Getting OVer a Lover

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:27 pm

How long should it take to stop grieving the loss of a lover and a relationship? Anybody here know how long? I mean the actual crying, when does it stop hurting?:-1

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:37 pm

Depends on a ton of things. How deeply you loved them, how long it lasted, how it ended, everything. I doubt anyone could tell you a set time range. One took me a number of months and one took me about 7 years to get over. Depends on you too. Is this that same guy you told me about?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:21 pm

Cin

There is no set time. But with time - things, situation will get better.

When one door closes another door opens.

Keep your chin up

Patsy

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:30 pm

To get over someone, get under someone else.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:45 pm

Kathy Ellen

Tells me you wasted time - as we all have.

Sorry Cin - its that roller coaster of life.

Patsy

Mitch · Post by **Mitch** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:47 pm

As long as it takes for you to accept it, Some take it easier then others. I have been there, took me 5 months. It does eventually stop, all the pain and crying does go. I do feel for you.

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:29 pm

Took me almost 7 years to stop hurting from my marriage.

only time honey, only time.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:18 pm

CIN

STOP CRYING - theres noting wrong with the other to move on - its the fact its out of your control. The other didn't really move on to better, just made a move (like a game of checkers) Remember the good - bad - ugly and improve and grow - learn from that experience. You can stop crying - that person can still remain your friend and in time will try to be your friend, because they learned they made a mistake to move on..!! It'll all be OK - and you will move on and wondered why you cried.??..

Be good to yourself

Patsy

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:57 pm

look at it this way cin..he wasn't as smart as you thought....he gave up a good woman.....his loss......sorry you are hurting.......

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:20 am

RedGlitter;577635 wrote: Depends on a ton of things. How deeply you loved them, how long it lasted, how it ended, everything. I doubt anyone could tell you a set time range. One took me a number of months and one took me about 7 years to get over. Depends on you too. Is this that same guy you told me about?

exactly the same for me red, depends if you have been hurt before ,i think once someone smashes your heart you never really trust them not to do it all over again do you

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:27 am

jimbo;577763 wrote: exactly the same for me red, depends if you have been hurt before ,i think once someone smashes your heart you never really trust them not to do it all over again do you

I think I will agree with red and Jimbo( that is a first for jimbo) It is going to take a long time. It also depends on you. Will you ever trust someone again, yes, but it will take awhile. Please do not hurt anyone out of revenge or just being lonely. Take your time and find someone you will like. I could go on on this subject, but, I will not.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:50 am

On the serious note, cin, it takes a long time if you are really in love with someone to get over them, it took me a long time anyway, but you do. For a lover, well not so long, though if it was a good realtionship then yes, a little while as well. It is all dependent again, on the person, and the time involved. :-6

Less seriously my motto nowadays is "There's nothing like getting over someone by getting on top of someone else", even if its only to scratch an itch. :wah:

CrazyCruizChick · Post by **CrazyCruizChick** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:51 am

I find what ever you do in this situation is to remember the pain is going to be there and probably for a long while and you will be hurt for how long you are .

Try and keep on top of things in your life as you are a very important person and only you can fight whatever downside all this is going to put you through .

Try and keep a daily routine maybe try and spend more time with close friends .

There's always going to be changes in our lives and this is normal , look at it as a good thing something positive , look forward to whats ahead .

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 3:56 am

The love of my life died in an accident in 1969.

I think of him often.

Took me about 6 years to totaly get over my divorce from the father of my sons.

4 years to recover from my last breakup.

Loving and losing is definately better than not having loved at all.

I think the pain becomes part of you, and changes you.

Only you have the ability to work through the hurt, and to determine

how long you suffer. There is a lot of stuff to work through, to get to

a place that becomes comfortable. If you werent a loving person, and you didnt give anything of yourself, you wouldnt feel anything.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to be dissapointed and hurting.

Recovery time is lifes insurance policy that keeps us from moving on too quickly, to something that is not right for us.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:21 am

weeder;577813 wrote: The love of my life died in an accident in 1969.

I think of him often.

Took me about 6 years to totaly get over my divorce from the father of my sons.

4 years to recover from my last breakup.

Loving and losing is definately better than not having loved at all.

I think the pain becomes part of you, and changes you.

Only you have the ability to work through the hurt, and to determine

how long you suffer. There is a lot of stuff to work through, to get to

a place that becomes comfortable. If you werent a loving person, and you didnt give anything of yourself, you wouldnt feel anything.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to be dissapointed and hurting.

Recovery time is lifes insurance policy that keeps us from moving on too quickly, to something that is not right for us.

Weeder :-4

Another beautifully worded post :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:24 am

Allow yourself pain. Really look at it. Then allow it to go. It will guide you in your next endeavor.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:31 am

Nomad;577887 wrote: Allow yourself pain. Really look at it. Then allow it to go. It will guide you in your next endeavor.

Beautiful, Nomad

dubs · Post by **dubs** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:05 am

Do you ever get over it really? I mean how do you stop the experience, from colouring your view, in future relationships?..

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:38 am

Pinky;577915 wrote: For instance, if one situation ended badly because of betrayal, that doesn't mean that you should never trust anyone ever again...we'd all end up a bunch of bitter twisted lonely people wouldn't we?

Absolutely, Pinks

I always tell people to remain optimistic and trusting, but to find a 'better audience' for your gifts :-4

dubs · Post by **dubs** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:27 pm

Pinky;577915 wrote: I don't think you can judge all relationships by the ones you've had, after all, people are all different and respond to things in different ways. If we let ourselvesjudge every situation by the ones we've already been in, none of us would ever move on or find any kind of happiness. For instance, if one situation ended badly because of betrayal, that doesn't mean that you should never trust anyone ever again...we'd all end up a bunch of bitter twisted lonely people wouldn't we?

Oh good God no!.....You can't sit crying in your Beer, life is always moving forwards, never back! I agree with what Cher said, The trusting part may take some time though, but you definitely need optimism......

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 3:59 pm

thanks to everyone who replied. It's much better than it was 3 months ago, considering the situation I was in was much worse than now. And since I left I have a new place to live and a new job I really like. Before I didn't even have those things. And he has heard that I am doing so much better than when I was with him.

But I still cry over him. And at that time it feel like I just left him yesterday.:-1