Friends Of Carol Part 1

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:37 am

Hello. Guess who?:wah: Yes im still on holiday and having a great time. we are in Weymouth at the moment right on the south coast and its a beautiful day! We have walked all around the Harbour and had a look at a few shops in the town,, then hubby spotted the bookies so i said oh ok go and have a few bets i will entertain myself, (after spoting the Internet cafe of course:wah:). tell ya what its good to get out the sunn for a little while, i was burning. we have also been to Poole and Salisbury so far. OUr cottage is a lovely little bungalow for 2 and has grape vines growing along the roof edge. The garden is quite big and has 2 ponds and a hot tub that we can use whenever we like, and the owners sre real friendly and helpful, My hubs says they are top sports people but i dont know who lol. Anyway keep behaving yourselves u lot, and its nice to see the 2 pinky's popping in:wah: I dont know if i can get on msn on this, i will go and try now. Take care everyone:-4 Kaz. xxxxxxxxxx

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:46 am

Im on msn!! woo hoo... cept no one else is on :wah::-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:49 am

:guitarist

I'M ON KAZ, I GOT YOUR POP-UP ON MY SCREEN, SO I CLICKED IT AND LEFT A MESSAGE FOR YOU MATEY, BUT YOU HAVEN'T GOT BACK ! :-1

IT'S SAYING THE MESSAGE COULD NOT BE DELIVERED TO ALL RECIPIENTS.

XXX

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:52 am

:guitarist

Apparently Kaz, you are using WEB MESSENGER, not Windows Live Messenger !

xxx

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:54 am

:guitarist

Praps you can download Windows Live Messenger matey !!!! :wah:

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:48 am

Well i got on msn and had a bit natter to Gill,,, was nice chatting to you Gill... sorry n o one else was on. Now im offf to find a shop where i can get somne sunscreen as my shoulders are starting to burn:wah: See you all later take care :yh_hugs Kaz.

Ali. · Post by **Ali.** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:31 am

Hello girls,been flat out for the past 2 weeks with my boys being here,couldnt get within cooee of the computer,Its wednesday night 10.30 my boys are on their way to london as I type seen them off at the airport this afternoon.Feeling a bit down now,sad, miss them already.they arrive in london at 5.30 in the morning.There for a week then off th Europe for 2 months,then munick for the beer fest and onto Canada to work at one of the ski resorts.The house is so quiet now, very very sad.Hope you are all well.:yh_sad:yh_cry:yh_sad

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:51 am

OH GREAT TO SEE OUR KAZ HERE AND ALI!!!!!XXX

Glad yer enjoying yerself Kaz and I must have just missed you on MSN ...I didnt know you done it an Ive just text you how you can get on MSN otherwise. We are missing you Mrsxxxx

Ahhhhh Ali (((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))) hope to chat soon my lovely friend and thinking of you babexxxx

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:59 am

Hello everybody, hope you're all OK, nice to see you Ali, so don't be a stranger matey ! Don't suppose Carol will be posting today - she's orf out again, so enjoy Carol ! xxx

Helen, I do hope you can get that internet connection sorted ! What a pain, as if you need anything else to mess you about ! xxx

Well Kaz and Joan are holidaying so I hope the weather is OK for you both ! xxx

Neffy hope things are OK with you, and I meant to say happy birthday to JJ !

Sorry JJ xxx

All of you have a good day today, and Neffy I think it's going to rain again today, and more tomorrow, so enjoy your rain - aint you had enough yet Mrs ???? Just think of poor Carol, she's trying to earn a living and depends on good weather for that !

The council grass cutters are very busy outside my house, as is my hubby Chris, busy cutting grass before it rains this afternoon ! There will no doubt be thunder and lightning again - Oh deep joy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:13 am

While writing about my experience driving in a terrific thunderstorm, it reminded of an exceedingly traumatic occurence which happened in the late 70s. There again it was on a night when I had a gig, this time in south Leicester. When I drove to the gig it was raining and there was quite a wind, so I drove fairly sedately. The weather forecast had warned of fairly high winds due overnight, so I wasn't too worried because I would be finished my gig and safely home.

We played the gig, and were packing our gear up at the end when somebody said there was a helluva wind blowing outside ! Sure enough, we battled against the wind to load the vehicles, and it took longer than usual fighting the wind, and at that point the lashing rain. We all lived in different directions, so we couldn't drive in a convoy to look out for each other - so off we went, carefully. It was about 1.00 am as I made my way cautiously into the centre of Leicester. The high wind had arrived early, and although it was a Saturday night/Sunday morning, the streets were almost deserted, there was the occasional car but no people walking on the pavements. The wind was buffeting my Morris 1000 Traveller (half timbered car - to any Aussies, or Americans !), and I had to be very alert to sudden gusts pushing me from the sides. I was amazed to see that the wind had blown the traffic lights right round so they were no longer facing the appropriate lanes of traffic (what traffic !), so I slowly battled my way across these junctions. Road signs were drunkenly swaying, there was a street light still connected to it's cables and lying across the pavement, and I thought crikey that could be dangerous, as it was still 'live' and sparking. There were shop awnings ripped away from their anchor points and flapping madly. Solid things, I couldn't tell what, were being hurled across the road in front and behind me. God this was frightening ! If one of those big metal road signs comes adrift, the wind could easily carry it like a discus and it would slice my car and me in half ! I suddenly felt very alone, and terribly vulnerable, I just had to get out of these buildings. I gripped my wheel very tightly against the buffeting and pressed on at a very cautious 15-20 mph. Another car came out of a side road ahead of me, also very cautiously, it was a taxi and I can remember thinking 'you poor sod, you've got to work in this stuff and get people home safely, all amongst these buildings !'

I pressed on, carefully picking my way round rolling dustbins and other unidentified objects that were littered about the road. It seemed to take ages to reach the north side of Leicester and the less hazardous open dual carriageway. I thanked God that my son was sleeping at my mother's house, and my husband was on night duty. There was nobody at home to worry about my late arrival. I reached the A46 (Fosse Road) and pressed on northward, but I still had nearly 20 miles to drive before I could relax at home. There was absolutely nothing on the A46 in either direction - sensible people. I drove in the outside lane all the way along, to keep as far away as possible from roadside trees, road signs etc, and to give me as much warning as possible of any missiles flying across from my left, because that was the direction this violent wind was coming from. It was the most terrifying drive I have ever done, I knew that at any moment a huge roadside metal sign could come crashing across the road at me, and what chance would I have of avoiding it ! I could see to my left amazing pink and blue flashing explosions, illuminating the angry night sky, fortunately they seemed quite distant and I can remember hoping that nobody was getting hurt.

I turned off the main road eventually and drove slowly down the lane to my village, half way down the hill I had to navigate carefully round a fallen tree, then as I approached another rise in the lane I saw poles and wires all over the road. For the first time in my journey I stopped. I looked very carefully at these cables and wires through my windscreen, tracing them back to their pole. I realised, with relief, that they were telegraph poles and not electricity, so without getting out of my car I carefully picked my way through to the clear lane beyond. I thought, well that's my phone out of action for the foreseable future! As I drove up the main village street, I saw roof tiles shattered all over the road, branches, bins, even small barrels rolling to and fro. With a great sense of relief and achievement I turned into my gateway, stopped the car, thanked it very much for getting me home, turned off the engine and glanced around. The newly built house at the back of our back garden had lost most of it's ridge tiles and some roof tiles, the house next door had a small tree down, and the wind had not abated one bit. Our old cottage showed no damage at all. I just sat for a moment with relief, then I unloaded all my gear into the cottage for safety, just in case the chimney should come down on my car - I had another gig the next day ! I knew Chris would be OK coming home, he was driving our LWB Landrover ! That journey, which would normally take about an hour, took me nearly two and a half hours, and boy was I knackered!

They admitted in the following day's weather forecast that winds of up to hurricane force had been experienced in some parts of the country !!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:12 am

Can't find me 'driving in a thunderstorm' story anywhere ! Has somebody pinched it ? Any way I don't want you to miss it so I'll post it again ! :-5

Now this following 'story' is perfectly true, but is so amazing, it is difficult to believe ! When you've read it perhaps you have had a similar experience, or you may know somebody who has, well maybe you could tell us about it.

Many years ago I used to play electric guitar and sing in a band, playing at gigs in Leicestershire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Derbyshire. One night we had a gig at Stamford in Lincolnshire which finished at midnight, so by the time we'd packed all our gear into our cars and changed from our stage clothes it was nearly 1.00 am before I set off home. It was a really foul night weather wise, the Heavens had opened and the rain was like a tropical monsoon. I came out of Stamford and got onto the A1 northbound, there was nobody else in the car. I turned off the A1 onto the A52 at Grantham and travelled towards Nottingham. At this point a terrific thunderstorm had developed, and there was so much lightning that the darkness of the night was turned into constant daylight. The rain was still torrential and my speed was no more than 35 mph, it just wasn't safe to go any faster. I thought ' well I ain't going to get home till nearer 2.30 am at this rate ' so i settled down for a slow drive home. The whole spectacle of the storm was truly amazing. There was very little traffic on the road which was a relief, but, as the road was swimming with water, I was gripping the wheel fairly strongly just in case I hit a disguised puddle and it tried to pull my wheels. I had just gone through a village called Elston and was running down a long straight piece of road. The lightining was flashing constantly still and the thunder was dreadfully loud, and I was glad there was no traffic and no headlights to add to my problems. Suddenly there was an indescribably bright flash immediately to my left with an instantaneous huge crash of thunder - 'God that was close !' . My steering wheel never moved an inch and my grip on the wheel was still just as strong. To my horror I was driving on the wrong side of the road ! Thank God there was nothing coming the other way ! I steered back to the correct side of the road, and my knees started knocking - how the hell did that happen? A moment later an articulated lorry came round the curve at the bottom of this straight and headed towards me - if he'd been 10 secs earlier, there would have been a head-on and instant stopping at a closing speed of 75-80 mph doesn't leave much of a car or the occupant when it hits a lorry!

I was told later on that it is possible for a lightning strike as close as that must have been to my car would be quite capable of pushing a moving solid object sideways particularly as the surface of the road gave no resistance due to the water on it. What a terrifying thought! We're all told that lightning doesn't strike a moving object, and in any case when you are in a vehicle you are insulated by the tyres. But, it seems, you are not totally safe when you are driving in a thunderstorm, so just be alert and cut your speed right down.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:39 am

WAKEY WAKEY !!!!!!!!!!

AM I THE ONLY ONE AWAKE ROUND HERE ??????? :-5

OOOH COME ON SOMEBODY, GIVE US A HAND. TELL US WHAT YOU BEEN DOING TODAY. TELL US WHERE YOU'VE BEEN. TELL US WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING FOR TOMORROW - POSSIBLY DUSTING DOWN THE DINGHY IN THE GARAGE, AND FISHING OUT THE OARS READY FOR ALL THE EXTRA RAIN THAT'S BEEN PROMISED !

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:52 am

:guitarist

I probably won't be able to get on here tomorrow, got a lot of work to do, so hope everybody has a good day, and keep dry !!!:-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:13 pm

:guitarist

Probably won't be on over the weekend either, there's nobody to talk to ! I really don't want to be taken away by funny little men in white coats - talkin to myself.

I know Helen is having difficulty with her internet connection, Kaz is on holiday, Joan is on holiday, not sure where Neffy is, not sure where Kay is, or Ali or anybody else, except Carol is in and out and I don't think she knows where she is pmsl .

It's bloody lonely here. I'm going to watch TV and talk to my dog, and make a cup of tea, well it's a mug actually.

If I ramble on for a bit somebody may just join me here ! There's nobody on MSN either. Is everybody on holiday, or have they all drowned in the rain?

-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:20 pm

:guitarist

Goodnight everybody xxx

-1

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:25 pm

i feel so bloody lonely :yh_sad

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:38 pm

Hi everybody, you are all probably tucked up in bed asleep with the time difference.

awwwwwww Neffy ask Carol or ali for my msn and add me cant have you feeling lonely:yh_hugs.

Got another baby girl she is 4 months old and her name is Latesha. Big girl, nearly breaks my back to pick her up

. Brrrrrrr another cold day cant wait for summer and then I can complain about the heat

Anyhow I am off to the arcade, take care all and luv to you Neffy :-4

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:06 am

hey everyone.

just switched it on and here i am,

the mad peeler.!!

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:49 am

OH GAWD OUR BOSS IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN:yh_rotfl. Why aint nobody talking to the old dear:wah:......you know she goes into one......its her age yer know;). Now I fink Im not at home at the ,moment pmsl cause Im at Chris's but when Im not here I will be at home...........gawd if that aint double dutch what is ffs lol.Hope to talk soon Kay an you can tell me all about the new baby. Neffy you can always join us on MSN if you leave me yer details babe.....we dont bite....well I dont anyway lol.Good to see Helen back. Love to everyone and hope to chat tomorrow night guys when im at home.Keep dry till then :wah:xxxxxxCarol

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 12:15 pm

:guitarist

Well hope you're all OK ! Not drowned I trust

Just popped on to say Helen is having troubles. Her landlady has disconnected her router connection. Helen doesn't have a landline so is dependant on her landlady's landline for her internet connection. Just don't know what that landlady is trying to do FFS. Some people can be extraordinarily mean don't you think ?

Sorry Helen for putting this on here. I'll delete it if you want me to. But I feel so angry that some people can be so miserable towards others, when they don't deserve it. Helen hasn't got a nasty bone in her body, and I wish I lived nearer to Cornwall. Praps it's just as well I don't else I would get arrested for what I would do.

People should be nicer to each other, life is far too short.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 12:34 pm

G#Gill;664284 wrote: :guitarist

Well hope you're all OK ! Not drowned I trust

Just popped on to say Helen is having troubles. Her landlady has disconnected her router connection. Helen doesn't have a landline so is dependant on her landlady's landline for her internet connection. Just don't know what that landlady is trying to do FFS. Some people can be extraordinarily mean don't you think ?

Sorry Helen for putting this on here. I'll delete it if you want me to. But I feel so angry that some people can be so miserable towards others, when they don't deserve it. Helen hasn't got a nasty bone in her body, and I wish I lived nearer to Cornwall. Praps it's just as well I don't else I would get arrested for what I would do.

People should be nicer to each other, life is far too short.I just rung Helen..............I agree with you 100% mate x

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:33 pm

Oh gawd its so bleedin depressing here. Heres a quick gag.

boy asks his granny "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?"

Granny: "Sod the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?":yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:06 am

Hi everybody, hope you are surviving the tropical monsoon weather !

Thought you might like to read the following, it may bring a smile, but then maybe it won't because the sad thing is - it is true !!!!! God save us from such pathetic madness !!! Of course most of it is caused by the UK being in the EU and being governed by un-elected wallies ! (I hasten to add that this is my personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of anybody else)

Subject: What a Nation we have become!

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking.

"Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it, full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please.

"Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness, and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations.

They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle, Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:41 am

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves you can remember this.. A

dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he

decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. "Do you know how

they make these gloves?" he asked. "No, I don't," she replied. "Well," he

spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers

of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,

then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size." She

didn't crack a smile. "Oh, well. I tried," he thought. But five minutes

later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked. "I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:02 am

Subject: FW: Autumn

>> Classes for Men at

>>

>> THE

>> ADULT LEARNING CENTER

>>

>> REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

>> by Monday, Aug 30, 2007

>>

>> NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

>> OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS

>>MAXIMUM.

>>

>>

>> Class 1

>> How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide

>>Presentation.

>> Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00

>>PM.

>>

>> Class 2

>> The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?

>> Round Table Discussion.

>> Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 3

>> Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat

>>and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

>> Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 4

>> Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The

>>Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

>> Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

>>

>> Class 5

>> Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

>> Examples on Video.

>> Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning

>> at 7:00 PM

>>

>> Class 6

>> Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

>> Help Line Support and Support Groups.

>> Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

>>

>> Class 7

>> Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right

>>Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

>> Open Forum.

>> Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 8

>> Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

>> Graphics and Audio Tapes.

>> Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 9

>> Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

>> Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

>>

>> Class 10

>> Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel

>>Parks?

>> Driving Simulations.

>> 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 11

>> Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

>> Online Classes and role-playing.

>> Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

>>

>> Class 12

>> How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

>> Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

>> Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00

>>PM.

>>

>> Class 13

>> How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries

>>and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

>> Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

>> Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

>>

>> Class 14

>> The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.

>> Live Demonstration.

>> Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

>>

>> Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be

>>issued to the survivors.

>>

>> Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to

>>all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

>>

>>

>>

>>

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:33 am

Oh gawd.......Gill give up mate.......wait till Kaz comes back.......why talk to yerself?Nobody wants to answer so why waste yer time...........Im not......

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:07 am

-------------------------------------------> There's always one. This

has

got to be one of the funniest things in a long > time. I think this guy

should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true > story from the

Word

Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording > monitoring

the

customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk > employee was

fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect >

organization

for "Termination without Cause".> Actual dialogue of a former

WordPerfect

Customer Support employee. (Now I > know why they record these

conversations!):> > Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I

help

you?"> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.">

Operator:

"What sort of trouble??"> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and

all of

a sudden the > words went away."> Operator: "Went away?"> Caller: "They

disappeared."> Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?">

Caller: "Nothing."> Operator: "Nothing??"> Caller: "It's blank; it

won't

accept anything when I type."> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect,

or

did you get out??"> Caller: "How do I tell?"> Operator: "Can you see

the C:

prompt on the screen??"> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"> Operator:

"Never

mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"> Caller: "There

isn't any

cursor: I told you, it won't accept > anything I type."> Operator:

"Does

your monitor have a power indicator??"> Caller: "What's a monitor?">

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a > TV.

Does

it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"> Caller: "I don't

know."> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

>

where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"> Caller: "Yes, I

think so."> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me

if

it's > plugged into the wall.> Caller: "Yes, it is."> Operator: "When

you

were behind the monitor, did you notice that > there were two cables

plugged

into the back of it, not just one??"> Caller: "No."> Operator: "Well,

there

are. I need you to look back there again and > find the other cable.">

Caller: "Okay, here it is."> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me

if

it's plugged securely > into the back of your computer."> Caller: "I

can't

reach."> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"> Caller:

"No.">

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean > way

over??"> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - >

it's

because it's dark."> Operator: "Dark??"> Caller: "Yes - the office

light is

off, and the only light I > have is coming in from the window.>

Operator:

"Well, turn on the office light then."> Caller: "I can't."> Operator:

"No?

Why not??"> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."> Operator: "A

power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've > got it licked now.

Do you

still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff > your computer came

in??"> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."> Operator:

"Good. Go

get them, and unplug your system and pack it > up just like it was when

you

got it. Then take it back to the store you > bought it from."> Caller:

"Really? Is it that bad?"> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."> Caller:

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell > them??"> Operator:

"Tell

them you're too f.....ng stupid to own a > computer!!!!!"> >

>________________________________________________________________

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:29 am

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:53 pm

well at least what evers going on with this bloody internet is and me space bar has given up the ghost so me posting on msn might be a bit hard to understand. having to concentrate on hitting it in the right place as i write. i know im a woman and supposed to be able to do more than one thing at time but this is hard work !!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:34 pm

Hi Carolly, how's Hoxtonchris?

He has'nt been on in a while.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:52 am

Hello everybody ! The sun's out where I am - wow ! Hope the sun's out where you are LOL

Hi Neffy! Glad you could pop in, even though it wasn't for long !

Hi Kay! Hope you get more sleep with your new charge !

Hiya Carol, good to see you, and enjoyed our chat last night! Hope you can get on again today Mrs Posh.

Hello Abbey ! I guess you've noticed that I've waved the white flag, and bowed to your superiority in the Arcade. Still I did manage to get to be the gold cup holder and the leader of the leaderboard ! Well I've done that so I can play my favourites now ! LOL

Helen, You managed a brief post on here last night, and I enjoyed our short chat on MSN, before your plug was pulled again ! I just wonder who is actually pulling your plug Helen - female or could it be a young male ? Or maybe even an older male ? What the f...k is wrong with some people - it just gets to me this kind of nastiness - it verges on mental abuse ! I wonder what their hidden agenda really is. Helen remember to work to rule, cos they just can't have their cake and eat it.

Joan is due back today, so in case she comes on the thread, welcome back Joan, hope you enjoyed your holiday ! I bet you're champin at the bit now to go and collect your gorgeous little Sophie !

xxx :-4 TO ALL

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 4:39 am

Hi to you all. Just finished watching Big Brother so thought I would pop in before I go to beddie bye. Yes Gill get lots of sleep with this baby, she sleeps all night but is a handful in the day, wont let me out of her sight and screams blue murder also have to nurse her to sleep:(.

Wow Abbey is good in the arcade hey, I am pathetic but I enjoy it:)

Carol I keep missing you havent seen you on msn for ages or Ali

Anyway love to you all and catch up with ya soon :yh_hugs

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 7:36 am

Hi Gill...yes enjoyed our chat mate an hope to chat again laterxxxxx

Kay I have been looking for you babe lol. Hope all is ok there matey an really hope to catch up soonxxxxx

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:34 pm

abbey;665056 wrote: Hi Carolly, how's Hoxtonchris?

He has'nt been on in a while.
His fine babe thanks for asking x

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 5:10 pm

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:36 am

Hi everybody ! Well at least it isn't raining at the moment ! Take care xxx

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:51 am

Hi Gill, just a flying visit mate.I think you should think about that offer Gill........no point not doing it is there seeing people are not bothered even to put a hello on here...........yes go for it Gill in some ways it will be alot better I feel as I explained last night.Talk soon matexxxCor its enough to turn you to drink!!!!

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:24 am

me feels poorly :-1

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:13 am

neffy;666110 wrote:

me feels poorly :-1Why whats wrong Neffy????

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:59 pm

got a really bad head cold feel like pooh

-1:-1

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:26 pm

neffy;666240 wrote: got a really bad head cold feel like pooh

-1:-1

Ohhhhhh wish you better babexx

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:35 pm

G#Gill;665312 wrote:

Hello Abbey ! I guess you've noticed that I've waved the white flag, and bowed to your superiority in the Arcade. Still I did manage to get to be the gold cup holder and the leader of the leaderboard ! Well I've done that so I can play my favourites now ! LOL

I miss you.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:28 pm

Well Abbey, if you say it like that, I suppose I really ought to have another bash.

But it will have to wait a while, as I'm so busy at the moment ! :sneaky::-3

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:52 pm

:wah: Get yer bum back in, i need some competition, it's just no fun playing with yourself. :sneaky:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:28 am

abbey;666577 wrote: :wah: Get yer bum back in, i need some competition, it's just no fun playing with yourself. :sneaky:Er Abbey can you rephrase that please babe :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:08 am

Carolly;666626 wrote: Er Abbey can you rephrase that please babe :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
OOPS!

Ok, it's sometimes fun playing with yourself but sometimes you need some company. :wah:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:43 am

abbey;666633 wrote: OOPS!

Ok, it's sometimes fun playing with yourself but sometimes you need some company. :wah:
Couldnt agree more but behave yerself Mrs.....our Gill cant takesuch excitement:wah:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:13 am

Hi there Carol, been watching the news and seen all the floods over there. You ok? Saw some caravans floating away hope it wasnt the vvvvvvvvpv. But seriously its really bad over there hope you are all ok.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:25 am

Hello everybody ! Hey it's sunny here today !

Hi Carol, enjoyed our chat last night matey. Loved the 'roof' words, Andy's still laughing !!!

Abbey, thanks for the compliment that you consider me competition, particularly as you're a helluva player in the Arcade ! It looks like I've got a lot of work to do to try and catch you again, so maybe I'd better set aside some time

Neffy I hope you can throw off that grotty head cold soon matey !

Abbey, with Carol around, you really will have to watch what you write, cos if the wrong meaning can be taken, Carol will take it :wah:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:43 am

kayleneaussie;666674 wrote: Hi there Carol, been watching the news and seen all the floods over there. You ok? Saw some caravans floating away hope it wasnt the vvvvvvvvpv. But seriously its really bad over there hope you are all ok.Kay its bloody awful mate it really is.............what the hell is going on???Those poor people, makes you realise how lucky you are not being one of them and no as to yet vvvvvvvvvpv is still ok.....actually just going down there to check it all out. Talk soon my dear friendxxxxxxx;)