Another hypothetical

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:28 am

You've been raped, you find out your pregnant.

Do you keep the baby? If so what do you tell it when it asks about its Dad?

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:35 am

OMG BC you are on top form this afternoon:-2

that is a hard one will have to think about that one BC

Post by **spot** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:37 am

I would visit my General Practitioner, admit a measure of confusion and ask whether he'd prefer to write me up in the Lancet or the News Of The World.

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:41 am

buttercup;674278 wrote: You've been raped, you find out your pregnant.

Do you keep the baby? If so what do you tell it when it asks about its Dad?

I can say......hand on heart..... YES - I would keep the child!!

As to what I would tell the child about it's father - I have no idea!

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:45 am

right i have gave some thought,i think it is best to be honest

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:46 am

spot;674283 wrote: I would visit my General Practitioner, admit a measure of confusion and ask whether he'd prefer to write me up in the Lancet or the News Of The World.

:wah: very droll spot

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:00 am

I would not have the child.

Unequivocally not.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:02 am

RedGlitter;674293 wrote: I would not have the child.

Unequivocally not.

good honest reply red, :rolleyes:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:14 am

Thanks Neffy. Probably not the popular opinion, but it is honest.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:20 am

I would not have the child either Red.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:20 am

I'd keep the baby 100% sure of that, and when it came time...well the child didn't need to know the specifics....things didn't work out, the child doesn't need to know that thier father was a piece of crap. I know many children that DO know that and it hurts them deeply.....What is important is that the child was meant to be conceived, not how it was, as horrifying as it was for the woman.

I know a few adults that are products of rape, and I'm thankful that they are here today, and I admire the women that went through very tough times to bring them here. It definately would be a selfless act if you ask me....which ya did.

[love]light · Post by **[love]light** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:26 am

Well, I am unwilling to have children in the first place. If I was raped? It would be extremely difficult to have an abortion, but I believe I would.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:35 am

I don't know what I would do in that situation and I won't even try and guess how I would react, until you've walked in those shoes etc etc.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:04 am

I would not keep the child. I am not saying that I think it is morally right to end the pregnancy. But for a host of very serious possibilitys, and because I know who I am.... I would not keep the pregnancy.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:06 am

I have no idea. I'm like Betty, couldn't tell till I walked i those shoes.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:22 am

It is hard to guess what you would do. I doubt that I could abort the baby, but I'm not sure if I would raise it or put it up for adoption.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:10 am

Peg;674378 wrote: It is hard to guess what you would do. I doubt that I could abort the baby, but I'm not sure if I would raise it or put it up for adoption.

in one way i agree with you peg, i would of wonder how the child would feel knowing it is here because there mum was raped,and what affects it would have on them for life

DelicateDominatrix · Post by **DelicateDominatrix** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:15 am

buttercup;674278 wrote: You've been raped, you find out your pregnant.

Do you keep the baby? If so what do you tell it when it asks about its Dad?

Oh wow a heavy topic and strangely enough I had a dream of that very thing lol.

I would keep the baby of course :-4

I would tell him/her that their father passed away before he/she was born.I know its a lie,but I believe if a child knew the truth,that it can cause damage to their minds and the way they view themselves."My dad is a rapist,whats that make me" is not an issue I want my child to ever have.

I also might tell them that things didnt work out between us and we live seperate lives. Maybe thats not right but thats my opinion.

Good question BC

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:57 am

NO

Patsy

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:06 pm

DelicateDominatrix;674419 wrote: Oh wow a heavy topic and strangely enough I had a dream of that very thing lol.

I would keep the baby of course :-4

I would tell him/her that their father passed away before he/she was born.I know its a lie,but I believe if a child knew the truth,that it can cause damage to their minds and the way they view themselves."My dad is a rapist,whats that make me" is not an issue I want my child to ever have.

I also might tell them that things didnt work out between us and we live seperate lives. Maybe thats not right but thats my opinion.

Good question BC

lillia;674430 wrote: I would have the baby - no question - any child that comes from me is my baby, my child and has my unconditional love.

As for what I would tell it about the father? I would not tell the child it was conceived from rape. Lies are not good, but in this case it is the lesser of two evils. I would have to come up with some story about the father and why it is not possible to trace him.

Thank you ladies.

I had a hard time coming up with the right words without anger.

For me. There is no question. The child is born.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:16 pm

I'm finding myself getting very angry in this thread especially now but as there are some members at FG who are very close to this issue, out of respect for them I will not comment further.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 1:10 pm

Unless you've been raped ??

Rape alone is like impossible to get over - than to have a child from that rape?

This would be a child conceived from a night mare.

Can you honestly think by keeping this baby/child would be good for anyone involved? Can you honestly feel - looking at this baby wouldn't remind you of that night mare? Do you honestly feel this baby/child would receive as much & the same Love as the other children?

Consider yourself married at the time of the Rape - would your husband stay in this relationship and "LOVE" this child the same?

Ladies its not the same.

Patsy

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 1:35 pm

My sister was a drug addict, Her long time mate ( never married was also)

They both died from complications related to aids.

Before my sister died, she made certain to leave a child on this earth for my mom to raise. He was born addicted to drugs... with 2 gaping holes in the main arteries of his heart. He has characteristics of fetal alcohol syndrome.

Now 18, he has been in and out of jail at least 6 times, because he is a few slices short of a loaf.

If a man raped me, and I did not know who he was,,, or anything about him, I would have no way of knowing what horrors medically could be inherited by that innocent child conceived. It could mean a horrible life for the child. And I would never be able to committ myself to a situation that would be totally unfair for me. No one is meant to be punished that way.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 3:15 pm

i'd just like to say a few words in case any one else out there is what i am a result of a baby by a rape ,my grandfather on my dads side and my mother before she died told me i was conceived by a rape ,in those days if there was a baby you had to stick together end of the matter ,ok life has been awful as both my parents pretty much hated me and i was a wretched unloved child my grandparents and my unlce and aunt brought me up ,wether i was a bonus to the world i doubt it but my beautiful children are try telling them they should not of been born

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 3:22 pm

I can't make this decision until it happens, I don't know how I would react period.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 4:09 pm

jimbo;674539 wrote: i'd just like to say a few words in case any one else out there is what i am a result of a baby by a rape ,my grandfather on my dads side and my mother before she died told me i was conceived by a rape ,in those days if there was a baby you had to stick together end of the matter ,ok life has been awful as both my parents pretty much hated me and i was a wretched unloved child my grandparents and my unlce and aunt brought me up ,wether i was a bonus to the world i doubt it but my beautiful children are try telling them they should not of been born

IMG]http://s167.photobucket.com/albums/u123 ... dchris.jpg[/IMG]

Well Jim, I hope this comes out right....... The rape that resulted in your being here, I wouldnt have wished not to have happened. Despit all of my reasons to terminate a pregancy resulting from rape... Im glad your mom didnt have an abortion. And as far as your nightmare upbringing goes...I die inside when I hear what those people did to you. You are a life lesson. That a loving wonderful person could come out of such painful circumstances. What else can I say? If I could do something to make it all up to you, I would. But then it seems like God sent an angel your way named Susie.... So everything is good. Scoop up the love man, you deserve it.

[

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 4:53 pm

I don't understand Red's anger. I think Peg's idea bears repeating.

God forbid that any woman anywhere has to endure rape, but should any of my FG friends find themselves pregnant from such a horrendous act: If choose against abortion, and if raising the result of violence also seems unbearable, remember that there are thousands who would gladly adopt the child, regardless of perceived flaws.

Remember that adoption is that third option.

Post by **Victor Meldrew** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:03 pm

If I were female and had been made pregnant by a rapist the I would have an abortion

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:51 pm

weeder;674565 wrote: Well Jim, I hope this comes out right....... The rape that resulted in your being here, I wouldnt have wished not to have happened. Despit all of my reasons to terminate a pregancy resulting from rape... Im glad your mom didnt have an abortion. And as far as your nightmare upbringing goes...I die inside when I hear what those people did to you. You are a life lesson. That a loving wonderful person could come out of such painful circumstances. What else can I say? If I could do something to make it all up to you, I would. But then it seems like God sent an angel your way named Susie.... So everything is good. Scoop up the love man, you deserve it.

[

thanks weeder

:-6

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:05 am

jimbo;674734 wrote: thanks weeder

:-6

i think jimbo like everyone on this earth you are meant to be here,there are reasons why we are born.:-4:-4

you are a very caring man and that i feel is just one of the reasons

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:15 am

neffy;674739 wrote: i think jimbo like everyone on this earth you are meant to be here,there are reasons why we are born.:-4:-4

its a tough one if my daughter was raped and was pregnant ,i'd probably in all honesty say it would be for the best for a termination to take place ,if she decided to keep the baby i would do all in my power to make sure that child had a fully loved childhood and knew he/she was loved .after all once born that baby is a unique human being and is equal to every other human being on this planet ,my own daughter was raped and it has been one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with and indeed brought back many feelings about my own life that i thought were long forgotten ,there is no right or wrong answer here folks

just some times in my life i have been made to feel dirty or i was worthless due to the way i came into the world and that kinda sucks a little after all it had nothing to do with me

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:16 am

It's my view that children should not be held accountable (sorry no pun intended) for the misdoings of either of their parents. Who knows how any child will turn out?

And then, rape covers a wide area of degrees - from consensual underage statutory rape, to going a bit further than you meant to on a date, to unbelievable degradation and violence.

I'm with Betty Boop and Carla. It's so hard to know what you will do in a situation unless you are actually there.

But - I thought these days rape victims were routinely given early medical treatment for venereal disease, and the morning-after pill. I'm all for that.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:17 am

AussiePam;674743 wrote: It's my view that children should not be held accountable (sorry no pun intended) for the misdoings of either of their parents. Who knows how any child will turn out?

And then, rape covers a wide area of degrees - from consensual underage statutory rape, to going a bit further than you meant to on a date, to unbelievable degradation and violence.

I'm with Betty Boop and Carla. It's so hard to know what you will do in a situation unless you are actually there.

But - I thought these days rape victims were routinely given early medical treatment for venereal disease, and the morning-after pill. I'm all for that.

probably the best post so far in my opinion :-6

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:24 am

jimbo;674742 wrote: its a tough one if my daughter was raped and was pregnant ,i'd probably in all honesty say it would be for the best for a termination to take place ,if she decided to keep the baby i would do all in my power to make sure that child had a fully loved childhood and knew he/she was loved .after all once born that baby is a unique human being and is equal to every other human being on this planet ,my own daughter was raped and it has been one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with and indeed brought back many feelings about my own life that i thought were long forgotten ,there is no right or wrong answer here folks

just some times in my life i have been made to feel dirty or i was worthless due to the way i came into the world and that kinda sucks a little after all it had nothing to do with me

i agree with you jimbo,it was not the same for me,but my mum had affair and i was the result,my real dad was from Asia somewhere and in the 60's that was a no no.

My brother found this only found this in 1983 and to the day he died 4 years ago he never spoke to me,like you said it was not my fault.

Thanks jimbo for being honest.:-4

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:28 am

I believe if you go to a hospital after a rape you are offered the 'morning after pill' and that way you'd never know whether the rape would have impregnated you or not. That's what I would do.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:23 am

And then, rape covers a wide area of degrees - from consensual underage statutory rape, to going a bit further than you meant to on a date, to unbelievable degradation and violence.
Just so we're clear, I think only one of these constitutes rape. It lessens the impact of rape to include any kind of consensual sex in the definition, IMO.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:24 am

There are so many factors to consider before making a decision - age of victim, who the rapist was (if he was known by the victim), circumstances of the victim (married, under-age, financial position)

How about if this was probably your only chance to have a baby - would you get rid of it then. What about if the baby was going to be mixed-race in a family of bigots?

There are all sorts of situations and no-one should feel bad about choosing not to have a baby that is the result of hate not love.

I don't know what I would have done if I was in that position, I like to think I would have been strong enough to carry on and have the baby and love it regardless but something tells me that I wouldn't.