More newbie jokes....

[Rapunzel]

A male patient is lying in bed, still heavily sedated from a 4-hour

operation in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young nurse appears in his room to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse," she heard him say. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know. I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."

Again she heard him say, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other hand, takes a close look and says, "No sir, there's nothing wrong with them."

The man removes his oxygen mask and says very slowly,

"That was really nice, but listen very, very closely,

Are... my... test... results... back?"



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<



A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks

around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



:wah: :wah:

[john8pies]

Just for one worrying moment I thought it was going to be the one where the bloke had both his legs amputated by mistake in hospital (apologies in advance to all those of you who are similarly afflicted or unable to walk, by the way). The doctor said, "What do you want first, the good news or the bad news?"

"The bad news please" "We got your notes mixed up and accidentally amputated both your legs instead of just giving you a tonsillectomy"

"That`s terrible. What`s the good news?" "George in the next bed says he`ll buy your slippers if the price is right!"