i feel completely morbid and evil and it wont stop!

Parker_scramble · Post by **Parker_scramble** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:44 am

im fascinated with death (ive posted it on another board before)..

y?

agrhgrhhrhgrrghgrhgrhghg

i dont feel right. i feel like a hybrid between the guy from american psycho and fight club.

i've tried seeing therapists before, but not to brag, i'm too smart for them... its not that im a genius or anything, its just that i read tons of psychology/psychiatry books from boredom. i can predict what therapists say next.

its weird. i've joined this message board where people post people who died recently's myspace sites .... its a board that has like at least 5 thousand people who everyday post and talk about people who just died and we all look at their myspace and look at the grieving process and its not that we make fun of them... we just look at their pages.. its kinda creepy. we all think its normal and its not right.

i walk around thinking of worst case scenarios.

i will never take my life or do any harm to me. but its just that i dont care. if an asteroid hit earth tomorrow i honestly wouldnt care.

its weird.. i have a beautiful gf. i am going to school. im doing pretty good to be honest. and i wouldnt say im depressed because i was put on effexor RL before and it just didnt work.

sorry to bum the board, but im seriously trying to find answers.

any advice?

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:13 am

You should go and get help, this time try not to anwser there questions the way they want to here them. Anwser honestly. See what they say. Maybe, nothing is wrong with you. I had gone to college and took pshyc. classes. So, it would be hard for me to go see one, because I know what they want to here. All I can tell you, is go talk to one and be honest. good luck tazz

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:24 am

Go watch a couple of post mortems , trust me that'll cure you

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:25 am

Parker_scramble;579960 wrote: im fascinated with death (ive posted it on another board before)..

y?

agrhgrhhrhgrrghgrhgrhghg

i dont feel right. i feel like a hybrid between the guy from american psycho and fight club.

i've tried seeing therapists before, but not to brag, i'm too smart for them... its not that im a genius or anything, its just that i read tons of psychology/psychiatry books from boredom. i can predict what therapists say next.

its weird. i've joined this message board where people post people who died recently's myspace sites .... its a board that has like at least 5 thousand people who everyday post and talk about people who just died and we all look at their myspace and look at the grieving process and its not that we make fun of them... we just look at their pages.. its kinda creepy. we all think its normal and its not right.

i walk around thinking of worst case scenarios.

i will never take my life or do any harm to me. but its just that i dont care. if an asteroid hit earth tomorrow i honestly wouldnt care.

its weird.. i have a beautiful gf. i am going to school. im doing pretty good to be honest. and i wouldnt say im depressed because i was put on effexor RL before and it just didnt work.

sorry to bum the board, but im seriously trying to find answers.

any advice?

wow buddy I had to get married to feel like that :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:15 am

You could turn this around, and make it a positive. You dont fear death. Thats great, you dont have to spend your whole life dreading it, or feeling afraid. Since youve said you wouldnt consider suicide, I think its safe to say, your feelings are in the normal zone. The issue that I would investigate, if I were counseling you would be... Since you have to hang out , alive for a while... why not try to find some joy in living. If only to pass the time while you wait? Because with an attitude like yours, you will more than like ly lead a very long life. You may have even found the key to being stress free.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:56 am

a lot of you will think I'm talking like a moron as usual here

I think the reason a lot of guys mainly young but some older as well ,seem to dwell on sad ,morbid ,bad violent thoughts is .... coz its easy ... well if you think about it , feeling angry punch a door the pain adds to the anger punch it some more you are in controll , feeling down ,feeling low think of all the bad things in your life you fuel those thoughts you are in control its easy , you are feeling angry try laughing joking when every fibre in your body wants too scream out in violent rage ... now that aint easy is it ... i noticed in my 22 year old son ,he has been horrible to every girl he has been with ,he is very good looking (funny that so was the mail man)girls flock to him ,but this girl has done it too him he is upset and cant break out of his angry bad mood ,I have tried telling him when I was his age more or less I had to watch his sister die ,then carry her coffin to her grave and watch her tiny casket get lowered down ,I said to him last night if he cant cope with a girl dumping him how the hell would he cope with a proper drama , I think the penny dropped today he is trying to take control a bit , but it would of been much easier for him to keep punching doors etc ,:-6 :-6

Post by **spot** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:09 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com;579970 wrote: Go watch a couple of post mortems , trust me that'll cure youToo many people go through life just watching. The way to learn is to do.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:11 am

I'd advise against pushing it away. If you have the fascination you have to examine it. Pushing it away will just cause it to brew beneath the surface.

But I'm not telling you to act on it ie) pulling wings off insects or fairies.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:19 am

P.S...I'm not that freaked by your post. I used to go to gore sites and forensics places looking to put a face on death. I wanted to see how many ways death could render a person. It made me sick to see that stuff and disturbed me for a good long time but after a while I got to where I could see it for what it was and was able to break down the parts that bothered me. I learned that death is a random animal and no one escapes it. I don't know why I did it really, I just had a morbid curiosity I suppose. It bothered me that I did it but I "had my fill" so to speak and then I just stopped. I did the same thing with pathology sites. There's something unwitting about seeing babies with two heads or no brain or people with maladies that have no reason. Not to get religious on you but I think in all instances, the question in my mind was "How can God do such a thing?!" You know, like I thought with God there were supposedly no mistakes but clearly these were some dire mistakes made, so how did that fit into the scheme of things? I didn't get my answer to that but somehow just figuring out my own question was an answer in itself. If that makes any sense.

I doubt you're any kind of abnormal. But if it really bothers you or starts messing up your life go see someone about it.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:39 am

Parker

What do you do for a living? With your facination with death, why don't you get into a profession associated with death. I'm serious, not everyone can deal being a Mortician, Medical Examiner, etc.. Volunteer in this field, put your knowledge to work.

I'm not afraid of death - I don't get upset,disturbed with different scenarios of death. I can touch a dead body - I've prepared some for their coffin appearance, but with my experiences comes the appreciation for living.

Enjoy the now - don't worry about your lease of life.

Patsy

destroyerofdreams · Post by **destroyerofdreams** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:15 pm

I wouldn't worry my best mate sleeps in a cofin and has his own headstone just awaiting his d.o.d he constantly watches the faces of death videos and even wants to attend his own wake so you really aren't that morbid.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:02 pm

Patsy Warnick;580334 wrote: Parker

What do you do for a living? With your facination with death, why don't you get into a profession associated with death. I'm serious, not everyone can deal being a Mortician, Medical Examiner, etc.. Volunteer in this field, put your knowledge to work.

I'm not afraid of death - I don't get upset,disturbed with different scenarios of death. I can touch a dead body - I've prepared some for their coffin appearance, but with my experiences comes the appreciation for living.

Enjoy the now - don't worry about your lease of life.

PatsyGreat Suggestion

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:14 pm

Parker_scramble;579960 wrote: im fascinated with death (ive posted it on another board before)..

i dont feel right. i feel like a hybrid between the guy from american psycho and fight club.

i've tried seeing therapists before, but not to brag, i'm too smart for them... its not that im a genius or anything, its just that i read tons of psychology/psychiatry books from boredom. i can predict what therapists say next.

i walk around thinking of worst case scenarios.

i will never take my life or do any harm to me. but its just that i dont care. if an asteroid hit earth tomorrow i honestly wouldnt care.

its weird.. i have a beautiful gf. i am going to school. im doing pretty good to be honest. and i wouldnt say im depressed because i was put on effexor RL before and it just didnt work.

sorry to bum the board, but im seriously trying to find answers.

any advice?

I think you're bloody bored. Honestly. You probably feel numb too, right? Or perhaps empty? I could be wrong, though. But that's my feeling.

Oh, and stop reading all that psychiatric junk. I'm assuming you're the type to get an idea in your head and to constantly think and think and think about it and you can't stop. I could be wrong. But you seem pretty obsessive to me. All that psych 101 garbage isn't going to help you. You'll just end up understanding your thought processes, but I doubt that'll lead you to do anything about it. Besides, psychology isn't an exact science, so don't treat it as such.

As for therapy... most people will read what you write and say, "Oh my god, go get help now! Something is terribly wrong." No, something is not terribly wrong. You're expressing thoughts/emotions that everyone has at some point or another. Ditch the therapy for now. If you're in no danger of hurting yourself and/or others, I'd let it go. Eh, pm or email me if you'd like. I might be able to help as I have some experience in this area.