why doesn't she understand me?

ketan · Post by **ketan** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:21 am

i love a girl name "babli", it's a nick-name given her by me. she doesn't love me at all but she cares for me like hell... she may get engaged soon with anyone, her father will chose. she just want to see her father happy.. and in her family intercast marriage is not possible at all, she said. she even doesn't want to put a talk in front of her brother too. and she's not letting me do so.. i'm in hell,,,, there's a lot i ant to say about this and about my life but.... u know that's enough for some people who understand... if nobody's there... then... nevermind.!!!!!

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:39 am

ketan;684576 wrote: i love a girl name "babli", it's a nick-name given her by me. she doesn't love me at all but she cares for me like hell... she may get engaged soon with anyone, her father will chose. she just want to see her father happy.. and in her family intercast marriage is not possible at all, she said. she even doesn't want to put a talk in front of her brother too. and she's not letting me do so.. i'm in hell,,,, there's a lot i ant to say about this and about my life but.... u know that's enough for some people who understand... if nobody's there... then... nevermind.!!!!!

Ketan,this is very sad.Of course the westerners find arranged marriages difficult to understand.There must be thousands of young people going through an emotional turmoil like you and Babli.It is even harder for the young Asian people who have been raised in the West,and want to choose their own partner.I wish I could give you some advice but I cannot.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:57 am

i dont understand you either ,why dont you just move on and find someone else that wants to marry you

i mean fancy not even being able to tell her brother about things .. move on .. how do you imagine it working with the whole family against you

i hear guppy is single now :sneaky:

so is pinky and ww :sneaky:

and suzy b maybe any minute if she dont cheer up and stop tapping my lap top with that bottle :rolleyes:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:15 am

jimbo;684606 wrote: i dont understand you either ,why dont you just move on and find someone else that wants to marry you

i mean fancy not even being able to tell her brother about things .. move on .. how do you imagine it working with the whole family against you

i hear guppy is single now :sneaky:

so is pinky and ww :sneaky:

and suzy b maybe any minute if she dont cheer up and stop tapping my lap top with that bottle :rolleyes:

Suzy, could you hit his head with the bottle please???

I wish I could help and not the way that Jimbo is suggesting....I hope everything works out for you and welcome to the garden:-6

Post by **spot** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:52 am

She's said already that she's absolutely not going to be anything more than a friend, there's nothing you can do after that. Trying to change her mind would not be a good thing to do. Staying a friend would be far more helpful to her.

Patrick · Post by **Patrick** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:39 pm

Like you said she doesn't love you. Why would want to be with someone who doesn't love you.

There are 6 billion people in the world. Half of those are women. Let’s say a sixth of those are within your age range and aren't hooked up already. That's 500 million women to run after (a conservative estimate).

Every pot has its lid. You'll find yours and she will love you which will put you ahead of the game with the poor schlub Babli does marry but probably won't love either. They got a word for people you spend life with but don’t love… cell mates.

Stick around here. It would be great to hear from you here and know that everything has worked out.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:45 pm

Why continue to hurt yourself this way. She isn't going to love you so find someone who will. You can't make someone love you so stop trying and give your heart to someone who truly cares and loves you.

watermark · Post by **watermark** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:15 pm

Hello ketan-

I'm not trying to be unkind. This is the way I see it. Could be different for all I know. The reason this girl does not understand you is that possibly you have not understood her. She may not be attracted to you in "that way". This does not mean that you are a worthless piece of, hmm....,____________ (you fill in the blank), I don't want to bias your opinion of yourself! Any way.... realize something, ketan, she may not understand your behavior because you are coming from two different directions. This isn't a bad thing

just means that she does not have the hots for you like you have for her. Maybe she does have the hots for you and she is pretending that she doesn't because she thinks this is a fun game. Why someone in their right mind would think this is fun is beyond me, but who knows? Perhaps she could come to love you in time. Personally, I don't know about this option. She has to have some degree of love or attraction for you for this to happen, and you have to have some driving force to determine this. Good looks? Self-sufficiency? Adventure? Personality? Spiritual connection? What I'm saying, ketan, is it's not as simple as it seems. You can't just 'have' someone because you want it that way. I'm no love expert, not by a long shot, but there has to be some connection, a "love" connection, agreed? If you aren't being realistic about this then I don't know what to say. Sometimes people get love obsessed, and can't understand another person's perspective because they are too invested in their own vision. Are you like this? Is it time for reflection? Happiness ahead for you at any rate! I hope you find the love of your life.

Erin

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 12:49 pm

-watermark, well said!!!