Bereaved People

princessNicky · Post by **princessNicky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 am

Redglitter my heart goes out to you . I've recently lost my mother and i miss her like crazy

we were very close and i still wonder if the pain will ever get easier to bare .

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:21 am

I know this is for children................I lost 2 Aunts..........90+years old and one Uncle 88 years old....... in the past 3 months.

It has been very sad to lose the elders of our family. It had been a sad watch for them. It has now come down to all the cousins to keep their strength of family alive. I know many families just break apart.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:26 am

Hi Princess Nicky.

I am sorry you have lost your mom. I know nothing I could say would make you feel better. I lost my mom seven months ago from cancer. It's still fresh and sometimes it smacks me in the face that she is gone. I am surviving but it doesn't feel like the same life I was living before. I'll be going on about my business when !POW! it smacks me right in the face that Mom's gone! Then it's a shock all over again. I was incredibly close to my mom. We have a bond that even death can't break. I won't pretend to know how you feel as everyone is different but I think I have a pretty good idea.

All I can say is you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep pressing on. I can't say it gets easier or better because I'm not there yet myself. Others tell me it gets easier. While I can't say that yet, I can say that I've accepted what's happened and I'm keeping on because I know my mom would want me to do just that. I bet your mom is the same.

Are you a person of faith at all? Or religious? If you have even a tiny grain of faith, then this is the time to tap into it. I'm not a churchgoing type of person but I do have faith and I think that's part of why I've handled my mom's loss so well. In my heart I know she's with God. I also believe in the afterlife, always have, and so it's easier for me because I know as well as anyone possibly can, that she's not "dead" but rather on another plane of existence, and we'll see each other again in time. I wonder how you feel about these things? If there is anything there that holds true for you too?

Don't give up. You can get through this. I know how much pain you must be in. My mom was my heart. If you want to talk about your mom, please feel free to talk away to me, I have good ears.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:28 am

I'm sorry to swipe this thread............

I am so sad to lose the Aunties and Uncles who meant so much in my life. It has been a very sad time for me. Two of them were my Godparents...........they took that responsibility more in deed than name. I already miss them soooo much. We talked at least once a month.

princessNicky · Post by **princessNicky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:41 am

RedGlitter;509730 wrote: Hi Princess Nicky.

I am sorry you have lost your mom. I know nothing I could say would make you feel better. I lost my mom seven months ago from cancer. It's still fresh and sometimes it smacks me in the face that she is gone. I am surviving but it doesn't feel like the same life I was living before. I'll be going on about my business when !POW! it smacks me right in the face that Mom's gone! Then it's a shock all over again. I was incredibly close to my mom. We have a bond that even death can't break. I won't pretend to know how you feel as everyone is different but I think I have a pretty good idea.

All I can say is you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep pressing on. I can't say it gets easier or better because I'm not there yet myself. Others tell me it gets easier. While I can't say that yet, I can say that I've accepted what's happened and I'm keeping on because I know my mom would want me to do just that. I bet your mom is the same.

Are you a person of faith at all? Or religious? If you have even a tiny grain of faith, then this is the time to tap into it. I'm not a churchgoing type of person but I do have faith and I think that's part of why I've handled my mom's loss so well. In my heart I know she's with God. I also believe in the afterlife, always have, and so it's easier for me because I know as well as anyone possibly can, that she's not "dead" but rather on another plane of existence, and we'll see each other again in time. I wonder how you feel about these things? If there is anything there that holds true for you too?

Don't give up. You can get through this. I know how much pain you must be in. My mom was my heart. If you want to talk about your mom, please feel free to talk away to me, I have good ears.

Some how losing my mother who was best friend is harder . Its hard that she will never see her grandchildren grow up and never be there to give me advice again . I miss her every day . Redglitter i do know what your going through. My mum died of Cancer to - lung cancer .

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:51 am

princessNicky;509745 wrote: Some how losing my mother who was best friend is harder . Its hard that she will never see her grandchildren grow up and never be there to give me advice again . I miss her every day . Redglitter i do know what your going through. My mum died of Cancer to - lung cancer .

I lost my DAD when I was 5..............it hurts soooo bad to lose a parent so young.

princessNicky · Post by **princessNicky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:23 am

nvalleyvee;509753 wrote: I lost my DAD when I was 5..............it hurts soooo bad to lose a parent so young.

That's really awful . My big worry is that my children will be deeply affected by their father's death when they were very young .

redman · Post by **redman** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:28 am

RedGlitter;440968 wrote: Hi Nomad, thank you. I am sorry you know this pain too. It will be five months on November 4. And November 13 would be my mom's 66th birthday.

Hi Jimbo, you are so right about talking being helpful to both! I'm not a support group type of person, but in this case, I've been reaching out to people a lot instead of withdrawing inside myself. I still find myself faltering when it comes to knowing what to say to someone else who's lost someone though.

I try hard but sometimes I have to be honest and say I don't really know what to say...but I can listen. I can do that much.

:) Two of my favorite FG men right here! How cool is that? :-4

WE,MY WIFE AND I are just starting,only day 1, she lost her mum yesterday,how will we ever be able to smile and be happy again?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:12 pm

redman;539375 wrote: WE,MY WIFE AND I are just starting,only day 1, she lost her mum yesterday,how will we ever be able to smile and be happy again?

dear redman , your loss has been great , right now every thing may seem hope less but i promise life will get better bit by bit , little by little i swear it ,i have lost many family members and slowly my life has got better , life is worth living it really is what you make it though , its like this some terrible things are going on in our lives at the moment , something happened really bad this week so bad i could not post here , so bad i could hardley walk , i broke down in front of my 22 year pld son for the first time ever ,i could hardly breath i felt in so much pain , but with tears streaming down my face , i managed to laugh and joke with some of my friends on f g , and i slowly came round a bit ,my mood changed but it only changed ,because i wanted it to change i did not want to feel down , i feel thats what you both have to do its not easy and as i say its little by little, if i'm down i think of the worst day i ever had and if i dont feel like that i'm going in the right direction:-6

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:19 pm

redman;539375 wrote: WE,MY WIFE AND I are just starting,only day 1, she lost her mum yesterday,how will we ever be able to smile and be happy again?:yh_hugs :yh_hugs

jimbo;539571 wrote: dear redman , your loss has been great , right now every thing may seem hope less but i promise life will get better bit by bit , little by little i swear it ,i have lost many family members and slowly my life has got better , life is worth living it really is what you make it though , its like this some terrible things are going on in our lives at the moment , something happened really bad this week so bad i could not post here , so bad i could hardley walk , i broke down in front of my 22 year pld son for the first time ever ,i could hardly breath i felt in so much pain , but with tears streaming down my face , i managed to laugh and joke with some of my friends on f g , and i slowly came round a bit ,my mood changed but it only changed ,because i wanted it to change i did not want to feel down , i feel thats what you both have to do its not easy and as i say its little by little, if i'm down i think of the worst day i ever had and if i dont feel like that i'm going in the right direction:-6Ya gotta love this guy. :-4

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 8:41 pm

Dear Redman,

I am so sorry. I'm sure you're hearing that a lot but it's sincere. Jimbo is so right in what he says and believe me, if I can tell you that after losing my mom, it's true. Time is the best healer. That's cliche`d but so true.

Time...talking...friends. People will say "If I can do anything to help..." They don't know what to do but they want to help you. Let them. Talk with them if it helps you, talk with others who have suffered loss. Don't bottle it in because it will mess you up. If y ou need something or you justw ant to talk to someone, pick up the phone and call your friends. I'm kind of a loner but I could not have gotten this far (8 months today) without my friends and my family.

May I suggest a book? "Grieving the Death of a Mother" by Harold Ivan Smith. Not a long or complicated book at all but one of the most helpful things I could recommend. I read it every night to fall asleep and sometimes still do.

Let me know if I can help, Redman. Thank you.

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:34 am

I have a little secret myself, that my friends in r/l life know about, but only ONE PERSON here at FG knows about...that's Guppy.

6 months ago today, I lost my 2nd wife, and my soul mate to a drunk driver. We were together for 5 years, with not as much as an arguement between us. That is after a 13 year nightmare with my 1st wife. I thought and swore I would never marry again after the fiasco with the 1st wife. When I met my 2nd wife while working for Microsoft in Canada, we knew it was right between us. We had 5 of the best years any 2 people could ever ask for.

One night late, her son called for a ride home. Being the good wife & mother that she was, she told me to stay in bed and get some sleep, since I had some serious driving to do in the morning, and she would go get him. She left at 11:30pm.

I woke up at 2:30am and wondered where she could be, since it was a fairly short ride to where she had to go & get her son. A very sick feeling came over me, and then a moment of panic as I feared the worst. Within a minute of that, my home phone rang. When I looked at the caller ID & saw that the number was of the local Police Department, I dropped to my knees. My wife & I never drink, so being arrested wasn't an option I was concerned with...& I was suddenly scared to answer the phone. When I did I asked if my wife was alright, not even caring to know who was on the other end of the phone. The silence was so long, that before the man answered me, I knew what he was going to say. My wife had been killed in an automobile accident by a "suspected" drunk driver, and my step son was in the hospital. He lost both his legs below the knee.

The guy that killed her had 2 previous DUI's, both with accidents involved...and 1 of them involving major injury. He crippled a 16 year old boy on a bicycle 3 years previous. When I went to his trial, and he pleaded guilty to a plea bargain, he tried to apologize for what he did. He told the judge "I'm sorry I killed that lady your honor". That P.O.S. didn't even bother to learn the name of the woman he killed. When the judge gave him 90 days....yes 90 FREAKIN' DAYS in jail for his crime, I shouted out that I thought that was BS. I spent 3 days in jail myself for climbing over the railing, pushing the Bailiff out of the way, and POUNDING the SH!T out of the guy for about 20 seconds before the other Bailiffs could get me off of him. I told the judge I wanted to go to jail when he cited me for contempt, and told me to make me that guy's cell mate.

My friends & relatives all gave me support, and helped me as much as they could with dealing with it. I was a mess. I am closer than ever with my kids, my relatives, and my friends now days. I didn't even talk to another woman for almost 4 months. I finally opened up to this really cool lady I met, and she has helped me out A WHOLE BUNCH, when it comes to dealing with this. Thanks Guppy!

One thing my wife & I always made sure of, was that the last thing we did when parting was to proclaim our love for each other.....just in case it was the last time we ever saw each other. I never thought that might actually be the case, but it was.

Friends, never be afraid to tell some that you love them, if you do. You honestly never can tell if that is the last time you'll see them, and you'll never have the chance to tell them again. It eases my mind just a little, knowing that I had that chance.

I miss her every day

Mi Amore` Mi Stella Luminosa

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:42 am

Craig James;560676 wrote: I have a little secret myself, that my friends in r/l life know about, but only ONE PERSON here at FG knows about...that's Guppy.

6 months ago today, I lost my 2nd wife, and my soul mate to a drunk driver. We were together for 5 years, with not as much as an arguement between us. That is after a 13 year nightmare with my 1st wife. I thought and swore I would never marry again after the fiasco with the 1st wife. When I met my 2nd wife while working for Microsoft in Canada, we knew it was right between us. We had 5 of the best years any 2 people could ever ask for.

One night late, her son called for a ride home. Being the good wife & mother that she was, she told me to stay in bed and get some sleep, since I had some serious driving to do in the morning, and she would go get him. She left at 11:30pm.

I woke up at 2:30am and wondered where she could be, since it was a fairly short ride to where she had to go & get her son. A very sick feeling came over me, and then a moment of panic as I feared the worst. Within a minute of that, my home phone rang. When I looked at the caller ID & saw that the number was of the local Police Department, I dropped to my knees. My wife & I never drink, so being arrested wasn't an option I was concerned with...& I was suddenly scared to answer the phone. When I did I asked if my wife was alright, not even caring to know who was on the other end of the phone. The silence was so long, that before the man answered me, I knew what he was going to say. My wife had been killed in an automobile accident by a "suspected" drunk driver, and my step son was in the hospital. He lost both his legs below the knee.

The guy that killed her had 2 previous DUI's, both with accidents involved...and 1 of them involving major injury. He crippled a 16 year old boy on a bicycle 3 years previous. When I went to his trial, and he pleaded guilty to a plea bargain, he tried to apologize for what he did. He told the judge "I'm sorry I killed that lady your honor". That P.O.S. didn't even bother to learn the name of the woman he killed. When the judge gave him 90 days....yes 90 FREAKIN' DAYS in jail for his crime, I shouted out that I thought that was BS. I spent 3 days in jail myself for climbing over the railing, pushing the Bailiff out of the way, and POUNDING the SH!T out of the guy for about 20 seconds before the other Bailiffs could get me off of him. I told the judge I wanted to go to jail when he cited me for contempt, and told me to make me that guy's cell mate.

My friends & relatives all gave me support, and helped me as much as they could with dealing with it. I was a mess. I am closer than ever with my kids, my relatives, and my friends now days. I didn't even talk to another woman for almost 4 months. I finally opened up to this really cool lady I met, and she has helped me out A WHOLE BUNCH, when it comes to dealing with this. Thanks Guppy!

One thing my wife & I always made sure of, was that the last thing we did when parting was to proclaim our love for each other.....just in case it was the last time we ever saw each other. I never thought that might actually be the case, but it was.

Friends, never be afraid to tell some that you love them, if you do. You honestly never can tell if that is the last time you'll see them, and you'll never have the chance to tell them again. It eases my mind just a little, knowing that I had that chance.

I miss her every day

Mi Amore` Mi Stella Luminosa

buddy your post has just moved me too tears , i have lost so much in my life sue is all i feel i have at times ,i dont even like to think of what would happen to me if she was to go , i have nothing to say to make you feel better ,life for some of us is so painfull so unfair ,have a jimbo hug buddy :-6 :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:03 am

Dear Craig,

I just woke up and read this. When I got to the part about the &!%$*! drunk driver, I started to split some seams. That is one of the biggest hatreds I have. I am so very sorry this happened to you. Your point is well taken. Before my mom left, we would always hug and say I love you because you just never know. Same with my dad. I continue to to do this and always will.

I'm like Jimbo, I know there's nothing I can say to you, but I want to say thank you for telling us about your wife. Guppy is a good person and I'm glad you've found some confort with her. As well, you'll always find a willing ear -or a bunch of them- in this thread.

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:36 pm

Thanks Jimbo & Glitter, The hugs are most appreciated, believe me. I have a good friend in Guppy, as she is something special IMO.

Looks like I am gonna have some good friends here as well. Thanks again friends.

CJ

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 2:25 am

Craig James;561832 wrote: Thanks Jimbo & Glitter, The hugs are most appreciated, believe me. I have a good friend in Guppy, as she is something special IMO.

Looks like I am gonna have some good friends here as well. Thanks again friends.

CJ
hey buddy post on here every hour of every day ,this section is for us,the hurting people the living dead,who's loved ones are gone and have trouble even breathing at times,you post here all you want ,it does you good to talk about it with people that really know how you feel,and it does me and others good to help, others and while we do that it helps us too ,post away my friend i for am looking forward to hear from you:-6 :-6

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:27 am

jimbo;561861 wrote: hey buddy post on here every hour of every day ,this section is for us,the hurting people the living dead,who's loved ones are gone and have trouble even breathing at times,you post here all you want ,it does you good to talk about it with people that really know how you feel,and it does me and others good to help, others and while we do that it helps us too ,post away my friend i for am looking forward to hear from you:-6 :-6

Talking about it DOES help. I didn't talk to anyone other than my mom & my 2 kids about it for 4 months after the accident. I finally did a thread on another forum about what happened, and that's when I started talking to Guppy. She's very easy to talk to. The more we talked, the more I opened up. It felt good to get it off my chest. I have a much easier time talking about it these days.

I spent 8 days at the World Trade Center after 9/11 tragedy doing recovery. I volunteered because they were looking for people with body recovery experience, ESPECIALLY ex military. I felt I had to do it because I not only had the experience from my days as an Air Medic in the Nam, but I also had a Cadaver Dog named Tasha, and we worked with the Sacramento County Search & Rescue.

My then newlywed wife called me after every 8 hour shift to make sure both Tasha & I were OK. She was a rock! I hated the experience from the first day. By the 3rd day I wanted to leave after every shift. As soon as I would talk to her, I felt a lot better about what I was doing there. She reminded me that what I was doing was a necessity, and told me how much she was proud of me. And she was a CANADIAN. I ended up staying the whole 8 days, because she was behind me & supporting me the whole time. I couldn't have done it without her.

8 hours on the pile and I would get a phone call at the end of the shift. 8 hours off...and I'd get a phone call right before I went back to the pile. She called me from her work, from home, and would even wake up in the middle of the night to make sure I got my phone call on time. The second I got off the plane when we came back from NYC, she was standing there with my kids, holding a banner that said "Welcome Home Hero".

As I walked down the stairs from the military plane we flew home on, I saw the press. They asked all of us a bunch of stupid questions as we walked through the airport. One of the guys from a local TV station asked me if I thought of myself as a hero. I told him "No, not really....I consider HER a hero" as I introduced him to my wife & told him what she did. He got the words "Yeah, but..." out of his mouth, and I brushed him off. I had nothing else to say to him. A newspaper guy heard what I told him and started asking me some questions about my wife, and what she did to help. I gave him an exclusive story because he agreed with me. I still have the story he wrote in a frame above my bed. I'm still friends with the guy too, and he attended my wife's funeral. His paper even sent a very large floral arrangement for her casket.

You meet some good people when you least expect it in life. That was one time I did. I think it might also happen around here as well. I'm kinda falling for this place

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:42 am

Craig, you've moved me to tears too (me and Jimbo are just too soppy for words!) I'm so sorry for your loss, life is damn cruel at times.

I've seen the affect bereavement has on people from different sides. I'm a 2nd wife, my husband lost his first wife suddenly, no warning at all and was left with 2 young children. We met nearly a year later, some people said it was too soon but when would be the right time? Anyway, it's 15 years later, my step-daughters have grown into young women, I have a grandson and a daughter of my own. I've seen how losing their mum has altered and spoiled some aspects of their lives - the birth of my grandson was probably one of the most poignant times, his 'real' nanny was much missed but this nanny loves him millions.

I have also worked with my hubby in a funeral directors and met many hundreds of families who have suffered a loss, from stillborn babies to 100 year old grandads. All have been through the mill trying to come to terms with their loss, some never do.

For you to be able to share your story shows amazing courage and strength and I am so glad that you have a wonderful friend like Guppy. I hope that you will find more friends here and can only echo Jimbo by saying that there are those of us here who will listen and care. PM me any time you want to talk, or not if you don't want to, it's fine. I'll be thinking of you.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:45 am

Immy, you are a really great person :-4 :-4

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:49 am

SuzyB;562097 wrote: Immy, you are a really great person :-4 :-4

Shhh! Don't tell people that! I'm still trying to cultivate an image of a hardnut. Sheesh!:D

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:39 pm

Craig, bless you...your post moved me to tears. I, too am so sorry for your loss. When I read about the Court-room, I can imagine so many men that I know that are passionate for their loved-ones would do the same...And I didn't blame you a bit.

It is hard for me to express myself with words, not the fancy-ist writer in the Garden. I do hope that you continue to post here at the Garden and enjoy the beautiful flowers...(and animals...including Jimbo's:wah: )

Guppy is an AWESOME person(fish). I am one of her biggest fans....not fins, but fans!:-4

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:27 pm

Imladris;562102 wrote: Shhh! Don't tell people that! I'm still trying to cultivate an image of a hardnut. Sheesh!:D

Too late Immy! The truth is out. And thank you, for the very kind words as well Immy.

And thank you too Wendy. I know Guppy thinks the world of you too. She told me she even sent you my picture. Hopefully it didn't break your monitor screen.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:17 pm

Craig James;562813 wrote: Too late Immy! The truth is out. And thank you, for the very kind words as well Immy.

And thank you too Wendy. I know Guppy thinks the world of you too. She told me she even sent you my picture. Hopefully it didn't break your monitor screen.

No, silly wabbit...my computer screen is fine!! I couldn't see your face

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:52 pm

WonderWendy3;562829 wrote: No, silly wabbit...my computer screen is fine!! I couldn't see your face

OMG!

Did she send you THOSE pictures?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:01 pm

Craig James;564129 wrote: OMG!

Did she send you THOSE pictures?

:wah: :wah:

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:03 pm

:sneaky: :sneaky: those pics?:sneaky: :sneaky:

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:22 am

guppy;564136 wrote: :sneaky: those pics? :sneaky:

YOU know which pics I meant there swetie!

:-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:42 am

Guppy, you're a fast swimmer there, eh? Naughty photos already?! Cover up those fins woman! :wah:

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:44 am

RedGlitter;564226 wrote: Guppy, you're a fast swimmer there, eh? Naughty photos already?! Cover up those fins woman! :wah:

actually they are of craig.....:sneaky: :yh_bigsmi

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:05 am

RedGlitter;564226 wrote: Guppy, you're a fast swimmer there, eh? Naughty photos already?! Cover up those fins woman!

very funny red :wah:

guppy;564229 wrote: actually they are of craig.....:sneaky: :yh_bigsmi

keep your fins to yourself gupps :sneaky:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:33 am

:wah:

I never get tired of the fish jokes! Uh...Gup? :-3

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:35 am

jimbo;564235 wrote: very funny red :wah:

keep your fins to yourself gupps :sneaky:

now...what would be the fun in that?:p

Craig James · Post by **Craig James** » Thu Mar 01, 2007 2:04 am

guppy;564266 wrote: now...what would be the fun in that?:p

Hey, I think she has a great set....................................of fins. :sneaky:

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:24 am

I've read everyones story - Craig - Jimbo - Red

I'm just having a tough day - I've tried all day -I just take a deep breathe but today for some reason has been too much..

Sorry

We will all get thru this

Patsy

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:34 am

We all have these impossible days, Patsy. Every one of us. I guess it comes with the territory. Some days, well, especially the nights, I wonder how I am ever *possibly* going to get through my life without my mom, my best buddy, and things seem insurmountable. But I keep on because she had to endure the same thing. The next day is often better. If she could carry on, then so can I because I'm part of her. You have the strength in you, it's probably that it just needed a rest. It gets tired of being so strong. Im sorry you're having pain, Patsy. When you have these days you have to be extra good to yourself, be kind to yourself, don't get down on yourself for grieving. I think we need to allow ourselves some grief time regardless of how long it may have been since we lost someone. This thread is special because we're all in the same boat and can understand each other.

We care. :-4

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:53 am

Red - thanks - your too nice, and I'm getting tired of being strong.

Todays not anyday in particular - no anniversary of anyone - just too much.

Just reflecting - of all I've out lived - I grieve for my nephew, I never thought I'd out live my nephew. He was my son in all aspects. His brother is in a band and I brought up" Atomic Outlaws" his band and theres a tribute to my deceased nephew. His brother Rob - the rocker in the band posted "I miss you so" & Merry Christmas. Rob & I are very close - he is my son, and he hurts so much - and thats the pain that hurts so much. Its very difficult.

I thank you

Patsy

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:00 am

dear patsy , i too feel tired today ,tired of being strong ,tired of being there for every one else , tired of being tired even , i have had night mares all night and woke up well before dawn , i just have this feeling something bad is going to happen , i'm going fast and have to hit the groung running and no matter how fast my legs are going its not fast eough i will fall ,but one thing i do know if i fall i will be getting the hell up and will carry on fighting this chest crushing strength sapping enemy called grief till my dying day , my loved ones would not wanted me to do anything less, as red said in yet another great moving post ,this is for us the people who are treading water ,just trying to get through another day ,we support each other coz we are each other , i am every greaving son ,every greiving brother and most of all i am every greiving parent that has lost chance to tell their much loved child how much they are missing them and love them , i am your pain , i feel your pain as i know you can feel mine

when i am down i play this over and over

it was my brothers fave song for a while

i take comefort in the words , something about the morning son , and the vidio somehow reminds me of me in a fight with this enemy called grief

let me know what you take out of it please jimbo:-6

click on photo

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:33 am

I will also fight that chest crushing suffocating gloom called grief, I have fought for years.

I actually like the song - didn't down load the whole thing video interruputions - I noticed the guy tied/bound up etc.

I played "Free Bird" at my husbands funeral - 1988 he was 30 yrs old - died of a heart attack at work.

My nephew - 27 beautiful, handsome, loved to giggle & laugh, Beautiful teeth & smile and never afraid - dare devil - and thats what killed him. Free Bird

Thanks Jimbo

I know you understand - just a tough day.

Patsy

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:07 am

jimbo;570490 wrote: ,we support each other coz we are each other

That was completely perfect, Jimbo. You said it. :-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:23 am

RedGlitter;570519 wrote: That was completely perfect, Jimbo. You said it. :-4

thanks red glitter , we are all here together , we are all one united in grief and all here together helping each other to find some happiness , normall people just could not understand how you could wake up every day with an enormouse heavy wieght crushing your chest or how a certain song can reduce you too tears ,but if you live you must die its all part of an endlees circle of life ,every one you know will die ,its just the way of things i guess , we have our grief now and when we come to terms with it we will like a tree that has lost its leaves ,come back to life again we will live and be happy again , we will be wiser ,we will be able to help those that are hurting now ,we will be special we will be good we will be free of all the things that others worry about ,money etc ,we will know what really counts in this world ,being there for each other and finding happiness that at the end of the day matters most of all ...jimbo:-4 :-4

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:49 am

:-1 :-1 :-4:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:01 am

RedGlitter;570543 wrote: :-1 :-1

sorry my friend thats why i tend to kinda stay on the more funny threads , my inner thoughts are not exactly always down but when you have as much tramau and death as i have had in my life ,it seems to have such a chilling simplicty to easy to understand yet so very very hard to deal with , i have tried to give you comfort if i have upset you in any way i am deeply sorry .jimbo:-4:-4

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:13 am

Oh no Jimbo, you didn't upset me!! Those were happy tears because someone understands. I enjoy you when you're being funny, as you know, but when you are being serious, you just seem to say the right thing! All you said is true. You did not upset me in the slightest.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:32 am

RedGlitter;570568 wrote: Oh no Jimbo, you didn't upset me!! Those were happy tears because someone understands. I enjoy you when you're being funny, as you know, but when you are being serious, you just seem to say the right thing! All you said is true. You did not upset me in the slightest.

:-6 :-6 :-4

Ritz · Post by **Ritz** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 7:53 pm

Hiiii All.

What great topic this is a very good idea,I would love to have it on my forum but I will not unless you say its ok? I love to help others,

I don`t know were to start with this one as I am still in mourning...

I lost My Dad and my Mother and my husband and my darling star.. 8 years all in the same year, Now I have just lost my Uncle and my darling Missie and my partners dad in-law all just last week,I am hurting so so much,and my I tell you that it is My Missie that I miss the most and don`t know if your thinking that is not right, for me it is she gave me mountains of love...

We have a Tabby cat also now she as gone all quiet she knows doent she,she as never been alone ever..so we are looking for a kitten for her to mother,I know my missie would have wanted that for her,she keeps coming up to us and Meows and she looking all over for Missie.... ( God bless Missie I hope she will be waiting for me when its my time)

Ritz.

redman · Post by **redman** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:16 am

Ritz;582006 wrote: Hiiii All.

What great topic this is a very good idea,I would love to have it on my forum but I will not unless you say its ok? I love to help others,

I don`t know were to start with this one as I am still in mourning...

I lost My Dad and my Mother and my husband and my darling star.. 8 years all in the same year, Now I have just lost my Uncle and my darling Missie and my partners dad in-law all just last week,I am hurting so so much,and my I tell you that it is My Missie that I miss the most and don`t know if your thinking that is not right, for me it is she gave me mountains of love...

We have a Tabby cat also now she as gone all quiet she knows doent she,she as never been alone ever..so we are looking for a kitten for her to mother,I know my missie would have wanted that for her,she keeps coming up to us and Meows and she looking all over for Missie.... ( God bless Missie I hope she will be waiting for me when its my time)

Ritz.

How sad,it is not ruddy fair that you have had to go through all this, I could not think of any words to say, but I am sure you will be in our thoughts and prayers

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:59 am

life is so cruel ,my friend , i will be thinking of you :-6 :-6

there really is nothing i can say at all ,i have been where you find yourself now , and its a terrible place its been many years for me ,i'm only just moving out now ,:-6 small steps my friend and a lot of time ,i'm not to good with words but there some very kind people on fg that are, no doubt they will contact you soon, take care jimbo

Delilah · Post by **Delilah** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 10:20 am

In the description..it says.."the death of their loved ones"...

Many posters in here have lost a parent...so I was wondering if I am in the right thread..

Yesterday I found out my Aunt passed away. I'm still in somewhat denial..it hasn't all sank in yet..but I'm still fairly upset. I loved her very much..and she was the only person in my family I had much in common with. We were a lot alike, and I loved that I fit with someone, as it seemed I didn't fit much with the rest of the family, and was that "different" one, very much the opposite from the others.

Anyway..appologies if this thread is solely for parents..

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 10:47 am

Delilah;582136 wrote: In the description..it says.."the death of their loved ones"...

Many posters in here have lost a parent...so I was wondering if I am in the right thread..

Yesterday I found out my Aunt passed away. I'm still in somewhat denial..it hasn't all sank in yet..but I'm still fairly upset. I loved her very much..and she was the only person in my family I had much in common with. We were a lot alike, and I loved that I fit with someone, as it seemed I didn't fit much with the rest of the family, and was that "different" one, very much the opposite from the others.

Anyway..appologies if this thread is solely for parents..

i'm not trying to be spokes person for every one here but if you have lost someone you loved and your feeling grief welcome aboard and i'm very sorry for your loss , take care jimbo:-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:04 pm

Ritz;582006 wrote: Hiiii All.

What great topic this is a very good idea,I would love to have it on my forum but I will not unless you say its ok? I love to help others,

I don`t know were to start with this one as I am still in mourning...

I lost My Dad and my Mother and my husband and my darling star.. 8 years all in the same year, Now I have just lost my Uncle and my darling Missie and my partners dad in-law all just last week,I am hurting so so much,and my I tell you that it is My Missie that I miss the most and don`t know if your thinking that is not right, for me it is she gave me mountains of love...

We have a Tabby cat also now she as gone all quiet she knows doent she,she as never been alone ever..so we are looking for a kitten for her to mother,I know my missie would have wanted that for her,she keeps coming up to us and Meows and she looking all over for Missie.... ( God bless Missie I hope she will be waiting for me when its my time)

Ritz.

Hi Ritz...

That's a heck of a lot of loss to have to endure all at once. I don't know what I can say except welcome to the group. About pets, yes they know when something's not right and they grieve in their own ways too. Maybe a kitten will be just what she needs, a new friend.

I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much.