Pet's Diary

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon May 07, 2007 8:10 am

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

>>>10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

>>>12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

>>>Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with

bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh

meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of

dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I

nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at

their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their

hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.

However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary

confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard

that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must

learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of

my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I

must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is

obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged

protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe. For now........

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon May 07, 2007 8:12 am

I found that too funny...seen it before, thought I'd share.....Dogs are like men and the cats are like SOME Women....:wah:

well kinda:sneaky:

Sweet Tooth · Post by **Sweet Tooth** » Mon May 07, 2007 8:13 am

Hahahahahahha

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon May 07, 2007 8:27 am

So very funny , if only pets could talk , we would have them put down :wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon May 07, 2007 8:39 am

Uncle Fester;608170 wrote: So very funny , if only pets could talk , we would have them put down :wah:

Hah no way if my pets could talk, they would never stop going on about the fact they have to drink out of the toilet ahahahahaha:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon May 07, 2007 9:01 am

minks;608186 wrote: Hah no way if my pets could talk, they would never stop going on about the fact they have to drink out of the toilet ahahahahaha:wah:

Mine love to drink out of the toilet...well my cat wants my Ice water that I have on my night stand, I even tip the glass for her so that she can get the water okay....and NO I don't drink after her....

I wouldn't want to hear my animals this morning, I was short on food for them, I was probably bein' cussed out and don't know it!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon May 07, 2007 9:43 am

WonderWendy3;608209 wrote: Mine love to drink out of the toilet...well my cat wants my Ice water that I have on my night stand, I even tip the glass for her so that she can get the water okay....and NO I don't drink after her....

I wouldn't want to hear my animals this morning, I was short on food for them, I was probably bein' cussed out and don't know it!!

Oh that happens to me too the food shortage thing ahahahaha

And yeah both my cat and dog enjoy the toilet water, I think cause it's colder, I didn't think pets cared about water temp. Hmmmm oh to read their minds. I bet my cat would be repeating "i am horney, so horney, terribley horney, I wish she would just open that door a little wider so I could run out and get me some *****" ahahahahaha:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon May 07, 2007 9:49 am

minks;608235 wrote: Oh that happens to me too the food shortage thing ahahahaha

And yeah both my cat and dog enjoy the toilet water, I think cause it's colder, I didn't think pets cared about water temp. Hmmmm oh to read their minds. I bet my cat would be repeating "i am horney, so horney, terribley horney, I wish she would just open that door a little wider so I could run out and get me some *****" ahahahahaha:wah:

YEah, ummmm that was happening to me this morning....didn't want to share it, cause little embarrased of my "ho" cat!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon May 07, 2007 10:15 am

WonderWendy3;608243 wrote: YEah, ummmm that was happening to me this morning....didn't want to share it, cause little embarrased of my "ho" cat!!

Bad cat, bad bad bad.... sheesh cats are naughty.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon May 07, 2007 12:20 pm

:wah: