Separation - Mediation Last night

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Thu May 05, 2005 5:54 am

Sob sob she doesn't want to work :yh_cry

I'm sorry but she needs a reality check. If working to feed and clothe her kids effect her lifestyle she shouldn't have had any.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu May 05, 2005 6:17 am

Here's what drives me crazy. We hear so much about "deadbeat dads" yet these women would rather sit and complain than get a job. They will use the children as pawns to get what they want. Don't get me wrong. I know there are far too many fathers (0ne is too many) who could, but will not support their children, but the damage I see a lot of women doing is horrible. I know if something happens to my husband, be it divorce, death, health problems, etc. I can support my children and myself. Okay, rant over.

Glad it went well for you and wish you luck. :-6

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Thu May 05, 2005 6:23 am

3 years helllllll no.. Listen up here NL.. she has her own business right. Does she have income coming in from that...?? Was she a stay at home mom before now..?? Doesn't she have a clue that you are no longer her breadwinner..?? If I remember correctly you helped her set up her business correct..?? The kids .. yep.. support them, but her .. no way. Time to grow up and face the consequences of her decisions.. you are not her personal ATM for crying out loud...

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu May 05, 2005 6:54 am

anewlife wrote: Hi all -

I went to mediation last night (at $300 an hour! F$#@$!_). It went pretty well and Lady Cop would be happy that I let it be known that I wanted to support the kids but wanted the wife to work - i don't think i ever commented on this, but i wish you all the best!

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Thu May 05, 2005 7:00 am

What a screwed up archaic law. No way.. so she can live off you..not have to take any responsiblity for her decisions. If you had been her sole support previous I could see this, but no way. And I would be looking into another lawyer. Or.. during the mediation determine a set date, non-negotiable, that alimony would end. Also, since you are paying alimony and the taxes on that money and the child support and the taxes that go with that too.. demand to keep the kids on your income tax return. No way she should be able to claim the and the deductions that go with them. Nope.. you are paying the taxes on that money.. youshouldreap the benefits of the tax returns. Now.. if she want to forego alimony, then say that you will agree to alternting years concerning the tax return benefits with the kids.

Next.. move thehell outta that backwards state, damn.. that is screwed up.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Thu May 05, 2005 7:02 am

At $300 an hour i can see who gets rich out of these separations and divorces. Lucky it`s a free or subidised service in the UK. However, it`s also generally speaking very anti-dad with the dad picking up the bill for maintenance etc and the mum having the kids.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu May 05, 2005 7:28 am

Oh how different laws are between there and here, but Anew I wonder what you mean by support for 3 years?? Child and Spousal? If child then your stuck till they are of the age of a non minor. If your talking spousal yeah go for 3 years that is plenty of time for your soon to be ex to get her feet back on the ground. I hope you can keep it out of the courts because that is where the real cost comes in. As well I hope you have a darn good lawyer and you guys get it cleared up quick, reason being a lawyer can push around the other lawyer about support and issues that are grey in the courts and the lawyer with the more push will beat the other lawyer into submission and your going to have to decide then, court for more bucks, new lawyer and start all over, or give in. It is nasty and hellish but happens all the time. Believe it or not, my ex had a hot shot lawyer high up in the biz and his lawyer basically said NO spousal support for you lady, you are capable of working and even though you have not had to work in the last 2 years of marriage tough dogs. It was actually my ex who told his lawyer he would pay spousal support. So be careful of the money grab lawyers can be. And good luck.