was elected as my my boss. In a way, it sucks because I feel like I can never get away from work, if we disagree on the way something is handled, we can't leave it at work. People thought he would let me do whatever I want when actually, he gives me more work to do. :wah:

My last boss, was seeing a girl that worked there. How his wife couldn't tell I'll never know! Perhaps she just didn't care? Anyways, it made for a bad work environment. It got to the point that she worked if she felt like it and the rest of us had to cover her shift if she didn't feel like working it.

Dating customers is not a good idea. Our married bartender started seeing a guy who lived with a woman for many years. The woman was making coming in unbearable for the customers. The phone would ring non-stop all night with hang up calls. We had the cops talk to her, the phone company refused to help. Finally, we got caller i.d. and call block. I blocked her a$$. :wah: Her next move was to slit the bartender's tire. I finally told her to start parking behind the building where noone would ever look. After a few MONTHS, things are finally getting better.

I guess, all in all, I feel it is a bad idea to mix business with pleasure.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:03 am

:wah: Easy Spot its just an old saying that my dad use in the 70's and 80's he built Airplanes for General Dynamics all men and a few women so the saying had meaning then.

Even though it was back in the day in reality most work place romances fail miserably and are still frowned apon in the work force for the simple reason the company may end up losing 2 good employees over a relationship gone bad.

I worked in a huge hospital for 22 years. They are the worst places on the planet for work romances and in all that time maybe 2 of the couple worked out all the rest were bitter and hateful to each other and left the organization because of it.

So Spot there is reason not to want your employees hooking up as they call it now.

It says it all, Carla, but it gives no reason for saying it. Why did he say it? What possible business is it of an employer if two workmates want to get their ends together? Or, for that matter, whether they're men or not? It sounds paternalist, sexist and as out of date as taking responsibility for the moral rectitude of your servants

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:17 am

I've never had a relationship with a co-worker. I work in a small office and would not even entertain the idea.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:53 am

I have never, and would never mix work with relationships, but by God it can be tempting sometimes.

You spend 8 hours a day working closely with people 5 days a week, it is hard not see them as more than just work colleagues sometimes, especially when there is a physical attraction.

If I allowed myself there have been some women that I could have easily fallen for, and I would be lying if I said that there weren’t one or two that I allow my imagination to run away with sometimes. But no, I keep business as business.

:-5:-5:-5:-5:-

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:05 pm

I've had relationships from the work-place before, I had to sit and think how about how many...all I can think of off the top of my head is 3.....there may be more...the last one was a secret (3 years ago) and until this day I don't think anyone knows that worked there, I've told no-one...

When I was married, I was discouraged from working because too many men would be hitting on me..........excuse me.............:wah::wah::wah: Okay, I'm okay now.....

I think it can work, but seems like only for certain people, one quality they have to posess is maturity....if it doesn't work out then they need to deal with it in a professional manner....just my opinion

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:00 pm

I don't find the concept of "keep it in your pants" to be too far from common sense. I also don't find it offensive.

What I do find offensive is the employer making that rule for its workers. It's not the employer's business to dictate what goes on in its workers' private life and while I'm at it, that goes for drugs and booze too. I would never work for a place with that kind of "relationships forbidden" policy.

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 5:26 pm

lalalala;712911 wrote: Has anyone ever had a relationship with a co-worker and did it work out for the best or did the relationship fall apart and now you don't talk to eachother?

I started a new job over a year ago. I started dating a man who is now my fiance. We're getting married in June '07. We still work together, and I absolutely love it.

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 4:26 pm

For seven years baby!!!! With the pharmacist I worked for, then suddenly with no explanation, wedding was off , no explanation, and ah, he doesnt know who I am anymore.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 4:57 pm

I have had 2

first was many years ago, I was the new kid to the company he was the golden boy, a small company and boy did they ever push for us to get together. It was fun, amazing and exciting. Pity it ended but he moved away and we lost touch.

secon again many years ago he was the owners son, his family had known mine for ages... we just kind of started to date. Tried to keep it a secret for as long as possible. It ended when he became a little weird and posessive. Nope don't talk to him either.

no harm in either.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 6:33 pm

I doubt it makes a difference whether we recommend it or not. In matters of the heart you are likely to follow your heart. If you are just talking about fooling around then I'd advise making a common vow of discretion and not talk about each other to coworkers. Agree to keep your affairs private.

visacard · Post by **visacard** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:28 am

I've had one, it got messy cause she had an bf as well. Not pretty, cause then i confronted her, made her choose. she ended up going out with another guy, not her bf atm the time nor me. That backfired big time.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:55 am

I met my husband through 'work', okay it was a part-time voluntary thing but work nonetheless. (Alright, I admit it - he was wearing a uniform and I just looooove a man in uniform):sneaky:

Then when we married I started working for him in his business, once I got used to the job we became partners in the business and I loved working with him. Yes, we had our rows and we talked about work in our time off but it was good.

Since we sold that business I miss working with him, I don't see so much of him and I enjoy his company - the gumpy grandad that he is!!