Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

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Marie5656
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 10:10 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by Marie5656 »

Things I Wish I'd Known

Before I Went Out In The Real World



Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Why, thank you" (though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent).

Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiters and doesn't like dogs/cats.

Good sex should involve laughter. Because think about it, it is funny.

You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe it.

I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

Knowing how to listen to music is as great a talent as knowing how to make it.

Work is good but it's not that important.

Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

And finally... Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

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minks
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Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by minks »

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.



HAHAHAHAHAHA

that is sad, cause as we age... oh heck I gotta go pee, brb!!!!
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
Carl44
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Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 9:23 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by Carl44 »

that was great funny and true



my grandfather used to say never criticize a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes i always used that to myself when i was frustrated with some one to stop me saying something not so nice , in his last years i thanked him for the advice and he said to me do you really know what i meant , i explained what i thought it meant he laughed and said no you idiot

if you walk a mile in his shoes and you still feel the same your a mile away from the moron and as a bonus you have a new pair of shoes ... he was joking of course but always wise my grandad shame i never really knew how wise till he was not around to give me advise i so needed:-6 :-6
ice maiden
Posts: 472
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 1:33 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by ice maiden »

so true:wah:
ss1809
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Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:00 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by ss1809 »

love the list....i am going to save this. it could come in handy
nok
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Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:38 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by nok »

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


I really agree with this one.
Happiness is not a destiny. It is a daily goal. :)
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AussiePam
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by AussiePam »

Marie5656;482611 wrote:

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.






Bugger!! Now you tell me... hic..... :sneaky:
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

hoppy
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Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Things I Wish I had Known Before Going Out into the Real World

Post by hoppy »

Never trust a fart.
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