Betty Boop;640396 wrote: I'm a volunteer for them down here, we're all police checked before we can start and we are there to support you the Mum, try them!! :-6
Oh how lovely. I will certainly give them a call if I get to keep him home. I had better get to bed so I'm up early to call them before they find him somewhere and send them all of this info from here and the net that I have found out.
Thank god for all of you who are helping so much more than they have in nearly 5 years!
Do you feel he understands body language? Yes but not always.
Ok, I've just looked at all the stuff you highlighted lol all the above are typically autistic tendancies, my son had to fit several of these criteria to be diagnosed and if I hadn't have argued about the original outcome he would never have got the diagnosis. On the day the jumped up doctor ambushed me with question after question in medical terminology, I was flumoxed. He missed being diagnosed on that day because I didn't get over the fact that he claps incessantly and flaps his hands round his ears! Not enough boxes were ticked at the end of the day, I went back and insisted he asked the questions in plain english!! :-5
crazygal;640408 wrote: Oh how lovely. I will certainly give them a call if I get to keep him home. I had better get to bed so I'm up early to call them before they find him somewhere and send them all of this info from here and the net that I have found out.
Thank god for all of you who are helping so much more than they have in nearly 5 years!
Call them anyway, they will still support you, tell social services you have requested a volunteer to prove you want to keep your son and you intend to get all the help he needs and deserves.
Betty Boop;640421 wrote: Ok, I've just looked at all the stuff you highlighted lol all the above are typically autistic tendancies, my son had to fit several of these criteria to be diagnosed and if I hadn't have argued about the original outcome he would never have got the diagnosis. On the day the jumped up doctor ambushed me with question after question in medical terminology, I was flumoxed. He missed being diagnosed on that day because I didn't get over the fact that he claps incessantly and flaps his hands round his ears! Not enough boxes were ticked at the end of the day, I went back and insisted he asked the questions in plain english!! :-5
MY next door neighbours son is Autistic. I so admire parents of Autistic children. Sounds evil but I couldn't have coped. He annoys me badly and is only next door. He screams all the time and I hear his mum scream at him. He can't speak much at all, she has to use cards. That would drive me up the wall. Good on her for sticking with it.
Betty Boop;640424 wrote: Call them anyway, they will still support you, tell social services you have requested a volunteer to prove you want to keep your son and you intend to get all the help he needs and deserves.
Sleep well!! :-4
Thanks, I will do, that's brilliant. Even if I have to tell a white lie and say for evenings.
crazygal;640425 wrote: MY next door neighbours son is Autistic. I so admire parents of Autistic children. Sounds evil but I couldn't have coped. He annoys me badly and is only next door. He screams all the time and I hear his mum scream at him. He can't speak much at all, she has to use cards. That would drive me up the wall. Good on her for sticking with it.
I have prompt cards too, charts to explain what is happening daily, you get used to it, it just becomes part of life. Routine is what autistic children need and bucket loads of patience and love!
(Remind me of that in the morning when I've said 'Can you put your pants on' for the tenth time along with every other instruction that has to be repeated over and over and over and over................................:-5 )
The autistic child can slowly emerge as they grow older. I had one young boy in my class this year. When he came in, he would hide his head, and never answer anything. By the end of the year, he could speak to us in sentences, raise his hand, and complete a great deal of his work-on the students level. It just takes time and a lot of patience.
crazygal;640144 wrote: Thanks hun. I did the child test for him on the Dore site and two others on similar sites, they come out that he has it. Also reading their symptoms he has almost all of them. The police have even suggested he has it. I hope he doesn't but there is definately something going on.
Have you actually been told by the doctor that your son has ADHA? if not do so.
Haven't you just had a new member to the family? Well he may be playing up because he feels left out maybe?
I know my Eldest was terrible when Jay was born and I also was thinking to myself that maybe he was suffering from the same thing as ADHD but he is fine now.
If you have just taken the test on the Dore site which you were going on about, that is no way of telling! unless you have actually been told by the doctor before you call any social services, what upset it may cause for your son feeling rejected just because his going through a normal part of his life, and before he knows it, its gone before his eyes.
Yep I am with the others CG I hope you get a professionals diagnosis. Here it was a 3 hour exam, and many questions to me about my daughter before they determined she had ADHD. CG has your son always been like this, is this his life constantly? How about you my dear how are you coping with it, yes you say you cuddle Jade when the stress gets to you, have you looked into postpartum depression, please understand I am not trying to downgrade your son's issues. Perhaps your condition is making his condition seem worse.
ADHD is ADD with hyperactivity, how many hours of sleep does your son typically get? ADD is a day dreamer, ADHD is a wrecking ball. An ADHD child exists off of very little sleep and when sleeping it tends to not be very soundly. It takes them a long time to get to sleep and often they do now want to sleep. A child with ADD has a riot going on in their head constantly, if they want to go outside and play they "go outside and play"often times they will not even think to put on rain gear if it is raining, or shoes or boots or a hat, they just go. They can not stay on task, they often start things and then fail to follow through, they can put a pencil down on a desk in their bedroom go to the bathroom and forget where they put the pencil in a heartbeat. This is ADD, hyperactivity comes with the inability to sit still, even less focus, horrible sleep habits, and more recklessness.
Does your son have twitchy leggs or bouncing legs, this is a very common trait in ADD/ADHD as well. Does he talk loud, does he know when to wait his turn in conversation? If you said yes then no, those too are signs of ADD/ADHD. Can your son do multiple tasks, ie you say clean up your room does he clean his room or does he only pick up his toy cars? An ADHD/ADD child often can not process instructions that are multilayerd. Ie when I ask my daughter to clean the kitchen I have to list all that is involved, empty dishwasher, wash off counters, fill dishwasher, wipe off stove, and table. That is her life.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
minks;640458 wrote: Yep I am with the others CG I hope you get a professionals diagnosis. Here it was a 3 hour exam, and many questions to me about my daughter before they determined she had ADHD. CG has your son always been like this, is this his life constantly? How about you my dear how are you coping with it, yes you say you cuddle Jade when the stress gets to you, have you looked into postpartum depression, please understand I am not trying to downgrade your son's issues. Perhaps your condition is making his condition seem worse.
ADHD is ADD with hyperactivity, how many hours of sleep does your son typically get? ADD is a day dreamer, ADHD is a wrecking ball. An ADHD child exists off of very little sleep and when sleeping it tends to not be very soundly. It takes them a long time to get to sleep and often they do now want to sleep. A child with ADD has a riot going on in their head constantly, if they want to go outside and play they "go outside and play"often times they will not even think to put on rain gear if it is raining, or shoes or boots or a hat, they just go. They can not stay on task, they often start things and then fail to follow through, they can put a pencil down on a desk in their bedroom go to the bathroom and forget where they put the pencil in a heartbeat. This is ADD, hyperactivity comes with the inability to sit still, even less focus, horrible sleep habits, and more recklessness.
Does your son have twitchy leggs or bouncing legs, this is a very common trait in ADD/ADHD as well. Does he talk loud, does he know when to wait his turn in conversation? If you said yes then no, those too are signs of ADD/ADHD. Can your son do multiple tasks, ie you say clean up your room does he clean his room or does he only pick up his toy cars? An ADHD/ADD child often can not process instructions that are multilayerd. Ie when I ask my daughter to clean the kitchen I have to list all that is involved, empty dishwasher, wash off counters, fill dishwasher, wipe off stove, and table. That is her life.
Very true couldn't have said it any better then you!
minks;640302 wrote: Do not feel guilty my dear. Engage your son in things he loves. ADHD kids are passionate and often if they have their passion removed they act way worse, if they like to draw buy reams of paper, and crayons let them go, if they like so sing buy them music and an instrument or rent or give em sticks and cans ect. They are good at single tasks like that if the passion is there.
Jr minks loved to draw on desks at school, she got that looked after.. she had to clean them all at recess :wah: She was not passionate about art mind you just a destructive little turd.
Passionate in everything they do. My son is the most wonderful, loving, cuddly, sensitive child ever.
Before we got help he was still all of those things, it was just so difficult to see and appreciate them, when he was being such a HORROR!
ThePheasant;640467 wrote: Passionate in everything they do. My son is the most wonderful, loving, cuddly, sensitive child ever.
Before we got help he was still all of those things, it was just so difficult to see and appreciate them, when he was being such a HORROR!
Pheasy :-4
oops Pheas Horror is exacty how my mom referred to Jr Minks a couple times ahahahaha
Jr Minks was minded by our lovely neighbors while I worked for a few years, she got caught under the kitchen table pulling off the wallpaper of the care givers wall, she also got caught carving up the paint job with a nail on the caregivers husbands antique truck... OMG what does one offer up as payment and sorry in those cases... yes a horror.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
minks;640469 wrote: I think we could have an ADHD support thread here somewhere many of us have these children.
Good Idea Minks - Sometimes you feel so alone and feel like you are the only parent in the world who isn't coping. It provides help for people who are still looking for help and feel they have no where to turn. It gives strength to carry on.
Good Luck CG and Ryan, and all of you out there!!
There is light at the end of tunnel. We all need help sometimes to guide us there!
minks;640469 wrote: I think we could have an ADHD support thread here somewhere many of us have these children.
Yes, I agree!! And agree with so much you've said...I've been distant from this because of several reasons...but I'm glad you guys were here to help out...
I admire each and every person in this thread and those that felt very strong about this subject and just didn't know what to say. Until you live with a child that has a disablility, no one understands completely.:-4 :-4
Children with adhd are loving and sweet children, I'll never forget how people in the Church used to growl when I'd walk into the nursery with my son, because they knew they had a job to do with him...it hurt my feelings, but I always took everything my children do very personally and tried my hardest to make sure they were taken care of, they were always and still are number 1 priority!! I remember times we'd be in public and all I wanted to do was get them home...
One last thing...my parents used to call my kids, "blizzard, hurricane, and the twister!!"...cause they could come in a room and tear it up in NO time!!:wah: :wah:
They won't listen! I am seeing my solicitor tomorrow afternoon. The Social Services are taking Ryan to a Foster Home tomorrow at midday. How can I let this happen? I feel like I am dying inside. :-1 He said he is going to kill himself.
I have read all of this sad thread and I was not going to get involved , a little advice from me , my Grand Daughter is a Master of Tae Kwon Do and has her own school , she has two young boys with this condition and she has them in one of her classes and she does not charge the parents a penny , if you can find a like minded tutor ( they are around ) they may help , if I knew where abouts you live I could ask my G/D to find out about classes in your area . In the meantime I wish you all the best
IF YOU CAN'T SAY GOOD ABOUT SOME ONE , KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
Did you know that too much chocolate shrinks your clothes
Uncle Fester;640671 wrote: I have read all of this sad thread and I was not going to get involved , a little advice from me , my Grand Daughter is a Master of Tae Kwon Do and has her own school , she has two young boys with this condition and she has them in one of her classes and she does not charge the parents a penny , if you can find a like minded tutor ( they are around ) they may help , if I knew where abouts you live I could ask my G/D to find out about classes in your area . In the meantime I wish you all the best
Thank you so much for your reply. They are taking him into care tomorrow and if I don't let them they are getting a Section 20 to force me to.
crazygal;640672 wrote: Thank you so much for your reply. They are taking him into care tomorrow and if I don't let them they are getting a Section 20 to force me to.
CG, I am speechless...so many of us are very emotional with you over this...I'm over here crying....the love a mother has for a child is so precious that it effects us for all children, even those that aren't our own, same goes for a lot of women that are unable to have babies of thier own...I know you know this...what I'm trying to convey is that well...we are all in pain over this....I hope things work out for the best and I'm not there, if I were I'd be fighting to get that baby boy!!:-1 :-1
My solictor has now spoken with theirs and said that it is unreasonable to expect me to hand Ryan over to them tomorrow before she and I have met with all of the reports which we are doing tomorrow afternoon. She has asked Ryan's social worker to email her everything so that she can see how everything is. I am hoping that they'll put off taking Ryan until 5pm instead of midday so this can be done first. My solicitor and I then can decide between us the best option.
WonderWendy3;640674 wrote: CG, I am speechless...so many of us are very emotional with you over this...I'm over here crying....the love a mother has for a child is so precious that it effects us for all children, even those that aren't our own, same goes for a lot of women that are unable to have babies of thier own...I know you know this...what I'm trying to convey is that well...we are all in pain over this....I hope things work out for the best and I'm not there, if I were I'd be fighting to get that baby boy!!:-1 :-1
Thanks Wendy and I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset anybody.
Just now the Child Psychologist has called me and says if I want to go down that road of getting Ryan assessed then that's my right but he doesn't have ADHD. She is going to post off some information to me about similar problems that can sometimes be mistaken for ADHD.
crazygal;640675 wrote: My solictor has now spoken with theirs and said that it is unreasonable to expect me to hand Ryan over to them tomorrow before she and I have met with all of the reports which we are doing tomorrow afternoon. She has asked Ryan's social worker to email her everything so that she can see how everything is. I am hoping that they'll put off taking Ryan until 5pm instead of midday so this can be done first. My solicitor and I then can decide between us the best option.That sounds practical. You should try to get a while with your solicitor before the meeting, and make it as productive as possible. It only seems so "us and them" because SS assume so many powers unless a lawyer steps in front of them and brings them to reason. They're supposed to be helping, not taking control.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left. When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious. Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
spot;640678 wrote: That sounds practical. You should try to get a while with your solicitor before the meeting, and make it as productive as possible. It only seems so "us and them" because SS assume so many powers unless a lawyer steps in front of them and brings them to reason. They're supposed to be helping, not taking control.
Thank you and very true. They are saying that I want them to take him as I asked them to last night. Surely they realise that when things are bad, at that moment people panic and say things that they don't mean. How often does someone say they are going to kill someone when they're mad? Loads! They don't mean they'll actually do it. That's why first thing this morning I spoke with them and said I don't want that, I do though need some respite and an assessment.
Cheers Minks. I have my sister staying over here tonight with Ryan and the cat so at least I won't be alone. Tomorrow I am dreading though, that's gonna be the worst day of my life.
This is a heart-wrenching story. What does your son do that is a problem?
Very late to reply, years in fact I know but I had him taken from me, 11 July 2007, on my birthday of all days. He was in Foster Care for a whole year before I got him back. While he was there, he was diagnosed with ADHD, we went back to court thinking I'd get him back but the Social Services wanted a 2nd opinion. We got it and went back but as he was being put on medication, I still didn't get him home as they wanted to make sure it was the Ritalin that made the difference in his behaviour and not the change of circumstances.
It was the worst year of my life and I never ever want to go through that again. I have since found out that I have ADD so it's hard but we're getting on with it.
crazygal;1340565 wrote: Very late to reply, years in fact I know but I had him taken from me, 11 July 2007, on my birthday of all days. He was in Foster Care for a whole year before I got him back. While he was there, he was diagnosed with ADHD, we went back to court thinking I'd get him back but the Social Services wanted a 2nd opinion. We got it and went back but as he was being put on medication, I still didn't get him home as they wanted to make sure it was the Ritalin that made the difference in his behaviour and not the change of circumstances.
It was the worst year of my life and I never ever want to go through that again. I have since found out that I have ADD so it's hard but we're getting on with it.
Welcome back CG. I sincerely hope that things continue to go better for you.
Sorry, I don't know the whole situation but I read the first couple pages and something clicked. I was a behavioral paraprofessional at several elementary schools and I worked with a lot of kids that acted similar to your child. Has anyone ever suggested oppositional defiant disorder? I was a kid with ADHD and it seems quite a bit more than that. Also, you are a wonderful mother and I hope the best for you and your family.
I will certainly give them a call if I get to keep him home. I had better get to bed so I'm up early to call them before they find him somewhere and send them all of this info from here and the net that I have found out.
