"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket." Poor dog
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke." I hate when cars break!
"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident." 40 years of driving would put me to sleep too!
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment." My MIL sometimes has this affect on me.
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention." Next time I'll call your cellphone to let you know I intend to crash with you.
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way." YIKES!
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole." I wonder if it worked.
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car." See? You didn't need to shop; only drive.
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished." I hate getting struck by invisible cars!
"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows." Glad the stray cows found you.:wah: