Announcement of Relationship Termination

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:47 pm

Hammy has asked me to make this post to clarify the situation here. For some time, since before Christmas, we have had issues. Further, for my part, I have been unnecessarily verbally abusive towards her.

Last Sunday morning, Hammy told me that she wanted me to leave. While this may have brought me to my senses, the damage has been done and we are no longer a unit.

For my part in all this, I am both ashamed and mortified. I cannot justify my behaviour. Hammy, for her part, has behaved civilly during all this.

As I have no resources, I am unable to secure other accommodation at the moment. We have agreed upon a working arrangement until this is possible. I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:49 pm

Sounds like you are both being thoughtful and mature about it.

I wish it had worked out differently. I'm sure you will both make the best of it.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:50 pm

WOW!!!

You are one of the few who actually take responsibility for your actions.............maybe a bit too late. I feel confident you can learn a lesson from this and carry it through the rest of your life.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:51 pm

OpenMind;542669 wrote: Hammy has asked me to make this post to clarify the situation here. For some time, since before Christmas, we have had issues. Further, for my part, I have been unnecessarily verbally abusive towards her.

Last Sunday morning, Hammy told me that she wanted me to leave. While this may have brought me to my senses, the damage has been done and we are no longer a unit.

For my part in all this, I am both ashamed and mortified. I cannot justify my behaviour. Hammy, for her part, has behaved civilly during all this.

As I have no resources, I am unable to secure other accommodation at the moment. We have agreed upon a working arrangement until this is possible. I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.

I am very sorry to hear that for all of you, :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:51 pm

I am sorry to hear things did not work out as you 2 had hoped.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:52 pm

OpenMind;542669 wrote: Hammy has asked me to make this post to clarify the situation here. For some time, since before Christmas, we have had issues. Further, for my part, I have been unnecessarily verbally abusive towards her.

Last Sunday morning, Hammy told me that she wanted me to leave. While this may have brought me to my senses, the damage has been done and we are no longer a unit.

For my part in all this, I am both ashamed and mortified. I cannot justify my behaviour. Hammy, for her part, has behaved civilly during all this.

As I have no resources, I am unable to secure other accommodation at the moment. We have agreed upon a working arrangement until this is possible. I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.

This is really sad news for both of you.

I hope the pair of you can sort you futures out, be it together or apart.

Wishing the three of you the best that you can make it.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:06 pm

it is sad indeed to hear this bad news, suzy and i have broken up many times and we have both sworn to every one that we would never even speak to each other ever again let alone live together and maybe get married (if she plays her cards right that is)never ever say never it aint over till its over you two, things may seem impossible now but the sight of a man craddeling his new born baby in his arms can melt even the coldest heart and the wisdom of realising you have wronged a loved one can make a man determined to right the wrongs (i know )so never say never and if it dont work out i know you two guys will do the best job possible bringing little james (hint great name for a boy me thinks)up to be a great human being just like his parents are :-4

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:13 pm

OpenMind;542669 wrote: I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.

That is the main point IMO. You *both* have to realise that you have a long,

long time in which you ought to do your respective duties, and you will have

to carry them out fairly, both in the face of your own difficulties, and also when

either or both of you have formed new relationships. This will be a real

challenge, I think. One, or both, will have to compromise far more than desired,

or is desirable. You will have to plan for, and think of, the long term, as well as

what is going to happen really quite soon. All the very best of British to you,

and most of all to your progeny. I think you will all need it.

The above is not intended as a slight on either party, BTW.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:14 pm

Bill Sikes;542710 wrote: That is the main point IMO. You *both* have to realise that you have a long,

long time in which you ought to do your respective duties, and you will have

to carry them out fairly, both in the face of your own difficulties, and also when

either or both of you have formed new relationships. This will be a real

challenge, I think. One, or both, will have to compromise far more than desired,

or is desirable. You will have to plan for, and think of, the long term, as well as

what is going to happen really quite soon. All the very best of British to you,

and most of all to your progeny. I think you will all need it.

The above is not intended as a slight on either party, BTW.

That is a really good post Bill

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:15 pm

jimbo;542698 wrote: it is sad indeed to hear this bad news, suzy and i have broken up many times and we have both sworn to every one that we would never even speak to each other ever again let alone live together and maybe get married (if she plays her cards right that is)never ever say never it aint over till its over you two, things may seem impossible now but the sight of a man craddeling his new born baby in his arms can melt even the coldest heart and the wisdom of realising you have wronged a loved one can make a man determined to right the wrongs (i know )so never say never and if it dont work out i know you two guys will do the best job possible bringing little james (hint great name for a boy me thinks)up to be a great human being just like his parents are :-4

Hey! That's nice, nicer than my clinical effort. You never know, I suppose. Hm.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:20 pm

Bill Sikes;542710 wrote: That is the main point IMO. You *both* have to realise that you have a long,

long time in which you ought to do your respective duties, and you will have

to carry them out fairly, both in the face of your own difficulties, and also when

either or both of you have formed new relationships. This will be a real

challenge, I think. One, or both, will have to compromise far more than desired,

or is desirable. You will have to plan for, and think of, the long term, as well as

what is going to happen really quite soon. All the very best of British to you,

and most of all to your progeny. I think you will all need it.

The above is not intended as a slight on either party, BTW.

well if i'd had half a brain , i would of posted something like this, well said bill

:o

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:21 pm

So....not all fairytales have a happy ending. I am saddened to hear this as you have both extended friendship to me. Some things are meant to be and with the best will in the world some just aren't. Hope you both find happiness in the future and a shared love for the child to come.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs These hugs are for Hammy.

You Roger, will have to make do with a Manly mans handshake (medium-strength grip) .Smilie patent pending

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:21 pm

it takes some serious stones to say something like that. especially in here.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:25 pm

Wolverine;542724 wrote: it takes some serious stones to say something like that. especially in here.

^no kidding

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:26 pm

I'm sorry to hear this!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:30 pm

OpenMind;542669 wrote: Hammy has asked me to make this post to clarify the situation here. For some time, since before Christmas, we have had issues. Further, for my part, I have been unnecessarily verbally abusive towards her.

Last Sunday morning, Hammy told me that she wanted me to leave. While this may have brought me to my senses, the damage has been done and we are no longer a unit.

For my part in all this, I am both ashamed and mortified. I cannot justify my behaviour. Hammy, for her part, has behaved civilly during all this.

As I have no resources, I am unable to secure other accommodation at the moment. We have agreed upon a working arrangement until this is possible. I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.
Kudos OM. x

Hambone.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:37 pm

I am sorry to hear that your relationship has been difficult, and that you are splitting, but if its for the best, then thats the right decision to take. The most important person is I guess the new little person coming into the world, so as long as he/she is provided for then you two can get on as adults and friends I am sure. That did take guts to say OM, so fair play to you, hammy, take care of yourself, and best wishes to both of you for the future.

Gally. :-6

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 6:04 pm

Uncle Kram;542723 wrote: So....not all fairytales have a happy ending. I am saddened to hear this as you have both extended friendship to me. Some things are meant to be and with the best will in the world some just aren't. Hope you both find happiness in the future and a shared love for the child to come.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs These hugs are for Hammy.

You Roger, will have to make do with a Manly mans handshake (medium-strength grip) .Smilie patent pending

Beautifully said and it goes for me too. I hope everything works out amicably for the sake of the baby. :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 6:45 pm

I do not know what to say, but I know you will both love and cherish the baby. I know you will both be excellent parents, and Hammy, you must take care of yourself.

OM, you are a real man for saying the things you did, and taking care of your responsibilities.

I just love you both.............

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 9:00 pm

i am deeply saddened to hear everything is not going well for you both...i will still hope for the miracle of you being able to work things out....you both have a child that is going to need a mom and a dad....the best thing a father can ever give his child is to love its mother.......think about it......

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:43 pm

the best thing a father can ever give his child is to love its mother.......think about it......
Amen and vice versa.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:16 am

Good luck to you both.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:46 am

Thank you all for your kind words, advice, and support. We are both still experiencing the pain of this which, for me, means I cannot express myself as well as I would like. But we will do what is right for the baby. For Hammy, who is already the mother of three wonderful children, this will be easier than for me for whom this is the first. I will, initially at any rate, need to take councel from Hammy.

Love to everyone.:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:53 am

fair play to you mate for taking things on the chin like a man , no one knows what goes on behind closed doors do they if you guys think its best to split then so be it, best of luck to both of you :-4

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:25 am

I should add that I do not expect or feel I deserve any kindnesses or support from anyone.

Hammy could use as much love and support that you can all give her.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:33 am

OpenMind;542960 wrote: I should add that I do not expect or feel I deserve any kindnesses or support from anyone.

Hammy could use as much love and support that you can all give her.

OM, no-one knows what goes on in relationships, you've been bad but it is not down to us to punish you, I think you must be feeling pretty lousy and could do with support at this time.

Whatever has happened between you two is exactly that, between you two, we are in no position to judge anyone.

I love Hammy and I have made it clear that Jim and I are here day and night for her, but we like you too, and are here if you need us

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:40 am

OpenMind;542960 wrote: I should add that I do not expect or feel I deserve any kindnesses or support from anyone.

Hammy could use as much love and support that you can all give her.

No one can change what has happened Roger....if it's your fault, you have to live with it and make amends to Helen as best you can.

Moving out is always hard, but is normally the best course of action to put space between you both at an emotional time....... you may not feel that you deserve support, but I'm sure that you'll get it if you do the right thing.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:46 am

SuzyB;542961 wrote: OM, no-one knows what goes on in relationships, you've been bad but it is not down to us to punish you, I think you must be feeling pretty lousy and could do with support at this time.

Whatever has happened between you two is exactly that, between you two, we are in no position to judge anyone.

I love Hammy and I have made it clear that Jim and I are here day and night for her, but we like you too, and are here if you need us

no i'm not men ,dont do that sorta thing with other men , well its just not er er manly is it , its ok for them french kiss other blokes on the cheek type of continental geezers but we are british, men dont talk about other mens relationships its not the done manly thing is it , but of course if OM wants to talk about manly football or work or other manly stuff , of course i'm here ... here being manly of course waiting to talk about manly stuff that is manly

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 4:09 am

Sorry to hear about this. Maybe, in the future you will get back together. It will take alot of work on both your parts, but it might be worth it.

gadget · Post by **gadget** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 4:50 am

OpenMind;542669 wrote: Hammy has asked me to make this post to clarify the situation here. For some time, since before Christmas, we have had issues. Further, for my part, I have been unnecessarily verbally abusive towards her.

Last Sunday morning, Hammy told me that she wanted me to leave. While this may have brought me to my senses, the damage has been done and we are no longer a unit.

For my part in all this, I am both ashamed and mortified. I cannot justify my behaviour. Hammy, for her part, has behaved civilly during all this.

As I have no resources, I am unable to secure other accommodation at the moment. We have agreed upon a working arrangement until this is possible. I will not be reneging on my duty as a father to our child.

I don't really know what to say, except I'm so sorry that you guy's haven't been able to work it out. You must both do what you feel is right by yourselves, your unborn child and Hammy's other three children. If either of you need to chat, you know where I am

.

Good luck and best wishes to you all. -X-

RhondaLu · Post by **RhondaLu** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 4:59 am

How long have you known each other? :-3

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:05 am

Best wishes to you both. hammy..take care of your self now, and the baby. OM..I do not know you as well, but wish you luck in whatever direction you choose to go.

OM, you will get nothing but support from many people here, and if it is not too uncomfortable, hope you will both continue to visit the garden.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:11 am

Marie5656;543010 wrote: Best wishes to you both. hammy..take cafre of your self now, and the baby. OM..I do not know you as well, but wish you luck in whatever direction you choose to go.

OM, you will get nothing but support from many people here, and if it is not too uncomfortable, hope you will both continue to visit the garden.

good post totaly agree:-6 :-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:54 am

I am so sorry to hear this, funny but I had a feeling all was not well at the meet. I want to offer you both my love and support. Hammy you are such a special friend and if you need me I'm here. Roger - I like you and will happily share cheesey chips with you anytime.

I admire the respectful and classy way that you are handling this.

Love and hugs to you both (and the bump):-4

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:47 am

I'm so sorry to hear that! :-1

I wish both of you the best through this difficult time. :yh_flower :yh_hugs

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:53 am

I wasnt going to post in here because I knew I would end up trying to be funny and I reckon you two are probably not into funny at the moment. So All I will say is:

In my best Doris Day voice:

Que sera sera

Whatever will be will be

The futures not ours to see

Que sera sera

If those words are not correct my apologies Too Doris.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 10:22 am

I am so deeply saddened to hear this news. I don't visit FG as much as I'd like to, so this is the first I've heard of it :-1

Roger, kudos to you for stepping up to the plate here. If you've looked in the mirror and decided to fix the things that you don't like seeing, *that* is a good thing. I wish you the very best in making the changes within yourself.

Helen, you have always had a very special place in my heart. Just because :-4 . I offer you all the love and friendship that I can give to you. I admire and respect you and just *know* you'll make it through this with honor and class.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 10:30 am

Oh WOW!!! I am soooooo sorry it didnt work out!! You both must know that Voodoo and I are your friends no matter what. We are there for you both no matter if you are together or not.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:57 pm

YZGI;543217 wrote: I wasnt going to post in here because I knew I would end up trying to be funny and I reckon you two are probably not into funny at the moment. So All I will say is:

In my best Doris Day voice:

Que sera sera

Whatever will be will be

The futures not ours to see

Que sera sera

If those words are not correct my apologies Too Doris.
Uncanny....with my eyes closed, you WERE Doris Day YZGI

Red · Post by **Red** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:03 pm

Its never easy when a relationship ends no matter what the circumstances... hope you both manage to stay strong through this.

:-4

xx

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:06 pm

Uncle Kram;547780 wrote: Uncanny....with my eyes closed, you WERE Doris Day YZGI

:wah: Everybody has their talents, Can I help it if mine is singing like Doris Day?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 3:37 pm

Very sorry to hear this news. OM what will you do now, where will you go? Am i right in thinking you gave up your job & home & moved quite a distance?

Its early days & feelings must be raw still but i hope i see you both around the boards, you will both need your friends around you.