Job Interview Don'ts

[RedGlitter]

What not to do...



We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of

those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails.

Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the

don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job

applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel

executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of

unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:

1. Said he was so well-qualified if he didn't get the job, it

would prove that the company's management was incompetent.

2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

3. Brought her large dog to the interview.

4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

5. Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at

the same time.

7. Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a

few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.

8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.

9. Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive

was qualified to judge the candidate.

10. Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger

and french fries in the interviewer's office.

11. Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during

the middle of the interview.

12. Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice

president.

13. Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having

the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

14. Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering

specific interview questions.

15. Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to

call the police.

16. When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap

dancing around my office.

17. Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

18. Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly

thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.

19. Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.

20. Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me.

Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

21. Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that

the offer was formal.

22. Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.

23. While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out

a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping

longest at the centerfold.

24. During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's

brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he

had to leave for another interview.

25. A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his

wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company?

When do l start? What's the salary?" I said, "l assume you're not

interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly

responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire

him, but later found out there was no other job offer.. It was a

scam to get a higher offer.

26. An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the

other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.

27. His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents

spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and

perfume.

28. He came to the interview on a moped and left it in the reception

area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would

require indoor parking for the moped.

29. He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot

powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was

putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use

the powder four times a day, and this was the time.

30. Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the

unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

31. He whistled when the interviewer was talking.

32. Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk.

When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and

wanted my phone number. I called security.

33. She threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions

about the job, like nothing had happened.

34. Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that

If he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began

to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call

the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and

ran. The bomb went off and no one was injured, but I did need to

get a new desk.

35. Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.

[KB.]

. Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during

the middle of the interview.


I've done that before; there is only so much rhetoric I can stand. Especially during the rare times when money isn't as much an issue as boredom. Except, I said, "You have got to be stoned out of your gourd to belive what you just said".

What makes me sad is that on most applications (since most of them are online now) it reminds you to make sure your belt and shoes match.

[Uncle Kram]

I was once interviewd by a panel of about 15 people and it was extremely intimidating. There were some who said nothing and a few who were polite and friendly. Then there was this guy who asked a barrage of random questions. He asked really complex maths questions which I struggled to do in my head. He said "I thought you were supposed to be good at maths :rolleyes: "

I said that normally I was but I'd been off school the day we did that question.:sneaky:

He then said he was going to ask a question that he always asked at every interview. He told me that in all the years he'd been interviewing, the guy in before me had just given him the best answer ever.

I stood up and just said " Well you'd better f...king hire him then you c..t"

Bet the others had a chat about that for a while.

[KB.]

Uncle Kram;657846 wrote: I was once interviewd by a panel of about 15 people and it was extremely intimidating. There were some who said nothing and a few who were polite and friendly. Then there was this guy who asked a barrage of random questions. He asked really complex maths questions which I struggled to do in my head. He said "I thought you were supposed to be good at maths :rolleyes: "

I said that normally I was but I'd been off school the day we did that question.:sneaky:

He then said he was going to ask a question that he always asked at every interview. He told me that in all the years he'd been interviewing, the guy in before me had just given him the best answer ever.

I stood up and just said " Well you'd better f...king hire him then you c..t"

Bet the others had a chat about that for a while.


I would have hired you for saying that; and told the guy who was obviously always the ******* to take a hike.

[RedGlitter]

Ha! I admire you both for saying what you did.

Job interviews are the worst.

The only thing I've really done on an interview was tell them they'd be crazy not to hire me because I would be such an asset to them and when asked why I hadn't worked in four years I was too embarrassed to admit why so I told the guy I had been on Sabattical.

I got the job too.

[Richard Bell]

If I was the interviewer, I'd be favorably impressed with 13 & 16.

The one shoe woman demonstrates determination in the face of adversity, and the tap dancer seems like a well rounded individual who has a variety of interests in his life.

[Mia]

So who has been telling tales about my interviews then.You just cannot please some folk.

[sunny104]

I worked at one place where this guy showed up one day for an interview wearing jeans and a t-shirt that had profanity on the front. :rolleyes:

he basically got a quickie, courtesy interview but the manager had made up his mind not to hire him as soon as he saw him.

[Uncle Kram]

sunny104;658084 wrote: I worked at one place where this guy showed up one day for an interview wearing jeans and a t-shirt that had profanity on the front. :rolleyes:

he basically got a quickie, courtesy interview but the manager had made up his mind not to hire him as soon as he saw him. Could you describe the t shirt Sunny?. A sketch would suffice

[minks]

I used to work for a recruitment agency where we hired executives for high paying postings in the middle east with some very very prestigous company's.

We had one guy come in rip roaring stinking drunk,

one guy come in in a nice suit and shoes and white sports socks

one gal come in and tell us how we should be conducting interviews

one gal come in and had false records that were picked out immediately by our staff.

People are oddballs.

[sunny104]

Uncle Kram;658102 wrote: Could you describe the t shirt Sunny?. A sketch would suffice


it was just words, I think it said **** or maybe **** *** or was it **** ***??

something like that.........