sir paul
sir paul
i meet Paul Macartney yesterday he seemed really nice i said sorry to here about your marraige break up i said do you think you one ever go down on one knee again
he said look i'd rather you called her Heather
he said look i'd rather you called her Heather
- vampress.rozz
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sir paul
:wah: :wah: is it late or does that deserve the amount of laughter I just gave it??
Blessed be.
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sir paul
Uh
sir paul
OK I just got it.. 

ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
sir paul
:-3 periods and commas are a good thing. I don't get it.
sir paul
Rain;544700 wrote: :-3 periods and commas are a good thing. I don't get it.
me too rain.
me too rain.
- DesignerGal
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sir paul
DesignerGal;544727 wrote: Its a tasteless joke about an amputee.
oh come on lighten up i was pulling her leg for petes sake
oh come on lighten up i was pulling her leg for petes sake

sir paul
how about this one ...
he laid her on the river bank his heart all a quiver
he undid her suspender belt her leg shot in the river
by sir paul too :rolleyes:
he laid her on the river bank his heart all a quiver
he undid her suspender belt her leg shot in the river
by sir paul too :rolleyes:
sir paul
Soberano;545001 wrote: It made me smile Jimbo, i see she went for custody of the smoothing plane and sandpaper in the divorce.
:wah: :wah:
:wah: :wah:
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sir paul
jimbo;544844 wrote: oh come on lighten up i was pulling her leg for petes sake 
real cool.

real cool.
HBIC
sir paul
DesignerGal;544727 wrote: Its a tasteless joke about an amputee.
Hey jimbo I think she accidently made a funny.
Hey jimbo I think she accidently made a funny.

sir paul
DesignerGal;547386 wrote: real cool.
my partner is disabled , one of my friends lost a leg in a motorbike accident so i dont normally tell jokes about this subject , but anything anyone says about the gold digging , horrible cow is fine by me , unfortunately its sir paul who does not appear to have a leg to stand on in the courts to stop , said gold digger from making a fortune , by the way did you know she is a hooker in real life too :rolleyes:
my partner is disabled , one of my friends lost a leg in a motorbike accident so i dont normally tell jokes about this subject , but anything anyone says about the gold digging , horrible cow is fine by me , unfortunately its sir paul who does not appear to have a leg to stand on in the courts to stop , said gold digger from making a fortune , by the way did you know she is a hooker in real life too :rolleyes:
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sir paul
As Sir Paul would put it. (cue Liverpool accent)
Here is a song about the split..
C'mon everybody, sing along.
Sing to tune of "Let it be"
Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me
But I do not care, She's got one Knee.
She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,
but she keeps falling over, with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.
And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,
She will stand on one leg...unlike me.
And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,
her false legs in the garden, it was me.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.
And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,
I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,
I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny
Lying limping harlot with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see
That just serves her right for leaving me.
Thank you, and good night...
Here is a song about the split..
C'mon everybody, sing along.
Sing to tune of "Let it be"
Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me
But I do not care, She's got one Knee.
She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,
but she keeps falling over, with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.
And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,
She will stand on one leg...unlike me.
And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,
her false legs in the garden, it was me.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.
And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,
I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,
I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny
Lying limping harlot with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see
That just serves her right for leaving me.
Thank you, and good night...
sir paul
Just to keep the whole insulting a disabled person thing in perspective - disabled people have a sense of humour too and quite often direct that at themselves.
Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)
He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'
No offence was meant or taken.
Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)
He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'
No offence was meant or taken.
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
sir paul
Ooooh Hugh - you're in trouble now!!!!:wah:
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
sir paul
Imladris;547402 wrote: Just to keep the whole insulting a disabled person thing in perspective - disabled people have a sense of humour too and quite often direct that at themselves.
Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)
He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'
No offence was meant or taken.
Well said Immy
Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)
He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'
No offence was meant or taken.
Well said Immy

I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!
sir paul
SuzyB;547407 wrote: Well said Immy 
Thanks Suzy xx

Thanks Suzy xx
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
sir paul
my mate with one leg is always telling jokes about his one leg, and he wins quite a lot of money by betting people that they can hit him as hard as they like with a pool cue and he wont feel it , he of course sticks out his false leg people hit it hard then realise and people always pay up :wah: :wah:
sir paul
Hugh Janus;547401 wrote: As Sir Paul would put it. (cue Liverpool accent)
Here is a song about the split..
C'mon everybody, sing along.
Sing to tune of "Let it be"
Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me
But I do not care, She's got one Knee.
She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,
but she keeps falling over, with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.
And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,
She will stand on one leg...unlike me.
And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,
her false legs in the garden, it was me.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.
And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,
I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,
I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny
Lying limping harlot with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see
That just serves her right for leaving me.
Thank you, and good night...
thanks huge thats really great , i will so be sending that on :wah: :wah:
Here is a song about the split..
C'mon everybody, sing along.
Sing to tune of "Let it be"
Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me
But I do not care, She's got one Knee.
She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,
but she keeps falling over, with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.
And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,
She will stand on one leg...unlike me.
And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,
her false legs in the garden, it was me.
Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,
Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.
And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,
I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,
I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny
Lying limping harlot with one knee.
Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see
That just serves her right for leaving me.
Thank you, and good night...
thanks huge thats really great , i will so be sending that on :wah: :wah:
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- Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:20 am
sir paul
jimbo;547392 wrote: my partner is disabled , one of my friends lost a leg in a motorbike accident so i dont normally tell jokes about this subject , but anything anyone says about the gold digging , horrible cow is fine by me , unfortunately its sir paul who does not appear to have a leg to stand on in the courts to stop , said gold digger from making a fortune , by the way did you know she is a hooker in real life too :rolleyes:
And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
HBIC
sir paul
DesignerGal;547474 wrote: And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke

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- DesignerGal
- Posts: 2554
- Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:20 am
sir paul
jesse b;547479 wrote: grow up it was only a joke
and people wonder why members are leaving
I am grown. And I still didnt think it was funny.
Clipper;547519 wrote: I know armless and legless Veterans and all they do is tell jokes about being such. Of course the jokes go over better with MATURE folks..........
Im mature. And I still dont think its funny.
jimbo;547521 wrote: whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke
IM not mad, I just didnt think it was funny.
Am I not allowed to say I didnt think it was funny? Im a paying member here, arent I allowed to express an opinion? I am not forcing you to retract it or not make any other tasteless jokes am I? I'm merely stating I didnt think it was funny?
Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?
ETA: Without telling me I am immature, to grow up, or mad, please?
and people wonder why members are leaving
I am grown. And I still didnt think it was funny.
Clipper;547519 wrote: I know armless and legless Veterans and all they do is tell jokes about being such. Of course the jokes go over better with MATURE folks..........


Im mature. And I still dont think its funny.
jimbo;547521 wrote: whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke

IM not mad, I just didnt think it was funny.
Am I not allowed to say I didnt think it was funny? Im a paying member here, arent I allowed to express an opinion? I am not forcing you to retract it or not make any other tasteless jokes am I? I'm merely stating I didnt think it was funny?
Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?
ETA: Without telling me I am immature, to grow up, or mad, please?
HBIC
sir paul
DesignerGal;547474 wrote: And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
i try to tell a harmless joke that no one else seems to take offense too , you try to brand me a racist next , i ignore that too , but still you keep going on taking every one out of context is there some problem i'm not seeing here , do you have a problem with jimbo , or the forum , the joke as jokes go was very harmless , dg i'm trying to have fun , if you dont like it dont read my posts coz thats what i'm all about, have a nice day now:D
And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??
i try to tell a harmless joke that no one else seems to take offense too , you try to brand me a racist next , i ignore that too , but still you keep going on taking every one out of context is there some problem i'm not seeing here , do you have a problem with jimbo , or the forum , the joke as jokes go was very harmless , dg i'm trying to have fun , if you dont like it dont read my posts coz thats what i'm all about, have a nice day now:D

sir paul
It's no laughing matter, jimbo
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
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sir paul
jimbo;547568 wrote: i try to tell a harmless joke that no one else seems to take offense too , you try to brand me a racist next , i ignore that too , but still you keep going on taking every one out of context is there some problem i'm not seeing here , do you have a problem with jimbo , or the forum , the joke as jokes go was very harmless , dg i'm trying to have fun , if you dont like it dont read my posts coz thats what i'm all about, have a nice day now:D 
I just wanted to say I DIDNT THINK IT WAS FUNNY! Period. Full Stop. End of story.

I just wanted to say I DIDNT THINK IT WAS FUNNY! Period. Full Stop. End of story.
HBIC
sir paul
DesignerGal;547573 wrote: I just wanted to say I DIDNT THINK IT WAS FUNNY! Period. Full Stop. End of story.
why not
why not

- DesignerGal
- Posts: 2554
- Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:20 am
sir paul
koan;547572 wrote: It's no laughing matter, jimbo
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
You're a class act, koan.
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
You're a class act, koan.
HBIC
sir paul
[quote=DesignerGal;547558]
Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?
quote]
I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?
I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?
I do understand that humour is a personal thing - I for one don't find things like Monty Python funny but love Blackadder and slapstick like Laurel and Hardy.
Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?
quote]
I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?
I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?
I do understand that humour is a personal thing - I for one don't find things like Monty Python funny but love Blackadder and slapstick like Laurel and Hardy.
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
sir paul
koan;547572 wrote: It's no laughing matter, jimbo
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
:wah: :wah: thats good ,but some people wont stand for you having fun , maybe my joke was a bit limp ,

Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
:wah: :wah: thats good ,but some people wont stand for you having fun , maybe my joke was a bit limp ,


sir paul
jimbo;547580 wrote: :wah: :wah: thats good ,but some people wont stand for you having fun , maybe my joke was a bit limp ,

Many have attributed their problems to having started with the present that Paul had got her prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-stuffer.


Many have attributed their problems to having started with the present that Paul had got her prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-stuffer.
sir paul
koan;547589 wrote: Many have attributed their problems to having started with the present that Paul had got her prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-stuffer.
yeah he really went out on a limb there
yeah he really went out on a limb there

sir paul
jimbo;547593 wrote: yeah he really went out on a limb there 
He wanted so much for her to love him he ended up sticking his foot in his mouth.
eta: imitation is the best form of flattery. I know. It's weak.

He wanted so much for her to love him he ended up sticking his foot in his mouth.
eta: imitation is the best form of flattery. I know. It's weak.
sir paul
I heard she wants half of everything. Do you reckon she allready took half of her shoes?
sir paul
i think thats it dg and i have just got off on the wrong foot .. 

sir paul
Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
sir paul
spot;547621 wrote: Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.
Spot, take the challenge - I can just imagine you trying on all your socks!!!
Spot, take the challenge - I can just imagine you trying on all your socks!!!
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
sir paul
spot;547621 wrote: Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.
good point dg , put a sock in it .. how many do you think guys ???...
only joking d g
good point dg , put a sock in it .. how many do you think guys ???...
only joking d g

- DesignerGal
- Posts: 2554
- Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:20 am
sir paul
Imladris;547577 wrote:
I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?
I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?
No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?
I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?
No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
HBIC
sir paul
DesignerGal;547627 wrote: No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
how about fat bald jokes , are they funny , if so i dont mind if you tell a few at my expense
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
how about fat bald jokes , are they funny , if so i dont mind if you tell a few at my expense

sir paul
Didn't Heather describe herself as an amateur detective back in the late eighties? I heard Sir Paul rang Whipsnade asking if they could lend him a five-toed sleuth for an album cover shoot and they said she was the only one in the country. That accent gets him in trouble every time he speaks.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
sir paul
DesignerGal;547627 wrote: No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
I think folks over here feel that way as she played stupid PR stunts to try to make Sir Paul look bad and it's all backfired on her. People may feel sorry for her, but personally I see no difference between her and Anna Nicole Smith.
I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.
Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.
Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.
I think folks over here feel that way as she played stupid PR stunts to try to make Sir Paul look bad and it's all backfired on her. People may feel sorry for her, but personally I see no difference between her and Anna Nicole Smith.
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!