Big Bully and his gang!?!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:33 am

Okay I need help, my youngest son has been upset for about 3 weeks...and he wouldn't tell me when I would ask him, he'd brush me off. I could tell something is bothering him. My Brother is a black belt and has started a Karate class at the Church and my 2 younger boys have been going. I was hoping that would help his self-esteem, and it has a little.

This morning I had a hard time getting Caleb up, and I was getting upset with him, because I've been late to work trying to get him up and out in the mornings...well he finally broke down this morning and told me that there are 2 kids in school that are punching him in the face and one tried to punch him in his private area!! He was crying so hard about it...and I started crying...I just left him at home and went to work...called the teacher, gave him the names of the kids and he said he will see what he can do.

I know this is an age old problem...just is upsetting...:-5

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:35 am

What school is it? I'll be glad to go over there and rough the brats up a little. Tell them cousin Guido sent me???

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:46 am

WonderWendy3;585129 wrote: Okay I need help, my youngest son has been upset for about 3 weeks...and he wouldn't tell me when I would ask him, he'd brush me off. I could tell something is bothering him. My Brother is a black belt and has started a Karate class at the Church and my 2 younger boys have been going. I was hoping that would help his self-esteem, and it has a little.

This morning I had a hard time getting Caleb up, and I was getting upset with him, because I've been late to work trying to get him up and out in the mornings...well he finally broke down this morning and told me that there are 2 kids in school that are punching him in the face and one tried to punch him in his private area!! He was crying so hard about it...and I started crying...I just left him at home and went to work...called the teacher, gave him the names of the kids and he said he will see what he can do.

I know this is an age old problem...just is upsetting...:-5

i had this trouble at school , i was picked on and badly beaten up every day ,one day i just had enough and flipped ,a good punch in the nose makes most people think twice about picking on you ,its just having the guts to make that first stand ,the thing is if your not a nasty guy and hate fighting its even harder , all the time they can hit him and get away with it they will do so, poor lad i really feel for him ,down load mma on you tube ,see what he thinks :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:47 am

It's time to give back what's been given. That stuff won't go unchecked and ratting to the teacher won't help a bit. Rotten kids only understand one thing. It's a pathetic fact but it is still a fact. (experienced person talking here)

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:00 am

DesignerGal;585130 wrote: What school is it? I'll be glad to go over there and rough the brats up a little. Tell them cousin Guido sent me???

awww, thanks...that was my first reaction, to march into the school and slap some kids heads!! Riverview Elementary...and I know NO Guido!! LOL (funny I had a friend in HS-his middle name was actually Guido:wah: )

Thanks Jimbo and RG...I appreciate your help already...My oldest son has been through this too...and I know that until he stands up it will continue and I told him that...but then you have to deal with him getting in trouble for fighting. What really gets me is that he's not a small kid...and I know he could take them, he just has a real kind heart and is VERY sensitive...like his momma!!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:20 am

Same thing happened with my oldest son. When he was in second grade he was getting bullyed and teased about wearing really thick glasses. Now he was one of the biggest kids in his class but was too soft hearted to do anything. Finally when he told me about it, I told him next time they call him four eyes or whatever, take your glasses off, set them down and knock the little bastard right in the nose. Well That afternoon I got a call from the school. Brian was in a fight. I went to the school, told the principle the situation, also told the principle that it was me who told Brian to do it. He said he understood but there was a zero tolerance policy so He was suspended for two days. As I walked out of the office the dad of the kid he hit was walking in to pick up his kid. I stopped and told the dad that it was my kid who hit his. He started to get a bit angry with me and I told him that every time his kid pushes or teases my kid that my son has my permission to beat the hell out of him. So it is your kids decision whether he gets hit or not, The dad says well your kid is bigger he shouldn't be hitting my kid. I told him to remind his little bully that when you hang crap on bigger kids there is a good chance of getting your ass beat. Never had another problem. And Brian hated wearing glasses so much by the time he was 12 he had trained his eyes not too need them. The eye doctor couldn't believe it.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:31 am

YZGI;585149 wrote: Same thing happened with my oldest son. When he was in second grade he was getting bullyed and teased about wearing really thick glasses. Now he was one of the biggest kids in his class but was too soft hearted to do anything. Finally when he told me about it, I told him next time they call him four eyes or whatever, take your glasses off, set them down and knock the little bastard right in the nose. Well That afternoon I got a call from the school. Brian was in a fight. I went to the school, told the principle the situation, also told the principle that it was me who told Brian to do it. He said he understood but there was a zero tolerance policy so He was suspended for two days. As I walked out of the office the dad of the kid he hit was walking in to pick up his kid. I stopped and told the dad that it was my kid who hit his. He started to get a bit angry with me and I told him that every time his kid pushes or teases my kid that my son has my permission to beat the hell out of him. So it is your kids decision whether he gets hit or not, The dad says well your kid is bigger he shouldn't be hitting my kid. I told him to remind his little bully that when you hang crap on bigger kids there is a good chance of getting your ass beat. Never had another problem. And Brian hated wearing glasses so much by the time he was 12 he had trained his eyes not too need them. The eye doctor couldn't believe it.

Thats awesome!! I love to hear those kind of stories!! Good for you.

Unfortunately my boys father has NO interaction with them, he has NO clue nor does he care. So everything is left for me to take care of! They don't even tell their father about their feelings or problems when they do see him every once in a while when he can "squeeze" them in... Anyway.....I just got off the phone with one of my sons' teachers...and she said she knows the one boy and he will be dealt with, but the other one that my son named is a shock to both of the teachers!...He obviously is a "good boy" and no one thinks he could do such a thing....:-5

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:31 am

YZGI :-4

Zero tolerance my ass. They weren't 'zero-tolerating" it before!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:48 am

A 13 year old boy from my daughters school was being bullied by a girl. He hanged himself 2 weeks ago.

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:48 am

I was bullied at school, by a girl 4 yrs older than me. Only for a couple of weeks though. My sister went to her house and told her parents exactly what she thought of a 16yr old bullying a 12yr old.

Thats my recommendation. Speak to the kids parents and if that doesn't work, then put posters up each night at their house telling the world what kind of faily lives there!

Being violent back will only exacerbate the situation. I would NOT recommend it.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:01 am

I disagree. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I know my problems did not stop until I took them in hand. Literally.

Ciao, Bella! · Post by **Ciao, Bella!** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:05 am

I too was bullied. Eventually, I spoke up and told my tormentors to go look in the mirror and take it up with themselves. It worked!

Now, if I see them when I go home, they act as though we are best friends! I breeze right on past, with my nose in the air...

Bullying is a very, very serious problem. It almost always stems from feelings of inadequacy, (sp?), and 9 times out of 10, that starts at home.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:05 am

Uncle Kram;585164 wrote: A 13 year old boy from my daughters school was being bullied by a girl. He hanged himself 2 weeks ago.:-1 :-1

That is just horrible, was talking with my mom about it this morning...what happens sometimes, and my son is very sensitive, wants people to love him...so I'm really wanting this to be resolved.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:23 am

Coming from a large family, I always had back up.

YZGI - Our Father also gave us permission - my Father had ZERO TOLERANCE.

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:27 am

Patsy Warnick;585176 wrote: Coming from a large family, I always had back up.

YZGI - Our Father also gave us permission - my Father had ZERO TOLERANCE.

Patsy

Oh, I understand...and my older 2 don't know yet...should be a fun weekend of training and coaching...:wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:27 am

YZGI;585149 wrote: Same thing happened with my oldest son. When he was in second grade he was getting bullyed and teased about wearing really thick glasses. Now he was one of the biggest kids in his class but was too soft hearted to do anything. Finally when he told me about it, I told him next time they call him four eyes or whatever, take your glasses off, set them down and knock the little bastard right in the nose. Well That afternoon I got a call from the school. Brian was in a fight. I went to the school, told the principle the situation, also told the principle that it was me who told Brian to do it. He said he understood but there was a zero tolerance policy so He was suspended for two days. As I walked out of the office the dad of the kid he hit was walking in to pick up his kid. I stopped and told the dad that it was my kid who hit his. He started to get a bit angry with me and I told him that every time his kid pushes or teases my kid that my son has my permission to beat the hell out of him. So it is your kids decision whether he gets hit or not, The dad says well your kid is bigger he shouldn't be hitting my kid. I told him to remind his little bully that when you hang crap on bigger kids there is a good chance of getting your ass beat. Never had another problem. And Brian hated wearing glasses so much by the time he was 12 he had trained his eyes not too need them. The eye doctor couldn't believe it.

violence is seldom the answer but when it is its the only answer , i have found out through my life if some one is nasty and you turn the other cheek they will keep being nasty till they are made to understand that if they pick on you there will be repercussions , in all my adult life i have never ever started a fight ,and i get into so many as people see me as a guy who avoids fights so they think they have an easy target , but once i fight back they never pick on me again

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:30 am

jimbo;585190 wrote: violence is seldom the answer but when it is its the only answer , i have found out through my life if some one is nasty and you turn the other cheek they will keep being nasty till they are made to understand that if they pick on you there will be repercussions , in all my adult life i have never ever started a fight ,and i get into so many as people see me as a guy who avoids fights so they think they have an easy target , but once i fight back they never pick on me again

I agree and I'm sure that would be the same for my son who needs to have alittle more confidence in himself also. My oldest went through this when he was about the same age, so I'm wondering how that will be handled...

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:04 am

I think Wendy once the the older brothers find out, they get your youngest ready.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:17 am

One of the teachers just called me again (2nd time she's called me) She LOVES my son! She wants to ask him questions, cause she is getting the run around from the kid that she thinks is innocent. He is trying to pull in one of my sons' friends into it...oh this is getting interesting.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:36 am

WonderWendy3;585212 wrote: One of the teachers just called me again (2nd time she's called me) She LOVES my son! She wants to ask him questions, cause she is getting the run around from the kid that she thinks is innocent. He is trying to pull in one of my sons' friends into it...oh this is getting interesting.

call dg , she scares me :-3 :-3

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:38 am

Oh WW3 My daughter is on her way. She will beat the tar out of them.

These stories make me so sad, and frustrated.

My oldest daughter was a "victim" for a year and we had no idea, her bahavior was so awful during that year, she had temper tantrums every night before bed, and one nite she stomped her feet so hard she strained a legiment in her heel, we tried everything in the book to "dicipline" her only at years end did we find out it was because she was being bullied. It broke my heart to know we did nothing.

I wish I had a solution, my gut instinct says bullies deserve a good dose of what they dish out. Then their parents deserve a good smack. Fighting back seems so wrong but on the other hand it seems to make the bullies stand up and take notice. Your son is an easy target because he won't fight back, if he did they would move onto another kid. I hate the dilema it's a huge problem all over the country here.

The results of being a victim range from suicide to hard core tough kids. My daughter took the latter stand, we often comment on the fact that if Jr Minks was ever in trouble her sister would be there to kick some serious butt. She is a force to reckon with yet to meet her she is pure loveliness.

Hunny I feel awful you as mom are going through this. Just always keep the communication with your son open, and go in and see the teachers and principle and be ruthless.

Huggs

M

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:36 am

jimbo;585190 wrote: violence is seldom the answer but when it is its the only answer , i have found out through my life if some one is nasty and you turn the other cheek they will keep being nasty till they are made to understand that if they pick on you there will be repercussions , in all my adult life i have never ever started a fight ,and i get into so many as people see me as a guy who avoids fights so they think they have an easy target , but once i fight back they never pick on me again

Same here jimbo. And I have lost a couple. But even when I lost they always knew I would go if pushed hard enough and they never enjoyed it even though they probably technically won.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:51 am

YZGI;585267 wrote: Same here jimbo. And I have lost a couple. But even when I lost they always knew I would go if pushed hard enough and they never enjoyed it even though they probably technically won.

my point exactly my point buddy , buddy i have not won every fight but if i have lost i made damn sure they thought leave jimbo alone he bites pulls hair and would fight till his dying breath it just aint worth it , lets go pick on someone else :wah: :wah:

my school days were a nightmare ,this massive guy was over a foot taller than me ,but my grandad had a plan ,i could not get near the bigger boy ,my grandads plan was as he punched just lower my head a little he kept punching me in the head and broke his hand ,i won but in those days i had hair i just combed it foreward over my lumps and bruises ,i'm not so sure my plan would work now though :rolleyes:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:10 pm

jimbo;585284 wrote: my point exactly my point buddy , buddy i have not won every fight but if i have lost i made damn sure they thought leave jimbo alone he bites pulls hair and would fight till his dying breath it just aint worth it , lets go pick on someone else :wah: :wah:

my school days were a nightmare ,this massive guy was over a foot taller than me ,but my grandad had a plan ,i could not get near the bigger boy ,my grandads plan was as he punched just lower my head a little he kept punching me in the head and broke his hand ,i won but in those days i had hair i just combed it foreward over my lumps and bruises ,i'm not so sure my plan would work now though :rolleyes:
Yeah I can sometimes throw one hell of a chin.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:08 pm

YZGI;585296 wrote: Yeah I can sometimes throw one hell of a chin.

yup i'm the only guy in town with cauliflower ass :wah:

but at least i keep getting back :rolleyes: up

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:15 pm

Far Rider;585292 wrote: You guys are killin me...:wah:

I hated bullies...

Two of the towns bigger kids decided to pick on my youngest brother one day... I walked into the middle of it not realizing at first that it was my little brother being raised to make him hang onto the backboard and hoop of the basketball pole. At first I was just lookin to see what the commotion was about...

When I saw them hoisting my little borther up I became enraged... I beat the livin tar out of them two kids, bigger didnt matter to me at the moment, and them kids stayed a good distance from me after that.

good on you

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:28 pm

Thank you so much for all of your support...I've enjoyed everyone's feedback, it means so much to me...honestly it does!!:-4

I found out that my oldest and middle boy know already. I talked to my youngest at lunch time and he said that he told them last night in the car on the way home from Karate.

I laughed so hard at this, I had tears:

The middle one who is the peace maker and built like a BRICK house...big and stocky, but as gentle as a bunny....says "you need to calm down, sit down and get the parents involved and everyone talk it out!"...I was laughing at that one alone, then the oldest one says "bump that - next time that kid lays a finger on you, you grab him by the color and punch him righ in HIS face".... Needless to say the oldest one has been through this and has a tiny anger problem...:wah: :wah:

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:12 pm

with a son of my own, that almost makes me cry too

I know your first instinct is to kick those boys tails, but you handled it the right way.

It breaks my heart for you little one though

I hope it all works out soon!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 1:55 am

WW try not to be too hard on your son ,if you are not the sort of person who likes getting in fights then its really hard to stand up for yourself,my dad used to tell me that if i did not hit the much bigger lads back then he would beat me ,all he did was make it so i did not tell him about it , i have two sons the older one would not stand up for himself , i have had to jump in and save him from an ass kicking many a time from grown men in their thirties ,he is a big lad 6 foot 3 and wieghs 230 pounds he is very strong but hates fighting just like me ,the other son is 19 6foot 4 and 200 pounds but where he had an older brother and is used to it ,i cant keep him outa fights ,but if my older son ever turned there would be no stopping him ,its just getting him to not take that first backward step :-6 one day he wont take it :-3

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:21 am

WonderWendy3;585129 wrote: Okay I need help, my youngest son has been upset for about 3 weeks...and he wouldn't tell me when I would ask him, he'd brush me off. I could tell something is bothering him. My Brother is a black belt and has started a Karate class at the Church and my 2 younger boys have been going. I was hoping that would help his self-esteem, and it has a little.

This morning I had a hard time getting Caleb up, and I was getting upset with him, because I've been late to work trying to get him up and out in the mornings...well he finally broke down this morning and told me that there are 2 kids in school that are punching him in the face and one tried to punch him in his private area!! He was crying so hard about it...and I started crying...I just left him at home and went to work...called the teacher, gave him the names of the kids and he said he will see what he can do.

I know this is an age old problem...just is upsetting...:-5

Wendy i really hope your son gets past this . I remember when my daughter was very young and her father had just died and she was bullied for that ( kids really can be little shits) . I approached the school who promised to sort it out , well they gave her a designated adult whom she could go to..only when she did the person would tell her to stop 'telling tales' so in actual fact for a while it made things worse .The long and short of it was, my daughter was moved class and eventually it turned out the school had a massive bullying problem that they didn't want to admit . In the end after much complaining they put in a bullying program and it helped a lot of kids . My advice to you is make waves, make lots of noise and make the school intervene and implement some sort of anti bullying progarm. Good luck, i hope you get it sorted something like this can scar a child for life .:-6

... i also think in later life it takes a braver man to walk away - there's nothing attractive about grown men brawling .

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:27 am

Some people just seem to invite bullying. It's in their passive nature. I have read that if you take a kid out of a school because of bullying, the chances are that they will be bullied in their new school for exactly that reason.

I was bullied and put down all my childhood by my Dad. I was bullied on and off at school too. I was also bullied and put down by my ex-wife. Even in the workplace, two individuals bullied me. When I got divorced bullying became something I vowed never to endure again. It's easier to do that in middle age than it would be for a kid at school, but as a work colleague discovered to his immense surprise, Krammy aint taking no sh1t off anyone ever again.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 5:18 am

Uncle Kram;585690 wrote: Some people just seem to invite bullying. It's in their passive nature. I have read that if you take a kid out of a school because of bullying, the chances are that they will be bullied in their new school for exactly that reason.

I was bullied and put down all my childhood by my Dad. I was bullied on and off at school too. I was also bullied and put down by my ex-wife. Even in the workplace, two individuals bullied me. When I got divorced bullying became something I vowed never to endure again. It's easier to do that in middle age than it would be for a kid at school, but as a work colleague discovered to his immense surprise, Krammy aint taking no sh1t off anyone ever again.

well done krambo ,, me niether :-6 if thats ok with you

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:19 am

Uncle Kram;585690 wrote: Some people just seem to invite bullying. It's in their passive nature. I have read that if you take a kid out of a school because of bullying, the chances are that they will be bullied in their new school for exactly that reason.

I was bullied and put down all my childhood by my Dad. I was bullied on and off at school too. I was also bullied and put down by my ex-wife. Even in the workplace, two individuals bullied me. When I got divorced bullying became something I vowed never to endure again. It's easier to do that in middle age than it would be for a kid at school, but as a work colleague discovered to his immense surprise, Krammy aint taking no sh1t off anyone ever again.

yh_clap :yh_clap Well said, and I can relate to that also!

Thanks again to everyone so much for your help in this, I really appreciate all of the kind words and help.:-4