What my mother taught me.....

[Elvira]

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If your going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break you neck, your not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about"

My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

My mother taught me STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all your sprouts are gone."

My mother taught me about the WEATHER - "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I have told you once, I have told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me about OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait till we get home"

My mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we get home"

My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way"

My mother taught me about ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I don't know when you are cold"

My mother taught me about HUMOUR - "When that lawn mower cuts your toes off, don't come running to me"

My mother taught me about HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"

My mother taught me about GENETICS - "Your just like your father"

My mother taught me about My ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about WISDOM - "When you get to my age you will understand"

And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope the turn out just like you"

[Imladris]

:wah: :wah: and how many times as kids did we promise never to say those things to our own offspring but we do!!

[Elvira]

Imladris;505286 wrote: :wah: :wah: and how many times as kids did we promise never to say those things to our own offspring but we do!!


I do loads of things that my mother did, which I swore I never would.

Like....wearing.........pop socks under trousers! :wah:

[Imladris]

Elvira;505287 wrote: I do loads of things that my mother did, which I swore I never would.



Like....wearing.........pop socks under trousers! :wah:


I do that too - oh the shame!

[YZGI]

My Dad taught me about Medical Practice: If you don't straighten up I am going to put my shoe so far up your arse you are going to have to go to the arse Doctor to get it removed.

[buttercup]

I want DNA testing, i think you might be my sister Elvira coz thats my mum :wah:

[Imladris]

I think we're all related - did Grandad have a bike!

[buttercup]

Yeah he called her my granny