Imagine that, a blonde joke!!

[valerie]

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But, I always buy it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .........."TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM".

[john8pies]

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha................and OUCH!!!

[Wolverine]

A blode is commuting to work one day and sees another blonde in the middle of a wheat field, rowing a boat.

The 1st blonde comes to a screaching halt and jumps out of her car.

" Ya know," she screams,"it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad reputation!"

"What? I have to get across these Amber Waves to get to work."

"Holy Crap!" the first woman says, flabberghasted. "If I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and Kick your @$$."

[Jives]

Blonde yells to another blonde from one sode of a river to the other:

"Hey! How do I get to the other side?"

The other Blonde answers back:

"You are on the other side!"



Two blondes are sitting on a porch in Oklahoma and one blonde asks,

"Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the Moon?"

The other blonde answers,

"Duh! Can you see Florida from here?"



Blond gets frustrated because she got stood up for a ride,

"I don't get it, I told him to meet me at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk" an hour ago!"

[Wolverine]

ok, I don't know the joke set-up. All I remember is the punchline...

Thanks to YOU, my mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, the dog ran away, my @$$ hurts, and Dad is walking around the house saying,

"Here, Keeetee, keeetee, keeetee!"

has anyone heard that joke??? I would like to know what the setup is.

[BTS]

Did you hear about the guy out in Palm Springs walking down the street and sees a kid selling perfectly good golf balls for 25 cents each? Too good of a deal to pass up he loads up his front pockets with them. After continuing on his stroll he stops for a rest on a park bench. A great looking blonde sits down next to him and stares quizzically at his pants. He quickly says "Golf balls" to which she asks "Does that hurt worse than tennis elbow?"

[ice maiden]

There were three women sitting in a doctor's office, a blond, a

brunette, and a red-head. They were all pregnant.

"I'm having a boy because I was on the bottom," said the brunette.

"Well, I'm having a girl because I was on top," said the red-head.

All of a sudden the blond started crying. They asked her what was

wrong. "I'm having puppies," exclaimed the blond.

[ice maiden]

A blond was a house keeper an old man's house he asked her to have sex with him and she said no because she wanted him to get tested for HIV first, so he did. He brought back the results and he came out negative. She had sex with him and when they were done, he said so i guess blondes aren't really that stupid, and she says yeah i just didnt want to get HIV twice.

[ice maiden]

Blonde at a party, was telling her friend that she'd gone off men for life. "They lie, they cheat, and they're just no good," she moaned. "From now on when I want sex, I'm going to use my tried and tested plastic companion," she said. "What happens when the batteries run out?" asked her friend. "That's simple," replied the Blonde. "I'll just fake an orgasm as usual."





thats it i'm done all out of my system now

[abbey]

Thats it, i'm going to dye my hair brown!

[ice maiden]

sorry babe my hair is also blonde :-4

[abbey]

ice maiden wrote: sorry babe my hair is also blonde :-4Just kidding,;) here's my contribution...



A blonde became so sick of hearing blonde

jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days

later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped

her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly

creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many

sheep you have, can I take one?"

The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."

The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason

said, "352."

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably,

totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to

my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally

picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of

the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K.,

now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair

color, can I have my dog back?"

[LottomagicZ4941]

found on

http://www.talkandmore.net/showthread.p ... #post42605

"Two blondes walk into a bar. . .







. . . you would've thought they would see it."



Lotto

http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniver ... .fmainchat

MagicZ4941A

[pina]

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are

Not Stupid Convention."



The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that

blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde steps up. The

leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says,

"Eighteen."



Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start

cheering, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."



The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000

of you and the worldwide press here, I guess we can give her another

chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she

eventually says, "Ninety?"



The leader is quite perplexed and sighs -- everyone is

disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to

yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance, give her

another chance." The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm

than damage, eventually says, "OK!, one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"



The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually says,

"Four." Through out the stadium 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave

their arms, stomp their feet and scream, "Give her another chance, give

her another chance!"

[telaquapacky]

Dat wuz good, Pina.

Blond girl takes her car to the body shop (panel beater) to repair some dents. The guy decides to have some fun with her.

"These dents are small. All's ya gotta do is put your lips around the tailpipe and blow and they'll pop right out."

So she goes home, and is in the garage blowing into the tailpipe of her car to pop the dents out when her blonde roommate comes in, and says, "Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm trying to blow the dents out of my car like the body shop guy said, but it's not working."

"Well, DUH! You have to roll up the windows!"

[pina]

That was a good one too.:yh_rotfl





Heres one I heard today......not a blonde joke.









An immigrant applying for asylum in the country is told that he must pass a series of tests, having completed all but one, he is told by the asylum officer that he has one final test to complete,

The asylum officer tells him that he must make a sentence up using the words green, pink and yellow.



The officer asks have you made a sentence with those words yet. The immigrant replies yes,

"When the phone rings it go greeen greeen greeen, I pink it up, and say yellow this is Mr Raffsanjani speaking.



The punch line is Mr Raffsanjani is now working at a call centre near you.

[telaquapacky]

How can you tell the stage is level?

The banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth

What do you have when you put seven banjo players together in one room?

Almost enough teeth for a full set

[BTS]

telaquapacky wrote: How can you tell the stage is level?

The banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth



What do you have when you put seven banjo players together in one room?

Almost enough teeth for a full set Hmmm Sounds like Oildale to me...........LOL. Trouts or maybe even the old Blackboard

[telaquapacky]

BTS wrote: Hmmm Sounds like Oildale to me...........LOL. Trouts or maybe even the old BlackboardI can't believe you recognized the Oildale joke! In fact, I originally wrote three off-color Oildale jokes, but edited them out to avoid offending, and adapted the teeth joke to banjo players. BTS, you know that Bakersfield is the gateway to Oildale!

[Wolverine]

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

[Wolverine]

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."