Scottish illegal immigrants!

meltonpie · Post by **meltonpie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:32 am

Just had a thought! If Scotland gets the break-away from the UK that it desires, will all the Scottish people in England be illegal immigrants? Crikey! If we have to ship them all them back home, England will be half-empty!!

Post by **spot** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:42 am

It depends on whether they revoke their presumed inherited membership of the EU as they leave, or whether (if they do) the proposed Treaty of Disunion (or Divorce?) provides for mutual residency rights, extradition, interlocked currency rates, stuff like that.

I claim to be a direct legitimate descendant of Máel Coluim mac Domnaill and I've written to the Secretary of State expressing my willingness to become hereditary Head of State should independence happen, as King Spot the First. Those johnny-come-lately Stuart Pretenders stand no chance so I thought I'd chance my arm at it.

meltonpie · Post by **meltonpie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:13 am

spot;524226 wrote: It depends on whether they revoke their presumed inherited membership of the EU as they leave, or whether (if they do) the proposed Treaty of Disunion (or Divorce?) provides for mutual residency rights, extradition, interlocked currency rates, stuff like that.

I claim to be a direct legitimate descendant of Máel Coluim mac Domnaill and I've written to the Secretary of State expressing my willingness to become hereditary Head of State should independence happen, as King Spot the First. Those johnny-come-lately Stuart Pretenders stand no chance so I thought I'd chance my arm at it.
Blimey!! Have you got any plans to invade England?!

Post by **spot** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:28 am

Have I plans? I'll have you know that my great-grandfather had the Kaiser lend him the Graf von Schlieffen back in 1885 for three months, the pair of them were out scouting the Lammermuir approaches for weeks. They're aye current, those plans, and I've even updated their notes on the load-bearing characteristics of the main trunk routes and where to water the cavalry. They needed modifying after the Graf eventually left for Berlin, mind. He had this obsession for avoiding both the Berwick Fortress and the defensive line between there and Carlisle by way of a diversion through Belgium. We MacDomnaills are above such sneaky tactics.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:00 am

I also would like to make a claim based on my ancient roots as a member of the Ui Bhrian clan who defeated the vikings in the Battle of Clontarf in 1014 and have connections to the McAlpin family who created the dyansty that was integral in the creation of the Kingdom of Scotland. If made High King I promise not to invade England and have nice relations with the southerners, with party's and all that, and also I promise to invest the kingdom's oil revenue in the Scottish national football team so that they can win the world cup through the use of superior Scottish technology. Any other suggestions from my future subjects will be welcome, but no death threats please as the recycling centre have said they are not going to take any more paper from my bins.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:41 am

Diuretic;524256 wrote: Is that the Ui Bhrian's of Clare G? :-3

No, the Ui Bhrians of Tiobraid Arran, Diruetic, though we are all the one big clan, I await my inheritance with glee, and I am keeping an axe handy to deal with counter-claimants in the time honoured way.

Post by **spot** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:50 am

Just as well you didn't say gun there, Galbally, or you'd have had koan after your hide.

I'd best oil my claymore and find where I put the morningstar then, to be safe. We could be into an arms race.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:08 am

You could just lock them up or make them tend to the fields. Theyre easy enough to find, theyre all in the outdoor cafes sipping espresso oggling young ladies wondering what they would look like in a maid's outfit.

Post by **spot** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:18 am

Nomad;524311 wrote: wondering what they would look like in a maid's outfit.WHO told you about THAT???

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:23 am

spot;524325 wrote: WHO told you about THAT???

Its a universal epidemic.

Post by **spot** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:25 am

I only ever put it on once. It amazes me how these stories get about and then I find you tittle-tattling about it in public. Whatever you do, DON'T post any photos!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:27 am

spot;524336 wrote: I only ever put it on once. It amazes me how these stories get about and then I find you tittle-tattling about it in public. Whatever you do, DON'T post any photos!

No.

The photos are tucked away with other equally bizarre memento's.

meltonpie · Post by **meltonpie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:38 pm

Wish I'd never started this. Now I've got to quickly get a gang of brickies together to repair Hadrians Wall. I'll just leave a small gap to let them all get back home, and then quickly seal it up.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:20 pm

spot;524289 wrote: Just as well you didn't say gun there, Galbally, or you'd have had koan after your hide.

I'd best oil my claymore and find where I put the morningstar then, to be safe. We could be into an arms race.

Yes, but lets keep this strictly medieval, no projectile weapons past a long bow (I need lessons) pinky is seconds. I will you the field of honour somewhere between Inverness and Fort Augustus, if negotiations about our counterclaims breakdown.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:22 pm

Diuretic;524293 wrote: Righto then, just a word to the wise though, if the Gardai ask about cattle stealing you know nothing, got it?

Oh and don't mention the axe.......

We never stole no-ones mbo's, they just bolted, into our glens, honest. (axe has been hidden for future reference, lets try diplomacy first).

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:25 pm

meltonpie;524776 wrote: Wish I'd never started this. Now I've got to quickly get a gang of brickies together to repair Hadrians Wall. I'll just leave a small gap to let them all get back home, and then quickly seal it up.

They will be allowed to repair the wall, unmolested, I am for peace between all, except them damn cattle-stealing McKennas, achh, damn yeees!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:26 pm

Nomad;524311 wrote: You could just lock them up or make them tend to the fields. Theyre easy enough to find, theyre all in the outdoor cafes sipping espresso oggling young ladies wondering what they would look like in a maid's outfit.

I am not, repeat not, fighting anyone wearing a milk maids outfit. Axes, ok, claymores, fine, morning stars, I'll live with it, but no cross-dressing.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:52 pm

This thread (which I've just seen) has been lacking an input from Scotland - you lot were fortunate in that.

Anyway, to business:-

meltonpie;524192 wrote: Just had a thought! If Scotland gets the break-away from the UK that it desires, will all the Scottish people in England be illegal immigrants? Crikey! If we have to ship them all them back home, England will be half-empty!!

Don't worry yourself about that, you'll be getting back a helluva lot of white settlers. Unless we invent slavery (only for the lesser breeds such as them). If MP (now there's an unfortunate contraction) wants to rebuild Hadrian's Wall, he'll also be having to dig a very deep ditch (on the English side) so that England can sink on it's own.

Gally, we're not having any more kings or any of that nonsense thank you very much. But don't call us.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:11 pm

Gally, we're not having any more kings or any of that nonsense thank you very much. But don't call us.

Come on, give me a chance, you havn't heard all about my plans for making Fort William the Capital, making the Conga the national dance, or invading Antartica yet, it will be great, and if it doesn't work out, you can have me flogged through the streets of Stirling (by some Scottish girls, with fluffy whips).

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:12 pm

Pinky;524907 wrote: Yay!!! Can I bring my own axe and Claymore? I have both!

Is the longbow ok?

Yes, but I need lessons, also the natives are getting restless, this may not be as simple as I thought.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:17 pm

Galbally;524915 wrote: ....flogged through the streets of Stirling (by some Scottish girls, with fluffy whips).

FLUFFY WHIPS?????

Winp. Now that there is why we're not having any more of that kinging business.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:19 pm

And as for you Pinky, I'll just be introducing you the wine(s) of the country.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:21 pm

Chookie;524926 wrote: FLUFFY WHIPS?????

Winp. Now that there is why we're not having any more of that kinging business.

God you are hard to please. OK, I promise I will not get any lovely Scottish girls to chase me with whips, (fume). I thought it was good to be the king, its still worth it for the scenery though, Western Highlands, definetly my most favorite scenery in Europe, (and I'm Irish, I know good scenery when I see it).

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:22 pm

Pinky;524936 wrote: Well, that's fine, I would expect as much as self-nominated chief-general of King Gally's armies. Maybe I'll get to choose a celebratory bottle!:wah:

Little tip, if a Scot offers you a drink in their own country, take it.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:23 pm

There will be a lot of tasting/testing to be done. I hope you have adequate insurance.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:25 pm

Galbally;524938 wrote: ...I will not get any lovely Scottish girls to chase me with whips, (fume).

Well you can, but there will be no fluffy whips.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:27 pm

Ah, but is that cooking wine or that which is not wasted on foreigners?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:27 pm

Chookie;524946 wrote: Well you can, but there will be no fluffy whips.

Okay, I accept that, at least its a way to meet interesting women. I would also love haggis, nips, and tatties for Royal supper, but I am not having porridge for breakfast.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:28 pm

Pinky;524950 wrote: Fluffy handcuffs then?

Your English, they will let me make up my own rules with you.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:30 pm

Galbally;524958 wrote: Your English, they will let me make up my own rules with you.

Truth.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:31 pm

Pinky;524957 wrote: Well, if you have some Wolf Blass Cabernet I'll be happy!

That is the dregs of the Ozzie whine industry - they only export the shoite.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:35 pm

Laphroiag, Talisker, Highland Park etc etc

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:36 pm

Pinky;524968 wrote: Hey hey!!!:guitarist

Good job I'm cheif commander of your army then, innit?;)

Fluffy whips and handcuffs all round!

They have to be pink though:p

Yes, I like where you are going with this, though the Scots are a pretty hardy bunch so we should probably have a few more "military" elements to this army as well or we will get tossed into the Firth of Forth by laughing Scots double time (its gonna happen anyway, but lets make it look good).

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:37 pm

Chookie;524973 wrote: Laphroiag, Talisker, Highland Park etc etc

Ah yes, the fruit of the highlands.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:39 pm

Pinky;524979 wrote: Well I'll need whips to subdue the deserters, so getting to borrow them is just a bonus, hehe!

Plus we need to talk uniforms...:sneaky:

Tell me general pinky, are you actually interested in going to scotland, or is this going to be a more localized event you are planning?

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:40 pm

I hope you will be bringing some female recruits, the sheeps is getting tired.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:42 pm

Chookie;524984 wrote: I hope you will be bringing some female recruits, the sheeps is getting tired.

Oh that will be my first task, a woman for every crofter, and a boat for every loch.