whats wrong...
whats wrong...
ok so this is my first time ever on this site...im a 19yr old female and i can honestly say that i have expierienced things that someone my age shouldnt have...i honestly wanna know is there something wrong with me......i am very insecure and i have a fear of being alone...so that makes me get involved in bad relationships that cause me nothing but heartache...i have very risky sex...and i know what im doing but i just dont seem to care...i have a very hard time talking to people close to me for fear that they might judge me and think of me wrong...so im basically just bottling up all feelings and its making me very depressed...my grandpa passed away 5 months ago and i cant seem to talk to no body about how im feeling...ive tried many times before but i feel like no one understands...everyone just tells me to stop crying...when they dont know that crying actually makes me feel better...i grew up without my father cause he left my mom when i was about 5 yrs old...so i guess u can say thats why im over dependent on these guys that i meet...i never had that father-daughter relationship so i figure i can get it from these guys who just end up using me or cheating on me...i meet another guy and i feel like things will be different this time but it always ends up the same....i have had thoughts of suicide before and i have attempted it once or twice....but never will i actually go thru it...people see me and think that i am a happy go lucky person but deep down inside im soo sad....im crying inside and its really taking a huge toll on me....i dont go out no more like i used to...i just stay home and sleep...i just recently started feeling nasueated at nights and its keeping me up....i dont know what to do no more and i dont know who to talk to anymore......
whats wrong...
(if this is for real)....
You're 19! It's called Hormones!
Not wanting to be alone DOESN'T mean having sex all over the place. Go to a jr. college. There's plenty of ppl there and you'll be learning something, in order to become something other than an HIV positive, or STD infested young lady.
Join a hiking club, or a bowling team, or a stable and go riding with others, etc....
And... "and i cant seem to talk to no body about how im feeling...ive tried many times before but i feel like no one understands...
You have to let ppl listen in order for some one to understand. Go see a counselor.
You're 19! It's called Hormones!
Not wanting to be alone DOESN'T mean having sex all over the place. Go to a jr. college. There's plenty of ppl there and you'll be learning something, in order to become something other than an HIV positive, or STD infested young lady.
Join a hiking club, or a bowling team, or a stable and go riding with others, etc....
And... "and i cant seem to talk to no body about how im feeling...ive tried many times before but i feel like no one understands...
You have to let ppl listen in order for some one to understand. Go see a counselor.
-
Betty Boop
- Posts: 16987
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
whats wrong...
mellie210;506036 wrote: ok so this is my first time ever on this site...im a 19yr old female and i can honestly say that i have expierienced things that someone my age shouldnt have...i honestly wanna know is there something wrong with me......i am very insecure and i have a fear of being alone...so that makes me get involved in bad relationships that cause me nothing but heartache...i have very risky sex...and i know what im doing but i just dont seem to care...i have a very hard time talking to people close to me for fear that they might judge me and think of me wrong...so im basically just bottling up all feelings and its making me very depressed...my grandpa passed away 5 months ago and i cant seem to talk to no body about how im feeling...ive tried many times before but i feel like no one understands...everyone just tells me to stop crying...when they dont know that crying actually makes me feel better...i grew up without my father cause he left my mom when i was about 5 yrs old...so i guess u can say thats why im over dependent on these guys that i meet...i never had that father-daughter relationship so i figure i can get it from these guys who just end up using me or cheating on me...i meet another guy and i feel like things will be different this time but it always ends up the same....i have had thoughts of suicide before and i have attempted it once or twice....but never will i actually go thru it...people see me and think that i am a happy go lucky person but deep down inside im soo sad....im crying inside and its really taking a huge toll on me....i dont go out no more like i used to...i just stay home and sleep...i just recently started feeling nasueated at nights and its keeping me up....i dont know what to do no more and i dont know who to talk to anymore......
Start by talking to us here then. Have you told your Doctor how you're feeling?
Start by talking to us here then. Have you told your Doctor how you're feeling?
whats wrong...
Bless you - you've just put in writing exactly how I felt and exactly what I did at your age. (I'm now 31)
Of course you're feeling depressed - you don't respect yourself or your body, and neither does anyone else. the good news is that this is all in your control
The fact that you are starting to be aware of the fact that this is not normal behaviour, is great, it means that you can now take the next step and start to change your behaviour. Take control of your life again.
Try to put into practice some cognitive thought processes. Learn what is acceptable and what is not. Decide what you will accept form others and what you will not accept from them, and make this clear to the people you meet.
I suffered with all you are going through, and had mental illness to contend with also (OCD and depression) Suddenly I deceided that enough was enough. I was worth more and was going to demand it. I now have a fab job, house, car and boyf and am mostly very happy.
This is all down to the choices you make. Once you are aware of that, you'll start to take it all a bit more seriously, and change the direction of your life. I hope.
Always here to talk
S x
Of course you're feeling depressed - you don't respect yourself or your body, and neither does anyone else. the good news is that this is all in your control
The fact that you are starting to be aware of the fact that this is not normal behaviour, is great, it means that you can now take the next step and start to change your behaviour. Take control of your life again.
Try to put into practice some cognitive thought processes. Learn what is acceptable and what is not. Decide what you will accept form others and what you will not accept from them, and make this clear to the people you meet.
I suffered with all you are going through, and had mental illness to contend with also (OCD and depression) Suddenly I deceided that enough was enough. I was worth more and was going to demand it. I now have a fab job, house, car and boyf and am mostly very happy.
This is all down to the choices you make. Once you are aware of that, you'll start to take it all a bit more seriously, and change the direction of your life. I hope.
Always here to talk
S x
whats wrong...
I can understand where you are coming from and have been in a similar situation myself.
I think you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder as I do myself and you sound very similar to myself before I got help.
The depression, the nausea at night, the suicidal ideation.
What I would recommend is too firstly go to a good doctor and get start on some meds that will help you to get kick started into getting better.
Secondly if you can afford counseling do this it will really help to talk to somebody who is impartial to all this and can give you some good advice. You may have to shop around.
If you can't afford that there are some very helpful online discussion groups and sometimes you can find a group meeting in your area.
By reaching out as you've done now be proud because you have made the first step towards feeling better.
It may feel now as if things won't get better but believe me they do.
Practice some relaxation, you can download stuff for free from the net and transfer it on you an mp3 player and practice every day. What will also help is if you write things down in a journal.
Go to your local clinic and get checked to make sure you haven't picked up any Stds, to them you're just a number and they are usually really nice.
Good luck and keep posting here on the FG, there are some lovely helpful people. :-4
I think you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder as I do myself and you sound very similar to myself before I got help.
The depression, the nausea at night, the suicidal ideation.
What I would recommend is too firstly go to a good doctor and get start on some meds that will help you to get kick started into getting better.
Secondly if you can afford counseling do this it will really help to talk to somebody who is impartial to all this and can give you some good advice. You may have to shop around.
If you can't afford that there are some very helpful online discussion groups and sometimes you can find a group meeting in your area.
By reaching out as you've done now be proud because you have made the first step towards feeling better.
It may feel now as if things won't get better but believe me they do.
Practice some relaxation, you can download stuff for free from the net and transfer it on you an mp3 player and practice every day. What will also help is if you write things down in a journal.
Go to your local clinic and get checked to make sure you haven't picked up any Stds, to them you're just a number and they are usually really nice.
Good luck and keep posting here on the FG, there are some lovely helpful people. :-4
whats wrong...
First of all hi 
It takes guts to come out and say what's going on, and that's a good place to start. I think one of the first things you gotta do is get to know yourself a little better and learn to love you, because it seems like you're searching for something outside yourself, when you may be missing what's needed inside. Like Flopstock said, there's nothing wrong with sex, but indiscriminate sex is not only risky, it's not the way to validate yourself. You have to learn how to do that on your own and the relationships you have with others will be so much more rewarding.
It takes guts to come out and say what's going on, and that's a good place to start. I think one of the first things you gotta do is get to know yourself a little better and learn to love you, because it seems like you're searching for something outside yourself, when you may be missing what's needed inside. Like Flopstock said, there's nothing wrong with sex, but indiscriminate sex is not only risky, it's not the way to validate yourself. You have to learn how to do that on your own and the relationships you have with others will be so much more rewarding.
whats wrong...
You sound a lot like me and my friends when we were you age. Its a pretty common experience I would say. My advice as a 35 year old is to make sure you use condoms when you are having casual sex, whatever about other contraception. In terms of casual sex itself, its your own choice about what you want to do, but be careful, and not just about the sex, there are some bad boys out there, its easy to get led astray, I've watched it happen. Your own feelings about yourself and relationships will change as you get older no doubt, and perhaps you wont feel as confused about things. Take care.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
-
Patsy Warnick
- Posts: 4567
- Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:53 am
whats wrong...
Congrats to you for being open & realizing your feelings and trying to make the appropriate choices.
I'd speak to a DR, to help with the depression - we don't want to lose you.
Writing / starting a journal - write down your feelings/experiences, annalyze and get to know yourself.
Theres nothing wrong with sex, as long as its covered.
Take care
Patsy
I'd speak to a DR, to help with the depression - we don't want to lose you.
Writing / starting a journal - write down your feelings/experiences, annalyze and get to know yourself.
Theres nothing wrong with sex, as long as its covered.
Take care
Patsy
whats wrong...
The good news is you're 19............the bad news is you're 19! As a fairly mature and responsible (cough cough) 32 year old, i would say go and talk to some one - when i was feling really bad about some stuff that was going on, i went to my dictir and they had a counselor who i went to for a few sessions - it really helped. Always here to listen
h
xx
h
xx