jimbo;541683 wrote: i'm a full on friend straight away , i dont hold back so if someone turns out to be an ahole , so what, i just dont bother with them any more so working on my theory that there are much more nice people than bad , the law of averages say that i will end up with loads of good mates and at worst i know who the aholes are and can avoid them , :-6 i dont have time for all this gossiping thingy and being secretive , i have no tact its just say it as i see it if people dont talk to me anymore thats up to them
you cant please every one all the time , some ones lovable joker is someone else's mindless moron getting on their nerves :wah:
hey big mouth....where is my pic of Jess? i think since you told on me you would at least post me the pic....sheeeeeeeesh.......:p
guppy;541691 wrote: hey big mouth....where is my pic of Jess? i think since you told on me you would at least post me the pic....sheeeeeeeesh.......:p
hey there are copyright issues to think of , and confidentiality of ones cuz .. actually i dont believe there are pics of you on here :-3 so put up or shut up doll face :wah:
jimbo;541692 wrote: hey there are copyright issues to think of , and confidentiality of ones cuz .. actually i dont believe there are pics of you on here :-3 so put up or shut up doll face :wah:
did i tell you i am making porkchops, mac and cheese and lima beans and biscuits for supper?
jimbo;541736 wrote: yup but how about if he is in the southern hemisphere that would you would be kissing his head wendy bird where you from again :wah:
ooooooh, what i could say to this.......like.....nevermind.....
In real life I am blessed with some people I can say are true friends, and I know the difference between a real friend, and a person who is your friend because they think they are getting something out of it, or whatever, I learned that the hard way, believe me. I like many people don't really think people are intrinisically good, but I don't think they are intrinsically bad either, and neither am I. People are capable of being a lot of different things depending on the circumstances, which is what keeps life interesting, because you can never be completely sure. Thats the risk, and the wonder of life.
Peoples' friendships and relationships with you are, to a large extent dependent on your own behaviour and attitudes, so if you act like a shallow idiot, or a selfish berk, then its very hard for people to trust you or be true friends and visa versa. Sometimes we are friends with people because we feel we need em, sometimes because they reflect something we admire, some are just people you grew up with and are friends because you have shared the same life experiences together, in my experience friends can be the most appauling b*stards to each other, and also the most wonderful and caring people, and you can never really be 100 percent sure or trust 100 percent anyone, its just life, its not a bad thing, we are all indivdual people with our own desires and needs. You can also be the person who is causing the problems yourself sometimes, and you deserve to get a stomping, and sometimes you need your friends to give you a kick up the arse. You just have to hope that you have chosen your friends wisely in the past, and will do so in the future, and you have to contribute something to the relationship either emotionally or practically, or people soon grow tired of you, and for good reason.
But yes, in general true friends, and genuine, honest friendship is a very precious thing in life, and as you get older this becomes more and more true. If you have just a few people like this in your life, you are very lucky, I have, so I consider myself quite a lucky man. :-6
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
Lulu2;542093 wrote: I suspect you have many friends, 'BallyBob! You're a fine person with a good heart!
Ah, your just buttering me up, me southern charmer! :wah: Nah, its true I do have some good friends, but really close and true friends, well I have a few, but not an endless supply, but enough to feel lucky about. Hey, I am reading that science book, "the view from the center of the universe" its very interesting, you should check it out lulu, its very interesting!
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
I have no friends. But most of the time it doesn't worry me. I am lucky in other areas of life so its a case of you win some, you lose some.
I am probably cynical, but i think that true friends are extremely hard to find. Human behaviour being what it is, most people are motivated by self interest. They are friends with you as long as there is something in it for them eg companionship, someone to talk to, someone to advise them, someone to go out with, someone to lend them money etc etc.
Its a sad reflection on the human race that the qualities I associate with true friendship, loyalty, forgiveness, unconditional caring etc are associated with animals. Humans make great lovers but lousy friends IMO.
loser;542152 wrote: I have no friends. But most of the time it doesn't worry me. I am lucky in other areas of life so its a case of you win some, you lose some.
I am probably cynical, but i think that true friends are extremely hard to find. Human behaviour being what it is, most people are motivated by self interest. They are friends with you as long as there is something in it for them eg companionship, someone to talk to, someone to advise them, someone to go out with, someone to lend them money etc etc.
Its a sad reflection on the human race that the qualities I associate with true friendship, loyalty, forgiveness, unconditional caring etc are associated with animals. Humans make great lovers but lousy friends IMO.
Oh dear....I think this describes me exactly. I am a friendly person but I don't have a special friend. I guess I must be a bit of a loner but I like the independance of doing what i want when I want.
At work i am the person that people come to for support and advice and at my 60th birthday presentation almost the entire workforce stopped for 15 minutes to wish me well which is unusual....
Happily I have family that seems to fill this void and when they're not around, I have 'cyber friends' to talk to.
I've been hurt too many times I think....I lack 'trust' in people now because I always seem to get 'used'. (Obvioulsy haven't 'chosen well'). Having said all that I still have an 'open door' when it comes to friends.....one day I'm sure someone will walk into my life and be that special person.
A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is home
It probably depends on what everyone define as friends. Maybe I have a more stricter definition than most people.
I just think that it is a symptom of western society. We are turning into a lonely insular society governed by external and society expectations. It is as though dollar, prestige and external appearances have taken over old fashioned caring values. It is sad.
I am similar to what you describe. I am an extremely kind, caring and generous person and would do anything to help other people but do not have a friend in the world. The tragedy of modern society is that there are millions like me around the world and growing. We are all more financial than our forefathers but less happy. A real societal problem.
Ahh what a depressing topic haha. But the good news is that there are many many good people in the world.
Interestingly, non western cultures are poorer than we are but have greater family strcutures and ties. Probably another topic for another day.
loser;542202 wrote: It probably depends on what everyone define as friends. Maybe I have a more stricter definition than most people.
I just think that it is a symptom of western society. We are turning into a lonely insular society governed by external and society expectations. It is as though dollar, prestige and external appearances have taken over old fashioned caring values. It is sad.
I am similar to what you describe. I am an extremely kind, caring and generous person and would do anything to help other people but do not have a friend in the world. The tragedy of modern society is that there are millions like me around the world and growing. We are all more financial than our forefathers but less happy. A real societal problem.
Ahh what a depressing topic haha. But the good news is that there are many many good people in the world.
Interestingly, non western cultures are poorer than we are but have greater family strcutures and ties. Probably another topic for another day.
i totally agree with everything you say , a few years ago i was money mad , nice house lotus sports car , i had every thing i mixed with the rich popular group but the world fell outa my bottom so to speak when something terrible happened to me , and it was the good old poor normal workmates that were there for me , the people who had nothing were there the most , i learnt then, money dont buy you happiness ,my former rich friends i see from time to time , they all got into the coke scene and have lost most of their teeth and look a 100 years old , i am lucky i have loads of really good friends and i have been told that i am a really good friend as well ... provided you like crap jokes i spoze :wah:
I have a buttload of acquaintences, people I converse with or even go out with, but I have a smaller, inner circle of very good, very real friends. Those are the ones that I can call at 2 a.m. to offload, and have them either symptahize or tell me I'm being an idiot. THey're not afraid to tell it like it is, and vice versa, because trust and respect, as well as honesty, come first in those friendships. These are the ones that will be in my life forever, the ones I can sit in a room with, not saying a word, and feel completely comfortable because ya know they're there when you need them. We may not agree on everything, but I don't want cloned beliefs anyway.
I think the other important(essential) part of a friendship is that there is give and take from both sides.
Personally I have never ever had a relationship/friendship where I have taken anything. I have always given and received nothing back. Probably i am being a bit cynical here, but in my opinion, of the population in western society maybe 10%(i am being generous) are givers, that give unconditionally. Which extrapilated means that 90% of western society are takers. With this in mind, think of all the fake friendships out there. Friendships and associations built on straw rather than brick. No wonder we are a lonely society.
loser;542829 wrote: I think the other important(essential) part of a friendship is that there is give and take from both sides.
Personally I have never ever had a relationship/friendship where I have taken anything. I have always given and received nothing back. Probably i am being a bit cynical here, but in my opinion, of the population in western society maybe 10%(i am being generous) are givers, that give unconditionally. Which extrapilated means that 90% of western society are takers. With this in mind, think of all the fake friendships out there. Friendships and associations built on straw rather than brick. No wonder we are a lonely society.
thats interesting what you said about takers loser...i have a phychiatrist friend who says their are roughly eight takers for every giver in the us population now.....we are few and far between......you are very very lucky if you can find other people that are givers as you are. then you can find true friendship..based on love instead of what you can do for them....like takers gauge their friends......
guppy;542831 wrote: thats interesting what you said about takers loser...i have a phychiatrist friend who says their are roughly eight takers for every giver in the us population now.....we are few and far between......you are very very lucky if you can find other people that are givers as you are. then you can find true friendship..based on love instead of what you can do for them....like takers gauge their friends......
I still have my best friend from 7th grade. She just called me yesterday while I was out driving around (on my cell phone). :-4
My best friend is someone who has been my friend since I was 10, and I have a few friends like that, though not all ones quite so old, my experience is that there are lots of decent people that you meet in your life, but you have to identify the true ones, nurture them, and give as much as you take, or yes, you will just have a lot of acquaintances who will abandon you as soon as it gets difficult, the more money you have, the more likely this is to happen, as people love money, whoever owns it.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
jimbo;542920 wrote: wow , these phones you youngsters have are really advanced these days, i can only drive around in my car , my phone is just for talking on:rolleyes:
sunny104;541561 wrote: In real life and online I'm the type to hang back and get a feel for people before interacting with them.
I never got to thank you for that.
I'm drawn to people that are different from me, either people that have a quality I lack and admire or that have similar strengths but radically different opinions.
I am always interested in people who are closed to new relationships. Grumpy people pose a special challenge. "How can you not like me?" is the question that always pops into my mind. I make a point to always speak to these people at work, for instance - never too intrusive, always light-hearted - When I hear those magic words "God! Are you always in a good mood?" I know I'm at least on the short list to be allowed into that inner sanctum so few are invited to.
Accountable;543001 wrote: I never got to thank you for that.
I'm drawn to people that are different from me, either people that have a quality I lack and admire or that have similar strengths but radically different opinions.
I am always interested in people who are closed to new relationships. Grumpy people pose a special challenge. "How can you not like me?" is the question that always pops into my mind. I make a point to always speak to these people at work, for instance - never too intrusive, always light-hearted - When I hear those magic words "God! Are you always in a good mood?" I know I'm at least on the short list to be allowed into that inner sanctum so few are invited to.
koan;541641 wrote: Women have developed different power games than men. Men are more upfront about it. Women, as a result of being background citizens for so long, have become much more manipulative and learn the behaviour in youth from other women. You can see it in the schoolyard differences between male and female bullying. I'd rather someone walk up and slug me then undermine my self confidence and use gossip to destroy my reputation. That is how women operate. It is obvious.
I've seen this. I call it the Politics of Woman. It doesn't usually work on men because we never learned that it's supposed to be important. My new job is six women and me. Paperwork we do flows to another office of women. I've lost count of the times I've heard "Oh no! Don't send it to her like that or you'll never hear the end of it," which is always followed with a chorus of eye rolls and "ughs" and the like, then a series of stories to illustrate what a bitch the subject becomes if you don't do it just so. No one seems to realize that we're all in cubicles and the sound travels.
jimbo;543004 wrote: oh no i so do that:wah:
I can see that. Good thing you & I aren't in the same town. We'd be teaming up dragging people out of their bad moods kicking and screaming. PMS wouldn't stand a chance. :wah:
loser;542829 wrote: I think the other important(essential) part of a friendship is that there is give and take from both sides.
Personally I have never ever had a relationship/friendship where I have taken anything. I have always given and received nothing back. Probably i am being a bit cynical here, but in my opinion, of the population in western society maybe 10%(i am being generous) are givers, that give unconditionally. Which extrapilated means that 90% of western society are takers. With this in mind, think of all the fake friendships out there. Friendships and associations built on straw rather than brick. No wonder we are a lonely society.
:sneaky:
wendy bird where you from again :wah: :wah:
